Category Archives: Grief and Mourning

Grief and Mourning is a natural result from the loss of something or someone, known as part of the grief process or cycle.

Loneliness After Loss

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Among all the stages of grief, probably the hardest part is the loneliness. The vast missing of a beloved seems to extend forever in all directions for a time.

Art and Sally

Art and Sally were married for 54 years. When Art, suddenly passed away just over a year ago, It broke Sally’s heart. Since then, Sally has been grieving and missing her husband terribly.

Throughout their marriage, Art loved to take care of things for Sally, inside the house… and out. He was very handy, capable and could fix just about anything.

In the warmer months, you could see Art outside, wearing his sun hat, either on his tractor or physically working in the yard around the family house they built for themselves. In fact, he liked hats so much that when they would go on any adventure, he would buy a baseball hat as a souvenir.

One day when Art was still in the physical, he asked Sally, “What are you going to do with this big house when I’m gone?” Sally, thinking Art would surely outlast her, shrugged. She never would have imagined he would go before her. You see, the property is in a very secluded area without much traffic or many close neighbors. Art was wanting her to think about such a thing and be prepared in case it was necessary. Surely, It would be too much for Sally to take care of the whole house and property by herself, nor would she want to.

The Hat

Art's garden hat

Art’s garden hat

After Art’s passing, Sally has had some after-death communications from Art. Ironically, in one of them, he was still taking care of her by informing her of a possible plumbing problem. But the other week when Sally, so lonely and sad, was wanting yet another sign to give her confidence that he is still around, she went outside her house. On top of the flower bed, sat Art’s hat.

Although she can’t explain how the hat got there, Sally knew it was Art who left his it as a sign. No one else had been by the property since the gardeners were there, less than a week before. Enjoying the moment, she left it a day or so before the next time the gardeners would come. Then, she put it on her head and has worn it outside ever since.

Commentary- It’s clear that our loved ones perceive our thoughts and feelings. Although it doesn’t always happen, we do get these signs and after-death communications from time to time. And, it’s a real confidence booster and comfort when it does happen.

Art left his hat on the flower bed, as if to say, “I’m still here, I’m still in the yard and I’m still in the house with you. I have never really left.” It’s also a way for Art to give Sally flowers, and his hat being there, certainly got her attention. He also gave her his hat.

Putting on the hat is a way to merge on a spiritual level. It’s a way to acknowledge they are close to us. Having faith in our bond, we acknowledge and accept the possibility and truth of it.

Loneliness

loneliness

loneliness

When a loved one passes, it is difficult. There is a particular kind of loneliness that one experiences in what seems to be the setting in of some kind of finality. Sure. Things are not the same. We feel alone even though we may be surrounded, and even supported by people we love.

We see people out and about without as much as a care in the world. We notice the stark contrast in the human state of mind that many never notice until something like this happens to them. The lightness to the heaviness and just how deep the heaviness goes with grief. Never do we go any deeper than this.

We find ourselves in new and uncomfortable places in our psyche. We want to escape but we feel stuck. Sometimes it is just too much to take. The loneliness, that is.

Lean into it

Look. Having gone through this, I know it’s tough. I know it hurts. It may even seem unbearable at times. However, when I am asked about this, I always say to, “lean into it.” Yes. Lean into the loneliness and into the pain. Have the courage to do so. To experience a love this deep as to grieve this hard is a blessing and an honor. 

It is a blessing because you loved and were loved. Your relationship was deep and intricate. Your hearts, minds and souls merged together in a way that created this magnificent bond that is not so easy to get over. Good! It takes a lot of missing someone when they are no longer in the physical and sometimes, a whole lot of time. That’s called loneliness. Lean into it, it honors us, them and that sacred relationship.

They are right here

Our beloveds have not gone away. They are with us, love and care for us and reach out to help us where they can. At times, they leave their signs and after-death communications. Our relationships have not gone away. They’ve just gone deeper. We will be reunited with them again someday in the future in a way that satisfies us completely. Every day we live, paves the way for that. But remember, in the meantime, to live your life here, as well.

Shortly after this, another amazing thing happened. Previously, when Art asked her about what she would do with the house, she had no idea whatsoever. In what seemed like a miracle in her mind, she suddenly knew the right answer to that previous question, without any doubt at all.

With Art’s blessing, she will move into a new condominium in town where she will have a community there, no yard work, and will move forward and further into her healing path. And, of course, she knows that Art will follow her there, too.

Side note- Art’s souvenir baseball caps have all been adopted by family members who now spiritually merge with him and wear him close to themselves, as well. 
A poem Sally got from one of her grief groups

A poem Sally got from one of her grief groups

Knock Knock. He’s there!

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In this After-death Communication, Marie is visited by her beloved husband, with a series of knocks on her window, on two separate occasions.

Marie writes to me:
“In April of 2023, my dear husband of 45 years, passed away suddenly from a fall in our garage. I found him, and was so sad I wasn’t there to help. He wasn’t sick. He had a vibrant life. He loved flying and was training for an aerobatics competition, and still had a beautiful head of blonde hair!”

“The day he died, there was a large white egret (water bird) in our tree. We live in the desert.”

First occurrence,
“A few months later in June, I was sitting in the family room with our dog. I was still very sad. There were two gentle knocks on my window. I thought I was hearing things. Then, there were three knocks on my window. Puzzled, my dog heard those, he got up ran toward the window and stopped.”

“My husband was a kind and gentle person. I was wondering if that could have been him letting me know he was ok but didn’t want to scare me? The knocks were deliberate and spaced. There was no one I could see.”

My 1st response to Marie:

“Absolutely, Marie. Yes, I think you read those experiences perfectly. The message would be something to the effect of, “Hello, I’m still here but don’t want to make you afraid. I love and care about you and am watching over you.”
I’m sorry for your loss. Hugs. May you have many more of these. They are so healing.”

(Four months later in October) Maria writes me again: “The week of April 4, 2024 was one year since I lost my dear husband. However, after that experience of knocking on the sliding glass door in June 2023, I hadn’t heard anything or received any signs. I was disappointed.”

Then… Second occurrence
“A week or so after I wrote you in October of 2023 about this, I was in our bedroom folding laundry, and there were six rapid knocks on that glass door, then five right after. I opened the door, but there was nothing there. I thought if it was my husband again, it sounded urgent and did he want me to help him?”

“I was sad and frustrated because I didn’t know how to help. Interesting that happened on the other side of the house from the first experience, like he came to find me. I wish I knew if he was still near me or has moved on. I don’t know what to make of these experiences. Could my husband have come to me to tell me he was ok? Was he just letting me know he was still around.. and is he still here? And can I do anything to help him… frustrating. I miss him terribly.

My 2nd Response:
“Much of the time, our departed loved ones have, what I call, their own unique spiritual signature. It’s like a calling card that lets you know how they are showing up for you. Your husband knocks. He’s not knocking because he needs something. He knocks because he is trying to get your attention. He is telling you that he is still with you! He cares about you, and he loves you.”

“I know you miss him terribly but please know that although your eyes don’t see him, your ears sure hear him. He will always be with you, now, and when you are reunited. That’s what love does. And, in the meantime, he is always with you in your heart. No. He really is! 🙂 But that’s another conversation.”

Great White Egret Photo: Paul Brennan

Commentary- White egrets are large birds that symbolize purity, grace and new beginnings. It is no wonder that Marie’s husband would be represented in this great bird. Egrets are predator animals which sends the signal that he will be there to protect her and help her to get through adversity. Winged, no less, this could represent a pure heavenly angel, straight from God’s presence.

Many say that if you see an egret, you are very lucky. Maybe even blessed. They are considered a good omen.

I find it interesting that Marie’s husband knocks on glass, whether it be a window or sliding glass door. This points to, not only transparency, but to a portal into the next world, as well. The next world is so close to us. Perhaps he is telling her that he is so close to her, but there is just this thin and easily breakable barrier between them. Maybe even, metaphorically, so close that if he knocks too hard, the barrier will shatter. 

In my experience, windows represent entryways, openings or portals into the next world. It’s a common phenomenon. It’s definitely comforting to think about it that way, and like the “veil” that is often spoken of, implies that it is just that- a very thin membrane or fragile divide of sorts.

The softer knocking that happened at first, was to get Marie’s attention in a gentle way. A soft start can prepare us to be more consciously aware that a visit from our beloved is even possible. Paying attention and being willing to grow awareness often paves the way for visits more often.

Many times, through living in such a physical world, people have become spiritually tuned out against the finer and higher vibrations of the edges of our vibrational spectrum. We tend to focus mainly on getting through our day, let alone, getting through our life.

People tend to think that our experience of life exist within our 5 physical senses. It mainly does, but, being a spiritual being first, we can access more of these senses. Mainly, we have just forgotten how.

Dogs and cats are more spiritually attuned. Marie’s dog ran in the direction of the knock, then stopped. More than likely, he saw his master again. Perhaps he sees him quite a lot of the time. But this time was accompanied with some physical noise.

In April of 2024, Marie experienced her first year without her husband in the flesh. The experience of the loss of a beloved is devastating. However, he has always been with her. Always aware, always protective and always loving her. Marie has been able to tap into more than her physical senses. It feels good. It gives us hope and comfort.

Often, these reoccurring spiritual calling cards become the new way to communicate or send a message. The message usually serves as a reminder that our beloved “departed” is not so far away, but… actually very close to us, even to the point of being a part of us. But again… that’s a whole other conversation.

Photo credit: Bru-no (Pixabay)

 

When Heaven Comes to Us

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In the last nine days of her brother, Joseph’s life, Marijo and her mother experience a preview of the heaven that awaited their loved one.

Marijo writes:
I was very blessed to experience a beautiful shared-death experience with my younger brother in July of 2021.

Just 8 days prior, he made the decision to pass peacefully in a hospice facility. His body had completely been wrecked by his progressive auto-immune disease and a pathogen found in his lungs after a bout of Covid. His physical body was in failure and he was working with a body that could no longer fight.

For nine days, my mother, Toni, and I sat with him. My mother’s worst fear was he would die alone. My fear was she would be alone to watch him pass. As other family came in and out, we left the room for brief periods to eat, rest, shower, and pray.

