Category Archives: Healing

Like metal forged in the hot flames to become renewed and stronger, we too can be forged to be renewed and stronger in the hot flames of tribulation.

The Spiritual Magic of Engagement

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On the five year anniversary of Marcus’s passing, Karen gets a delightful surprise visit from her love, as she visits his memorial tree.

The Path

On October 11, 2020, Karen wrote:
“Five years ago today, my love, Marcus, lost his earthly life to depression/suicide. On this day, I planned a trip to the memorial tree that I chose for him years ago. It had been almost a year since I visited our tree where I left a painted rock for him- so many years ago. I actually contemplated not going, using the cold wind as an excuse- and knowing he can feel my love from anywhere.”

“This year, I made a special ornament with a poem on it to leave for him, so I decided to go to the path to where I thought the tree was. To my disappointment, I realized that it had been so long, that I had forgotten which tree it was that I left the original memorial rock. I walked around and found another tree, this time, a pine tree that I named our “Christmas tree”. I told my love that I would make this our new tree since I forgot where the original one was. I hung the ornament and talked to him for a while.”

“As I left the tree and started walking down the path, my eye caught a yellow painted rock hidden in a tree trunk. I laughed and wanted it to be a sign from my love, but it didn’t resonate as anything other than amusing, and I almost kept walking.”

Yellow rock

Bug-like rock with eyes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Be Engaged”

“However, my eyes noticed another painted rock in the tree with a message that said, “be engaged.” I thought it was a cool message and wanted it to be a sign for me, but the message didn’t really resonate either.”

 

 

 

 

Original Rock

“Next, I looked down and noticed blue colored leaves that stood out. Curious about it, I looked further and found the original stone that I painted for Marcus and left a few years earlier. That is when I knew this was our tree!”

 

 

 

 

“Then, low and behold, if that was not enough, I saw a red rock under the leaves close by. I pulled it out. It was a brightly painted red rock with eyes on it. When I turned it over, the message for me said, “u are loved.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wow! Talk about a sign! I could feel my love laughing and rejoicing that I found his sign- as I almost did not!! What an amazing day! I felt so blessed and wanted to share with everyone that this is proof- after 5 years. A lot has changed in my life- but love never dies- and they never leave us!!”

Commentary- If we take a close look at the chronological happenings of Karen’s experience, a pattern begins to form in which an important lesson comes into view.

  1. Completely unaware of somehow passing, and unable to find Marcus’s original memorial tree ahead, Karen finds another tree to rename as their new tree. But interestingly enough, on her way back, Karen notices a curious yellow spotted bug-like rock with eyes. Obviously, this is a sign that means “to look and see.” Although Karen wanted it to be a sign, this rock didn’t seem to resonate. In thinking that a sign or message is unrelated to us, how many times has that happened to us all?
  2. Next, Karen literally sees the sign that says, “Be Engaged.” Again, although nice, Karen brushed it off as not applicable to her. Again. Thinking that a sign or message is “nice” but is unrelated to us, how many times has that happened to all of us? A lot of the time.
  3. It was at that time that the strange appearance of bluish leaves caught her eye that she found the original rock that made her realize the this was their tree! It was only after the strange blue leaves that she started to really tune in. Karen became engaged at a higher level and was now available for some spiritual magic. (To clarify, when I talk about spiritual magic, I’m not referring to anything negative or occult-like. When I talk about spiritual magic, I mean something heavenly and extraordinary, that it rarely occurs in everyday life).
  4. Now, Marcus had her attention! But what was he trying to say? While bent over, Karen noticed the red rock with big eyes as if to see and say to her, “Are you engaged now? Look and see my signs and message.”
  5. In turning the rock over on the five year anniversary of Marcus’s passing/transition, Karen knew everything she could ever want to know from Marcus. That in her remembering of Marcus and their love on that very special day, she too, was remembered and loved by Marcus, as well. 

The definition of “engage” means to be interested in, involved in and that there is something to pay attention to. Although at first, each sign upon Karen’s path seemed to be unrelated, all the signs were clearly trying to get her attention and hoping beyond hope that she would not miss the prize. When she finally found it, it was all too clear from Marcus’s proud and joyful laughter, that his message was successfully delivered to his love on that special day. 

But, Karen came close to missing this. If it weren’t for the strange blue leaves, she might have left disappointed that her love was silent on that day. She might have become insecure- cried and doubted, too. She might have gone home and wondered if Marcus is still around and if he still cares about her after these five years. (By the way, our loved ones are around, and do care about us always).

However, all too often, signs are right in front of us. Without the magic of engagement and that spark of curiosity contained therein, those same signs might be over-looked. Instead of recognizing them, these special signs are wasted on us as easily dismissed… or perhaps just chalked up to wishful thinking. With this way of thinking, we miss so much of the beauty of spiritual magic that exists right in our path and just beyond our vision. In missing it, we miss the prize, too.

As humans, consumed with our daily lives, you can see how easy it is to become disengaged to any spiritual magic. As we dwell on this physical plane, with so much going on, it takes a lot of energy to generate presence in each moment. Engagement is not so much a thing we do, as a way of being. It requires our focus and attention. When we lose the wonder and awareness of our inner child, we trade them in for practicality. Worst case scenario is that our faith wanes and we become apathetic and resigned. The danger in this is, we risk missing the very thing that would make our heart sing and bring us the new-found life that was so apparent in Karen’s experience. She was so impacted by her magical encounter with Marcus that she literally wanted to shout it to the world! And, so she did!.

As in Karen’s case, it was only after experiencing some small, and seemingly unrelated things, that she was able tune in to see the bigger picture that was so beautifully laid out before her.  Though, seeing the larger picture is rarely possible if we are not engaged in the first place. If we practice becoming more fully engaged, that also means aware, involved and interested in, we become available to spiritual magic. However, like the open, believing and faithful child of wonder we once were, this is no longer automatic for us. As children growing to adulthood, this is something we have learned to forget. And now, as adults, this is something we must learn to rediscover, practice and apply in our daily lives if we are to have access to those spiritual treasures.

Karen got an awesome experience from Marcus. She wasn’t expecting it, but it happened just the same. And, sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t. But, being engaged is a good place to start. Keep the faith. As the spiritual world seeks our attention and engagement, and wants us to look and listen, their message is to convey to us that we are not alone and we are so loved. Through the many millions of after-death communications from beyond, some of which are our own, we know this is a fact. So, let us not casually look on in obliviousness, for the next sign we will never see. When we are engaged in the spiritual magic on our life’s path, that’s when spiritual magic happens.

