Loneliness After Loss

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Among all the stages of grief, probably the hardest part is the loneliness. The vast missing of a beloved seems to extend forever in all directions for a time.

Art and Sally

Art and Sally were married for 54 years. When Art, suddenly passed away just over a year ago, It broke Sally’s heart. Since then, Sally has been grieving and missing her husband terribly.

Throughout their marriage, Art loved to take care of things for Sally, inside the house… and out. He was very handy, capable and could fix just about anything.

In the warmer months, you could see Art outside, wearing his sun hat, either on his tractor or physically working in the yard around the family house they built for themselves. In fact, he liked hats so much that when they would go on any adventure, he would buy a baseball hat as a souvenir.

One day when Art was still in the physical, he asked Sally, “What are you going to do with this big house when I’m gone?” Sally, thinking Art would surely outlast her, shrugged. She never would have imagined he would go before her. You see, the property is in a very secluded area without much traffic or many close neighbors. Art was wanting her to think about such a thing and be prepared in case it was necessary. Surely, It would be too much for Sally to take care of the whole house and property by herself, nor would she want to.

The Hat

Art’s garden hat

After Art’s passing, Sally has had some after-death communications from Art. Ironically, in one of them, he was still taking care of her by informing her of a possible plumbing problem. But the other week when Sally, so lonely and sad, was wanting yet another sign to give her confidence that he is still around, she went outside her house. On top of the flower bed, sat Art’s hat.

Although she can’t explain how the hat got there, Sally knew it was Art who left his it as a sign. No one else had been by the property since the gardeners were there, less than a week before. Enjoying the moment, she left it a day or so before the next time the gardeners would come. Then, she put it on her head and has worn it outside ever since.

Commentary- It’s clear that our loved ones perceive our thoughts and feelings. Although it doesn’t always happen, we do get these signs and after-death communications from time to time. And, it’s a real confidence booster and comfort when it does happen.

Art left his hat on the flower bed, as if to say, “I’m still here, I’m still in the yard and I’m still in the house with you. I have never really left.” It’s also a way for Art to give Sally flowers, and his hat being there, certainly got her attention. He also gave her his hat.

Putting on the hat is a way to merge on a spiritual level. It’s a way to acknowledge they are close to us. Having faith in our bond, we acknowledge and accept the possibility and truth of it.

Loneliness

loneliness

When a loved one passes, it is difficult. There is a particular kind of loneliness that one experiences in what seems to be the setting in of some kind of finality. Sure. Things are not the same. We feel alone even though we may be surrounded, and even supported by people we love.

We see people out and about without as much as a care in the world. We notice the stark contrast in the human state of mind that many never notice until something like this happens to them. The lightness to the heaviness and just how deep the heaviness goes with grief. Never do we go any deeper than this.

We find ourselves in new and uncomfortable places in our psyche. We want to escape but we feel stuck. Sometimes it is just too much to take. The loneliness, that is.

Lean into it

Look. Having gone through this, I know it’s tough. I know it hurts. It may even seem unbearable at times. However, when I am asked about this, I always say to, “lean into it.” Yes. Lean into the loneliness and into the pain. Have the courage to do so. To experience a love this deep as to grieve this hard is a blessing and an honor.

It is a blessing because you loved and were loved. Your relationship was deep and intricate. Your hearts, minds and souls merged together in a way that created this magnificent bond that is not so easy to get over. Good! It takes a lot of missing someone when they are no longer in the physical and sometimes, a whole lot of time. That’s called loneliness. Lean into it, it honors us, them and that sacred relationship.

They are right here

Our beloveds have not gone away. They are with us, love and care for us and reach out to help us where they can. At times, they leave their signs and after-death communications. Our relationships have not gone away. They’ve just gone deeper. We will be reunited with them again someday in the future in a way that satisfies us completely. Every day we live, paves the way for that. But remember, in the meantime, to live your life here, as well.

Shortly after this, another amazing thing happened. Previously, when Art asked her about what she would do with the house, she had no idea whatsoever. In what seemed like a miracle in her mind, she suddenly knew the right answer to that previous question, without any doubt at all.

With Art’s blessing, she will move into a new condominium in town where she will have a community there, no yard work, and will move forward and further into her healing path. And, of course, she knows that Art will follow her there, too.

Side note- Art’s souvenir baseball caps have all been adopted by family members who now spiritually merge with him and wear him close to themselves, as well.

A poem Sally got from one of her grief groups

Knock Knock. He’s there!

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In this After-death Communication, Marie is visited by her beloved husband, with a series of knocks on her window, on two separate occasions.

Marie writes to me:
“In April of 2023, my dear husband of 45 years, passed away suddenly from a fall in our garage. I found him, and was so sad I wasn’t there to help. He wasn’t sick. He had a vibrant life. He loved flying and was training for an aerobatics competition, and still had a beautiful head of blonde hair!”

“The day he died, there was a large white egret (water bird) in our tree. We live in the desert.”

First occurrence,
“A few months later in June, I was sitting in the family room with our dog. I was still very sad. There were two gentle knocks on my window. I thought I was hearing things. Then, there were three knocks on my window. Puzzled, my dog heard those, he got up ran toward the window and stopped.”

“My husband was a kind and gentle person. I was wondering if that could have been him letting me know he was ok but didn’t want to scare me? The knocks were deliberate and spaced. There was no one I could see.”

My 1st response to Marie:

“Absolutely, Marie. Yes, I think you read those experiences perfectly. The message would be something to the effect of, “Hello, I’m still here but don’t want to make you afraid. I love and care about you and am watching over you.”
I’m sorry for your loss. Hugs. May you have many more of these. They are so healing.”

(Four months later in October) Maria writes me again: “The week of April 4, 2024 was one year since I lost my dear husband. However, after that experience of knocking on the sliding glass door in June 2023, I hadn’t heard anything or received any signs. I was disappointed.”

Then… Second occurrence
“A week or so after I wrote you in October of 2023 about this, I was in our bedroom folding laundry, and there were six rapid knocks on that glass door, then five right after. I opened the door, but there was nothing there. I thought if it was my husband again, it sounded urgent and did he want me to help him?”

“I was sad and frustrated because I didn’t know how to help. Interesting that happened on the other side of the house from the first experience, like he came to find me. I wish I knew if he was still near me or has moved on. I don’t know what to make of these experiences. Could my husband have come to me to tell me he was ok? Was he just letting me know he was still around.. and is he still here? And can I do anything to help him… frustrating. I miss him terribly.

My 2nd Response:
“Much of the time, our departed loved ones have, what I call, their own unique spiritual signature. It’s like a calling card that lets you know how they are showing up for you. Your husband knocks. He’s not knocking because he needs something. He knocks because he is trying to get your attention. He is telling you that he is still with you! He cares about you, and he loves you.”

“I know you miss him terribly but please know that although your eyes don’t see him, your ears sure hear him. He will always be with you, now, and when you are reunited. That’s what love does. And, in the meantime, he is always with you in your heart. No. He really is! 🙂 But that’s another conversation.”

Great White Egret Photo: Paul Brennan

Commentary- White egrets are large birds that symbolize purity, grace and new beginnings. It is no wonder that Marie’s husband would be represented in this great bird. Egrets are predator animals which sends the signal that he will be there to protect her and help her to get through adversity. Winged, no less, this could represent a pure heavenly angel, straight from God’s presence.

Many say that if you see an egret, you are very lucky. Maybe even blessed. They are considered a good omen.

I find it interesting that Marie’s husband knocks on glass, whether it be a window or sliding glass door. This points to, not only transparency, but to a portal into the next world, as well. The next world is so close to us. Perhaps he is telling her that he is so close to her, but there is just this thin and easily breakable barrier between them. Maybe even, metaphorically, so close that if he knocks too hard, the barrier will shatter.

In my experience, windows represent entryways, openings or portals into the next world. It’s a common phenomenon. It’s definitely comforting to think about it that way, and like the “veil” that is often spoken of, implies that it is just that- a very thin membrane or fragile divide of sorts.

The softer knocking that happened at first, was to get Marie’s attention in a gentle way. A soft start can prepare us to be more consciously aware that a visit from our beloved is even possible. Paying attention and being willing to grow awareness often paves the way for visits more often.

Many times, through living in such a physical world, people have become spiritually tuned out against the finer and higher vibrations of the edges of our vibrational spectrum. We tend to focus mainly on getting through our day, let alone, getting through our life.

People tend to think that our experience of life exist within our 5 physical senses. It mainly does, but, being a spiritual being first, we can access more of these senses. Mainly, we have just forgotten how.

Dogs and cats are more spiritually attuned. Marie’s dog ran in the direction of the knock, then stopped. More than likely, he saw his master again. Perhaps he sees him quite a lot of the time. But this time was accompanied with some physical noise.

In April of 2024, Marie experienced her first year without her husband in the flesh. The experience of the loss of a beloved is devastating. However, he has always been with her. Always aware, always protective and always loving her. Marie has been able to tap into more than her physical senses. It feels good. It gives us hope and comfort.

Often, these reoccurring spiritual calling cards become the new way to communicate or send a message. The message usually serves as a reminder that our beloved “departed” is not so far away, but… actually very close to us, even to the point of being a part of us. But again… that’s a whole other conversation.

Photo credit: Bru-no (Pixabay)

When Heaven Comes to Us

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In the last nine days of her brother, Joseph’s life, Marijo and her mother experience a preview of the heaven that awaited their loved one.

Marijo writes:
I was very blessed to experience a beautiful shared-death experience with my younger brother in July of 2021.

Just 8 days prior, he made the decision to pass peacefully in a hospice facility. His body had completely been wrecked by his progressive auto-immune disease and a pathogen found in his lungs after a bout of Covid. His physical body was in failure and he was working with a body that could no longer fight.

For nine days, my mother, Toni, and I sat with him. My mother’s worst fear was he would die alone. My fear was she would be alone to watch him pass. As other family came in and out, we left the room for brief periods to eat, rest, shower, and pray.

First Occurrence
As luck would have it, it was a beautiful hospice facility and there was a walking path lined with trees and benches. The benches outside his room became like an old friend. As I was relaxing and reflecting on how my little brother went from very verbal to completely non- responsive, I heard the most beautiful soothing music my human ears had ever heard. I struggle to find the vocabulary to explain the angelic sounds I heard outside Joseph’s room.

The music started off faint but rose up as if it was choir in a marching band, it got louder and louder. It was obvious that the beautiful choral of voices and soft instruments was coming closer and closer. This was the first of three experiences I believe to be shared-death experiences.

The Second Occurrence
The second occurrence happened that same night when my mother and I were both sitting bedside. For two days we watched Joseph experience what the hospice team defined as “the death stare”. However, his most dedicated and very lovey nurse explained, “he is just looking at the angels.” What happened next solidified this point for me.

As we sat quietly, an extremely bright, warm, and pure light projected across his room. My mother and I were speechless. When we were able to converse, we both confirmed the pure light. Once again, human language would not be sufficient to describe the beauty and love that filled his room.

Dragonfly

The Third Occurrence
On day 9, my last shared-death experience occurred. It was the night when my little brother left this Earth. After his death, I went back to the bench outside. I was needing to be alone for a moment. I sat in peace knowing he was experiencing true beauty. Suddenly I was surrounded by dragonflies. They were everywhere in the dark night.

If the other two signs did not confirm his soul was at peace, this last shared experience was unmistakable. The beauty I witnessed through the sounds of the music, the peacefulness of the bright light, and the glory of the dragonflies, constantly fill my heart. I have zero doubts about the magnificence of an afterlife now.