First Occurrence
As luck would have it, it was a beautiful hospice facility and there was a walking path lined with trees and benches. The benches outside his room became like an old friend. As I was relaxing and reflecting on how my little brother went from very verbal to completely non- responsive, I heard the most beautiful soothing music my human ears had ever heard. I struggle to find the vocabulary to explain the angelic sounds I heard outside Joseph’s room.

The music started off faint but rose up as if it was choir in a marching band, it got louder and louder. It was obvious that the beautiful choral of voices and soft instruments was coming closer and closer. This was the first of three experiences I believe to be shared-death experiences.

The Second Occurrence
The second occurrence happened that same night when my mother and I were both sitting bedside. For two days we watched Joseph experience what the hospice team defined as “the death stare”. However, his most dedicated and very lovey nurse explained, “he is just looking at the angels.” What happened next solidified this point for me.

As we sat quietly, an extremely bright, warm, and pure light projected across his room. My mother and I were speechless. When we were able to converse, we both confirmed the pure light. Once again, human language would not be sufficient to describe the beauty and love that filled his room.

Dragonflies

Dragonfly

The Third Occurrence
On day 9, my last shared-death experience occurred. It was the night when my little brother left this Earth. After his death, I went back to the bench outside. I was needing to be alone for a moment. I sat in peace knowing he was experiencing true beauty. Suddenly I was surrounded by dragonflies. They were everywhere in the dark night.

 

If the other two signs did not confirm his soul was at peace, this last shared experience was unmistakable. The beauty I witnessed through the sounds of the music, the peacefulness of the bright light, and the glory of the dragonflies, constantly fill my heart. I have zero doubts about the magnificence of an afterlife now.

The Power of an Afterlife Perspective
I won’t say my grief was lighten but I will say my perspective was drastically changed. Death is not something I fear after sharing in the beauty of these moments. I can only dream of the experiences now and know they were not of this world. They were supernatural statements of a world much more splendid and amazing than this one.

Commentary- When we are young, we live our whole lives thinking that death is clear out there, far away from us. As we grow, being “old” becomes somewhat relative.

But as we come closer to the end of our lives, whether faced with an illness or old age, many don’t know what to expect as we near the mysterious door that we are told, opens before us.

When one is about to pass, it’s not uncommon for that one who is being gently lifted from this Earthly vibration to begin to experience these heavenly things of which Marijo speaks.

For us on the outside, it can look like something other than it actually is. One might observe their loved one staring off into space, trying to make out something with their eyes as their new home slowly begins to materialize. Sometimes, there is some talking to unseen beings or even exhibiting a careful listening to something from beyond.

What is so different about this case is that Marijo and her mother had the amazing gift of being privy to Joseph’s transition. Although at first, even one of these miraculous experiences would be enough. However, added together they gave Marijo a full understanding of what was occurring, specifically that Joseph, her younger brother, would be in great hands as he left his weary body to cross over.

Marijo and her mother experienced some pieces of Heaven. You know when it happens because you can’t explain it or describe it. As Marijo recalls, they were speechless and even with speech, there were no words to adequately describe their experience.

In the garden, Marijo heard the beautiful music appear to grow louder. This was to gently prepare her for what was soon to come. The light spread across the room was to comfort those therein. Lastly, the dragonflies (a spiritual symbol of an angel) were sent to say, “I made it into the beautiful light and now I’m free to fly.!” Btw, because of predators it is unusual to see dragonflies flying around in the dark unless they absolutely have to. Dragonflies are known to hide from predators at night and fly by day.

For Marijo and her mother, through these shared-death experiences, they don’t have to wonder if Joseph is okay and has made it to his destination in the light. They know he has.

Moving forward
Of course, knowing this, we are happy for our loved ones. Even so, we do still miss them in our physical world. It takes something to walk the path of the grief process. It is winding with ups and downs. We will feel a plethora of emotions as we go forth.

Photo credit: Jill Wellington of Pixabay

Photo credit: Jill Wellington of Pixabay

But as we go forth grieving our loss, please remember that every step forward in this process, is one step closer to reuniting with them again. And, when we do meet again, imagine what joy there will be.

For more shared-death experiences, read here.

“Shedding Light on Trauma”

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A Tribute to Beloved Christian, New personal challenges on the horizon and the “Shedding Light on Trauma” modality, all tied together in one post
Our Beloved Christian

It was on March 31, 2010, that Christian suddenly left this plane. When I think back now, I remember the severe pain and trauma created from his death and what it brought up for me.

At one point, the pain was too deep to describe. My grief had no language yet, to express what I had suddenly been bombarded with. This is a thing, for sure. With so much bombardment, the brain gets scrambled in many different directions. These are some very challenging times without the words. But eventually we do find them again.

Using the light of the Sun/Son to heal
Sun shining through the trees

Photo credit: MGLife/Pixabay

In dealing with this trauma back then, I accidentally discovered a healing tool/modality that helped immensely. I call it, “The Shedding of Light.” For those who prefer a trendier name to the modality, I recommend, “Getting Lit.” It just popped into my head just now.

In deep despair, I would go outside and sit with my face toward the direction of the sun. While gently closing my eyes, I would seek the light of God there; the father of my soul. Surely, If anywhere, I would find comfort there.

Well, the modality worked well. In the light, I would come away enlightened, if even for a moment, I experienced a reprieve. I did this often as I spoke to my Heavenly Father seeking guidance, insight, comfort and peace.

One could use this same modality to seek Divinity, Higher Self or just the healing, life-giving rays of the sun shedding its light. Whatever you choose will work because all light shows us the way in the darkness.

New Developments

It’s just over a month from Christian’s 12 year anniversary now. There have been some new big developments on the horizon. On his life celebration anniversary, I had just been released from the hospital after having had major surgery for Ovarian Cancer. Although, my official story is that I was attacked by a Grizzly bear and won. I crawled off to live another day and tell my tale. I’m not going to say it was easy, however, I was victorious!

I have the mutated BRCA gene which puts me in a high risk category. The serous cancer is a fast and aggressive moving cancer that was running rampant in my body. I inherited this gene from my mother who died of breast cancer at age 44. I was but a child, so I admit that I do have some old baggage with watching her go through all this, and watching her die anyway. So, I have the opportunity to work through this.

Even though I am diagnosed in the beginning of Stage 3, I am fortunate that I even caught this in the first place. It’s a wonder that I even had a single sign to warn me as many do not find out until it’s too late. I am grateful for my body that has always seemed to tell me when something is not right so I can address it. It’s important to tune in and listen to your body. It is the sacred vessel that carries you through life.

The Stages

To get a thorough examination, I was cut open for a good look. They found additional areas of cancer outside of the ovaries/fallopian tubes. Small spots on the pelvis and abdomen were also detected and removed. That is considered 3 different areas or stages of spread. Over the past 5 weeks I have healed well. The body is amazingly resilient.

Systemic Therapy/Systemic Spa Day. Yay!

Today, May 2nd, I have begun Chemotherapy to kill any remaining microscopic cancer cells. Here at the Huntsman Cancer Institute, they are beginning to call this a more transformed name, Systemic Therapy. I have re-labeled my upcoming treatments as my Systemic Spa Day and I hold the IV bags to my body to prepare them and then bless them before they enter my bloodstream.

I’m hoping I’m not being too unrealistic and that the systemic spa part of it holds true throughout this process. Nevertheless, I am calm and peaceful about my choice to do this. It will save my life as without it, my chances of getting cancer again are 100%.

Remembering the Healing Light

On Christian’s life celebration day and while I was freshly home from the hospital, in a weakened state, with eyes closed, the sun shone upon me at that very moment. I instantly remembered the power that, “The Shedding of Light” had on a previously bereaved me. How that light supported and sustained me in my earthly challenges. I actually rediscovered it and realized once again how this simple modality really does work so well. So I used it and immediately felt relief. I will continue to use this in my journey now. I hope you adopt this as well.

My Point

Besides honoring Christian’s life celebration and letting you know about what I’m up to these days, there is something I want to express to you in this post. Through any challenge you may face, as you walk your particular path in life, remember the light that outshines the darkness.  Let it gloriously shine upon you in which ever way you choose. Let it shed its healing, loving and nurturing rays upon you.

While I also am a Hypnotherapist and use the helpful imagination of light penetrating the body and space around a person all the time, I love using the actual brightness and warmth of the sun to achieve this bliss, if even momentarily. I escape the human struggle for a while. It’s great to be in the light’s presence.

I use “The Shedding of the Light” as communion with God. Closed eyes are absolutely for protection from the actual burning-star sun, but also represents a holy and sacred moment with the Divine. Please don’t look at the sun. Thank you.

The Road Ahead…

I’ve got a long road ahead of me. Six treatments every 3 weeks followed by 2 years of immunotherapy. However, I know that this is a part of my path in life and the lessons I can learn, the compassion I can expand in myself for me and others. I think about all the ways I can use this experience to grow and develop in this school of life.

Christian’s Light

I also know that graduating from this school early was Christian’s path. I was told this several times but it didn’t make sense then. I once thought that a huge light was taken from the earth when he left. But now, more than ever, I know that his beautiful light is shining down too, guiding the way through the darkness. Thank you for this, Christian. He would do nothing less for the people on this planet.

Facing challenges on your path? Who are you going to be in the matter?

No matter whatever challenges befall you on your path in life, please know that it is these most fearful experiences, such as, grief, trauma and pain that have the best possibility of bringing the most growth. All challenges like these build courage and greatness. That is… if we bravely and powerfully step into them and do not run away .

Again, these teaching moments are designed to overcome fear and to show you who you are… and even extend the possibility of becoming your new level of greatness. Through these challenges, are you going to be your weakest self (Victim), or your strongest self (Victor)?

I see it as a marker for how far one has come and reveals what is left to transform. Transforming these challenges is where the treasure is. This path leads to achieving personal growth by stretching oneself and a more fulfilling and consistent path of peacefulness and faith.

In the end…

Although you may go through trauma, in the face of it, you get to choose in each moment who you want to be. Sometimes you will forget, and then you will remember again. It’s all about who you are going to be in the matter. Life confronts us with challenges. We must use them for good. To grow, develop and overcome. This is life’s process.