Special Occasion Visitations

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On the 4-year anniversary of his passing, Liz’s father reminds her that he is aware of this day, and makes his presence known to her on her laptop via Skype.

On July 14, 2020, Liz wrote:
“It’s been awhile, but I got another message today. Today is the 4th year of my Dad’s passing.”

laptop

laptop

“I came home this afternoon and turned on my laptop. It was doing an update. Once it had finished, the screen stayed black for an extremely long time, which made me wonder if something had gone wrong. Eventually, it sorted itself out and my desktop appeared, but I knew something was still going on in the background.”

“I waited, and eventually it all settled down when I notice an extra icon on my taskbar. It was Skype. I never use Skype. I put my curser on it and it said I was logged in. That was strange so I clicked on “log out” but instead of logging out, it brought Skype up.”

“When I looked at it, Billy, my partner, looked at it too, and asked, “Why are you looking at Skype?”  I told him it had started by itself. He asked me the last time I had used Skype. It was 4 years ago after my Dad passed. It was only then that I suspected a visit from my Dad.”

“We weren’t able to go back to the UK for his funeral, since he passed the day we arrived home from visiting him. My family told me not to come back, that we’d been there and seen him just days before and that we could be involved in his funeral via Skype, which we did.”

“So, I’ve come to the conclusion that this was Dad presenting himself on the very day of his passing, just four years later. I went into my update history and today’s update was a general windows 10-monthly update. There was nothing about Skype being included in it.”

Commentary- Sometimes our departed loved ones present themselves to us on special occasions such as, significant dates we once shared together, like holidays, birthdays and anniversaries. Although we normally tend to think of these special occasions as relatively happy events, after experiencing a painful loss, they are now sad, especially when the pain of a loved one’s passing is still fresh and unprocessed.

Even though we will always love and miss our departed ones, as we heal properly through the grief process, a visitation like the one Liz experienced, four years after her father’s passing, likely made her smile in awe and wonder. With the benefit of time, healing and a positive perspective, she avoided the all too common emotional breakdown of one newly affected by such loss, still reconciling and coping with the devastation it created.

Liz has had her share of visitations from her father, as well as others who have gone ahead of her. But knowing Liz the way I think I do, a long distance friend I’ve never met from another continent, who, in words and tone of emails, shares with me her experiences, I think I am safe to say that Liz handles the possibility of spiritual visitations with grace. She is open to receiving them… but does not go out to chase down these magical experiences. However badly she might want them, she allows them to come to her. And they do… whenever they do.

Some sad and frustrated grievers might wonder, “How come my departed loved one never visits me… especially on these important events that held so much meaning?” “There must be some reason. Are they mad at me? Have they forgotten me? Don’t they love me anymore? Am I doing something wrong?” “If I don’t have a visitation from them, I’m going to freak out!”

I’ve heard a variation of the above questions from concerned grievers so often and it breaks my heart. It does seem that in such a vulnerable and raw state of grief, our worst fears tend to surface. As if dealing with the loss of a loved one isn’t enough, our deepest fears (all the unknowns things of death) rear their ugly heads to further torment us by inflicting more pain. The disorientation of this new experience and what it entails, can be deeply unsettling and confusing. We just want a sign to help us feel better!

Given the fear that can come up in the face of a death, it’s easy to jump to the worst conclusions we can think of, instead of the best ones. Why is that? Why are we so quick to question the love and bonding we shared upon this Earth, and why so easily?

A positive and healthy perspective goes a long way here. Here is an example. If one comes from the perspective of scarcity, the tendency for that one will be to view/experience the world from a place of insecurity, unworthy, desperation, fear, never having enough of something, and thinking, “It”- (whatever “it” is) never happens to me. “It happens for others but not for me.” And… the one who sees the world in that way will see the world that way… and that one will be right. 

However, if one comes from the perspective of abundance, the tendency for that one will be to view/experience the world from a place of security, worthiness, patient confidence, opulent faith, grace, and thinking, “It could happen to me at any moment, just because it can. And, when it does… I’ll be there for it with an attitude of awe and wonder.” Perspective is powerful. Perspective is everything.

For sure, there is a huge difference between those perspectives. You can feel it in the energy of the words. The one with that powerful perspective generously allows into their experience, so much more.

perspective- dark and light

perspective- dark and light

You see, the experiences of our lives, live themselves out in the perceptions of our choosing, making our lives darker or lighter, heavy or more effortless. However, we are barely conscious or responsible for this. We pretend to have no choice in the matter. It’s just something that’s happening TO us.

Instead of allowing the dark side of fear and scarcity to take us down so quickly, without a fight, perhaps we can remember what really matters when the ‘rubber hits the road.’ While our loved one dwelled here physically with us on this planet, our departed loved us and bonded with us in complex ways that we could never begin to unravel. Our love is our commitment. Why would they simply forget about us now? They could not. It is fear and scarcity speaking that says they could forget you.

Even if you think your departed loved one isn’t here for you on your special occasion, our departed loved ones are here for us in whatever way they are. Trust that. We don’t always get a say in how that looks to us. And, sometimes they surprise us and we do. However, experiencing from the lens of abundance definitely helps to decrease our suffering, giving us the possibility of quicker healing too..

Give yourself some space to see from a positive and healthy lens. The hurtful questions of scarcity don’t need to be entertained. Have some faith in yourself and the love you invested in your loved one while you dwelled together on this planet. Have some faith in them, and the love they invested in you, too. Next time fear raises its ugly head to wonder about your status with your departed loved one, ask yourself this- “What would love do? What else would love do but keep on loving you?”

Abundance

Abundance

There Is No Place Like Home

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In this after-death communication, Kim’s husband, Terry, hunkers down as a spirit in his home, until he’s good and ready to go to the light.

Kim writes:
“Terry, my husband of 36 years, passed away 6 weeks ago from a horrific battle with prostate/bone cancer. I cannot stop crying.”

“About 5 weeks after his passing, I had a dream that I saw him in his bedroom putting on his pajamas. There were 2 young girls that I did not know standing there. They were in their teens and had long, wavy hair that was parted in the middle. Pardon me for sounding snotty, but they were rather homely looking. They looked almost like twins. Both were wearing a sleeveless, cream colored, slip-over type dress. The material was lightweight and the girls were barefoot.”