The Power of an Afterlife Perspective
I won’t say my grief was lighten but I will say my perspective was drastically changed. Death is not something I fear after sharing in the beauty of these moments. I can only dream of the experiences now and know they were not of this world. They were supernatural statements of a world much more splendid and amazing than this one.

Commentary- When we are young, we live our whole lives thinking that death is clear out there, far away from us. As we grow, being “old” becomes somewhat relative.

But as we come closer to the end of our lives, whether faced with an illness or old age, many don’t know what to expect as we near the mysterious door that we are told, opens before us.

When one is about to pass, it’s not uncommon for that one who is being gently lifted from this Earthly vibration to begin to experience these heavenly things of which Marijo speaks.

For us on the outside, it can look like something other than it actually is. One might observe their loved one staring off into space, trying to make out something with their eyes as their new home slowly begins to materialize. Sometimes, there is some talking to unseen beings or even exhibiting a careful listening to something from beyond.

What is so different about this case is that Marijo and her mother had the amazing gift of being privy to Joseph’s transition. Although at first, even one of these miraculous experiences would be enough. However, added together they gave Marijo a full understanding of what was occurring, specifically that Joseph, her younger brother, would be in great hands as he left his weary body to cross over.

Marijo and her mother experienced some pieces of Heaven. You know when it happens because you can’t explain it or describe it. As Marijo recalls, they were speechless and even with speech, there were no words to adequately describe their experience.

In the garden, Marijo heard the beautiful music appear to grow louder. This was to gently prepare her for what was soon to come. The light spread across the room was to comfort those therein. Lastly, the dragonflies (a spiritual symbol of an angel) were sent to say, “I made it into the beautiful light and now I’m free to fly.!” Btw, because of predators it is unusual to see dragonflies flying around in the dark unless they absolutely have to. Dragonflies are known to hide from predators at night and fly by day.

For Marijo and her mother, through these shared-death experiences, they don’t have to wonder if Joseph is okay and has made it to his destination in the light. They know he has.

Moving forward
Of course, knowing this, we are happy for our loved ones. Even so, we do still miss them in our physical world. It takes something to walk the path of the grief process. It is winding with ups and downs. We will feel a plethora of emotions as we go forth.

Photo credit: Jill Wellington of Pixabay

But as we go forth grieving our loss, please remember that every step forward in this process, is one step closer to reuniting with them again. And, when we do meet again, imagine what joy there will be.

For more shared-death experiences, read here.

Communication with our Departed

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When Carol wonders if the conversations she is having in her head with her departed son, Kyle, are real… she puts it to the test.

Carol writes:
My son, Kyle, passed in May of 2020 at the age of 40 from an accidental overdose. I began having “conversations” in my mind with him a few months later. I was skeptical though, and wondered if it weren’t just my wishful thinking.

So one night I said to him: “Kyle, if it’s really you, send me a different sign right now – that will make me laugh and will be unmistakably you!” No more than a second later, my phone dinged – it was a text from the next door neighbor.

Now, first of all, I never get texts from her – let alone at 10PM! Second, she had been a very nasty neighbor. Kyle, his dad, and I used to joke about misfortune befalling her, e.g. “I hope her tree blows down”, I hope her roof leaks” etc. We would never actually do anything but we did joke about it a lot.

So here’s her text: “I just wanted to let you know someone let their dog poop on the sidewalk in front of your house and I just stepped in it and ruined my brand new running shoes!”

I just shook my head, looked up to the ceiling and said “Bingo, Kyle! You crushed it baby!” Just another example of spirits using other people to get a message to you!

Commentary- When our loved one passes away, it doesn’t mean our relationship with them goes away too. On the contrary, although things are much different now and there are a lot of adjustments that need to be made, our relationship still exists and continues.

When telling one of my college teachers about not being able to talk with my mom because she died when I was 13, he said, “She can hear you better than ever now.” I’ve often thought about that throughout the years. Although it made a certain amount of sense, could it be true?

It wasn’t until after Christian passed that I realized this was so. After many times of asking him for help and what not… and him responding accordingly, I had no doubt left how well our departed loved ones can hear us. Over the years of running GriefandMourning.com, I’ve heard it several times from others as well.

The Filters of Communication

Communication is a two way street Photo Credit: Alexas_Fotos

Normally, when you think about communication in the physical world, you think about at least two people taking turns speaking and listening. Of course, one would hope that they are speaking to each other, instead of at each other. Unfortunately, many times, it is our own filters we speak and listen through. Knowing that our own interpretation of what is actually being said is a huge part of that filter, it’s a wonder we have any successful communication to speak of.

The Capacity to Hear

There is another thing to consider. It is the capacity to actually hear what is being said. This might look like-

Looking like we are hearing but blocking something we perceive to be psychologically or emotionally threatening.
Perhaps our physical hearing is not so good anymore. Many people with hearing loss pretend to understand what has been said to avoid having to repeatedly ask.
Or maybe it’s a language barrier of some sort.

As you can see, there are many ways to not hear effectively.

Hearing in a Different Way

Now, let’s talk about Kyle and his mom, Carol. First of all, let me clarify what it means for our departed loved ones to “hear” us. When we think of hearing, we think about a variety of sounds that can be heard and even organized into a pattern so the human brain/ear can make sense of them. But my point is… you need to have human brain/ears to hear that, right?

While Kyle doesn’t hear the same as he used to, he hears much better than before. And now, in a way, so does Carol. Wondering if she was just imagining her conversations with Kyle, she put it to the test. She quickly found out just how well both could hear when Kyle delivered with a hilarious example for his mom to know for sure. She found out that Kyle was close enough to still in communication with her.

If there is any confusion at this point, I will add that there are more ways than one to hear. We are used to the ideal of hearing out of our ears because that is what we use mostly to hear sound. Even in the physical realm we often don’t think about hearing with our other physical senses such as our sight, touch, taste and smell… but we do.

But even more, being a spiritual being in a human body, we can also tap into our spiritual senses. That’s what Kyle and Carol did. Our spiritual senses are far superior to that of our physical ones. Being on this plane though and trying to survive it, we have learned to focus more on physical senses to navigate our day to day physical existence.

Thought Perception

Have you even noticed when people meet up with their departed loved one, whether in a dream state or not? They always notice that the communication they have with that loved one is telepathic. In other words, their mouth didn’t move throughout the whole communication. Some people don’t notice it until it’s pointed out because on a spiritual level we already know that as spirits we communicate like this. To the spiritual part of ourselves that we don’t normally tune into, it is natural. We even use it to silently pray.

Thought perception is a pure form of communication. It is superior to what we have on this earthly plane. It cuts through all the misunderstandings of not knowing what to say or how to say it, of not being able to hear or not wanting to hear it. It breaks through the many types of language barriers that divide us as well as our many interpretations as what is being said moves through our filters. There is so much between us all the time. With pure spiritual perception, there are no more filters, no non-sense, just clear, direct, simple and honest communication.

When communication doesn’t happen…

Of course, there are those times where we ask, even beg for communication with our loved one and it seems to go unheard, even unanswered. I’ve had this experience too. I don’t always understand why this is. When this happens it can make us feel sad and insecure. We may be left wondering, “Why doesn’t it happen for me like that?” It makes no sense and can leave us doubting.

Hang in there though, your relationship did not just end when they left the physical dimension. It continues on. But like I said, and what was demonstrated in this post, it helps to expand beyond the physical senses in whatever way you can. It helps to have a positive attitude and be confident that it will happen eventually.

Honestly, there is no time limit for them to communicate. Sometimes, they communicate in different ways. They communicate through songs, other people, dreams, signs, symbols, just to name a few. It takes listening differently to catch those communications.

Addressing a Misconception

There are those in the after-death communication community who believe our departed loved ones are only with us for a short while after their passing. Then, they leave us by going off somewhere over there. How cruel this belief is. When we need them the most they leave? When we are at the peak of our pain, they are gone? Really? I have found this to be simply untrue.

Where are they going? Where is more important to be than with us, assisting us from beyond? Where is “over there” when it’s really just one big thing and one big ball of consciousness?

It has been reported that a departed loved one can communicate immediately after passing or decades later. The frequency of these communications can be a lot or a little. What I’ve found is that many times we miss communications because either, they aren’t so obvious to us or we are listening for something else to occur. Again. It’s really about the listening. Our listening and how well we listen for them to communicate.

Our loved ones deeply care about us, they hear our thoughts and feel our pain. The want nothing more than for us to heal. Our departed loved ones are with us in ways we can’t explain, don’t understand and could never comprehend at this point. They are aware of us our whole lives until we are reunited. What else would love do? I hope that clears that up.

So next time you think you may be having a conversation in your head with your departed loved one, don’t immediately doubt it and brush it away. Put it to the test as Carol did when she just had to know. When she did… with the old familiarity of Kyle’s sense of humor, she got her answer! It is completely possible that you could get an answer too.

For more after-death communications- https://griefandmourning.com/afterdeath-communication

You’ll Never Walk Alone

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As Linda’s perception shifts, so does her pain level. Scarcity thinking is so common in humans that we barely even notice. Notice though. It makes a difference.

Linda writes:
I have been very blessed to have received several after-death communications of various kinds from my beloved soulmate, Thellis, since he transitioned 2 years ago on this very day.

Three of these after-death communications have been documented on Jade’s website.
Visitations Through the Portal, The Power of Sheer Will and The Medicine that is Hope.

In The Medicine that is Hope, I experienced the appearance of a flock of mourning doves in the dead of winter on a snowy morning. It came at a point in which I was so profoundly despondent. I thought that I surely could not survive his being gone and had asked that he please give me a sign of his presence. I had specifically been asking to see a mourning dove, his favorite bird. I also knew this was ridiculous request to be making in middle of winter in Vermont.

But one cold snowy January morning, when feeling I could not go on much longer in this depressed state and consumed with grief, I was driving out of my neighborhood, and lo and behold, there was not one mourning dove, but a flock of them on side of road. I could not believe my eyes, but I knew he had sent them to me that day, knowing how much pain I was in, hopeless, and missing him so much.

Although many hard times in the grief process were ahead of me still, I felt that there was an internal shift within me that had somewhat given me hope that he had not left me behind – that he was, indeed still with me.

But, in April of this year, a year and 3 months after the doves, I sunk into another abysmal state of mind, crying spells, days once again filled with sadness and longing as strong as in early months following his death. It was a particularly sensitive time of year related to his passing. Easter was here – a time of renewal, rebirth, but also a time reminiscent of the beginning of the end of our time together on this earth.

Things felt unbearable again and I was so shocked to be in this horrible scary place again. I was having difficulty functioning, going to work, just barely getting through the day. I had a favorite picture of him, one taken when he was very young, before we ever met. This picture was one of my favorites. He had a beautiful smile and a way in which his eyes smiled, too. In this picture, there was just the very slightest hint of that — not the full smile so common with him.

This picture was on my dresser in my bedroom, along with other mementos related to him. One day, I looked over at this picture through my tears as I had looked at it everyday for past 2 years, and something seemed different about the picture. It was somehow slightly different and I kept looking, trying to figure it out.

Then, I realized that this picture looked different because not only was he “looking” at me from this picture, but the smile was different; it was more pronounced. It was wider. I feared I was crazy, even hallucinating. I thought, perhaps it was just the lighting in the room, maybe the particular angle of the picture. So, I moved the picture around, sat it in a different location.