I always see myself as a flower growing toward the sun. Ever-growing, for the sun is my source and provides me with energy. When I don’t feel well, whether in brain, body or spirit, I know I need to go to the source of light. It just works. And sometimes part of our path is to actually go to the light, the ultimate source.

In the end, I have learned from my own spiritual experiences as well as others, that whatever happens, as an infinite soul, we can never really die. In that, I have peace and assurance.

Woman healing by the rays of the sun

Photo credit: Jill Wellington/Pixabay

The Beauty of a Spiritual Practice

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One morning while Jennifer meditates, she is privy to an extraordinary event- her brother’s release from this world and his transition to the next

Jennifer writes:
“On the morning March 31st, I had returned to my bed to meditate quietly as my husband had not yet awakened. I was in a quiet place with my thoughts subsiding and a beautiful indigo blue vision appeared in front of me. Awake but with closed eyes I was overwhelmed with deep calm peacefulness, joy and bliss.”

“The vision was like a balloon inflating and deflating …very deep dark edges and lighter fading into a centre of almost white. It was a light dimming and glowing before me. I felt if I reached my hand out I would feel it but did not want it to go away so I enjoyed the bliss while it lasted, which felt like 2-4 minutes.”

“I got up feeling incredible. I was still in a pure state of joy, I sat with my iPad researching such things as archangel Michael, the throat chakra, blue visions and I was convinced from the feelings of comfort and peace I had felt a blessing of sorts.”

“I sat talking to my husband of the wonderful peacefulness that I felt. As we were talking, my MSN chimed and on my brother’s message his wife asked if I could call her. I rang her. She said my brother had gone. Confused, I asked, “Where has he gone?” Tearfully, she explained that she had found him. He had died by suicide that morning.”

“Of course, grief struck me immediately but after some tears had subsided I came to the realization that my vision had occurred during my brother’s transition. I naturally felt he had peace and comfort after the turmoil that had been facing him here in this world. I felt an enormous comfort from this.”

“The deep blue seemed so significant to me that I put a blue bottle out on a ledge near my kitchen window. That evening I was listening to music, reflecting on our lives and remembering my brother with his big beautiful smile. My house was all closed up bar one door to the entry courtyard area. I had a dim lamp so the room was quite dark.”

“Outside, it was night and there wasn’t much moonlight so it was very dark. Just then, a bird flew into the room. It landed on the blue bottle I had out for my brother. I was thrilled, overjoyed, in fact, then it found it’s way back out through the courtyard. My husband saw it leave. I was sad it had gone but not even two minutes later, this bird returned and sat looking at me. I felt so calm after a couple of minutes, I picked it up, opened my kitchen window and set it free. This bird did not fly away but perched itself just beyond the window on a chain that hung to the window sill.”

“As I closed the window, it flew away. There was so much peace in my heart, I felt my brother near me again. We used to rehabilitate birds. It was our thing.”

“I went to bed in comfort, knowing he was in a good place. Over the next few days I received many signs. One morning I was lucid dreaming and could hear my phone buzzing but in my dream, I looked at the screen and there were constellations, black and white, of course, as that’s how the sky looks at night. When I woke up I had 3 messages on my phone. My daughter-in-law had sent pictures of my brother at her wedding to my son. The pictures were in black and white which is quite unusual these days and the wedding was last year. Most of the pictures taken were in color.”

“On a site I always look up for my morning quote, it read, “I took the road less travelled” by Robert Frost. This made perfect sense to me. A little while later, I was listening to a talk by a fellow I listen to who had the same Christian name as my brother, Neville, and of all the random talks I happened to pick, within the first few minutes of a 40 minute talk, he spoke of Robert Frost. Everything was connecting!

Neville’s birth year

Then, of all things, my husband got dressed and on his shirt was a Roman numeral, MCMLX5. This was the year my brother was born.”

 

 

“Everything, all these signs and synchronicities have given me courage, strength, faith and reassurance. Lots of evidence that God is always in/with us, eternally. Things keep happening and I am so comforted. Blessings to everyone and love to all.”

“I live In Australia. I looked to see which bird breed it was. It was a Graceful Honeyeater.”

Commentary- When Jennifer heard the tragic news about her dear brother, Neville, she already had a deeply spiritual foundation in place through her practice of meditation. Without it, she may have missed this amazing experience as well as the spiritual understanding of what it all meant. Grieving would have been much more painful and difficult without her spiritually grounded foundation.

What Jennifer experienced is also called a “Shared Death Experience” where, like her brother, Neville, she was privy to the actual moment of his release from this world and his transition to the next. The beautiful thing about this is that Jennifer was a witness to Neville’s sudden peacefulness. She can be comforted that he safely made it back home to all that is love and understanding.

chakras

chakras Kirtlane/Pixabay

The Indigo color that Jennifer experienced is the color of the spiritual third eye chakra. This is the seat of intuition and spiritual sight/vision according to yoga traditions. It is characterized by a deep blue with deep purple mixed in, so the color is very rich. The third eye chakra is just below the crown chakra which is a vibrant violet. This Chakra is considered to be the highest chakra and access to the Divine and Universal consciousness.

So, it makes sense why Jennifer was easily able to witness this, as she was already in sync with its vibrational frequency. It would appear that Neville was reaching out from a spiritual context and in her peaceful meditation she was there at the perfect moment and state of mind to receive his communication to her, as well as his communion with God.

The spiritual signs and synchronicities that Jennifer received are very obvious. Recognizing that the blue she saw was significant, she left a blue bottle on the ledge. This indicated that she got Neville’s spiritual communication on a spiritual level. When he flew in her home as a bird to land on the blue bottle, he verified that this profound experience was real. This was no coincidence. But please tell me. How many birds do you see flying at night, no less inside your home to land on the very thing you put out for them to land on?

But, just ignoring that, how often will a bird in the wild allow you to pick it up to hold for a bit before sending it on its way? And then it flies in once more? What are the odds? There is no doubt that this was Neville celebrating his flight of release with his sister who, having worked with wounded animals, would understand this so well.

Lastly, it would seem that Neville had chosen to be a bird for a bit. Perhaps this was because he and his sister spent time rehabilitating birds when they were younger. This would allow Jennifer, if she had any doubt whatsoever, to know for certain Neville was communicating that he is good, happy and free from the wounds that plagued him in his life. And, although he dearly loved those he left behind, he felt his wounds were far too great to be mended and had to fly to the world beyond. His sign to Jennifer said it all. This bird had now been rehabilitated.

Even though, to our physical senses, we may think of our departed loved ones as gone, from a higher perspective, they are always here with us, guiding and loving us from beyond. This is why a deep spiritual foundation is so helpful. With it, we are more sensitive to our spiritual side and journey. We are more calm and peaceful in general.

But, when a tragedy strikes, we have a greater understanding, and even knowledge that this life is just a pit stop in the whole scheme of things. That maybe, there is a larger chain of events to look at- a much larger perspective that we don’t always understand in the moment. Until we do. And often, it is trust and faith that does the heavy lifting. But like the physical eyes from which we see, trust and faith become our spiritual eyes when all seems so dim. 

Path: Ben Kerckx/Pixabay

Path: Ben Kerckx/Pixabay

What I know is that our departed loved ones are still with and very much aware of us. That’s what love would do. And often, in their pure spiritual form it is far easier for them to help us with our worldly needs, as well as the spiritual things that really matter in the end, as we travel the path that we are meant to take. All paths lead to our spiritual blossoming and evolution as we grow ever closer to the source of our existence.

May you always have comfort, peace and joy on that journey.

A Poem written by Jennifer to her beloved brother, Neville.

My brother was small in stature but his heart was as big as the sky,
We so wanted him to stay here.. but ours is not to question Why?
Our hearts felt so torn that day ..we didn’t get to say goodbye
As he freed himself from this world and finally, found a way to fly.

We still feel his gentle spirit …. yet his soul has found embrace.
May he always be at peace as he moves on to a brighter place.
We may not understand, as our tears are overflowing …
Yet none of us could realize just how much his pain was growing.

When we were young together, we found beauty in simple things
,
Rescuing birds, insects, tiny bats, trying to repair their broken wings.
Sometimes we would see that their journey here had ended,
 and that, Not everything you SEE or HOLD can easily be mended.
As we laid those fragile creatures down, we hugged each other tight,
 and although their lives were cut short, we knew everything was alright.

I imagine that there is a Heaven, maybe you mend the Angel’s wings?
I can see you there, you’ve grown your hair,
there is beauty in such things.
……

Shortly after you departed …a bird flew into my room ,
It sat with me for a moment, it seemed to take away my gloom ..
It flew outside again so I thought that it had gone ,
but it returned a moment later which gave me strength to carry on .

I understood at that moment that even though you’d left our lives,
you’ll remain in our hearts forever ….it helped me to realize ..
The people who we love ……they really Never go away.
They just slip inside our hearts and help us ,each and every day.

When I think of you …THE OCEAN ,THE SKY ,they always come to mind,
The peace they gave …as you were engulfed in BLUE
Was where you could leave your worries behind.
In my dreams I watch you sail away …..and I see you soaring free,
throughout the skies and up to the stars as you leave that wondrous sea.

Now at this moment as we are those …that are all engulfed in blue,
we can picture your kite sailing freely, Soaring ….as you were meant to do.
So, as the pain arises and tears flow SALTY from our eyes,
We can smile and remember you flying freely… with your heart as big as the SKY.

Forever in our hearts, Jenni

Hugging a Departed Loved One

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After Jan repeatedly asked her departed mother for a hug, her heart’s desire is realized. Twice!

The Twilight Bridge

The Twilight Bridge

Jan writes:
“I had a couple of “dreams” again of my mom, but I am not sure if it was a regular dream or a “twilight bridge” dream. What I wrote to you before in “The Twilight Bridge” post were definitely not dreams. That much was obvious.”

“Now, I will try and explain my question to you. I had said out loud for many weeks that I wanted to hug mom. Then, I had two different dreams. Both were in the same setting, it seemed outside somewhere, not here in the house. It was like I drifted into an outdoor area where my mom was socializing with some people. She noticed me, smiled and greeted me with these people around her. It seemed like she was by a car. In trying to make sense of it all, I thought we were going on one of our short trips for the weekend or maybe we were there already.”