“I was standing in the hallway of our house, right at the doorway of his bedroom. The girls were facing me, but Terry was facing the chest of drawers in front of him so I had a side view of him. It seemed as though he had gotten something out of his drawers, probably the pajamas he was putting on. The two girls stared at me, saying nothing, not smiling, they just stared at me. My husband did not look at me! I could not believe he would ignore me! If those girls “saw” me, why didn’t my husband see me?”

“The feeling I got from the girls was very ominous! As if they were telling me NOT to come near Terry! Terry never saw me. Or if he knew I was there, would not acknowledge me? I felt so very scared and hurt!”

Commentary- This dream is symbolic as well as an actual peek into an important moment for Terry. Kim’s dream tells the story of what had happened in that moment so that Kim could be privy to this knowledge and be comforted in her grief.

Although Terry had already passed 6 weeks earlier, in Kim’s dream, he was at home, doing some things he always did, one of which was to put on his pajamas.

Guardian Angel

Guardian Angel

The two barefoot girls were guardian angels. They appeared as plain in looks and dress because the emphasis was not on them, it was on Terry. Given how amazing it would be to actually see guardian angels, beautiful or even homely, elaborate or plain, Terry was to be the focal point of what Kim was to notice most. But, just an interesting note here, for whatever reason, the bare feet on a spiritual visitor is commonly an indicator of someone not of this world, but instead, the heavenly realms.

Although this experience occurred in a dream, Kim was having an out of body experience and was actually seeing a close up of the reality of the situation with her spiritual eyes.

Right at his bedroom door, Kim sees Terry, going about the day to day motions of living, in this case, one of them is putting on his pajamas as he get ready to go to sleep. He is facing away from Kim. The angels are facing toward Kim, seeming ominous so that Kim does not disrupt the process that is happening.

What was happening? Until that moment, Terry was refusing to leave his home and his wife. Feeling helpless in leaving his wife and life behind, he was hunkered down to stay, so to speak, but rapidly losing that fight with reality. In this light, we see angels who were there guarding his spirit, allowing Kim to witness what happened in the end, yet warning Kim with their minds not to interfere in the process of his imminent ascension into the light that was about to happen.

Terry with his now departed pet, Woody, now together again

Terry with his now departed pet, Woody, now together again

It does happen that spirits may try to stay where they were most comfortable, in their home and with the people they love. It wasn’t that Terry didn’t know his body had already passed. He did, but he also knew that he, as a spirit, was alive and wanted to stay. It’s okay that it happens. It works it’s way out one way or another, so there is no need to worry about this if it happens. People and spirits have free will. Either way, Terry was not ready yet and it would not happen one second before he was good and ready. This might have felt like the only control he had at the time, so he used it.

Although, it’s interesting to note that Terry was in his pajamas, which are people’s end of the day clothes. This represents that he was getting ready to slip into another level of consciousness. He knew leaving this realm was inevitable, it was just a matter of will and process, and now it was time.

It’s also common for people who have dreams in which their loved ones don’t acknowledge them, to think their loved one is mad at them for something. This is not true, it’s just a fear the griever may have. Although Terry was not aware of Kim at the time, because he was in a slightly different dimension, he was aware of his situation and that it was time to go.

Signaling a tense moment, he angels appeared ominous to keep Kim away, as it would have made things even harder for Terry to make his transition if he were actually aware of her. Terry, not looking at Kim in her dream, was never about hurting or ignoring her, it was about not trying to hurt her by sticking around as long as he could to protect and watch over her.

As I’m writing this, I’m realizing that not only is this post about an after-death communication from Terry, Kim’s out of body experience, but also, really close to a shared-death experience, that Kim was privileged to witness. A shared death experience, because she actually saw the moment before Terry ascended from the physical realm and into the light. What amazing experiences these all are and so powerful and effective to healing and knowing that the spirit does go on and on after this life.

Kim and Terry's home fire

Kim and Terry’s home fire

There is no place like home. We’ve heard that a lot, and we love our homes. Besides the physical structures that we call our home, there are the emotional and mental structures of support that we love and give us comfort, too. Kim is Terry’s home. Terry is Kim’s home. 

Kim knows Terry fought his mightiest to stay in this realm despite the pull on him to do otherwise, but in the end, Terry had to succumb to the inevitability of his spirit’s heavenly home. However, after going into the light, I’m sure it didn’t take long for Terry to realize that he wasn’t limited to just one place. Once returned to the protection of the light, and are debriefed in the knowledge of the light, it doesn’t mean our departed loved ones can’t be with us in our daily lives too. They can and do with the protection of the light of heaven. Otherwise, a soul who stays and does not go to the light is just another haunting. Remember, free will exists for people and spirits. And, I’m glad to say that Terry found his way to the light and still spends time with Kim in their home. Kim still feels Terry’s presence around their home and is greatly comforted by it. 

Heavenly home

Heavenly home

And one day, not so far away, Kim and Terry will joyfully and fully reunite, face to face, once more in their heavenly home together. But for now, home is where the heart is. And, there’s no place like home. And, there’s no one like our loved ones.

Note- Our brains are complex. But, if you can actually comprehend the simplicity of what I’m about to tell you, here is the best kept secret ever. We can never really be apart from one another- in life or in, what we call, death. We are always connected in our spiritual hearts. No, really. We are.

Stress and the Grief Process

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Understanding how stress plays a sizable part in the Grief Process and ways to decrease it to make grieving easier.

At one time or another, we’ve all experienced periods of intense stress in our lives. Some of these stressors might include: food, housing and job insecurity, political unrest, family issues, enduring abusive relationships, trouble with or losing a relationship, being in poor health or losing a loved one through death.

Unlike short bouts of stress involving just one or two stressors, trying to survive a world pandemic is a huge sustained stressor that includes many of these factors at the same time. Think of the ramifications of all this. There is nothing greater than trying to survive so much of this at once. Although it doesn’t make it any easier, the insane amount of stress you may be feeling is being felt by many, worldwide.

Who knows when it will end? How many more will this pandemic claim to itself? When will the consequences of it play out? Will we find our way through this in one piece? So many questions up in the air with so few answers. So much doubt and fear. So many feelings of helplessness. So many subtle, and even outright threats of violence, too. You can feel the deep rumble of fear and uncertainty. With emotions high, it can feel like we are living in a powder keg on the verge of a spark. We are really living through something quite extraordinary… and something so very serious.

