While deep in grief over the loss of her beloved partner, Marcus, Karen receives a sign of hope in the form of a dream that shows her a brighter future. 

Karen writes:
“Many times, I just want to go to the spirit world because I miss my loved one so much. Of course, since I have two sons, I feel very guilty about even thinking this. I don’t have any suicidal tendencies or plans, but I will talk to God and say, “I am ready anytime” or… I simply relish in the fact that every day is a day closer to getting to go to heaven. I love my family and my life, but as you know, it is just that painful of a loss to lose a soulmate.”

“Recently, I had a very significant dream. I was swimming with my oldest son, Hayden, who is 15, and we were under water. I was following him from the deep toward the surface of the water, when I realized that I could not make it on my own to the top. My body was just too tired to swim. I shouted to him from the water and didn’t know if he could hear me or see me struggling. I thought I might drown. Just then, Hayden turned around to see me. He took my hand and led me to the surface where the sun was sparkling. When we made it to the top… I woke up.”

Commentary- As many who have lost a loved one know, grief can take us to some very dark places. Karen’s thoughts of death and dying are not uncommon, as living with the pain of grief can be completely devastating. So painful in fact, that sometimes even thinking about the possibility of dying can bring a strange kind of relief.

However, it is possible that within the darkness of our suffering, an encouraging flicker of light can briefly interrupt our pain long enough to remind us that things will eventually get better. Karen’s dream is an example of such a comforting hope of promise.

In her dream, Karen finds herself buried in a watery grave of emotion; struggling to continue on. Mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted, she deeply experiences the harshness of life. So burdened and overwhelmed, Karen wonders about her survival and fears that she may very well drown from the tears of her tragedy.

But, with one last ounce of courage, Karen shouted out to Hayden for help, even though she had no reason to think that Hayden, who was looking the other way, would either see or hear her. You see, this is very symbolic. In her dream, Karen was unsure if Hayden would be aware of her distress because, in life, Karen was secretly grieving the loss of her secret love, and had never told him. In other words, Karen, feeling like she had to hide her distress, was left to grieve her loss alone.

It makes perfect sense to Karen that Hayden was the one who appeared in her dream to save her from a certain death. From the moment he was born, Karen felt an undeniable bond between them. Immediately, she recognized him as one of the soulmates she would depend upon while journeying the challenging terrain of this life.

Naturally, having this kind of spiritual connection, it’s understandable that Hayden intuited his mother’s distress without actually being told about her tragic loss.  When it really mattered the most, and all seemed lost, Hayden was there to use the strength of their bond to pull his mother from the depths of her grief, to the surface where she received the vision that the sun would shine again.

Although she might have thought it impossible at the time, Karen was given this promise to move forward in faith and assurance. The emotional deluge would eventually subside and she would enter the light where complete healing is possible.

Healing Light