“Although there were a few other people with her, I could not see faces as they were more like shadows. My mom seemed much brighter, easy to see I mean, and very close.  I was right there with her and she seemed happy, smiling, enjoying chatting with people. Relatives? I do not know but that was really all there was to it.  Then, I must have woken up.”

“The next time I had this dream, it was the exact same place…. same people and situation, except my mom’s light around her seemed brighter and she was in color while everything else was a darker colorless shade. My mom was very clear. She had her pink fuzzy bathrobe on- she definitely stood out among the other shadows of people there. I went to her and hugged her. She never said anything to me but she was smiling and seemed happy. Then, I must have woken up.”

“When I woke that morning, I remembered it clearly and the feeling of hugging and being freshly hugged still lingered. I mean, could have been my imagination or not, but somehow, I felt like I had hugged her close. I had felt her, I had hugged her for real.”

“Anyway, this may not be anything… maybe just a wishful dream as it was outside the house in a different setting. So I have been thinking it was just a dream. It did not last long. Nothing happened really except I met my mom for a short time and felt her presence plus she was smiling (which I am glad of)”.

“So, I guess sometimes it may be hard to distinguish a dream from something else?”

Commentary- Because of the spiritual visitation experience spectrum that spans anywhere from ‘nuanced” to ‘blow your socks off’ obvious, it can be hard to distinguish a dream from a visitation, although this was clearly a visitation… except it was Jan that was doing the visiting.

Space, Place or State of Mind?

While “The Twilight Bridge” is considered a neutral meeting “place” or “space” between this realm and the next realm, where we sometimes go to meet our loved ones, “The Twilight Bridge” is also experienced as a state of mind or place of spirit and not necessarily an actual place. But having said this, it could also be experienced as an actual place. What was different about this experience from Jan’s experience at “The Twilight Bridge” is that Jan didn’t meet her mother at the bridge, she went over the bridge to where her mom was in another realm.

Entering another realm Pixabay: Jplenio

Entering another realm Pixabay: Jplenio

What makes this so?

The fact that Jan felt herself drifting (a thing of the spirit) into another space, an outdoor space, which represents somewhere other than where Jan’s life normally play out. The outdoor setting Jan describes is a metaphor for… another location besides here at my house… or where I live in this Earthly realm.

Jan’s mom was seen thriving in her new community of people, smiling, happy and certainly aware because she saw Jan, as if she was waiting for her to visit. She was. The car represents travel, reminding Jan of their prior weekend trips, as well as, pointing to, that this is a possibility of a new way to spend time together for short trips now.

Jan notices how much clearer and even brighter in the second visitation that her mother appeared compared to those around her. The explanation here is that the other people around her were not considered the focal point, her mother was being that Jan asked to see and hug her mom again. The other people in the experience, sort of seen/not seen are clearly not the most important take away, although it does point to her newfound acclimation, happiness and a community that she enjoys in her current realm.

Having the same dream twice is sort of like saying to Jan, “If you don’t believe I heard you about seeing me to get a hug, I did. To prove it, here is the second dream with even more certainty, clarity and brighter colors!  I’m at home here. I’m even wearing my bright pink bathrobe. You will recognize me immediately, can’t miss me!” In other words, she heard Jan loud and clear.

Why we doubt, dismiss and discount spiritual visitations

It’s really common to dismiss a spiritual visitation as an ordinary dream since it doesn’t always make perfect sense. Sometimes it is abstract or unclear. Often, we are afraid to believe our experience because… what if it were just our imagination and not really so?

We don’t want to be the fool. We don’t want to get our hopes up only to be let down again, which would only add to our hurt of seeming to live a life alone without them now.

However, why doubt, dismiss and discount first when having these experiences, then, have to be convinced of their validity? Given that we can react the way we want (sometimes), why not look and listen to your experience of what it is trying to tell you? Why not look and listen for the possibility of spiritual visitations/after-death communications, signs and messages from beyond?

These spiritual communications are so precious but they are fragile and fleeting. We must believe these special gifts from heaven are completely possible and probable and to see it as such. We must gather these seeds of faith and nurture them and perhaps they will grow into profoundly meaningful experiences that will tide us over throughout our lives.

So what if we don’t understand everything or it’s abstract and unclear? So what if we make a fool of ourselves but we see special spiritual things that physical eyes can’t or won’t see? And, so what if we get our hopes up? Take the hopeful message from the visitation and use it for comfort.

The Takeaway

There is a lot that happened in Jan’s experience with her mother. There is a lot of information to glean from it for Jan to hold as precious in her heart, mind and soul. But perhaps, most importantly… Jan’s heartfelt desire to hug her mom again was heard and realized. A hug that lingers is a real hug that follows us back over the bridge to this plane of existence. Jan got to hug her mom again!  Yes, it was a real hug, Jan!

Love survives and thrives beyond the grave. Your mother still lives, and loves you… and when the time is right, you will reunite together in a way that brings you both the greatest joy, leaving all sadness behind.

For more after-death communications click here.

Another realm- Pixabay: Thomas Skirde

Another realm- Pixabay: Thomas Skirde

Visitations Through the Portal

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One night last Christmas time, while making her rounds in the hospital, Linda notices something very interesting in the hospital safety mirror. 

Linda writes:
“This past December of 2020, marked 3 months since the transitioning from this earthly realm of the only man I ever truly deeply loved since I was 25 years old. Due to circumstances in each of our lives we could not be together, but we share a beautiful daughter, and love between us never ended and never will.”

“I was really struggling and in so much sorrow and pain. And although I was so very blessed as to receive some very special signs/communication from him, I just could not seem to find at times, my way out of that deep dark place of loss.”

Safety Mirror at hospital

Safety Mirror at hospital

“I am a nurse on an inpatient mental health unit and I work night shift, which entails making 15 minute checks on each patient all through the night for safety. There are 2 curved mirrors in the hallway which are there to increase range of view in hallway, also for safety’s sake. I have worked here for 7 years, so you can imagine how many times I have passed those mirrors, seeing the usual reflection of the surroundings and myself as I pass by.”

 

“However, this past December, during the week after Christmas, when I passed by there, something was so different that it caught my attention. I saw what looked like a dull whitish/grayish blurred image of a figure dancing around. The lights are dimmed at night in hallways to promote better sleep for the patients. So mirror images are darker at night. But there was definite movement that evening. Then, as I kept passing it during the night, and subsequent nights, there was also an image of twinkling lights in a shape of a Christmas tree.”

Alcove

Alcove

“I was sure my grief had now literally driven me crazy and I was hallucinating. Over the next few weeks, the images continued of a figure dancing around and more lights – sometimes, beams or little balls of light, sometimes glitter and sparkles and couple of times in shape of a little lasso. In the mirror, they appear behind, around and with me in the dark alcove. They were occasionally shooting out of the reflected image in mirror into the hallway floor and wall. ”

“I did not tell anyone at first, then decided, of course, I must tell Jade. She reassured me that it was not insanity. I did not see this anywhere else. I did not at first associate this with my Beloved because it seemed too fanciful and he was not a sparkle and glitter type of guy who would be dancing around shooting balls of light!  But, more recently, when I began to go through a particularly rough patch of longing and despondency at Easter (which held significance for us), there was an additional feature.”

“When these images appeared reflected in the mirror, sometimes a lot, sometimes a little, in my peripheral vision, there began to be a dark shadow appear, almost like a cloud shape, close beside my face. It was not at all scary, in fact, it felt warm like a little hug.”

“Then, I knew, it was him creating the wondrous light show for my benefit – something to cheer me up, lighten my grief, literally with lights and something fun and frivolous filled with glitter and sparkles that I love so much. And just to be scientific, there is no other source of light in that hallway – no other lighting fixtures or no windows or any other source of light that could be casting reflections of light from any other outside source.”

“Some might say, “Perhaps you have an eye disease/disorder”, but even though such a thing is possible to some extent, it would not be happening only in this setting and it’s not consistent.”

“Before his passing, we would talk each night just before I walked into the hospital and this was one of the most special times when we would talk. I longed for this constantly and although I still long for and miss his voice and those conversations, I know I will most likely be visited by him in this new and special way, and the bond, the love, the support, the relationship goes on forever.”

Commentary- When Linda finally had courage enough to mention to me this unusual, repeated experience that she was having, I recognized the phenomenon right away. I read about it years ago and, being curious, I thought about trying it for myself several times to see what would happen but never did.

Although Linda might have thought, because she was “seeing things” that she was either going crazy, sleep deprived, bereaved or was having an eye issue, the truth is Linda was actually seeing things in and around the mirror. She just happened upon it by accident that night that she noticed.

Throughout history, people of all races and belief systems have used mirrors, glass, steam, smoke, shiny things and still water surfaces as a method in which to catch a glimpse of their loved ones in the afterlife. Like Linda, sometimes it was an accidental discovery and sometimes it was a planned method to get a much needed relief. It just depended on the people and what was known and practiced.

Anyone who has lost a loved one knows that deep-rooted gnawing desire to experience a departed loved one once again. The loss and longing are intense. This desire is at the heart of our love. Many times this desire compels us to attempt to connect in whatever way seems possible whether it be through a Medium or some other way.

Although it might seem unbelievable to some, throughout time, others have gone ahead with what seemed impossible, to try to satisfy this desire.

Some history of this phenomenon 

  • As I was researching this subject, I came upon a 2019 Dissertation, Mirrors as Portals: Image of Mirrors on Ancient Maya Ceramics by Julie Rogers. In her research, she mentions that the Maya believed in mirrors, water surfaces and shiny stones as a way to connect to other spiritual realms. This is even reflected heavily in their Hieroglyphics and ceramics found today. To them, these surfaces were considered to be a window for Spiritual beings to look in on humans. I guess it’s like T.V. for the Gods to watch us.
  • The Greek’s Necromanteum or Oracles of the Dead, was a well known place full of ritual and preparation performed to be able to go deep within this Greek Temple to connect with departed loved ones. Many found it helpful and healing, even thought others claimed it to be a gimmick.
  • Dr. Raymond Moody is a famous Medical Doctor and recorder of thousands of near-death experiences, even coining that term, and an Author and Speaker. At one point in his life, Dr. Moody became so fascinated in the ancient Greek tradition of reuniting with the dead, he studied the ancient version of the Necromanteum and came up with his own version for the bereaved to experience at his country home. With a comfortable chair, mirror placed just right, dim lighting and an all day ritual of focusing on their departed loved one, many people were able to go into this modern day Psychomenteum to experience a connection with their loved one. What made this really powerful was that, as a subject participating in this method, the result many people would experience by receiving this manifestation, was profound healing effects. No one was afraid when they entered in and waited for their departed loved ones. The experience seemed very real, comforting and natural to these folks.
  • Among the many peoples of the Earth for which this was a tradition, some Native American groups I read about had their own methods of breaching the portal from this world into the next. For many peoples, these shiny surfaces, especially that of a mirror was a way to travel into other realms.
  • Some belief systems use mirrors as symbolism of eternity or a life that has no beginning or no ending and that it’s all just one big eternal life.