Our lives have been changed forevermore. With all this rapid change coming at us, with so much loss, many of us will need to work our way through some version of a grief process – just to get to the other side of this darkness. We may already feel the tremendous weight of this now, if not later. The intense stress we may experience, added to our loss, has the capacity to make things even worse. You see, grief and stress have a lot in common.

Just a reminder that the grief process has several identifiable steps, depending on which version you read. To make it easy, I will go with the most tried and true steps. They don’t always go in order and some of them are more prominent than others.

  • shock, denial and disbelief
  • bargaining, feelings of helplessness
  • sadness and/or anxiousness
  • anger and/or rage
  • coming to terms with what’s so
  • acceptance

If you find yourself in the Grief Process, you might be experiencing one or more of these steps. That’s perfectly normal. How long it takes to heal, depends on how long it takes to get through the steps of the process, without trying to resist going through them. There is no set time frame. Every person is different. But, almost every one of these steps in the grief process, except the last two, happens to come along with a great amount of stress. Hence, it is possible to add even more stress on top of the already existing stress that naturally comes with grieving a loss, or several of them at the same time. Not surprisingly, feeling these human emotions can be extremely stressful. It’s no wonder at all why people try to deny feeling them in the first place. But… the only way out is through. So, a word to the wise… go through with as little resistance as possible.

Just remember a few simple things that everyone already knows, but forgets to use, especially when stressed.

  • Be kind to yourself and others. In times of crisis, it is common to see people either being their weakest self or their greatest self. The power comes with choosing which one you will be in any moment. Here’s a hint. Being your greatest self is more empowering and really makes a big difference in the world around you.
  • Remember to breathe. You hear it all the time as some sort of cliche, but breathing really does regulate stress levels and is such an easy thing to do. Do it by breathing deeply and it will relax your brain and body. It will give some temporary relief… at least until the next time you breathe deeply.
  • Look for ways to empower yourself. When it seems that things are going the wrong way, the human default is likely to feel victimized. However, no matter how bad it may be, feelings of helplessness and hopelessness are of no help. Instead of being on the defensive because something is happening to you, realize that it is happening to many of us. Be on the offensive and take control, wherever you can find ways to be helpful and move hope forward. It may be small, but you will not stay frozen and numb as you will be in motion.
  • Move your body. Take a walk, run or bike ride. Exercising your body is a great stress and anxiety reliever. Walk in place if you can’t go outside.
  • Feed your spirit. Meditate, pray or listen to/watch whatever will relax your brain and body. Make it something that will nurture, recharge and feed your spirit.
  • Practice gratitude. Appreciating what you do have is so much more powerful than focusing on what is missing. Experiencing the “glass half full” rather than the “glass half empty” is always more empowering.
  • Surrender to the process. The grief process is an amazing healing process that, if not resisted, has the ability to completely cleanse and mend. It is our brain’s natural process to follow so our brains can heal from the trauma and turmoil that has been inflicted. Not surrendering to what is in our best interest, which is our healing, creates even more stress than the stress that already exists. Surrendering to “what is” – IS NOT weak, it is smart, as we will get through our pain, way quicker, and… will heal much deeper.

In this world, there is no way to get around stressful situations, or the grief that contributes to them, as this is just a part of our human experience. As you go through your grief process, remember that – although painful, each of the steps can be very therapeutic, as going through many of these steps is so necessary for us to heal and be refreshed.

And remember, many people fall into a “stress trap.” If you didn’t get it the first time, a “stress trap” is when you keep adding stress on top of already existing stress. The simple exercises above can help greatly. You just have to do them.

There will be plenty of grief in the times ahead of us. We will not soon forget the pain and stress this pandemic has caused, but let’s do whatever we can to hold on, and however we can, get each other through this truly extraordinary challenging time. Hopefully, before to long, we will find ourselves out of this darkness and into the light of a new day.

A Non-Believer’s Experience

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As a hardcore non-believer in an afterlife, with his wife’s passing, Jayson’s mind is quickly changed to show him it exists.

Jayson writes:
“I was possibly the most skeptical person you could find when it came to this kind of stuff. Seriously, didn’t buy any of it. If your dead, your dead. That was it for me.”

“I won’t go into the details but, my wife, mother of my 4 children passed away 3 years ago. 7 days after her death a single Lily grew in our backyard under the tree. This was her favorite flower.”

“We had never planted lilies or really even ventured back to that part of the yard. There is a bit of a steep slope under the tree so, it was hard to get to. But, there it grew. One lone lily. And from that day on, I knew. I knew there was more to this whole thing. It gave such a sense of relief that she was okay and onto greener pastures. (No pun intended).”

“That’s my story. I now know that death is not the end. Quite possibly the beginning. I’m not arrogant enough to claim I know anything more than what I’ve seen and felt. But I can assure you….This isn’t it.”

Commentary- Occasionally, a non-believer will write to genuinely ask me how I know that all this afterlife stuff is real. It’s a really easy question to answer.

In so many words, Jayson said it perfectly with the sharing of his own after-death experience. Basically, you don’t know anything about this spiritual stuff until the moment that you do. When you have a personal “beyond this world” experience that is undeniable, there is no longer any question to entertain. Even if you can’t understand it, like Jayson, when it happens, you know first-hand that this afterlife stuff is real… and you can never go back.

So hang in there non-believers who want to believe. Just one moment can change everything in an instant. 

Visiting A Departed Loved One

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Receiving an after-death communication from a departed loved one is an out-of-this-world experience. What if it were possible for us to visit them, as well?

Christian

Christian

It’s been 10 years since that tragic day of Christian‘s passing. It happened on March 31, 2010. With the ambulance on its way, Christian struggled for his life. In the end, it wasn’t meant to be.

Those were some of the darkest days I’ve ever experienced. For sure, there were some dark years to follow. I don’t know if I could have ever survived that great loss had he not visited me so much from the afterlife. It was with dreams, visions, and the other forms of communication, as well as some things he left behind for me, that he taught me so much about life and the afterlife. I learned that it’s really all just one big thing. An example of this is the Yin/Yang symbol. Each side of black and white look so different when really they are both sides to the same whole. For his teachings I am eternally grateful to him for his comfort and illumination.