But, still, the look out of his eyes was warm and real. I was not just looking at a picture of him, but he was looking back at me. This could not be, I thought. Perhaps my grief is making me imagine or see things that are not really there.

However, since that day, 3 months later, it is still occurring on occasion. It is not every time I look at the picture, but it often still happens. I now believe that he knew the pain I was in and he came to tell me and show me that he had not gone anywhere —- that he was still with me and that things are ok, and that I am ok and will be ok.

Before this happened, I would sometimes just feel his presence once in awhile, whether there was a sign or not, and I would feel our strong connection. But much of the time, I would not feel his presence and feel that I had lost that connection to him. This is the loneliest feeling in the world.

But since that day in April, I have not felt that void, that feeling that he is “gone” or that I am ever alone. He used to tell me to remember the song, “You’ll never walk alone” and not to ever forget it. Now, I know it’s true — he walks with me always until we meet again. Just as I recently read somewhere — “There is no goodbye – just a period of time until we say ‘hello’ again.”

Commentary- Often, we think our departed loved ones are somewhere “out there”, “over there” and, if you really think about it, it’s anywhere but here with us. This thought makes us sad.

It is the thinking that we are now, somehow, separated by death’s door. How final it seems. Any beliefs we might have of reuniting in an afterlife is of little comfort in these moments of grief. How horrific are these thoughts that cause us so much pain? How lonely to be separated in this fashion. Where is the compassion in it?

It would seem that only a cruel God would allow us to love someone so deeply, our companions who bravely walk with us through this already challenging world, only to have them ripped away from us. No, whatever intelligent force is out there, God, the Universe, Higher Self or whatever you may call it or not, it is not cruel. Perhaps there is something we are missing.

What gives us an extraordinary amount of pain are our thoughts. At a time like death, our worst fears surface as we try to cope and navigate the new horrifying reality that is now our life. Sometimes death is expected, while other times death catches us off guard. That is the worst, with no time to prepare or say our goodbyes. These tragedies of loss are hard enough to fathom, however, when you really look at it, the kind of thinking that does the most damage is scarcity thinking.

Thoughts of scarcity include,

“My loved one is gone now.” (No more)
“They’ve been taken away.” (Removed)
“They are out there, over there, somewhere else but here.” (Limited to a location)
“We are separated now.” (Not enough)
“I’m all alone now.” (No one left)
“I should/shouldn’t have done/said this or that (Fell short)
“My life is finished.” (It’s over now)
“They left me.” (Not worth staying for)

Beliefs of lack, limitation, inadequacy and/or all things finite are all tied to scarcity thinking. Of course, being that we live in the world of opposites and the death of a loved one is generally considered a “bad” thing, we are already in a dark place when we begin to think about how to process our thoughts and feelings. We feel like we’ve experienced a loss, a disconnect. This is human nature. Although it’s horrifying, we tend to go there first when it’s the most painful thing we could do.

Of course, there is something we can do in our grief process when we can. Somehow, if we can become conscious of this dark and limited way of thinking, at some point in our despair, we might just catch a glimpse of the possibility that we can shift our way of thinking into something more useful. If even a little at a time. It is possible to come out of the darkness a little more often and for longer periods of time. With the awareness of the impact that scarcity thinking has on our state of mind, perhaps we can recognize it as unhelpful to our healing and well-being in every way.

You see how Linda, with some after-death communications, became more and more aware of this lighter consciousness. She also became more grateful, which is a response to recognizing the abundance in her life. She mentions an internal shift. This was an actual shift in her thinking. And, as she did shift, she felt more and more connected to her Beloved. Now, he even looks and smiles at her from his picture from time to time. This is a thing, by the way, it’s more on the rarer side but it does happen.

So no. It’s not God, the Universe, Higher Self or whatever else you want to call it or not, being cruel. In fact, most, if not all of our pain comes from our own thinking that involves scarcity, whether it’s lack, limitation, inadequacy and/or all things finite. The compassion I asked about? That needs to come from us, toward our smallest, most unaware self that suffers without end.

Maybe our departed loved ones are not “out or over there” at all. Maybe they are “in and over here.” Some say, “The Kingdom of Heaven is within.” Maybe we never actually thought that was real? Literal or metaphorical… What if it is?

In the end, what has been missing is the thinking that no matter what happens with those we love, we are always connected. We are connected in life and in death… because it is all the same infinite and abundant life. We just have to have these thoughts more often as it truly creates a shift in consciousness and an evolution in thinking that could bring us greater peace, healing and comfort. And, we need to be compassionate with ourselves.

In the song of hope that Linda mentioned earlier in this post, we are reminded once again, that despite our best stab at the scarcity of dark and depressing thoughts as a knee-jerk reaction to death, loss and pain, “We’ll never walk alone.” Maybe that means never.

May the light of consciousness shine the way for you always. May you experience abundance and take compassion on yourself.

Light of Consciousness Photo credit- Geralt

A Heartfelt Plea for Unity

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Lisa’s beloved mother, Mimi, once visited her daughter in a mind-blowing after-death communication. Then came, Mimi’s next visit.

Lisa wrote:
“Years ago after my mother passed, you posted the extraordinary after-death communication I had with my mother, called, Mimi’s Heaven. It really rocked my world back then. Well, recently, my mother came back to me in a visitation dream that was even more profound. I’m excited to share it.”

“As with my last experience with my mother, again, she took me through time and space, stopping briefly at nebulas and star clusters to view their glory. This time she reaffirmed to me that God had created all living things, all creatures big and small.”

“However, she added even more. Plants, animals and humans are not the only things God created, but even other beings as well. My mother showed me that there are many planets that have intelligent life. Some of them, even living underground on these different planets. This is why, those looking, may not see obvious signs of life.”

“However, she told me that there is so much more than we can ever imagine. These beings she spoke of are empathetic and are very curious about our people. They, as a community can no longer reproduce. They come to our earth and sometimes extract DNA from women to use to help repopulate their beings. They are peaceful and want us to know that we must protect nature and also, nurture our children with more love and focus on our earth rather than material things.”

“My mother also told me that some of these beings live deep in our oceans and also in Antarctica under the ice underground. When they first arrived at Antarctica, it was not covered in ice. The earth had turned on its axis and it changed our planet millions of years ago.”

“She told me that early man was visited by them to help them build things. These early men worshiped them as Gods like we see in Egypt with the pyramids and the Mayan culture of early man. You can look back and trace evidence of them worshipping them because they gave them knowledge to continue to grow.”

“In ancient times, people lived in small groups or tribes.They all related to one another as a part of themselves, so they were close-knit communities. Their energy to be one people was strong. As a group they could work wonders because of that unity. They were humble people and sought for light, not darkness, for unity, not division. They were stronger together than divided. They prayed and practiced their faith in a higher power to guide them.”

“On a personal level, in my dreams, I’ve seen many different species of intelligent beings that wish humans could be more loving and positive in our spiritual sense. All throughout the Universe there are pulse’s of energy everywhere. Every living thing has, and is energy. What holds us back from our greatest potential is the lack of positive energy within ourselves and how we, as individuals, or as a whole, treat one another.”

“God created all creatures and that everything is connected. What we do with our planet affects all others.”

Commentary- Lisa’s recent after-death communication, as well as her insight, offers a very important message to consider in these troubled times. After thinking about the messages in Lisa’s experience, I offer some thoughts on the how’s and why’s for our division, and how we, as bridge builders, can make a personal difference for good in our world. Thank you for your consideration.

The Division

Today, with so many of us living on this increasingly crowded planet and vying for its resources, it can be easy to forget about the whole. What I mean is the “whole tribe” of our fellow beings. Fear has run rampant as we separate into our own groups against those “others” we perceive as our enemies.

Our world has become larger than that one united tribe that existed long ago. It’s become more diverse, complicated, chaotic and therefore; threatening on one level or another to those who fear some sort of extinction. Because of this threat, consciously or not, humans have divided themselves into distinct categories according to their own worldview, and with their distain, prepare for various forms of battle against their own human kind- no holds barred.

A Room With a View

A singular View : Image by Franz26, Pixabay

While each of us are the room in this metaphor, it’s important to realize that the view from the window in that room is very fixed, as the window is only in one location and sees in one direction. We can’t see around, behind, on top, or below what we are looking at. All we see is just our singular point of view. Unfortunately, this very specific and misleading view, tends to become “the truth” of our worldview, which can be very limiting and grossly inaccurate.

The Battle for Survival

Having a narrow point of view provides a strong foundation for intolerance and impatience for those “others” who are perceived as “not our tribe.” Perhaps they even think differently than us, and that’s the problem.

Narrow mindedness appears to stem from a belief in scarcity. Perhaps a human’s greatest fear is that there is not enough of something. Specifically, “there is not enough for me, so I must take as much as I can get, no matter the cost.” A fear of not surviving in some way, with thoughts and feelings of insecurity, inadequacy and instability continually feed the beast. With the same narrow way of thinking and feeling, the cycle perpetuates and doubles down to become worse.

Us Versus Them Mentality

Far from just small tribes, a very dangerous “us versus them” mentality has taken hold all over the world. Some current examples of this can be found in issues of ethnicity, religious beliefs, government politics and other ideology. Then… there are all our manufactured lies that people adopt as weapons of war against those not like them and who have now become their enemies. The hatred is palpable. Is this of God?

Physical, spiritual and psychological scarcity runs rampant on our planet as individuals perceive their very survival is in jeopardy. Even if it’s actually not, it is in some heads. We are so caught up in our own internal wars of our thoughts and feelings, fueled by our singular viewpoint and worldview, that we forget that in some way… what is done to one is done to the rest. That includes all of us.

Coming from a Christian background, I don’t know whatever happened to the Golden Rule in the Gospel of Matthew 7:12, “In everything, do to others as you would have them do to you” but it no longer seems to be a moral rule guiding our world. Perhaps we have become wicked in the rightness of our blindness.

The Need to be Right or Better Than

That poor ego that would destroy everything and itself to be right, superior and in power, doesn’t make much sense but it’s happening all around us. Much of our world is very sick, intoxicated by the lure of raw power, control and cruelty, for cruelty’s sake. It’s done in the name of politics, money, power and dare I say… religion as well.

For example, there are those people of faith who believe that some people are so different than them, and therefore, beneath them, then go on to pretend we don’t all share the same Creator. That we are not of the same creation? It doesn’t make sense to me. When will we go back to the Golden Rule? This darkness and destruction is removing us from what matters most- our planet, creatures big and small, our lives and our whole human tribe.

There is such a drive to be ‘right” about things, even made up things., just to be right and therefore, superior to others. But, where does that get us? Constantly, we get in our own way. When will we ever see? Together we are stronger and better. Divided we fall apart. Would good divide us? No, but evil would.

The Good News about a Viewpoint

The thing to realize about a viewpoint is that, with awareness, and having the desire to come from a good and open space from which to look, a singular viewpoint has the possibility of expanding into many viewpoints. That expansion becomes the possibility of compassion, mercy and patience. Another thing to know is that, a fixed viewpoint has the possibility to become flexible. Flexibility will lay a space for tolerance, peace and unity. It is also a path to our survival. I mean, if one is willing, of course.

Some Final Thoughts

Our world depends on us to find our way through the darkness and confusion of the now. We live in troubled times. Through love and compassion we must build bridges not walls. If we are to survive as a species, we must choose peace and faith over destruction and fear. It serves the individual to take care of the whole tribe.