Other common examples that these reflective surfaces have been viewed as portals into another realm

  • I’m sure many have heard the story of Abraham Lincoln, just after election, while looking in the mirror saw two reflections of himself: one looked normal, the other ghostly. While he tried to show his wife this spectacle, which appeared a few other times, she was never around when it happened. This story points to a mirror vision. One that tried to warn him about his impending death.
  • When someone sends me an image of an indoor orb, I notice that sometimes that orb can be seen as though it entered through an open window or door. Sometimes even a mirror is around. Not every time, but it has given me pause to wonder.
  • When people leave us to cross over, often, through near-death experiences, we hear that a portal will appear to open up for them to pass through, allowing them access into this different and new realm. Similar to a wormhole this could be like an actual method of transportation to jump dimensions and realms.
  • Seers can also be seen as looking through the mirror for you, if you can’t… or don’t think you can develop the skills to do so. These people are also known as Mediums. While there are some good and real ones out there, how do you really know which ones? How will you know that they can connect with your loved one? This is why I always encourage people who ask me about getting a Medium, to look into the portal for themselves. It happens all the time.

So what does this have to do with Linda’s experience? Well, I immediately realized that Linda was experiencing this particular shiny surface phenomenon. Although we don’t completely understand how it works. Although it may seem weird or spooky, Linda is neither freaked out or afraid. It was just something she was experiencing. She never got a bad feeling about it, even though she didn’t know how it was possible. It was just Thellis blowing her mind with his gifts.

Linda knows that she was/is not making this up. Have you ever noticed that when a spiritual experience is encountered, that it just happens out of nowhere? Even if you were to go back to recreate it or try to create another one, you can’t. It is either there or it’s not there, no matter how hard you try. My point is… these unexplained spiritual experiences really happen. While you are in awe, you might as well enjoy the wonder of them, right?

Sometimes, Linda is really in the mood to experience her loved one’s light show for her in the mirror… but it doesn’t always happen, no matter how hopeful she is to make it so. This, to her, lets her know that this is happening independently of her. When it does happen, sometimes the activity is light and sometimes dramatic. Sometimes there are more bells and whistles and super sparkly. Sometimes it is bright, sometimes more dim. 

Linda has come to realize that this is her dear loved one, Thellis, the love of her life and soulmate, trying to make his presence known while trying to say with the lit Christmas tree, “Merry Christmas!” “Happy Easter and new beginnings!” with all the bright and sparkly things she loves to brighten up her life. “I’m right next to you with the shadow that leaves the portal to be by her side.” And, my favorite, the lasso… hoping to rope her into knowing this is real and all for her. It’s like she gets to watch T.V. at work!

Hey, I’ve written commentaries on spiritual phenomena for a long time now. Nothing surprises me anymore. Plus, it doesn’t hurt that I have experienced many of them for myself. Being an open-minded skeptic, having varied personal experience of these is a necessity for me to know the truth of them but also, to even begin to explain them to others.

As far as after-death communications, some people are visited by their departed loved ones in dreams, some through blinking lights or other electronic methods, some through orbs, birds, flying insects and other animals. Then there are those who actually get a phone call from their loved one, or they see them materialize, or hear their voice out loud or in a song. There are literal signs, messages left (literal and metaphorical) for us to realize in the most obvious places. There is a lot of extraordinary evidence our loved ones give us to let us know they are around. Why couldn’t this visitation happen through a portal in a mirror?

Linda's description of movement

Linda’s description of movement

Linda's description of what appears in the alcove

Linda’s description of what appears in the alcove

Healings From Our Departed

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While Melisa is sick and scared and unsure of what to do, Grandma mysteriously appears and miraculously heals her ailments.

Melisa writes:
“I am trying to make sense of an experience that I had several months ago and am not able to find any similar experiences online and am interested in trying to find out if others have seen the same thing as I have.”

“One night I felt feverish with chills, so I went into my closet and put on a robe that used to be my grandmother’s robe that she gave to me. I went back to bed but was unable to sleep. I began to feel more ill and was so scared that I might die because my heart was beating so fast and I was silently crying. I was on the verge of waking my husband who was sleeping next to me and ask him to take me to the ER.”

“It was right at this point that I saw my grandmother hovering over the foot of my bed in a white flowing gown looking down at me. I then saw a large black shadow appear over my body and I felt it push down on my shoulders. Then suddenly, I was no longer ill or scared and felt completely calm. I then saw a bright light in my left peripheral vision. I looked to the left where there was a golden glowing hummingbird sitting on my husband’s pillow. The golden glow of this mesmerizing hummingbird was so intense that I stared at it for what seemed like several minutes. When I turned my head back to see my grandmother, she was gone and when I looked back to see the hummingbird, it was gone as well.”

“I have only told a select few about my experience because when I mentioned it to a colleague of mine, she told me that I was hallucinating because I must have had a high fever. However, I know that it was real and the few people that I have told, it was to give them hope that we really do live on.”

“I am most interested in finding out if others have seen a similar hummingbird or a shadow that healed them. Thank you for any guidance you can offer.”

Commentary- Because of their special nature, spiritual experiences can sometimes be difficult to make sense of. With this one, there are a few different things going on. 

Suffering with worsening chills and fever, Melisa is sick and getting sicker. She even gets to the point of being afraid for her life. She is wide awake, crying and in need of help. At this point, things are so serious, Melisa is even wondering whether she should wake her husband to rush her to the E.R.

Suddenly, as she is snuggly wrapped like a hug in Grandma’s robe, it is no coincidence that Grandma appears at the foot of her bed. She is dressed in a white flowing gown which is typical of how a Guardian Angel may appear, signifying purity. (My hunch is that Grandma is a Guardian Angel to Melisa, watching over her in her times of need. This time was an emergency.)

You’ll notice that Grandma is very much aware of Melisa’s serious condition. Grandma knows that Melisa can see her, and witness the remarkable healing that is taking place that would end in nothing short of miraculous. Melisa was meant to experience this spiritual experience as authentic, as well as who was behind it. Grandma wanted Melisa to know this and all it implies about the amazing possibilities in the spiritual realms.

Although the black shadow could represent something dark, it could also represent something unknown or obscured from one’s view, that drew out Melisa’s sickness from her under Grandma’s watch. Melisa was left calm and well from the experience. There was no fear or illness left behind. Melisa was completely healed from her ordeal. This tells me that this method of healing was a matter of light.

As a spiritual signature left for Melisa from Grandma, a cute glowing golden hummingbird appears in which to mesmerize Melisa. However, if she didn’t before believe in an afterlife, Melisa sure had the proof to believe it now.

Not everyone is going to believe an experience like this without seeing it for oneself. And then… there are those who still doubt the reality of it even though the result was miraculous. It was easy for a co-worker to dismiss this sacred experience as a fever induced hallucination. It’s the physical brain’s first logical conclusion. But, just because you were feverish, it does not necessarily mean you were hallucinating. And what if you were? You can still see spiritual things that are real during hallucinations… maybe even better! And even without a fever, people commonly experience spiritual things they can’t explain. It’s called spiritual vision. It happens. 

Hummingbird (Pixabay)Oberhol Ster Venita

Hummingbird (Pixabay) Oberhol Ster Venita

About the significance of the hummingbird as after-death communications. Hummingbirds in all forms are a common after-death communication from loved ones who have passed away. They are winged ones who have a high vibrational frequency. Many believe a visit from a hummingbird is a message from a heavenly source, one of healing, hope, peace and comfort that everything will be fine. The glow of the hummingbird seems to double down that this is an extra spiritual experience. The golden glowing hummingbird was Melisa’s grandmother’s calling card as if to say, “Heaven is really amazing… even miraculous beyond all your dreams!”

The Twilight Bridge

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After her mother’s recent passing, a sorrowful Jan, is repeatedly visited by her mother on the Twilight Bridge.

Jan writes:
“It is difficult to find anywhere to ask this question and it has bothered me since my Mom passed away a year ago. I had been living with mom for about 8 years and helping her to live in her home. She was 99 years old and fell while I was with her and did not recover. So, I do feel guilt, but everyone tells me it is not my fault.”

“After she passed (I live in her home), I was half-asleep. She came into the bedroom. I saw her in my mind, very clear. My eyes were closed and I wanted to wake up but my body felt frozen. I saw her distinctly for about 3 seconds and immediately woke up.”

“The next month, I was still very upset when a similar thing happened. I was half-asleep and saw her in my mind come into the bedroom, sit in a chair and look at me, sort of like she was comforting me. I called out to her and immediately woke up.”

“Then again, another time, I heard her call my name while I was sleeping. In front of my face was a large pad of paper and a hand was writing on it, but I could not read it and again woke up.”

“This last week, (still very sad) I heard her ask me “What is the matter?” I heard myself speak out loud, “I am sad.” I don’t think I was in a deep sleep.”

“These do not seem like any regular dreams I’ve had. In fact, I don’t usually remember my dreams. I guess I really need to believe it is her but at the same time I am skeptical. I don’t know what to make of it all. I read that grief plays tricks on your mind and it is just the trauma of grief and not really the deceased person. My greatest wish is that it is really my mom and she is with me. That would calm me.”

Commentary- There is a stage of sleep we pass through as we begin to fully awaken. This stage is often associated with the memory of having vivid dreams, experiencing curious occurrences and a feeling of such realness, that it can leave one wondering what the heck just happened and what it all means. I call this stage the Twilight Bridge, for reasons I will explain.