The other day as I was going through older posts I had written, I ran across a beautiful experience that I had written about visiting Christian, after his death. For reference, the post is, Never Far From Home. The very next morning of remembering this amazing experience, I woke up from another “dream” of the same exact variety. This made me realize- even more so, that as our departed loved ones sometimes visit us with a sign or after-death communication, it is possible for us, on a spiritual level, to venture off to visit them in their world, too. Although mostly, it is quite accidental that we make this discovery.

It just so happened that during that same time frame, a man wrote to me, puzzled and somewhat disappointed as to why, when he was so happy to see his beloved wife while lucid dreaming, she did not notice him at all. That subject does not come up much. It is probably because when it happens, people just think it was some sort of a meaningless, but cruel dream. People may also take it as though their departed loved one is ignoring them, because they are mad or disappointed, when they are not. This kind of thing can bring up insecurity in the bereaved, creating even more pain from their loss.

As I was wondering what to share to honor Christian’s 10 year anniversary of passing, with my recent realization, as well as this man’s question, I realized that the sharing of this subject of us visiting our departed loved ones and the illumination of it, was the right thing to post.

I chose this recent dream of mine to translate, as I saw that it plainly laid out some important steps in the mechanics of how these visitations with our loved ones, take place.  After looking deeper into what, at first look, seemed like a hodgepodge dream that could have easily been dismissed, in it, I found some real gems of insight, hopefully important enough to shed some light.

In my dream, I went into the garage to get some air. The garage door was open and it was dark out there beyond my garage door to the outside world. To my right, I noticed there was a reflection on the window of a vehicle that was parked there in the garage. At first, it didn’t make sense as there was no light source to make that possible.

As I turned to focus on what was causing the light reflection, I saw it was Christian. It was like watching him on a television. He never looked at me once. He didn’t even know that I was there. I saw him from the side view. The image was mostly full length. He looked very happy and occupied with something that gave him great pleasure. Then, I slowly woke up as I transitioned back into my physical daytime world.

Now, about visiting our departed loved ones. I will repeat the dream again, breaking it down, but with the symbolic translation this time, as well as, some steps to be aware of to recognize this phenomenon when it does happen.

In my dream, I went into the garage to get some air.
Translation: I needed a new perspective, so I went outside my home (my body) to accomplish this. My spirit did not go far from my body when this happened as I stayed within the garage. Wanting to get some air is also wanting to get a fresh breath of new perspective, as this is considered vital to a healthy functioning life.
Steps: Open to new perspectives. Willingness to see them. Considering perspective to be vital, healthy and important to understanding others, self and the life/afterlife in which we live. 

The garage door was open and it was dark out there beyond my garage door to the outside world.
Translation: My mind was open and I was available to be shown something just outside what many call, “The box.” The darkness represents the unknown. I was okay with going into the unknown or “out of the box” to be shown something new. The outside world to me represents “God” territory.
Steps: Again. Having an open mind. Willing to be vulnerable and teachable. Wanting to know something and being willing to let go enough to know. Being aware of the fact that we don’t know everything, in fact, we know very little in relation to what is there. Trusting the process and that in the end, what is called “God” is the only knower of everything and will enlighten us.

To my right, I noticed there was a reflection on the window of a vehicle as it was parked there in the garage. At first, it didn’t make sense as there was no light source to make that possible.
Translation: At first, here is my brain trying to make sense of something it considers to be illogical, as this did not seem to follow the laws of the physical world. However, through time, my brain has gotten used to the fact that it doesn’t always understand many of the spiritual events of my life. My brain knows that much of the knowledge of spiritual events exist beyond it’s reach of understanding. My brain does not see this as a threat. In this case, my brain quickly realized that the light source was one of a spiritual nature, and unthreatened, sat back to marvel at what it saw.
Steps: Be open to spiritual events. Be open to possibilities that seem to be impossible for the brain to consider. The brain can’t explain everything and that’s okay. It doesn’t have to in order for one to have spiritual experiences.

As I turned to focus on what was causing the light reflection, I saw it was Christian. It was like watching him on a television.
Translation: The television in the glass window of the vehicle was a portal, a window through time/no time, just like the window I also watched him through in my post, Never Far From Home. That window just manifested itself a little differently, but it was a portal nonetheless. Windows and openings to view through or enter are usually spiritual portals. I saw into this portal with my spiritual eyes since the event happened with my physical eyes closed while in a lucid dream.
Steps: Be willing to see what’s there. Some people are afraid to look. Open your eyes enough that your spiritual eyes will open up, too. If there is fear, change it into excitement. If there is cynicism and doubt, transform that into wonder. Being a spiritual explorer means visiting new spiritual dimensions with enthusiasm and awe.

Christian never looked at me. He didn’t even know that I was there. Though I saw him from the side view, mainly, his image was mostly full and actual length.
Translation: If you really think about the logistic of this, this would have actually been impossible in the physical reality, given the full length size of Christian (6’3″), and the smaller size of even the largest car window (2 feet, tops). He was actual size in the window, but the window of the vehicle was quite a bit smaller. These are examples of unexplained space distortions that are also an indication of occurring spiritual events.
Also, the fact that he didn’t look at me is clear. He didn’t see me.
Steps: Spiritual phenomena may seem strange to some. For sure, it is foreign to many of us in this physical existence. Because of this, it is important to adjust your personal/worldview perspective to be able to adapt. Learning to recognize spiritual experiences is kind of like learning a new language, or better said… remembering it. It’s like blurring your eyes to bring something else into focus. It’s like tuning in to the background of life; all the subtleties It’s about nuance, too. It’s about allowing the self as you know it to expand and become limitless.

He looked very happy and occupied with something that gave him great pleasure. Then, I woke up. 
Translation: Although he didn’t see me, I got to see him. He was happy and busy doing something he loved. He is fine.
Steps: Be open to the possibility of seeing them, as well as, the other way around. We are really never far away from those we love.
Keep a dream journal at your bedside and record your dreams before they fade away. There is a lot of information contained for you in those dreams. You can always translate the contents later if you don’t have the chance to do it right away, but it’s really difficult to recall the dream of your departed loved one as you get even moments farther from it. 