Are we no longer our “brother’s keeper?” We must take care of each other and our planet. The way to unity is through cooperation and by practicing love, patience and peace. It is a practice, that’s for sure. But, it’s an honorable and worthy way to live one’s life.

Even if it’s a small bridge, it’s a bridge nonetheless.

Bridge : Image Andibreit on Pixabay

A Spiritual Intervention

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In a near-death experience, an impending death is interrupted when Ryan’s deceased Grandpa comes in an after-death communication, for the ultimate intervention.

Ryan’s experience

Since the age of 13, Ryan had used some sort of drug or another. He used them for fun or as an escape. By the time he was 33 years old, he had been through drug rehab five times. However, right before having one of the most life-altering experiences one could ever have, Ryan was into one of the most addictive drugs, Heroin.

Ryan lived with his girlfriend and their two small children in his mother’s house. One day, when Ryan’s girlfriend and children were gone visiting relatives and his mom was out of town, Ryan had a profound experience.

Having been overworked, stressed and overwhelmed by life at the time, Ryan felt the need to escape for a while. Without fear of getting caught, the opportunity was there. The moment was right and he was going to seize it… just one more time.

Craving the sense of relief that only heroin could provide at the time, after doing some gaming, Ryan shot up and zoned out.

As Ryan entered this expected world of bliss, Ryan was met by his Grandpa… his mother’s father. He was a good man who Ryan, as a child, loved and admired. He was a positive influence and an active part of Ryan’s young life. Then, when Ryan was 8 years old, Grandpa passed away, leaving Ryan to miss him dearly.

In their spiritual reunion together, Grandpa talked to Ryan about many things. Things that he still can’t recall to this day, but knows are embedded in his psyche. But what Ryan could remember… is the message of how important it was for him to stay alive in this realm. Grandpa told him that his family needed him and depended on him to get this right. Ryan was told that his time on Earth was not yet finished and that he still had important things to do before he could come back to his heavenly home.

When Ryan returned from his visit with his Grandpa, he was struggling to breathe as he was gasping for air. Ryan says this is the way many heroin users die. They just stop breathing and never wake up in this life again.

What Ryan’s story tells me is that Ryan was going to be one of those people who never woke up. He would have been found by his family and their pain would have been devastating. Their lives would have never been the same.

Grandpa intervened as Ryan was playing with fire and may not have realized the grave danger he was in. This was a wake up call for Ryan. In this intervention, Ryan learned that he was needed in the world, that he had a purpose to fulfill. It was not yet time to drift off into the great slumber that leads us away from this realm and into the next.

With Grandpa’s intervention and basically, having been startled and shaken back to life, Ryan would go through his drug detox over the next week. His family would feel some mix of betrayal, anger, gratitude, love and concern for Ryan. However, as Ryan made it through one week of pure hell, as he would call it, things would begin to shift in his life.

Somewhere between Ryan’s escape, the intervention with Grandpa, then back to his loved ones, something profound occurred. Whatever was said in that pivotal conversation with his Grandpa was profoundly life-altering. Ryan, an already good soul, was converted furthermore into the man he would become along the path of his spiritual progression.

Almost 4 years later, Ryan shares with me his story. His life has been transformed immensely. Remarkably, he no longer has the urge to use. His family is everything to him. I used the word “converted” to describe his progress, which means a change in function, because he has successfully re-routed his direction. Ryan says he now sees his world in color and meaning, where before it was not so sharp and bright, just dull. This is common for near-death experiencers, as life for them often takes on a new dimension as a new sense of purpose is realized.

Something happened in Ryan’s soul that day. Was he shown his full life? Did Grandpa reveal to Ryan his ultimate purpose? Whatever it was, Ryan remembered something important enough to get back on track with his life. Perhaps getting off track was even a part of his track too. Whatever it was, it made the difference between Ryan being here or not, as he was quickly on his way out on that day, it was just a matter of one breath.

Although you could say that Ryan had an after-death communication, you could say it was a near-death experience as well. One day, probably in this lifetime, Ryan may begin to remember even more parts of his Grandpa’s message. He says he gets bits and pieces even now. Often, the information given is so much that it is revealed on a need to know basis. When it is the right time, Ryan will comprehend more of the content, its meaning and get a fuller picture.

A heavenly intervention is an approach designed by heavenly beings to change someone’s mind or trajectory. It can influence will through necessary information or cause one to remember something that they have long since forgotten, something that would make a big difference for them if they were to act. In other words, encouraging and inspiring someone’s will to make a choice that gets them back on track. In this case, it was not Ryan’s time to go. Nevertheless, he might have died had he not used his will to choose to live. Grandpa’s job was to influence and be persuasive. Ryan’s job was to chose his life through sheer will, and bring himself back. We are glad that he did.

What Ryan experienced that day was a miracle on so many levels. Here are just a few.

Ryan’s saw his Grandpa again
He received his message and was likely shown his life and purpose
Ryan’s life was saved when all was lost
Something in Ryan was so altered that he never looked back
Ryan knows for a fact now that there is more than just this life

What Ryan can be sure of is this- His Grandpa’s intervention showed him that he is in great hands with his Grandpa’s love shining upon him. Although out of sight, even for many years, Ryan can still be sure that his Grandpa watches out for him with great care.

Heaven- Gerd Altmann / Pixabay

Adjusting to a Spiritual Relationship

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Sometime after Kenneth’s husband, Jon, passes away, Kenneth realizes they can still hang out at times.

Kenneth writes:
“My husband, Jon, passed away in June of 2016. I had a very hard with handling him not being here in the physical.”

“It’s been over five years now. I had to realize that just because he was gone, it didn’t mean we couldn’t see each other. To this day, he often communicates with me in my dreams. That is our new way of being with each other. When he is in my dreams we are all over the place- places I don’t know and people I don’t know.”

Angel: Pixabay-The Digital Artist

“One dream, I was looking into another room from where I was. As I walked closer toward that room, I could feel an arm as I walked into the room, it was Jon. I paused just looking at him. There was a mysterious but familiar lady with him to the side. She has been around me since I was a child. She also appeared to me on the day that Jon died.”

“When I saw him again, I asked him if I could hug him, to which Jon said, “Yes.” Our hug felt like he was with me in the physical. It felt so real and so good. Then, he was gone.”

“After I wake up from these events, I thank him for hanging out with me and hope that we can hang out again soon. I don’t always remember the messages he tells me, and sometimes it could be months later when I understand what he was telling me. For example, right before Covid-19 broke out, Jon told me that life was going to get really bad for awhile until it would get better. At the time, I didn’t understand. Now, I do.”

Commentary- Adjusting to the new non-physical relationship of a departed loved one can be challenging. For some, even to be able to make that leap in their own thinking, that a continuing relationship might even be possible, could prove difficult and stop them in their tracks. For others, “if there’s a will, there’s a way.” Some of them go forth to find it.

The Fragility of Life

Our whole experience in this world is mostly focused on the physicality of people, places and things in this realm. After one’s passing, although, the places and things still remain, it comes as quite a shock when those same people who were so real to us, disappear from our physical realm. Some might say, “I was just with them and now they are gone. I just don’t believe it.” The fragility of one’s life is difficult for our brains to reconcile, hence the denial phase of the grief process.

The experience of our physical lives seems very permanent until a beloved is snatched up by the unseen that we call death. It is only then, that we realize with such impact that impermanence was there all along. The strong image of a life in this world and the people in it turned out to be so precarious all along, and we didn’t even realize it. We didn’t plan for it to happen as soon as it always does. We had no say, and it hurts to think something so precious could ever be taken away with such ease and disregard.

Our Earthly Perception

Many people live with unquestioned beliefs that include the thinking that, “people only die when they are old and gray.” “The young have the rest of their lives to live.” Or, there is such a thing as a “fairytale ending” in this life and that we “live happily ever after” in it. For sure, death would not dare to interrupt our bliss. Right? Unfortunately, as many of us now know firsthand, there are no set rules about how long we are able to stay in this world. Sometimes it seems like there is no rhyme or reason to one’s timely death either.

Is it a possibility to continue a relationship with a departed loved one?

When we experience the passing of our loved one, we may become resigned and cynical that our beloved relationship could ever continue outside a physical context. After all, isn’t it impossible? Although our brains may say it’s impossible, our hearts want what they want and some have found a way to bridge the two worlds together.

If so, how do you do it?

Reaching between worlds Pixabay:Geralt

Kenneth has discovered his dreams as a vehicle for being together again with his beloved, Jon. In dreams, Kenneth is reassured that Jon is accessible and still loves him. Kenneth has opportunities to communicate, touch and be with Jon in this way. This experience informs Kenneth that their love is still alive as their relationship continues on, even until this day.

Other Mediums

Others have learned to be together at times through the medium of meditation, hypnosis, prayer and out of body experiences. Some use toning, music, walks in nature, talking to them and listening as well as sheer faith and trust that a connection will happen. This will lead to a sure knowledge that they are always accessible to you, and, of course, any relaxation serves as a wonderful space of nothingness to clear the path for connection. Nothingness is an amazing state in which to discover something-ness…something that’s magnificent.

The Beauty of Simplicity

There are many simple ways to connect. Our problem is mainly that we make it too hard and in our brains, we have decided it to be impossible. Is it? It’s not. We overthink things instead of allowing them to happen. Having some faith and trust in the power of love is simple and goes a long way.

I can think of no big dance you have to do, no chant, nothing loud or complicated. There is nothing to learn if you don’t want to. It’s simple. Let it be simple. Practice grace.

Understanding Balance in the Physical/Spiritual Adjustment

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting that you zone out of this life and the people in it, in order to chase the one in the next life. That would be irresponsible and unhealthy. Although that may be what you want in your grief, that serves no one, but you may still try to do it. That can be part of your grief process, too.

An important part of healing grief is to eventually be able to accept your loved one’s passing in a healthy way. It is also important to realize that just because you no longer see your departed loved one in the way you once did, it doesn’t mean they are no longer with you. These two things can go hand in hand.

After Christian died, in my grief, I remember being told so clearly, “Your relationship has not gone away. It’s just gone deeper.” I knew from that message that this was actually a promising message as “deeper” seemed much more comforting than “gone.”

I realized that I would have to make some adjustments in my thinking of what is possible. It was now our new spiritual relationship. I realized I would have to exercise my faith in the unseen until I could see this possibility clearly for my seIf.

I saw this as an opportunity to develop my spirituality more substantially, more completely to better access his world and he, mine. At first, I did it with faith as my guide. And now, knowing has overtaken that faith. There is nothing that could ever convince me that my own experiences with him after his death, were/are not real. They are more real to me than ever now.

The Takeaway

It is possible to adjust to the non-physical relationship of a departed loved one. Of course, your relationship won’t be exactly the same as it was in the physical, we need to be reasonable. Our relationships will still be there in a spiritual sense… which are just a more stealthy version of connection.
Like with Kenneth’s gradual realization that a continued spiritual relationship with Jon was possible, open your mind to the miracle that this could be so. Just because it comes time for one to pass on, it doesn’t mean the relationship is gone or that love dies in the process. In Kenneth’s adjusted thinking about life and death and all that it means about his relationship and connection with Jon, he has found a way for them to be together at times. I’d say that’s pretty special.
Let the spiritual connection with your departed loved one be simple, in other words, likely to happen. All of this happening takes place in the territory of what and how you think of it. You don’t need to overthink it, make it hard or even do anything at all. Allow it to come in its own time with ease.
Have faith. You may not realize the continued connection at first, but once you do, faith will no longer be a requirement as you will know for yourself that it is possible, in whatever way that it is.
Most importantly, trust in your loved one and in the love you shared and still continue to share. Without giving up and becoming resigned and cynical to the sad thinking of “that’s it, now our relationship is gone.” Instead, realize one of life’s greatest possibilities that your relationship has just gone deeper. Trust that sooner or later, love will find a way. It will. It’s never too late to realize what Kenneth did.