Although I had certainly experienced this phenomenon before in my life and chalked it up as interesting, it didn’t become tremendously fascinating until after I had lost loved ones to death. It was only then that a pattern formed, when my departed would, many times, come to visit me there at the Twilight Bridge.

I call it the Twilight Bridge because it is that magical space between dimensions that connects a more liquid, lucid dream-like world to our solid, fixed waking world. It didn’t take me long to realize that, if I experienced a visitation with my departed loved one during this magical lucid stage, and especially if they were giving me some detailed information, which only happened on occasion, I only had minutes to write it down before the message quickly faded with the waking up to my daily world. Of course, I would remember the gist of what happened, but in thinking I would remember what happened so clearly later, to write it down, was a lesson in which I could never recover those complete fresh details ever again.

While deep in my grief, I would love to sleep, just for the possibility of a Twilight Bridge experience and what I would learn from it. I even trained myself, to the extent that I could, to monitor my dreams for visitations. I would practice lucidity and awareness. For instance, once I was aware that I was experiencing lucidity, I would train myself to look all around me to see what was there. To my surprise, I would often find departed loved ones right at the periphery of my awareness.

Sometimes the visitations were visual and aural with touch, like a regular visit with someone in this realm. Sometimes the visits were just auditory. But the voice was clear enough to not deny. There were times I was left with the memory of a feeling that something big and important had just happened. And… sometimes the messages would be more abstract and I would have to feel into the experience to decipher its true message.  But, whatever it was, it didn’t matter. It was one more chance to be with my loved one again in a way that was very real. Sometimes… even more real than in this physical realm. 

Having had my fair share of Out-of-Body Experiences, I did have the experience of actually meeting my loved ones in the space, part-way, between two worlds during that twilight time or twilight sleep stage. There was even one time when, while visiting with a deceased friend, I began to awaken, only to realize that I couldn’t move my body for a few minutes until I completely returned. At least that is exactly what it felt like to me.

I’m not even saying that we are meeting on an actual bridge somewhere. And maybe we are.  I am saying that the twilight state, in and of itself, seems to be the space for us to meet up between realms. And, that’s why I call it the Twilight Bridge. It’s a joy to experience.

Besides having these experiences during the twilight state where Jan would have the experience of being with her mother, she would also hear and see her as well. Although Jan was in a sleep state, she was on the Twilight Bridge. Jan was seeing with her spiritual eyes. Some people refer to them as the Third eye Chakra, others would say they were the eyes of the spirit. 

It’s funny but, we tend to think that using our physical eyes is where it’s at, as far as giving us information. Of course we would, dwelling in this physical realm. That’s what we are used to. But consider this. It is possible that we can actually see more sometimes, when our physical eyes are closed. We see some of the things the physical eyes might never see because of what the physical brain filters out as irrelevant to physical survival. Eyes closed in a particular meditative state makes it possible to connect more deeply with our spiritual self – a good self to know.

Learning to see with spiritual eyes has such value. Of course, your brain may not know what to think of it. And, that’s why people will doubt their spiritual experiences. Eventually, the brain that has no idea how to explain these things away, slowly begins to accept these unusual occurrences as legitimate experiences. 

Skepticism can be a good thing. Being cautious and even a little bit suspicious keeps us from being deceived in life and is considered useful to our brain for survival in our day to day experience. Also, filtering out what it thinks is irrelevant material, like it does, the brain might consider this spiritual stuff as made up fluff. Truth is… for many people, the brain has little use for a wild goose chase beyond the five physical senses. But… just because our finite brain doesn’t always understand or comprehend the spiritual stuff, it doesn’t mean it is not a “real” experience.

As far as Jan’s example of the traumatized brain playing tricks on one by re-creating departed loved ones? I have seen plenty of spiritual phenomena, including departed beings, while I was and was not traumatized by grief. It’s a thing! If it were true that grief-traumatized beings could hallucinate their departed loved one into existence… then why doesn’t it happen to the bereaved all the time? Honestly, you can’t manufacture an after-death communication. You can only provide the best space for it to occur.

It is common for a caretaker to feel guilty for one thing or another. As for Jan, the reality is that it was not your fault that your mother fell. I’m just impressed that your mother was still walking around at 99 years of age!

Also, your dreams were not regular dreams. They were vivid, distinct, memorable, remarkable and more real that the average non-sensical dreams. Your mother was definitely reaching out to you, repeatedly, just in case you had any doubts. Your mother doesn’t want you to feel guilty about her fall and that is was her time to go. She is at peace and out of pain. Your mother wanted you to know that and to comfort you in your sorrow over her passing. She has gone to great effort to show you that she is watching over you. The good news is that you are sensitive enough to allow her connection. 

The great thing is she let you know, for a certainty, that she lives. She survived the grave. She called your name so it would be clear to you that she was really with you and was really talking to you. The hand writing on paper represented the continued contact by your mother, in case you had any doubts of what she was doing. If there was an important message she was trying to leave you that you could not read, she would have made that message very clear. That part of that demonstration was abstract.

Now, since these amazing Twilight Bridge experiences don’t happen all the time, actually they do but we just don’t remember them, it is important for us to know that just because we don’t consciously see, hear, feel or experience them in some way, don’t for one moment think they don’t happen and that our departed loved ones are not present in our everyday lives. We only experience spiritual phenomena when we do and when there is a clear space for it to happen.

The only thing I would advise for anyone to do differently is to not “try” to wake up. Do not immediately engage in the physical world. In doing so, you are not only engaging the conscious brain with your return to this solid and fixed realm, but more importantly, you are pulling yourself out of the glorious, lucid space of your connection with your mom on the bridge. You have connected so many times with her in the space on the Twilight Bridge, already. Next time, stay there a little longer in that bliss to see what else happens.

In the meantime, trust your experiences. They are yours. 

A Representation of the Twilight Bridge

A Representation of the Twilight Bridge (Image by Pixabay)

The Medicine That Is Hope

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Just when all seems lost, a distressed Linda cries out to her beloved, Thellis, for help and receives it in a most unexpected and delightful way. 

Linda writes:
“I had not been on my game since just before Christmas. Slipping down into the deep end of the latest emotional abyss. There was something below, pulling on me, as I continued hanging on to the metaphorical life preserver of my grief.  Even amidst my grief, I would feel pretty darn good, calm and breathing air and all, then all of a sudden under water, swimming in emotion and struggling to get back up to save myself from drowning in my sorrow.”

“I found myself wanting to be reassured that nothing was wrong with feeling this way. That there was no problem with it. That this was all a normal part of the grief process, 
because to me, it looked all wrong, like it was a huge problem and I was feeling insane once again.”

“For a few nights before I left my house to visit my daughter who lives in another state, I kept waking up – two nights in a row, repeatedly throughout the night with immediate feelings of dread. The tidal wave of thoughts were so horrific that I not only felt bad emotionally, but physically as well. At the time, I could not see how I could keep doing anything like I normally would. How would I be able to drive hours to meet her? When I got back, how would I be able to go to work, pretend I was okay when I wasn’t at all? How could I pay my bills, look around for new place to live? How could I go on, not being able to stand myself in the state of mind I was in?”

“Looking at my life going forward, it was hard to see my way in such a dark gray, shabby world, with no ability to look forward to anything, enjoy anything, much less find a purpose to all this grief over the recent loss of my love, Thellis.”

“The recent torment I was experiencing, was all because I had hit some kind of strange wall of both physical and mental exhaustion that was making me have great difficulty putting one literal and metaphorical foot in front of the other. And worst of all, I was afraid I was going to forget how he looks and the sound of his voice. I always loved his voice.”

“It took everything in me to just finish packing and carry my things to my car. With all my strength, I said out loud to Thellis, “I want and need your help!” I didn’t know what Thellis would do to help me, but I knew there had to be a  part of him that wanted me to not be scared and hurting like this — and to enjoy my upcoming time with my daughter… our daughter, Marijo.”

Mourning Doves

Mourning Doves

“Now, I need to share a back story first before continuing. As I pondered my after-death communications from Thellis, I hoped that one of these days there would be an actual physical object showing up on this planet, that was so obvious, that there could be no doubt, even from a stranger’s viewpoint, that would be too amazing to explain away. I needed some solid proof, something tangible, but that had not happened yet. 
I had thought, and even said out loud over past 3 1/2 months, that I knew it could not be a dove, of course. The reason is because I’ve never seen one up here in my neck of the woods and certainly not now that it’s winter, but still reasoned that it sure would be nice since there was such a strong association of doves and Thellis. You see, Thellis loved those sweet mourning doves so much and the cooing noise they would make. He would imitate them sometimes during our conversations. So even though it could never be that, maybe it could be something else just as obvious to me.”

“So, now back to my current story. After I trudged to my car with my belongings and put them in the car, got in my car and was wishing that he would just touch me… immediately, for next couple of minutes, I felt as if a feather was tickling my face as I pulled out of my driveway. I even brushed my hand across my face to feel if something was there. Nothing was there but the feeling of a feather tickling around my face.”

“Then, as I drove out of out my neighborhood, to my complete surprise, I suddenly saw in the middle of my street- a flock of doves!  I’m so mad I didn’t take a picture but I was so stunned and remained that way- I didn’t even think of it. After all, it was below zero and still snow on the ground and I had never seen any doves since living here for the past 7 years. As if that was not enough, 15 miles down the highway, I pulled off to go to a convenience store. When I pulled into park, in my rear view mirror, that were 2 doves standing in a grassy area by the store. I was so happy. I immediately knew this was from him!”

“What happened next, I didn’t think possible. Immediately my physical and mental energy was restored. I was calm, peaceful, sane and hope was on the horizon that the future would not always be a cold, flat and colorless world. And now, more than anything, an absolute knowing that he was right there beside me and that we were and are eternally connected. With this experience I could see, at least a glimpse, of how something beautiful could be born out of this nightmarish pain of grieving.”

“I thought, “Maybe I could survive it after all and even help somebody else someday who was experiencing this kind of suffering. I just needed to trust the process, God and myself and refrain from beating myself up when I find myself in these emotional tidal waves that throw me to and fro in a full array of emotional insecurity when all of the sudden I’ve lost hope- as I did before Thellis helped me with the doves.”