Sometimes we have dreams of our loved ones who have passed. We are hopeful when we do, but when they don’t turn to acknowledge us, it can cause some emotional pain. Like, how cruel to finally get to see our loved one and they don’t even see us. We often discount the experience as just a dream without ever realizing that when they visit us… many times we don’t turn to acknowledge them, either. This is just what happens. Sometimes we don’t meet up at the right times, but we do visit one another to some degree, and sometimes when we do meet up, it’s because together again, we’ve aligned for that single moment in time… until we align for good, in the next realm together forever.

Stonehenge Alignment

Stonehenge Alignment Image:Pixabay

Their Presence in our Lives

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We may doubt at times, wondering if our departed loved ones are still with us in any way. Have faith in them, and their continued loving presence in our lives.

Karen writes:
“It has been over four years now since I have been with Marcus in physical form. Although I no longer cry tears on a daily basis, I think of him, talk to him, miss him every day, and love him all the time. Now and then, I still shed tears and the grief overwhelms me. This was the case as the holidays were coming. I miss him so much during that time. Marcus was/is an amazing gift giver, and used to spoil me around the holidays and birthdays. He did this for his entire family.”

“Since his passing on to heaven, he continues to give me signs and gifts around the holidays and birthdays – including his birthday. This year, Christmas day came and went and although I exchanged a gift with him in his stocking, I felt lonely. I was talking to him in my mind, and lamenting the fact that all of the gifts I have given him since his passing, are just really gifts to myself, hanging on a special jewelry tree stand in my room.”

“I typically give him a special ornament every year, and have quite a collection now, including hearts, feathers, dandelions, and more. Everything has a meaning or a connection to Marcus. This year, I gave him a silver heart. Usually, we would exchange gifts on Christmas eve, but this year that night was so busy that I had to postpone our exchange until Christmas night.”

“That evening, I gave him the silver heart, and wondered secretly why he had not given me anything this year that I could call a true sign. It would have been the first Christmas to come and go without an obvious sign from him since his passing. Although I understand the nature of signs, and that we can’t depend on them, my heart was missing this at this time of year.”

“I was driving the next day, the day after Christmas, and was again thinking about our gift exchange. I even apologized for being late this year and asked him if he liked his heart. I got home from my errands, and took the doggies out for our daily walk. As we were walking, I was still thinking of Marcus, and missing him. I was listening to my ‘heaven’ playlist, songs that he has sent me over the years, and it made me feel closer to him.”

Karen's Christmas Coins

Karen’s Christmas Coins

“As I approached my house again, rounding out from the walk, a sparkle caught my eye. I saw a dime right in front of my driveway, and reached down to pick it up. I looked further, and noticed another, then another, and still another- I looked around to see if maybe someone had a purse that emptied while I was out for my walk- looking for an explanation. As my eyes scanned the area, I saw more and more dimes. Now they appeared sprinkled in front of my entire front lawn. It was as if someone threw a roll of dimes in the air right in front of my house.”

 

Karen's Christmas Coins

Karen’s Christmas Coins

“Oddly, it was only dimes. No other coins…. all in all 16 dimes! I was laughing- giddy- just filled with joy at this obvious gift as I collected up the dimes. Marcus gave me the feeling of joy, as if he had gotten me with his sense of humor – making me think he had forgotten. In my mind he was saying that he was glad I found them before the snow storm set in later that day. I am so forever grateful for his continued signs and presence in my life.”

Commentary- Many people receive signs from, or feel the presence of a deceased loved one after they have passed. Some recognize the signs right away while others, who remain open to the possibility, take a little longer to see them. Some people have to be taught to recognize them. Then there are those frustrated believer grievers that don’t believe they receive anything at all. No signs, no after-death communications, no nothing. Then, they go straight to some version of, “What’s wrong with me that I don’t get them?” “Doesn’t my loved one care?”

For those in the latter category, those signs, and the feeling of their loved ones presence may already be happening, but be misinterpreted as some sort of coincidence or wishful thinking. Some may not even be aware, as the fear and trauma of a death has the ability to put one’s state of mind anywhere but in the present. I will discuss this more in one of my next posts entitled, “There’s No Place Like the Present” as it relates to grief.

In the state of grief, many people discount spiritual experiences as inauthentic, as they focus more on the painful reality of their new life. Their priority may be about dealing more with the physical shock and pain, and less about spiritually tuning in. There may be so much negative emotional trauma, it can be easy to miss their departed loved ones support through all the grief and pain. It’s like the pain is so loud in our heads, that the comfort can’t be heard or felt. This is truly a confusing time of crisis, where the upheaval of one’s life practically upends all sense of stability, perception and faith. It takes a while to recover to a state of normality and familiarity.

But, at some point, we might become aware of the comfort that has been there in the midst of the sadness. We might begin to notice the signs because we can now be reached… we are now available. We might now be able to hear a little better, as the noise of devastation settles down a bit.

Whether or not we have been aware of signs or our loved ones presence, they are there, I’m sure. But sometimes, they are very subtile and take a particular way of looking and listening that is unlike that of the looking/listening we are used to in this physical  realm.

I have received hundreds of signs from people who have lost a loved one. They are immortalized within the pages of this site, along with numerous after-death communications. Signs look like rainbows, dragonflies and other winged things, cloud projections of angels and hearts, the unexplained sudden and surprising appearance of coins, as was Karen’s experience.

There are literal signs on the road, on a billboard or a license plate. There are far too many to list here, but the thing about them being something special, is the enlightened feeling that this sign is a personal message to that one receiving it. It is the feeling of being “singled out” in an obvious and meaningful way that is hard to deny. More times than not, you absolutely know it when it happens, but still might ask yourself, “Am I going crazy?” At first you might think you are.

Often, we can feel their presence. As we listen and feel, it may come in quiet moments of reflection that often manifest as a feeling of being hugged or touched and a tingling sensation that follows. Their voice might pop into our heads, or a literal message might manifest in a show or song. You might catch a scent that is associated only to the departed. You might even briefly see them.

These simple spiritual manifestations make it possible for us to know and feel comfort that our loved ones still exist. Signs are given to show those left behind, that they are not going through this devastating time alone. Although it is exceedingly painful to go through the pain of grief, we may feel some sort of comfort and support from our departed loved one.

If you just close your eyes and take a deep breath of reassurance, it is possible to feel them next to you. No, it’s not like when they were in the physical realm, but we take what we can get, for things are different now and we must get used to it. But, do not let your brain deceive you, just because you can’t experience in the ways you always did, it doesn’t mean they ever left. It doesn’t make sense that they would leave us in our greatest time of need. Would you do that to your loved ones? Love as powerful as it is, would not be stopped by heaven or hell. There are so many signs and after-death communications, from so many people to prove it.