For more posts about Kenneth’s experiences with Jon, please read, A Place of Nothingness and Thought Perception

Love will find a way Pixabay:jplenio

Hugging a Departed Loved One

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After Jan repeatedly asked her departed mother for a hug, her heart’s desire is realized. Twice!

The Twilight Bridge

Jan writes:
“I had a couple of “dreams” again of my mom, but I am not sure if it was a regular dream or a “twilight bridge” dream. What I wrote to you before in “The Twilight Bridge” post were definitely not dreams. That much was obvious.”

“Now, I will try and explain my question to you. I had said out loud for many weeks that I wanted to hug mom. Then, I had two different dreams. Both were in the same setting, it seemed outside somewhere, not here in the house. It was like I drifted into an outdoor area where my mom was socializing with some people. She noticed me, smiled and greeted me with these people around her. It seemed like she was by a car. In trying to make sense of it all, I thought we were going on one of our short trips for the weekend or maybe we were there already.”

“Although there were a few other people with her, I could not see faces as they were more like shadows. My mom seemed much brighter, easy to see I mean, and very close. I was right there with her and she seemed happy, smiling, enjoying chatting with people. Relatives? I do not know but that was really all there was to it. Then, I must have woken up.”

“The next time I had this dream, it was the exact same place…. same people and situation, except my mom’s light around her seemed brighter and she was in color while everything else was a darker colorless shade. My mom was very clear. She had her pink fuzzy bathrobe on- she definitely stood out among the other shadows of people there. I went to her and hugged her. She never said anything to me but she was smiling and seemed happy. Then, I must have woken up.”

“When I woke that morning, I remembered it clearly and the feeling of hugging and being freshly hugged still lingered. I mean, could have been my imagination or not, but somehow, I felt like I had hugged her close. I had felt her, I had hugged her for real.”

“Anyway, this may not be anything… maybe just a wishful dream as it was outside the house in a different setting. So I have been thinking it was just a dream. It did not last long. Nothing happened really except I met my mom for a short time and felt her presence plus she was smiling (which I am glad of)”.

“So, I guess sometimes it may be hard to distinguish a dream from something else?”

Commentary- Because of the spiritual visitation experience spectrum that spans anywhere from ‘nuanced” to ‘blow your socks off’ obvious, it can be hard to distinguish a dream from a visitation, although this was clearly a visitation… except it was Jan that was doing the visiting.

Space, Place or State of Mind?

While “The Twilight Bridge” is considered a neutral meeting “place” or “space” between this realm and the next realm, where we sometimes go to meet our loved ones, “The Twilight Bridge” is also experienced as a state of mind or place of spirit and not necessarily an actual place. But having said this, it could also be experienced as an actual place. What was different about this experience from Jan’s experience at “The Twilight Bridge” is that Jan didn’t meet her mother at the bridge, she went over the bridge to where her mom was in another realm.

Entering another realm Pixabay: Jplenio

What makes this so?

The fact that Jan felt herself drifting (a thing of the spirit) into another space, an outdoor space, which represents somewhere other than where Jan’s life normally play out. The outdoor setting Jan describes is a metaphor for… another location besides here at my house… or where I live in this Earthly realm.

Jan’s mom was seen thriving in her new community of people, smiling, happy and certainly aware because she saw Jan, as if she was waiting for her to visit. She was. The car represents travel, reminding Jan of their prior weekend trips, as well as, pointing to, that this is a possibility of a new way to spend time together for short trips now.

Jan notices how much clearer and even brighter in the second visitation that her mother appeared compared to those around her. The explanation here is that the other people around her were not considered the focal point, her mother was being that Jan asked to see and hug her mom again. The other people in the experience, sort of seen/not seen are clearly not the most important take away, although it does point to her newfound acclimation, happiness and a community that she enjoys in her current realm.

Having the same dream twice is sort of like saying to Jan, “If you don’t believe I heard you about seeing me to get a hug, I did. To prove it, here is the second dream with even more certainty, clarity and brighter colors! I’m at home here. I’m even wearing my bright pink bathrobe. You will recognize me immediately, can’t miss me!” In other words, she heard Jan loud and clear.

Why we doubt, dismiss and discount spiritual visitations

It’s really common to dismiss a spiritual visitation as an ordinary dream since it doesn’t always make perfect sense. Sometimes it is abstract or unclear. Often, we are afraid to believe our experience because… what if it were just our imagination and not really so?

We don’t want to be the fool. We don’t want to get our hopes up only to be let down again, which would only add to our hurt of seeming to live a life alone without them now.

However, why doubt, dismiss and discount first when having these experiences, then, have to be convinced of their validity? Given that we can react the way we want (sometimes), why not look and listen to your experience of what it is trying to tell you? Why not look and listen for the possibility of spiritual visitations/after-death communications, signs and messages from beyond?

These spiritual communications are so precious but they are fragile and fleeting. We must believe these special gifts from heaven are completely possible and probable and to see it as such. We must gather these seeds of faith and nurture them and perhaps they will grow into profoundly meaningful experiences that will tide us over throughout our lives.

So what if we don’t understand everything or it’s abstract and unclear? So what if we make a fool of ourselves but we see special spiritual things that physical eyes can’t or won’t see? And, so what if we get our hopes up? Take the hopeful message from the visitation and use it for comfort.

The Takeaway

There is a lot that happened in Jan’s experience with her mother. There is a lot of information to glean from it for Jan to hold as precious in her heart, mind and soul. But perhaps, most importantly… Jan’s heartfelt desire to hug her mom again was heard and realized. A hug that lingers is a real hug that follows us back over the bridge to this plane of existence. Jan got to hug her mom again! Yes, it was a real hug, Jan!

Love survives and thrives beyond the grave. Your mother still lives, and loves you… and when the time is right, you will reunite together in a way that brings you both the greatest joy, leaving all sadness behind.

For more after-death communications click here.

Another realm- Pixabay: Thomas Skirde

Visitations Through the Portal

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One night last Christmas time, while making her rounds in the hospital, Linda notices something very interesting in the hospital safety mirror.

Linda writes:
“This past December of 2020, marked 3 months since the transitioning from this earthly realm of the only man I ever truly deeply loved since I was 25 years old. Due to circumstances in each of our lives we could not be together, but we share a beautiful daughter, and love between us never ended and never will.”

“I was really struggling and in so much sorrow and pain. And although I was so very blessed as to receive some very special signs/communication from him, I just could not seem to find at times, my way out of that deep dark place of loss.”

Safety Mirror at hospital

“I am a nurse on an inpatient mental health unit and I work night shift, which entails making 15 minute checks on each patient all through the night for safety. There are 2 curved mirrors in the hallway which are there to increase range of view in hallway, also for safety’s sake. I have worked here for 7 years, so you can imagine how many times I have passed those mirrors, seeing the usual reflection of the surroundings and myself as I pass by.”

“However, this past December, during the week after Christmas, when I passed by there, something was so different that it caught my attention. I saw what looked like a dull whitish/grayish blurred image of a figure dancing around. The lights are dimmed at night in hallways to promote better sleep for the patients. So mirror images are darker at night. But there was definite movement that evening. Then, as I kept passing it during the night, and subsequent nights, there was also an image of twinkling lights in a shape of a Christmas tree.”

Alcove

“I was sure my grief had now literally driven me crazy and I was hallucinating. Over the next few weeks, the images continued of a figure dancing around and more lights – sometimes, beams or little balls of light, sometimes glitter and sparkles and couple of times in shape of a little lasso. In the mirror, they appear behind, around and with me in the dark alcove. They were occasionally shooting out of the reflected image in mirror into the hallway floor and wall. ”

“I did not tell anyone at first, then decided, of course, I must tell Jade. She reassured me that it was not insanity. I did not see this anywhere else. I did not at first associate this with my Beloved because it seemed too fanciful and he was not a sparkle and glitter type of guy who would be dancing around shooting balls of light! But, more recently, when I began to go through a particularly rough patch of longing and despondency at Easter (which held significance for us), there was an additional feature.”

“When these images appeared reflected in the mirror, sometimes a lot, sometimes a little, in my peripheral vision, there began to be a dark shadow appear, almost like a cloud shape, close beside my face. It was not at all scary, in fact, it felt warm like a little hug.”

“Then, I knew, it was him creating the wondrous light show for my benefit – something to cheer me up, lighten my grief, literally with lights and something fun and frivolous filled with glitter and sparkles that I love so much. And just to be scientific, there is no other source of light in that hallway – no other lighting fixtures or no windows or any other source of light that could be casting reflections of light from any other outside source.”

“Some might say, “Perhaps you have an eye disease/disorder”, but even though such a thing is possible to some extent, it would not be happening only in this setting and it’s not consistent.”

“Before his passing, we would talk each night just before I walked into the hospital and this was one of the most special times when we would talk. I longed for this constantly and although I still long for and miss his voice and those conversations, I know I will most likely be visited by him in this new and special way, and the bond, the love, the support, the relationship goes on forever.”

Commentary- When Linda finally had courage enough to mention to me this unusual, repeated experience that she was having, I recognized the phenomenon right away. I read about it years ago and, being curious, I thought about trying it for myself several times to see what would happen but never did.

Although Linda might have thought, because she was “seeing things” that she was either going crazy, sleep deprived, bereaved or was having an eye issue, the truth is Linda was actually seeing things in and around the mirror. She just happened upon it by accident that night that she noticed.

Throughout history, people of all races and belief systems have used mirrors, glass, steam, smoke, shiny things and still water surfaces as a method in which to catch a glimpse of their loved ones in the afterlife. Like Linda, sometimes it was an accidental discovery and sometimes it was a planned method to get a much needed relief. It just depended on the people and what was known and practiced.

Anyone who has lost a loved one knows that deep-rooted gnawing desire to experience a departed loved one once again. The loss and longing are intense. This desire is at the heart of our love. Many times this desire compels us to attempt to connect in whatever way seems possible whether it be through a Medium or some other way.

Although it might seem unbelievable to some, throughout time, others have gone ahead with what seemed impossible, to try to satisfy this desire.

Some history of this phenomenon

As I was researching this subject, I came upon a 2019 Dissertation, Mirrors as Portals: Image of Mirrors on Ancient Maya Ceramics by Julie Rogers. In her research, she mentions that the Maya believed in mirrors, water surfaces and shiny stones as a way to connect to other spiritual realms. This is even reflected heavily in their Hieroglyphics and ceramics found today. To them, these surfaces were considered to be a window for Spiritual beings to look in on humans. I guess it’s like T.V. for the Gods to watch us.
The Greek’s Necromanteum or Oracles of the Dead, was a well known place full of ritual and preparation performed to be able to go deep within this Greek Temple to connect with departed loved ones. Many found it helpful and healing, even thought others claimed it to be a gimmick.
Dr. Raymond Moody is a famous Medical Doctor and recorder of thousands of near-death experiences, even coining that term, and an Author and Speaker. At one point in his life, Dr. Moody became so fascinated in the ancient Greek tradition of reuniting with the dead, he studied the ancient version of the Necromanteum and came up with his own version for the bereaved to experience at his country home. With a comfortable chair, mirror placed just right, dim lighting and an all day ritual of focusing on their departed loved one, many people were able to go into this modern day Psychomenteum to experience a connection with their loved one. What made this really powerful was that, as a subject participating in this method, the result many people would experience by receiving this manifestation, was profound healing effects. No one was afraid when they entered in and waited for their departed loved ones. The experience seemed very real, comforting and natural to these folks.
Among the many peoples of the Earth for which this was a tradition, some Native American groups I read about had their own methods of breaching the portal from this world into the next. For many peoples, these shiny surfaces, especially that of a mirror was a way to travel into other realms.
Some belief systems use mirrors as symbolism of eternity or a life that has no beginning or no ending and that it’s all just one big eternal life.