Commentary- Anyone who has done some serious grieving is all too familiar with the frequent plunges into the deep end of the emotional sea of grief. The pain of grief is persistent, pervasive and anxiety producing, to say the least, as one constantly struggles to stay afloat. At times, the feeling of being so overwhelmed with the fear and panic of imminent devastation, can feel like the possibility of being swept up and carried out to sea. Just one lost soul out there in a sea of pain just trying to survive against the power and strength of relentless emotional waves. Sometimes, even emotional tidal waves of pain.

Yes. Grief can feel like this. Depending on your range of feeling, one might really identify with the above description. To some, this does not seem dramatic, but very familiar. It hurts, it’s devastating and there is little to do when one realizes that they are at the mercy of a grueling grief process that seems to have its’ own mind. Controlling the grief process? What’s that?

Lost boat in rough waters

Lost boat in rough waters

Processing deep grief can be so scary and dark, with many ups and downs and feelings of hopelessness and being out of control. It’s like being in a boat out to sea, alone and lost in stormy weather, with no way to know how to find your way back to the safety of saneness and stability. No, you just have to deal with each new emotional wave that crests.

There are some brief moments of reprieve, where one thinks they are out of the chaos of that storm, only to be reminded that, at least at the beginning of the grief process, those moments do happen at times, but are fleeting before disruption occurs once more. The good news is that relief becomes more and more of a constant as time and perspective gives way to healing. 

Although the grief process is commonly filled with a great degree of pain and despair, if there are suicidal thoughts, especially thoughts that include a suicidal plan, immediately seek help. Here is a link for my resources and emergency page for reference. For sure, deep grief is not for sissies. Keep processing though, find support because healing eventually happens. It really does just take time.

Grieving at such depth can bring up every insecurity possible, every fear. The chaos of grief can make one feel insane at times, too. Grief can cause physical and mental torment and exhaustion as Linda has described, enough to where she began to see a world without color, a life with no future, no purpose or meaning and therefore; no point to living. The loss of a loved one is sometimes so traumatic that it can occur like an assault, causing one to give up on any hope, whatsoever.

But then, something happened when Linda, in her weary state, reached out to ask Thellis for help. Thellis, knowing of her condition and plea began to answer. First the tickle of a bird feather around her face, followed by a lovely bouquet of many doves. It wasn’t as though these doves were off flying somewhere when she saw them, or that they were off on the side of the road, in the moment she needed it most, they were exactly, literally in her path! And, if the doves weren’t enough by themselves, she got the precursor of the tickle to let her know something was up.

What a special gift from Thellis, who gave Linda exactly what she wished for, but didn’t think possible. To Linda, this was nothing less than amazing that the doves she hadn’t seen in 7 years were right there before her. Doves that Thellis happened to love. The doves that were the physical proof she wanted to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that Thellis really does hear her, loves her and is there by her side.

But even with all those miracles, among them is the medicine of hope. Before Thellis’s signature gift to her, Linda was barely functioning. She was struggling, low in energy, in pain and in desperate need of help. After Thellis’s signature gift? Linda was restored to a vibrant, pain-free, energetic and excited self. Linda was completely healed in that moment that her hope was renewed. 

The medicine of hope is powerful. In Linda’s experience of receiving the signs she asked for, when she was at her very lowest and with the medicine of hope, Linda was instantly made whole. Immediately restored by her experience was the possibility of a life with color, a future  ahead of her, a purpose to serve others in deep pain, meaning, and a point to the living of that life. It’s amazing how hope can heal so quickly and thoroughly.

Our departed loved ones are with us. They may not always be able to show us, but they are. They are connected to our thoughts and feelings. They are connected to our lives. They are here to watch over and to help us through this life.  And, in time, we will be reunited with them. When that happens, there will be no more need to hope. There will be no more need for tears. With the joy from our reunion, our wishes and prayers will forever be answered.

Hope. Follow the Light on your path.

Hope. Follow the Light on your path.

Death From a Scientific Perspective

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An interesting scientific article, about the death of a loved one, offers a surprisingly encouraging and comforting perspective about afterlife existence.

Several years ago while grieving the loss of her husband, Jason, Lynda stumbled upon this NPR interview. She found it extremely comforting in a very fundamental way. Recently, Lynda shared this article with me. I found it so clear and amazing that I wanted to share it forward to those it might help to show that, in some ways, science and faith can interface in the best of ways. Hopefully, this interview will somehow assist in the comfort and healing of your loss.

Source:  NPR All Things Considered- 2015.
Host, Michele Norris and Guest, Commentator- Aaron Freeman, have the following conversation.

MICHELE NORRIS, host: Introduction of her guest:
“Commentator Aaron Freeman isn’t a person who does much planning ahead. However, if you like to look ahead to the future, he has some advice for you, advice on planning your funeral.”
AARON FREEMAN, guest:
“You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.”

“And at one point you’d hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.”

“And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives.”

“And you’ll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they’ll be comforted to know your energy’s still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you’re just less orderly. Amen.”

Commentary- When I think of science in general, I think of sterile environments, serious people in white lab coats and protective gloves and eyewear. When I think of physics, I think of mathematical formulas and the mechanics of matter and energy and remember that I was never great at math. Having lumped my sciences together, I imagined laboratory/clinical testing that is rather cold and impersonal. The process of hypothesis, evidence gathering, testing, measuring and observing, in an effort of proving a scientific theory, seemed stark and unfriendly to me. 

So for me, having personally experienced before, how very deep and devastating the grief of losing a loved one goes, I found this article’s perspective to be interesting and unusually reassuring in every way possible. I also found myself realizing that, on some level, my version of hard cold science and warm and fuzzy faith could possibly be describing some of the same things, just from different perspectives. Or… at the very least, they, in each of their viewpoints, form a simple foundation for science and faith to share in exploring existential questions of life, death and afterlife. The subject of matter and energy? Definitely more interesting to me now.

When confronted with a death of a loved one. By far, the deepest concern, even among people of faith, is whether their departed loved one still exist after their death. I mean, it’s natural that this question would begin to creep in. It’s a different world now. To go from being accustomed to experiencing our loved one with our usual physical senses for so long in the physical realm and then, suddenly, they are gone- no more to be seen, heard, felt or experienced in that same way is jarring. Without an after-death sign anywhere is sight, this might make one wonder about things that were previously just accepted and taken for granted.

It’s mind boggling to suddenly be forced to experience a departed loved one in a much different way, such as a spirit or an energy field… the subtle form of who they once were. In those who are abruptly thrust into facing such an existential crisis as a death, the survivors are forced into finding a deeper understanding and meaning for themselves. Of course, there are always some painfully nagging questions I  am asked about. Here are some of them-

  • I know what I’ve been taught, but does my loved one still exist? Really?
  • Is my departed loved one around me now?
  • Does my departed loved one remember me now? Care for me? Love me still? Am I important enough to be remembered?
  • Does my departed loved one know how I feel and what I’m thinking? I wish they knew. I wish I could tell them.
  • Can/will my departed loved one visit me at times or send signs for me?
  • Will my departed loved one guide my path and protect me throughout the days of my life?
  • Is my departed loved one happy and free?
  • Does my departed loved one want me to be happy and free?
  • Can my grief ever be healed? Will I ever smile again?
  • Will my departed loved one be there when I need them the most?

By the way, for anyone who might wonder about some of these same questions as well, my knowledge and experience informs me that the answer to all of these questions is yes, Absolutely.

So, where can science and faith possibly meet? Energy is the foundation we can build upon.

“The first law of thermodynamics, also known as Law of Conservation of Energy, states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed; energy can only be transferred or changed from one form to another. … In other words, energy cannot be created or destroyed.” What this means is that everything has always existed and can never not exist. It’s just that it can existed in one form or another.

The end is not really the end. There is no end. Even science, The Law of Conservation of Energy agrees. Not one bit of you (the foundational part of you) is gone. Like water, ice and condensation is the same just a different consistency, the form is another form now. Physical is now subtle energy. And, at some point, that can change form, too.

We are still together. Although we can’t explain exactly what that looks like, because we can’t comprehend that far outside of what our brains can think, we are made from the same energy fabric, always and forever. How could we not be together- always and forever? 

“You need not have faith; indeed, you should not have faith.” Because science knows what we’ve previously just had faith about. “They can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they’ll be comforted to know your energy’s still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you’re just less orderly. Amen.”

In other words, a departed loved one may not have a physical body at this time, but it doesn’t mean they no longer exist. They are just subtle energy now. It’s all energy though. We are all nothing but energy. We are one, together, always and forever.

They are a part of you, too. Even now, you influence them and they influence you. Energetically, they might even visit or give you a sign of their continued existence. They are still here, warming the way for us, through us and being our light as we wade through a chaotic world. Yet, with all these possibilities, many times, the saddest part of us falls prey to the belief that our departed loved one is far from us. Out there. Over there, somewhere… as if there were such a thing. What if they are over here, with us, within us, always and forever. What if that was not just a belief but an absolute knowing, instead? Without a sure knowledge, why would we choose to have the sad belief over the comforting one?

The author writes about what to tell the grieving widow, “All the photons that bounced from you (deceased husband) were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.”

There is a lasting impression left on each of us, by us. In the physical realm, and in an energetic way, we recognize and bear witness of one another and our experiences, always to be remembered. And even… until the point at which we may be re-membered to each other- in another form. How exciting it is that we have the possibility of being together, forever with our beloved ones while we experience them in different ways.

A Physicist many not say it like this, like a person of faith would, that the distillation of a departed person’s energy is also known as spirit, and some might, but to me, what both are saying is basically the same thing. One is stated from more of a clinical and impersonal perspective, while the other explanation of faith may occur as a more warm, fuzzy, personally meaningful way. What if both ways of discovery were legitimate? And not, one perspective is valid and the other is not.

spirit: photo credit pixabay

spirit photo credit: pixabay

If we still exist in some form or another aspect of that form, what else are we without a physical shell, if we are not spirit energy? I never realized that science could be so reassuring when it came to death and an afterlife. But in allowing the perspectives of science and faith to interface, I take it as further evidence of what I’ve always known spirituality to be. Both perspectives working together can give us reassurance, comfort and hope. In the end, we never die. All is well.

energy photo credit: pixabay

energy photo credit: pixabay

 

A Thanksgiving Vibe

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On this day of giving thanks, Kim experienced some extra special Thanksgiving vibes which made her very grateful.