As far as a time frame, as it relates to their presence, contrary to what some say, it has been my experience that signs and after-death communications don’t have an expiration date. There is no expiration date that prevents them from being by our side, cheering us on on our challenging path of life. It’s been 3 years for Karen. Marcus is still around, even giving gifts and teasing her the way he always had. But as time goes on, sometimes, they’re more silent than before.

One day, not feeling much of a presence from our departed loved one, we may wonder. Have they gone somewhere? As we get further from those darkest days of our loss, it seems they frequent us less and less. This is not to be confused with the thinking that they have actually left us alone, they are just not revealing themselves in our lives. At least, this is what Christian taught me after his passing.

At some point on our grief path, it will be time to bravely step forward. One step and then another, and so on. Of course, we have the pain of our loss and miss them desperately, as we are forced to step forward into an uncertain future without their physical presence. If we are to experience the depth of our feelings as a human, learn from our losses, deal with our emotions, evolve and heal from our deepest pain and have faith in a new future, this is all part of it. This is part of experiencing life and what it is to be human.

But… this is not to say they won’t pop in periodically, and put that big smile on our face, or even make us giddy, as Karen was with Marcus’ gift of dimes. This life is our school, with many tests. There will be times that we must be left to ourselves for the hardest, most growth promoting parts of our learning. Being tested on it, we become stronger and get to know ourselves in a deeper way than ever before. Through this process called life, we are allowed to develop ourselves in deeper ways than had we not had our tough challenges.

Yes, it’s really sad that our loved ones are gone (out of sight, that is), and of course, we could never forget them, but, at some point our loved ones make themselves scarce. Although this is incredibly difficult, we need to get back to some semblance of life if we are ever to move through our grief. This is so we can deal, learn, grow & develop and heal. But this is usually a long way into the grief process.

At the beginning, we so desperately need our loved one’s support and to be reassured. These signs and after-death communications go a long way toward that end, as well as, developing for ourselves the faith in an afterlife and the promise that we will see them again. 

I love Karen’s graceful and peaceful attitude. Although she is hopeful Marcus will manifest, she is understanding, humble and calm in the case that he doesn’t. Undeniably, she if confident in the strength of their spiritual bond together, and that something as simple as physical death (also a part of life), could never break it. Karen is faithful. Karen is peaceful.

We may have doubts at times. That’s a human thing. But just remember who your loved one was on Earth, trust in their love and caring. Have some faith in them and their continued loving presence in our lives. You will be much more peaceful for it.

Blessings for a peaceful healing journey.

The Power of Positive Perspective

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We get so caught up in the situations of our lives that we forget that we have any power to change our view of it. This post is just a reminder that you can.

Chilling out

Chilling out – Image: Pixabay

In the hustle and bustle of our busy world, where it seems like time IS literally flying right by us, sometimes we forget to take a moment of peace and relaxation for ourselves. Even… if it is just to pause and breathe deeply and get centered in that one moment.

 

 

Powerful Beyond BeliefWhen we don’t have what we need in life, stress rises and we begin to worry about how we will attempt to meet our needs, sometimes it helps to reflect upon what we do have and imagine the possibility of all that we are, and all that we can do. Even… if it’s just for a moment.

 

You may be unduly surrounded by hatred and discord and you think it to be all-consuming to the point of contamination, yet, sometimes it works to boldly blast them with unexpected love and kindness as a response. Even… if you get some strange looks, it might lighten the situation.

Love is Forever

Love is Forever

Although we may feel grieved that our departed loved ones are not physically with us, sometimes it’s powerful to remind ourselves that they are with us spiritually, even if it’s just for an eternity.

Always remember this. Our life is all about perspective.  Sure, life throws at us some pretty gnarly situations to overcome, but it’s up to us- just how we will perceive these scenarios and how we will choose to proceed with that perception. Life is like a glass that can either be half empty or half full. It’s just the way you choose to look at it.

Freeing yourself

Freeing yourself – Image: Pixabay

May I suggest a practice that uses attitudes of peace, love, inspiration and gratitude as a tool? If you seek out the bright side of light and life, you will find it in the positive perspective of how you think. This power is yours to be had, at any time, and is totally up to you just how free you can be!

 

Processing Grief Through Writing

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In processing her grief over the loss of her husband, Rich, Kathy writes a book of their last and fateful trip to the Bahamas, as seen through the eyes of her cocker spaniel. 

Kathy writes:

Rich

Rich

“My husband, Rich, died 4 years ago while we were on a dream trip to the Bahamas on our Pearson 385 sailing vessel. It was to be the start of a great retirement, but our trip changed course and altered our lives forever. Rich became septic and a short 4 weeks later he was dead.”

“I had this idea in my head to write a book that chronicled our last and final trip down the west coast of Florida, the Keys, and the Bahamas. I had done a blog along the way and needed to add some more chapters and elaborate a bit on the contents. The results “CJ, BITTS, and a BOAT, An Adult Cruising Adventure.” It was published in March of 2019.”

 

CJ&Bitts Charlotte Harbor

CJ&Bitts Charlotte Harbor

“The book is written through the eyes and voice of CJ, my cocker spaniel. Bitts is her Shih Tzu sister, and of course the boat is our beloved Rikava, which was named by joining together parts of our names. The book is a dog story, a love story, and a travelogue that has humor, education, adventure, drama and tragedy.”

“First and foremost, I wanted the book to be a tribute to my wonderful Rich. Maybe I just wanted to immortalize him. I thought writing it would be cathartic, and in a way it was, but it certainly was hard to write the “Livin the Nightmare” chapter.”

 

“I truly felt like I was there on each and every entry of the blog, and it was all so very crystal clear, like it all happened just yesterday. The happy parts made me smile and the sad parts brought me right back to the reality of this nightmare. It made me shutter and wonder how I ever made it through it. Writing this showed me that I was stronger than I ever thought I was and yes, I made it through it. The Acknowledgements: gave me the opportunity to thank the multitude of family, friends, and strangers who helped me through the ordeal.”