Other common examples that these reflective surfaces have been viewed as portals into another realm

I’m sure many have heard the story of Abraham Lincoln, just after election, while looking in the mirror saw two reflections of himself: one looked normal, the other ghostly. While he tried to show his wife this spectacle, which appeared a few other times, she was never around when it happened. This story points to a mirror vision. One that tried to warn him about his impending death.
When someone sends me an image of an indoor orb, I notice that sometimes that orb can be seen as though it entered through an open window or door. Sometimes even a mirror is around. Not every time, but it has given me pause to wonder.
When people leave us to cross over, often, through near-death experiences, we hear that a portal will appear to open up for them to pass through, allowing them access into this different and new realm. Similar to a wormhole this could be like an actual method of transportation to jump dimensions and realms.
Seers can also be seen as looking through the mirror for you, if you can’t… or don’t think you can develop the skills to do so. These people are also known as Mediums. While there are some good and real ones out there, how do you really know which ones? How will you know that they can connect with your loved one? This is why I always encourage people who ask me about getting a Medium, to look into the portal for themselves. It happens all the time.

So what does this have to do with Linda’s experience? Well, I immediately realized that Linda was experiencing this particular shiny surface phenomenon. Although we don’t completely understand how it works. Although it may seem weird or spooky, Linda is neither freaked out or afraid. It was just something she was experiencing. She never got a bad feeling about it, even though she didn’t know how it was possible. It was just Thellis blowing her mind with his gifts.

Linda knows that she was/is not making this up. Have you ever noticed that when a spiritual experience is encountered, that it just happens out of nowhere? Even if you were to go back to recreate it or try to create another one, you can’t. It is either there or it’s not there, no matter how hard you try. My point is… these unexplained spiritual experiences really happen. While you are in awe, you might as well enjoy the wonder of them, right?

Sometimes, Linda is really in the mood to experience her loved one’s light show for her in the mirror… but it doesn’t always happen, no matter how hopeful she is to make it so. This, to her, lets her know that this is happening independently of her. When it does happen, sometimes the activity is light and sometimes dramatic. Sometimes there are more bells and whistles and super sparkly. Sometimes it is bright, sometimes more dim.

Linda has come to realize that this is her dear loved one, Thellis, the love of her life and soulmate, trying to make his presence known while trying to say with the lit Christmas tree, “Merry Christmas!” “Happy Easter and new beginnings!” with all the bright and sparkly things she loves to brighten up her life. “I’m right next to you with the shadow that leaves the portal to be by her side.” And, my favorite, the lasso… hoping to rope her into knowing this is real and all for her. It’s like she gets to watch T.V. at work!

Hey, I’ve written commentaries on spiritual phenomena for a long time now. Nothing surprises me anymore. Plus, it doesn’t hurt that I have experienced many of them for myself. Being an open-minded skeptic, having varied personal experience of these is a necessity for me to know the truth of them but also, to even begin to explain them to others.

As far as after-death communications, some people are visited by their departed loved ones in dreams, some through blinking lights or other electronic methods, some through orbs, birds, flying insects and other animals. Then there are those who actually get a phone call from their loved one, or they see them materialize, or hear their voice out loud or in a song. There are literal signs, messages left (literal and metaphorical) for us to realize in the most obvious places. There is a lot of extraordinary evidence our loved ones give us to let us know they are around. Why couldn’t this visitation happen through a portal in a mirror?

Linda’s description of movement

Linda’s description of what appears in the alcove

Healings From Our Departed

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While Melisa is sick and scared and unsure of what to do, Grandma mysteriously appears and miraculously heals her ailments.

Melisa writes:
“I am trying to make sense of an experience that I had several months ago and am not able to find any similar experiences online and am interested in trying to find out if others have seen the same thing as I have.”

“One night I felt feverish with chills, so I went into my closet and put on a robe that used to be my grandmother’s robe that she gave to me. I went back to bed but was unable to sleep. I began to feel more ill and was so scared that I might die because my heart was beating so fast and I was silently crying. I was on the verge of waking my husband who was sleeping next to me and ask him to take me to the ER.”

“It was right at this point that I saw my grandmother hovering over the foot of my bed in a white flowing gown looking down at me. I then saw a large black shadow appear over my body and I felt it push down on my shoulders. Then suddenly, I was no longer ill or scared and felt completely calm. I then saw a bright light in my left peripheral vision. I looked to the left where there was a golden glowing hummingbird sitting on my husband’s pillow. The golden glow of this mesmerizing hummingbird was so intense that I stared at it for what seemed like several minutes. When I turned my head back to see my grandmother, she was gone and when I looked back to see the hummingbird, it was gone as well.”

“I have only told a select few about my experience because when I mentioned it to a colleague of mine, she told me that I was hallucinating because I must have had a high fever. However, I know that it was real and the few people that I have told, it was to give them hope that we really do live on.”

“I am most interested in finding out if others have seen a similar hummingbird or a shadow that healed them. Thank you for any guidance you can offer.”

Commentary- Because of their special nature, spiritual experiences can sometimes be difficult to make sense of. With this one, there are a few different things going on.

Suffering with worsening chills and fever, Melisa is sick and getting sicker. She even gets to the point of being afraid for her life. She is wide awake, crying and in need of help. At this point, things are so serious, Melisa is even wondering whether she should wake her husband to rush her to the E.R.

Suddenly, as she is snuggly wrapped like a hug in Grandma’s robe, it is no coincidence that Grandma appears at the foot of her bed. She is dressed in a white flowing gown which is typical of how a Guardian Angel may appear, signifying purity. (My hunch is that Grandma is a Guardian Angel to Melisa, watching over her in her times of need. This time was an emergency.)

You’ll notice that Grandma is very much aware of Melisa’s serious condition. Grandma knows that Melisa can see her, and witness the remarkable healing that is taking place that would end in nothing short of miraculous. Melisa was meant to experience this spiritual experience as authentic, as well as who was behind it. Grandma wanted Melisa to know this and all it implies about the amazing possibilities in the spiritual realms.

Although the black shadow could represent something dark, it could also represent something unknown or obscured from one’s view, that drew out Melisa’s sickness from her under Grandma’s watch. Melisa was left calm and well from the experience. There was no fear or illness left behind. Melisa was completely healed from her ordeal. This tells me that this method of healing was a matter of light.

As a spiritual signature left for Melisa from Grandma, a cute glowing golden hummingbird appears in which to mesmerize Melisa. However, if she didn’t before believe in an afterlife, Melisa sure had the proof to believe it now.

Not everyone is going to believe an experience like this without seeing it for oneself. And then… there are those who still doubt the reality of it even though the result was miraculous. It was easy for a co-worker to dismiss this sacred experience as a fever induced hallucination. It’s the physical brain’s first logical conclusion. But, just because you were feverish, it does not necessarily mean you were hallucinating. And what if you were? You can still see spiritual things that are real during hallucinations… maybe even better! And even without a fever, people commonly experience spiritual things they can’t explain. It’s called spiritual vision. It happens.

Hummingbird (Pixabay) Oberhol Ster Venita

About the significance of the hummingbird as after-death communications. Hummingbirds in all forms are a common after-death communication from loved ones who have passed away. They are winged ones who have a high vibrational frequency. Many believe a visit from a hummingbird is a message from a heavenly source, one of healing, hope, peace and comfort that everything will be fine. The glow of the hummingbird seems to double down that this is an extra spiritual experience. The golden glowing hummingbird was Melisa’s grandmother’s calling card as if to say, “Heaven is really amazing… even miraculous beyond all your dreams!”

A Hologram Spirit Visitation? Is That a Thing?

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While Kim peacefully slumbers, her departed husband, Terry, materializes as he literally watches over her while she sleeps.

Kim Writes:
“I read your latest post about ‘The Twilight Bridge.‘ You have no idea how timely this was for me. My experience with seeing Terry, happened just before dawn. I wake up several times nightly, look at the clock, sometimes watch the TV that I usually leave on now for “company” in hopes of keeping my mind occupied, so as not to dwell on my grief.”

“Recently, when I was still asleep, I was lying on my left side when I became aware of a big, blurry object hovering over my head, kind of kitty corner to the right of my face. It was about 12-13 inches away from my face. Still in dream state with my eyes closed, I kept trying to figure out what that “blurry thing” was. It looked like a huge head looking down over me. I kept looking at it when I suddenly realized it looked like my departed husband, Terry’s face!”

“His head looked to be about 12-14 inches wide, at least, and equally as tall. His eyes were closed due to his being over my head and looking downward at me or maybe because his head was hovering above mine and his eyes were looking downward. I kept wishing he would open his eyes to be more recognizable. I just wanted to look into his eyes.”

“His features were not very defined… but somehow I just knew it was Terry. The blurry shape was defined just enough for me to recognize his head shape and vague features. But why on earth was it just his head and why was it so HUGE?”

“It’s so hard for me to describe exactly how he looked, especially because his head was so big and blurry! Nothing else was around him, he did not even have a neck. Reminded me of that gigantic, round head only… projection (sort of a hologram) of The Wizard…from the old original movie, “The Wizard of Oz.”

“He said nothing. In all my after-death communications of him, I have NEVER heard him speak and usually have never had him actually look at me. But I vividly remember, that the moment I thought I recognized that it was indeed, him, my entire body started tingling wildly! I was so happy, I started crying and woke myself up calling out his name.”

“Having had after-death communications of him before and having this interesting reaction, I have come to realize that when I feel this tingling sensation, it IS TERRY verifying the after-death communication, along with his presence. That comforts me beyond belief, but also makes me cry uncontrollably… because I’m so lonesome for him. This coming May 8th he will have been gone for 1 year. It seems like forever… I’m still crying every day. All I have to do is think of Terry and the tears gush.”

“I’ve been wanting to ask, why doesn’t he talk to me?”

Commentary- It was in the mid 1800’s that British Scientist, John Henry Pepper, invented a 2D illusion technique that became very popular and was used for entertainment purposes. In plays, apparitions would materialize on stage with the actor, then would dematerialize, leaving the audience mystified by how this was possible.

The technique required a large glass screen, set at an angle to catch the reflection from a brightly lit actor in an area that was not seen by the audience. The reflection of the glass screen looked eerily like a ghost.

Today, you will recognize this technology if you have ever been to The Haunted Mansion at Disneyland, where the funny looking ghosts appear to ride in the car with you as you pass by a mirror. Also, this same technique has been used in the theater, cinema, amusement parks, tv and concerts.

Hologram: Pixabay

A Hologram is a little different from Pepper’s Ghost, as it is 3 dimensional light field. Hologram means “whole picture.” Hungarian-British physicist, Dennis Gabor was awarded Nobel Prize in Physics in 1971 for his development of the holographic method. Similar to a sound recording, the hologram is a photographic recording of a light field which uses diffraction to reproduce a 3D light field, rather than an image formed by a lens.

Today, Holograms, like the one in the Wizard of Oz that Kim chuckled about, are used as technology in Military Mapping, Information Storage, Medical Training, Fraud and Security and Holographic Art. A deceased musical artist may now attend their own concert in which they perform. And now, we understand even more about this technology and how it is rapidly expanding. It’s all so very amazing!

But, here’s the thing. There was not a group of artists, scientists or holographic technicians in Kim’s bedroom projecting a big-headed Terry, while she slept and experienced a real time occurrence at ‘The Twilight Bridge’ that morning. With the exception of Terry’s head, she was alone when that happened.

Although we don’t always understand the amazing “effects” in which a spirit, for example, can greatly astonish us with materializing or dematerializing, it still happens without our knowledge. And, although we don’t always understand the mechanics through which our departed loved ones send us signs, communicate with us or even touch us, I’m here to tell you that we are smart and advanced in our technology, but… we are mere novices compared to those in the Heavenly realms.

So yes, Kim. It really might have been some sort of heavenly hologram. That might even explain the distortion in size. In Star Wars, Princess Leia appeared unusually small (doll-like) during one of her transmissions to Luke Skywalker, if you remember? So, is a spirit hologram really a thing? Sure, why not? It’s a thing here, why not there? A hologram might help to explain what happened. In other words, anything we can do here, the Heavenly realm can do much better.

As I explained in ‘The Twilight Bridge,’ just because your eyes are not open when you have these spiritual experiences, please do not think that you are not seeing what you really are seeing… and actually in a much more real and clear way. One of the greatest spiritual practices is to learn to see with your eyelids closed. Your spiritual eyes are very adapt to seeing what’s actually there, you just have to practice. We have just been trained to value our physical sight a whole lot more.

Kim writes that she “became aware of” a big blurry object hovering over her head. To me, “Becoming aware” of something is an indication of a relaxed brain at the time. A relaxed brain is an access for something extraordinary to happen that is beyond the physical senses of this world. This is what happened to Kim that morning. Her brain was so relaxed that she didn’t freak out about the unidentifiable big head watching over her. After wondering about it for a while in her relaxed state, her brain eventually went back to being its’ vigilant, 5-sense self as it fully awakened once again to face another day… and in doing so, the vision and visitation dematerialized into thin air.

In writing this, and also being a Hypnotherapist, I just re-realized why the state of mind experienced at ‘The Twilight Bridge’ is so important in accessing spiritual information. Normally, during daily life, the brain is alert and focused on the tasks at hand. Maybe it is involved in grieving if that is what you are going through at the time, but my point is, the brain is not relaxed enough to allow a higher level of information in. I’m referring to spiritual information. The bandwidth of the brain is considerably more focused on the physical aspects of survival than that of the spiritual realms of fascination. This is why I suggest that when you are experiencing some spiritual phenomena at ‘The Twilight Bridge’ or any other place where you are engaging spiritually, that you linger longer without having to have an explanation. Take it all in. Stay relaxed and enjoy the mystery, the brilliance, the astonishment and the wonder of it all. When you awaken, write down as much as you remember while it is still fresh. You will be able to figure out some semblance of the experience then.

Kim wonders why Terry never says anything. It is possible that Terry is still communicating without moving his mouth? His communications say, “I am here.” “I am watching over you.” “I am guiding you from beyond.” “And, Yes, Kim, this is me by your side.” Could his words say more than his actions?

It is possible that Terry sees Kim, even if his eyes are not fixed on her. Obviously, he knows where she is. Perhaps he’s more of a non-confrontative type of spirit. Perhaps sharing his consistent, quiet and gentle soul with her is more of what she needs to feel comforted and heal.

Sometimes they appear… talk to us, look at us, touch us and sometimes they don’t. It is possible that it is not intended that we are to know they are here with us, but we see them anyway. These are the astonishing things that mystify us and we will eventually understand how it all works that we/they can somehow communicate between two worlds. Also… at the same time, although we imagine that we are apart for now, we might try to understand that thinking we could ever be separate is but an illusion. Our departed loved ones are always with us. Even if we can’t grasp it now. They are here. When you actually get this truth as an experience, those two worlds will become as one.

Image by deselect: Pixabay

(Information about history of Pepper’s Ghost and Holography- Credit:Wikipedia)

The Twilight Bridge

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After her mother’s recent passing, a sorrowful Jan, is repeatedly visited by her mother on the Twilight Bridge.

Jan writes:
“It is difficult to find anywhere to ask this question and it has bothered me since my Mom passed away a year ago. I had been living with mom for about 8 years and helping her to live in her home. She was 99 years old and fell while I was with her and did not recover. So, I do feel guilt, but everyone tells me it is not my fault.”

“After she passed (I live in her home), I was half-asleep. She came into the bedroom. I saw her in my mind, very clear. My eyes were closed and I wanted to wake up but my body felt frozen. I saw her distinctly for about 3 seconds and immediately woke up.”

“The next month, I was still very upset when a similar thing happened. I was half-asleep and saw her in my mind come into the bedroom, sit in a chair and look at me, sort of like she was comforting me. I called out to her and immediately woke up.”

“Then again, another time, I heard her call my name while I was sleeping. In front of my face was a large pad of paper and a hand was writing on it, but I could not read it and again woke up.”

“This last week, (still very sad) I heard her ask me “What is the matter?” I heard myself speak out loud, “I am sad.” I don’t think I was in a deep sleep.”

“These do not seem like any regular dreams I’ve had. In fact, I don’t usually remember my dreams. I guess I really need to believe it is her but at the same time I am skeptical. I don’t know what to make of it all. I read that grief plays tricks on your mind and it is just the trauma of grief and not really the deceased person. My greatest wish is that it is really my mom and she is with me. That would calm me.”

Commentary- There is a stage of sleep we pass through as we begin to fully awaken. This stage is often associated with the memory of having vivid dreams, experiencing curious occurrences and a feeling of such realness, that it can leave one wondering what the heck just happened and what it all means. I call this stage the Twilight Bridge, for reasons I will explain.

Although I had certainly experienced this phenomenon before in my life and chalked it up as interesting, it didn’t become tremendously fascinating until after I had lost loved ones to death. It was only then that a pattern formed, when my departed would, many times, come to visit me there at the Twilight Bridge.

I call it the Twilight Bridge because it is that magical space between dimensions that connects a more liquid, lucid dream-like world to our solid, fixed waking world. It didn’t take me long to realize that, if I experienced a visitation with my departed loved one during this magical lucid stage, and especially if they were giving me some detailed information, which only happened on occasion, I only had minutes to write it down before the message quickly faded with the waking up to my daily world. Of course, I would remember the gist of what happened, but in thinking I would remember what happened so clearly later, to write it down, was a lesson in which I could never recover those complete fresh details ever again.

While deep in my grief, I would love to sleep, just for the possibility of a Twilight Bridge experience and what I would learn from it. I even trained myself, to the extent that I could, to monitor my dreams for visitations. I would practice lucidity and awareness. For instance, once I was aware that I was experiencing lucidity, I would train myself to look all around me to see what was there. To my surprise, I would often find departed loved ones right at the periphery of my awareness.

Sometimes the visitations were visual and aural with touch, like a regular visit with someone in this realm. Sometimes the visits were just auditory. But the voice was clear enough to not deny. There were times I was left with the memory of a feeling that something big and important had just happened. And… sometimes the messages would be more abstract and I would have to feel into the experience to decipher its true message. But, whatever it was, it didn’t matter. It was one more chance to be with my loved one again in a way that was very real. Sometimes… even more real than in this physical realm.

Having had my fair share of Out-of-Body Experiences, I did have the experience of actually meeting my loved ones in the space, part-way, between two worlds during that twilight time or twilight sleep stage. There was even one time when, while visiting with a deceased friend, I began to awaken, only to realize that I couldn’t move my body for a few minutes until I completely returned. At least that is exactly what it felt like to me.

I’m not even saying that we are meeting on an actual bridge somewhere. And maybe we are. I am saying that the twilight state, in and of itself, seems to be the space for us to meet up between realms. And, that’s why I call it the Twilight Bridge. It’s a joy to experience.

Besides having these experiences during the twilight state where Jan would have the experience of being with her mother, she would also hear and see her as well. Although Jan was in a sleep state, she was on the Twilight Bridge. Jan was seeing with her spiritual eyes. Some people refer to them as the Third eye Chakra, others would say they were the eyes of the spirit.

It’s funny but, we tend to think that using our physical eyes is where it’s at, as far as giving us information. Of course we would, dwelling in this physical realm. That’s what we are used to. But consider this. It is possible that we can actually see more sometimes, when our physical eyes are closed. We see some of the things the physical eyes might never see because of what the physical brain filters out as irrelevant to physical survival. Eyes closed in a particular meditative state makes it possible to connect more deeply with our spiritual self – a good self to know.

Learning to see with spiritual eyes has such value. Of course, your brain may not know what to think of it. And, that’s why people will doubt their spiritual experiences. Eventually, the brain that has no idea how to explain these things away, slowly begins to accept these unusual occurrences as legitimate experiences.

Skepticism can be a good thing. Being cautious and even a little bit suspicious keeps us from being deceived in life and is considered useful to our brain for survival in our day to day experience. Also, filtering out what it thinks is irrelevant material, like it does, the brain might consider this spiritual stuff as made up fluff. Truth is… for many people, the brain has little use for a wild goose chase beyond the five physical senses. But… just because our finite brain doesn’t always understand or comprehend the spiritual stuff, it doesn’t mean it is not a “real” experience.

As far as Jan’s example of the traumatized brain playing tricks on one by re-creating departed loved ones? I have seen plenty of spiritual phenomena, including departed beings, while I was and was not traumatized by grief. It’s a thing! If it were true that grief-traumatized beings could hallucinate their departed loved one into existence… then why doesn’t it happen to the bereaved all the time? Honestly, you can’t manufacture an after-death communication. You can only provide the best space for it to occur.

It is common for a caretaker to feel guilty for one thing or another. As for Jan, the reality is that it was not your fault that your mother fell. I’m just impressed that your mother was still walking around at 99 years of age!

Also, your dreams were not regular dreams. They were vivid, distinct, memorable, remarkable and more real that the average non-sensical dreams. Your mother was definitely reaching out to you, repeatedly, just in case you had any doubts. Your mother doesn’t want you to feel guilty about her fall and that is was her time to go. She is at peace and out of pain. Your mother wanted you to know that and to comfort you in your sorrow over her passing. She has gone to great effort to show you that she is watching over you. The good news is that you are sensitive enough to allow her connection.

The great thing is she let you know, for a certainty, that she lives. She survived the grave. She called your name so it would be clear to you that she was really with you and was really talking to you. The hand writing on paper represented the continued contact by your mother, in case you had any doubts of what she was doing. If there was an important message she was trying to leave you that you could not read, she would have made that message very clear. That part of that demonstration was abstract.

Now, since these amazing Twilight Bridge experiences don’t happen all the time, actually they do but we just don’t remember them, it is important for us to know that just because we don’t consciously see, hear, feel or experience them in some way, don’t for one moment think they don’t happen and that our departed loved ones are not present in our everyday lives. We only experience spiritual phenomena when we do and when there is a clear space for it to happen.