“However, having stated all this, I never thought I would make it through the first two years of the grieving process either. I was such a mess. I swear I cried all day, each and every day. If it wasn’t for having to take care of my elderly Mom and autistic brother, I probably would not have gotten out of bed. God certainly knows what he is doing!”

“So, just like some of the rest of the grievers out there, I made it through the worst of times. I think of Rich when I wake up and before I go to bed at night. I don’t think that will ever change. However, now I do more smiling than crying, remembering his sweet soul and all the magical times we had and truly believing we will see each other again at the end of my time on Earth. And yes, I have emerged stronger than I ever thought possible.”

CJ

CJ

Commentary- I asked Kathy to share the healing process of writing her book, through the voice of her Cocker Spaniel, CJ, because I saw the tremendous value of articulating and processing grief in this very cathartic way.

In times of intense grief, the human brain is fixated in the one dimensional thinking of immediate pain, pain and more pain. It can think of nothing else. Shock and denial sets in as a form of natural anesthesia. This is the way our brain goes into survival mode in an attempt to numb us, and tamp down the full devastation of the emotional spectrum that surely will come.

With time, as we begin to process what happened and how our world has changed because of it, shock and denial fade as we begin to feel more of the full weight and consequence of our loss. And just like the feeling of anesthesia that has worn off, we begin to experience the raw pain as our new reality sets in. This is a normal part of our grief process.

In this dark unfamiliar place, we search for light. Being newly blinded, we struggle to understand what we can’t yet begin to comprehend. We try to find tools that will help us find our way out of the pit of despair in which we are now contained. We go through a confusing myriad of emotions that come, go and blend into one another. It repeats so often that we think we might not survive.

If you’ve experienced loss, all this may sound familiar, It’s a dark, lonely and devastating place. But one thing is for sure. While you are having all these thoughts and feelings, the good news is that you are on the road to begin to process them. This takes time and perspective. It also takes courage.

Writing is a deliberate way to work through the hard to face emotional blocks linked to difficult thoughts. Being able to articulate a grief process is a must, if one is to ever uncover what is actually thought and felt. Although verbal expression works too, writing is a more private option.

Using the medium of writing, through book or blog as Kathy did, is not only a great idea to face the truth of what happened, but does so in a immensely therapeutic way. This is why keeping a journal of thoughts and feelings are often recommended for the bereaved. Taking time to slow the thoughts and feelings down can be calming and peaceful. Of course it can be bittersweet, too.

Allowing CJ to tenderly tell much of the story was a brilliant way for Kathy to process her devastating loss from a multi-dimensional perspective. This is related to peripheral healing. Both she and CJ told their own story, but from different points of view. In doing so, she gave herself the opportunity to heal different layers on different levels. She told what she could tell as CJ and she told what she could tell as Kathy. 

Articulating thoughts by spoken or written word, can help to isolate the cause of particular emotions. Sometimes, it just important to know what your dealing with. Poetry is great for this and can really capture your painful world in a very deep, dramatic and creative way.

There are very good reasons for writing down your thoughts and feelings. It is possible to discover that certain painful thought-producing emotions are not even real. If you don’t consciously monitor your thoughts on a regular basis, you may have some false ones. For example. It might be something you unconsciously once heard and integrated, without any thought about it. Maybe you didn’t even know the thought was there.

When you really start to listen to your thoughts, you find they are very active. They say all sorts of things. Some things are true and some are not. Some are good and some are just plain, unfair. If you pay attention to them, you will become conscious of what is dictating your experience. Discovering your thoughts, speaking or writing about the pain of those thoughts can shed light into even the darkest of regions, thereby causing light and truth to be your healer. 

Rich

Rich

Although Kathy still misses Rich today, she has come a long way. Dealing with her loss in this profound way, she has done the hard work. She has fully processed her most painful experiences in a very creative way. Having been forged in the Refiner’s flame, she will never be the same. She is stronger and more valiant than ever before. And Rich smiles, as he muses at the absolute magnificence of the woman he still loves. 

You know what they say. “Life is short.” But… without as much as missing a beat, someday, Rich and Kathy will reunite. Their adventure will continue, doing what they love, together, they will sail the heavenly seas again with their furry friends. And this time, their voyage won’t be cut short.

For those interested in Kathy and CJ’s book adventure together, you can find it here- Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com, and BookVenture.com.

“It is a testament to the human capacity for resilience and survival, to create memories and honor those memories that have been created. It is a lovely memoir of one’s travels through life”.
-Reviewer from “The US Review of Books”.

All proceeds go toward animal welfare.

Our Angels Watch Over Us

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Cat experiences several after-death communications for a variety of reasons, but mainly to urgently warn of impending hereditary heart disease in the family.

Catherine writes:
“In 2017, my fiancee, Robert, died in my car in a tragic accident, after which I got several very clear after-death communications.” Continue reading →

Rising Above It All- The Power of Perspective

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Rising Above it All- A powerful but simple tool of perception designed to give one clarity, direction, freedom and peace of mind. 

Have you ever been stuck in a hazy fog of non-clarity that is so thick that you can’t see the best way to proceed? Have you ever struggled for understanding and wisdom? Continue reading →

Survivor’s Guilt (Part Three)

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In part one, Survivor’s Guilt was defined, common symptoms were discussed as well as a few examples. In Survivor’s Guilt part two, we took a closer look into the mechanics and dynamics of Survivor’s Guilt and what causes humans to become so deeply psychologically affected, along with new ways to think about it. Continue reading →

Asking for a Sign

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As an answer to her request, departed Marcus makes his presence known to Karen on Valentine’s Day, when he shows up in a most unexpected way.

Karen writes:
“Lately, I have been really missing Marcus, and the signs he sometimes sends to reassure me that he is around. I have found myself looking for the typical signs he has sent in the past; like license plates, heart clouds, a feather, pennies, etc. But although I have been searching for them- I know that signs don’t always happen on demand.” Continue reading →

A Promise to Heal

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While deep in grief over the loss of her beloved partner, Marcus, Karen receives a sign of hope in the form of a dream that shows her a brighter future. 

Karen writes:
“Many times, I just want to go to the spirit world because I miss my loved one so much. Of course, since I have two sons, I feel very guilty about even thinking this. I don’t have any suicidal tendencies or plans, but I will talk to God and say, “I am ready anytime” or… I simply relish in the fact that every day is a day closer to getting to go to heaven. I love my family and my life, but as you know, it is just that painful of a loss to lose a soulmate.” Continue reading →