The only thing I would advise for anyone to do differently is to not “try” to wake up. Do not immediately engage in the physical world. In doing so, you are not only engaging the conscious brain with your return to this solid and fixed realm, but more importantly, you are pulling yourself out of the glorious, lucid space of your connection with your mom on the bridge. You have connected so many times with her in the space on the Twilight Bridge, already. Next time, stay there a little longer in that bliss to see what else happens.

In the meantime, trust your experiences. They are yours.

A Representation of the Twilight Bridge (Image by Pixabay)

The Medicine That Is Hope

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Just when all seems lost, a distressed Linda cries out to her beloved, Thellis, for help and receives it in a most unexpected and delightful way.

Linda writes:
“I had not been on my game since just before Christmas. Slipping down into the deep end of the latest emotional abyss. There was something below, pulling on me, as I continued hanging on to the metaphorical life preserver of my grief. Even amidst my grief, I would feel pretty darn good, calm and breathing air and all, then all of a sudden under water, swimming in emotion and struggling to get back up to save myself from drowning in my sorrow.”

“I found myself wanting to be reassured that nothing was wrong with feeling this way. That there was no problem with it. That this was all a normal part of the grief process,  because to me, it looked all wrong, like it was a huge problem and I was feeling insane once again.”

“For a few nights before I left my house to visit my daughter who lives in another state, I kept waking up – two nights in a row, repeatedly throughout the night with immediate feelings of dread. The tidal wave of thoughts were so horrific that I not only felt bad emotionally, but physically as well. At the time, I could not see how I could keep doing anything like I normally would. How would I be able to drive hours to meet her? When I got back, how would I be able to go to work, pretend I was okay when I wasn’t at all? How could I pay my bills, look around for new place to live? How could I go on, not being able to stand myself in the state of mind I was in?”

“Looking at my life going forward, it was hard to see my way in such a dark gray, shabby world, with no ability to look forward to anything, enjoy anything, much less find a purpose to all this grief over the recent loss of my love, Thellis.”

“The recent torment I was experiencing, was all because I had hit some kind of strange wall of both physical and mental exhaustion that was making me have great difficulty putting one literal and metaphorical foot in front of the other. And worst of all, I was afraid I was going to forget how he looks and the sound of his voice. I always loved his voice.”

“It took everything in me to just finish packing and carry my things to my car. With all my strength, I said out loud to Thellis, “I want and need your help!” I didn’t know what Thellis would do to help me, but I knew there had to be a part of him that wanted me to not be scared and hurting like this — and to enjoy my upcoming time with my daughter… our daughter, Marijo.”

Mourning Doves

“Now, I need to share a back story first before continuing. As I pondered my after-death communications from Thellis, I hoped that one of these days there would be an actual physical object showing up on this planet, that was so obvious, that there could be no doubt, even from a stranger’s viewpoint, that would be too amazing to explain away. I needed some solid proof, something tangible, but that had not happened yet.  I had thought, and even said out loud over past 3 1/2 months, that I knew it could not be a dove, of course. The reason is because I’ve never seen one up here in my neck of the woods and certainly not now that it’s winter, but still reasoned that it sure would be nice since there was such a strong association of doves and Thellis. You see, Thellis loved those sweet mourning doves so much and the cooing noise they would make. He would imitate them sometimes during our conversations. So even though it could never be that, maybe it could be something else just as obvious to me.”

“So, now back to my current story. After I trudged to my car with my belongings and put them in the car, got in my car and was wishing that he would just touch me… immediately, for next couple of minutes, I felt as if a feather was tickling my face as I pulled out of my driveway. I even brushed my hand across my face to feel if something was there. Nothing was there but the feeling of a feather tickling around my face.”

“Then, as I drove out of out my neighborhood, to my complete surprise, I suddenly saw in the middle of my street- a flock of doves! I’m so mad I didn’t take a picture but I was so stunned and remained that way- I didn’t even think of it. After all, it was below zero and still snow on the ground and I had never seen any doves since living here for the past 7 years. As if that was not enough, 15 miles down the highway, I pulled off to go to a convenience store. When I pulled into park, in my rear view mirror, that were 2 doves standing in a grassy area by the store. I was so happy. I immediately knew this was from him!”

“What happened next, I didn’t think possible. Immediately my physical and mental energy was restored. I was calm, peaceful, sane and hope was on the horizon that the future would not always be a cold, flat and colorless world. And now, more than anything, an absolute knowing that he was right there beside me and that we were and are eternally connected. With this experience I could see, at least a glimpse, of how something beautiful could be born out of this nightmarish pain of grieving.”

“I thought, “Maybe I could survive it after all and even help somebody else someday who was experiencing this kind of suffering. I just needed to trust the process, God and myself and refrain from beating myself up when I find myself in these emotional tidal waves that throw me to and fro in a full array of emotional insecurity when all of the sudden I’ve lost hope- as I did before Thellis helped me with the doves.”

Commentary- Anyone who has done some serious grieving is all too familiar with the frequent plunges into the deep end of the emotional sea of grief. The pain of grief is persistent, pervasive and anxiety producing, to say the least, as one constantly struggles to stay afloat. At times, the feeling of being so overwhelmed with the fear and panic of imminent devastation, can feel like the possibility of being swept up and carried out to sea. Just one lost soul out there in a sea of pain just trying to survive against the power and strength of relentless emotional waves. Sometimes, even emotional tidal waves of pain.

Yes. Grief can feel like this. Depending on your range of feeling, one might really identify with the above description. To some, this does not seem dramatic, but very familiar. It hurts, it’s devastating and there is little to do when one realizes that they are at the mercy of a grueling grief process that seems to have its’ own mind. Controlling the grief process? What’s that?

Lost boat in rough waters

Processing deep grief can be so scary and dark, with many ups and downs and feelings of hopelessness and being out of control. It’s like being in a boat out to sea, alone and lost in stormy weather, with no way to know how to find your way back to the safety of saneness and stability. No, you just have to deal with each new emotional wave that crests.

There are some brief moments of reprieve, where one thinks they are out of the chaos of that storm, only to be reminded that, at least at the beginning of the grief process, those moments do happen at times, but are fleeting before disruption occurs once more. The good news is that relief becomes more and more of a constant as time and perspective gives way to healing.

Although the grief process is commonly filled with a great degree of pain and despair, if there are suicidal thoughts, especially thoughts that include a suicidal plan, immediately seek help. Here is a link for my resources and emergency page for reference. For sure, deep grief is not for sissies. Keep processing though, find support because healing eventually happens. It really does just take time.

Grieving at such depth can bring up every insecurity possible, every fear. The chaos of grief can make one feel insane at times, too. Grief can cause physical and mental torment and exhaustion as Linda has described, enough to where she began to see a world without color, a life with no future, no purpose or meaning and therefore; no point to living. The loss of a loved one is sometimes so traumatic that it can occur like an assault, causing one to give up on any hope, whatsoever.

But then, something happened when Linda, in her weary state, reached out to ask Thellis for help. Thellis, knowing of her condition and plea began to answer. First the tickle of a bird feather around her face, followed by a lovely bouquet of many doves. It wasn’t as though these doves were off flying somewhere when she saw them, or that they were off on the side of the road, in the moment she needed it most, they were exactly, literally in her path! And, if the doves weren’t enough by themselves, she got the precursor of the tickle to let her know something was up.

What a special gift from Thellis, who gave Linda exactly what she wished for, but didn’t think possible. To Linda, this was nothing less than amazing that the doves she hadn’t seen in 7 years were right there before her. Doves that Thellis happened to love. The doves that were the physical proof she wanted to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that Thellis really does hear her, loves her and is there by her side.

But even with all those miracles, among them is the medicine of hope. Before Thellis’s signature gift to her, Linda was barely functioning. She was struggling, low in energy, in pain and in desperate need of help. After Thellis’s signature gift? Linda was restored to a vibrant, pain-free, energetic and excited self. Linda was completely healed in that moment that her hope was renewed.

The medicine of hope is powerful. In Linda’s experience of receiving the signs she asked for, when she was at her very lowest and with the medicine of hope, Linda was instantly made whole. Immediately restored by her experience was the possibility of a life with color, a future ahead of her, a purpose to serve others in deep pain, meaning, and a point to the living of that life. It’s amazing how hope can heal so quickly and thoroughly.

Our departed loved ones are with us. They may not always be able to show us, but they are. They are connected to our thoughts and feelings. They are connected to our lives. They are here to watch over and to help us through this life. And, in time, we will be reunited with them. When that happens, there will be no more need to hope. There will be no more need for tears. With the joy from our reunion, our wishes and prayers will forever be answered.

Hope. Follow the Light on your path.

Children Who See Ghosts

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Have you ever heard of a child’s invisible friend? Have you ever wondered why it is so much easier for children to see the spirits of the departed?

One day, many years ago, a little girl named Heather, was playing quietly in her bedroom in her big beautiful house. Then unexpectedly, she was visited by a lady who carried on a conversation with her before she vanished as quickly as she came. After which, she thought to tell her mother about her experience.

“A nice lady came to visit me.” “Were you scared?” her mother asked. “No” Heather said, “Because she was a nice lady.”

The little girl was my cousin’s young child. That nice lady was figured out to be my Grandmother, my Nana. That beautiful home in which Heather’s family lived, was the house my Nana designed and my Grandpa had built for her. Nana lived in her amazing home for decades after my Grandpa died, until she crossed over in her nineties to reunite with him again. After which, It was my cousin who bought her home where, after he married, he started his young family.

Commentary- Our departed loved ones love and care about us. They have interest in our lives. Wherever you might think they have gone- “over there, somewhere”, constantly around or anywhere in between, our departed loved ones check in on us and are around to protect and guide us while we go through our lives. Sometimes they appear as solid as a person, while other times they manifest as sheer as a thought in our head or even a subtle sensation in our body that could be easy to miss, but they are here. Here, with us.

childlike innocence

Ghosts and spirits are basically the same thing, made of the spirit material called subtle energy. Whatever scary movies are out there, spirits are sometimes misunderstood. They are harmless and often come to look in, guide and comfort us. They do not materialize to scare us.

It should not be a surprise that children are especially sensitive to seeing or communicating with spirits… those they may know, as well as those they don’t know.

In their innocence, and full of their childlike wonder, they have not yet been tarnished in their thinking. They have not been burdened in their hearts. They have not yet succumbed to the fearfulness, cynicism and disillusionment that become more common as adulthood approaches. They are not bogged down with disbelief. In fact, they believe most anything… including that a nice lady could magically appear in her room to have a conversation with her. Some parents call them “invisible friends.” But… little do they know, and brush them off like crumbs after a meal, causing children to lose their ability and even, forget they ever had these experiences.

Childlike wonder

If there was a way for resigned and disillusioned adults, who have the experience of having been beaten down by the people and situations of life to return to a childlike state of innocence and wonder, it could be just enough for the walls of doubt and disbelief to come crashing down. Doubt mixed with anger, apathy and disenchantment can make one heck of a wall. Doing what it takes to allow those walls to fail could be the beginning of a constant connection to the spiritual realm and a more sure way to connect. Just a thought, but either way, it would certainly be much more peaceful. Let them fall.

In the end, what we are really talking about is simple humility, wonder and faith. These qualities are abundant in the innocent – whether they be found in children or adults.

The magical spiritual moments of connecting with departed loved ones in a heavenly space- are best accomplished when we are the possibility of being as a an innocent child.

Innocence