Georgie

Georgie

Kim writes:
“Jade! Something odd happened today. I was sitting in the living room with my dog, Georgie, on the footstool in front of me. We were watching the Thanksgiving Day parade. Feeling horrifically sad, I was crying hard. I was thinking of my husband, Terry, of course, my first holiday without him.”

“In my hand, I had this necklace that was made a long time ago. Back then, when I asked Terry to give me a phrase to have printed on it, the phrase he gave me was: “You are my world and my eternity.” I don’t usually wear jewelry, but for some reason, on this day, I wanted to feel Terry’s words close to me.”

“Now, for the odd happening. I was squeezing this pendant in my hand, holding the message part of the pendant between my thumb and index finger. I leaned over and pressed it into Georgie’s shoulder as I was hugging her. I was thinking of Terry and wanted him to know how much Georgie and I miss him.”

“At that very moment I pressed the pendant into Georgie’s fur, the pendant started wildly vibrating! Concerned, I immediately jumped back and pulled it off Georgie, thinking that it was static electricity? I was worried that Georgie may have been a bit shocked. However, she didn’t flinch a muscle as she was sleeping and even, snoring, so no, that wasn’t the case. The moment I pulled back, the vibration stopped.”

Terry

Terry

“To “test it” once more, I pressed the pendant onto Georgie’s shoulder again, as I had before, but nothing happened. But here’s the thing. I not only felt the pendant vibrating, when I pulled back to look at it, I could plainly SEE it wildly vibrating like crazy, too!”

“After I experienced all of this, and realized it wasn’t a static electricity shock, I KNEW it must have been Terry telling me he was here! I didn’t cry very much after that.”

 

Commentary- The use of energy fields are how departed loved ones attempt communication with those still in the physical realm.

On the face of it, one might wonder how on Earth non-physical beings could have anything to do with interfacing with physical beings. I mean, it’s not like they are the same anymore, are they? And, it seems like now, with them out of sight, they are so far away from us that they are not a part of our lives. Well… the common denominator is that everything that exists is made of energy- both physical beings as well as non-physical beings. Both things seen and unseen. So, bottom line… yes, fundamentally, they are exactly the same as us, as every thing is energy first. And also… energy is everywhere, even in our daily lives.

We hear energy as sound, we see energy as light, we feel energy as heat, and when we are in motion, we produce energy that comes from, hopefully, the nutritious food energy we put in our bodies for sustenance. In a more primitive setting though, upon death, a physical body would break down to become one with the Earth. The decomposing body would supply energy to feed the Earth for a time, as well as other organisms receiving the energy thereof.

However, the energy of the once physical but decaying unpreserved body is not the end of the story. The spiritual energy that sheds its body below, rises to continue life above and beyond its Earthy vehicle. So, yes, basically both ways of looking at conservation of energy, physical and spiritual, can be true at the same time. Another way to say this is that everything is energy. Every thing.

According to Albert Einstein, “Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another.” In other words… We are all in this together, forever!

In many after-death communications, we experience our loved one’s energy getting our attention through electrical disturbances; tv or music suddenly turning on/off, the uncanny physical feeling of being touched or hugged by someone unseen and hearing the inexplicable clear voice of the familiar departed loved one. Some experience sudden and unexplained temperature changes, seeing light flashes or any kind of unusual visual anomalies and even seeing departed loved ones or smelling a sudden scent that fills the space reminding us of our special one who has long crossed over. These are a few examples of the many ways our beloved ones use energy to tell us that they exist and there is life after death- a continued life, a promising forever in which we will all exist together again. Our loved ones find many ways in which to reassure us, if we are paying attention, hoping to blot away some of our tears and replace them with the hope and confidence for us to move forward. 

Then, there is always the unexplained wild and crazy buzzing of vibration. An afterlife favorite! But it’s really all about vibration. When I talk about vibes, it is this that I refer to- every thing is expressed through vibrational energy, whether we are consciously or unconsciously aware of it, it is so. Just think of all we are not aware of! If thinking about that doesn’t make you wonder enough to begin to blow your mind, I don’t know what would, because it’s pretty much… everything… and begins to make sense by answering the questions to our deepest fears.

So, back to Kim, Georgie and Terry. Kim’s intention was strong that Thanksgiving. Strong enough that she happened to have that physical pendant in her hand- even though she didn’t know exactly why on that day in particular, rather than another day. This definitely, along with her intense heartfelt message to her beloved, somehow created an access through which Terry could easily and powerfully respond in kind.

But, Kim didn’t just feel the buzzing vibration, she saw it wildly moving, too. Lot’s of energy producing movement and even if it was just for an instant, it made a huge difference in her world. That was no imagination or wishful thinking that day. Instead, as Kim was expressing her and Georgie’s energetic message to Terry, he expressed an energetic message back to them. How absolutely beautiful.

Our loved ones are always with us. Believe this until you know it.

Several days later, after I received Kim’s 2020 Thanksgiving experience and was working on the commentary for this post, I checked in with Kim to clarify some things about her experience. Kim shared a recovered memory from decades earlier involving her departed mother that seemed similar to the one she experienced recently with Terry. So with permission, I share it here.

Kim writes: 
“When my Mom died, I was getting ready for her funeral. I had a chosen pair of black slacks that were hanging on an over-the-closet-door thingie.”

“I was looking at the slacks, thinking maybe I should wear a skirt? All of a sudden the pants on the hanger started shaking like crazy! I took it as a sign my Mom wanted me to wear the slacks! I told Terry about this at the time. He didn’t say much. So long ago now… 20 plus years ago. But… maybe he remembered and used the same sign for me?”

To that I add… Why not? 

And, it is also possible that through Kim’s remembering of the old story of her mother choosing the clothes that she should wear to the funeral, that it’s her mom now chiming in as if to say, “See? It really was me back then! And here I am now to help you to understand your recent experience.”  Like I said, vibration is an afterlife favorite.

Please know that our loved one’s energy is always with us in more ways than we can ever begin to understand or comprehend. Whether we are consciously or unconsciously aware… their energy is around us. And… remember, that it’s all of the time, too. Could love do anything else?

Georgie sleeping peacefully by the Fire. She already knows all this.

Georgie sleeping peacefully by the Fire. She already knows all this.

There Is No Place Like Home

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In this after-death communication, Kim’s husband, Terry, hunkers down as a spirit in his home, until he’s good and ready to go to the light.

Kim writes:
“Terry, my husband of 36 years, passed away 6 weeks ago from a horrific battle with prostate/bone cancer. I cannot stop crying.”

“About 5 weeks after his passing, I had a dream that I saw him in his bedroom putting on his pajamas. There were 2 young girls that I did not know standing there. They were in their teens and had long, wavy hair that was parted in the middle. Pardon me for sounding snotty, but they were rather homely looking. They looked almost like twins. Both were wearing a sleeveless, cream colored, slip-over type dress. The material was lightweight and the girls were barefoot.”

“I was standing in the hallway of our house, right at the doorway of his bedroom. The girls were facing me, but Terry was facing the chest of drawers in front of him so I had a side view of him. It seemed as though he had gotten something out of his drawers, probably the pajamas he was putting on. The two girls stared at me, saying nothing, not smiling, they just stared at me. My husband did not look at me! I could not believe he would ignore me! If those girls “saw” me, why didn’t my husband see me?”

“The feeling I got from the girls was very ominous! As if they were telling me NOT to come near Terry! Terry never saw me. Or if he knew I was there, would not acknowledge me? I felt so very scared and hurt!”

Commentary- This dream is symbolic as well as an actual peek into an important moment for Terry. Kim’s dream tells the story of what had happened in that moment so that Kim could be privy to this knowledge and be comforted in her grief.

Although Terry had already passed 6 weeks earlier, in Kim’s dream, he was at home, doing some things he always did, one of which was to put on his pajamas.

Guardian Angel

Guardian Angel

The two barefoot girls were guardian angels. They appeared as plain in looks and dress because the emphasis was not on them, it was on Terry. Given how amazing it would be to actually see guardian angels, beautiful or even homely, elaborate or plain, Terry was to be the focal point of what Kim was to notice most. But, just an interesting note here, for whatever reason, the bare feet on a spiritual visitor is commonly an indicator of someone not of this world, but instead, the heavenly realms.

Although this experience occurred in a dream, Kim was having an out of body experience and was actually seeing a close up of the reality of the situation with her spiritual eyes.

Right at his bedroom door, Kim sees Terry, going about the day to day motions of living, in this case, one of them is putting on his pajamas as he get ready to go to sleep. He is facing away from Kim. The angels are facing toward Kim, seeming ominous so that Kim does not disrupt the process that is happening.

What was happening? Until that moment, Terry was refusing to leave his home and his wife. Feeling helpless in leaving his wife and life behind, he was hunkered down to stay, so to speak, but rapidly losing that fight with reality. In this light, we see angels who were there guarding his spirit, allowing Kim to witness what happened in the end, yet warning Kim with their minds not to interfere in the process of his imminent ascension into the light that was about to happen.

Terry with his now departed pet, Woody, now together again

Terry with his now departed pet, Woody, now together again

It does happen that spirits may try to stay where they were most comfortable, in their home and with the people they love. It wasn’t that Terry didn’t know his body had already passed. He did, but he also knew that he, as a spirit, was alive and wanted to stay. It’s okay that it happens. It works it’s way out one way or another, so there is no need to worry about this if it happens. People and spirits have free will. Either way, Terry was not ready yet and it would not happen one second before he was good and ready. This might have felt like the only control he had at the time, so he used it.

Although, it’s interesting to note that Terry was in his pajamas, which are people’s end of the day clothes. This represents that he was getting ready to slip into another level of consciousness. He knew leaving this realm was inevitable, it was just a matter of will and process, and now it was time.

It’s also common for people who have dreams in which their loved ones don’t acknowledge them, to think their loved one is mad at them for something. This is not true, it’s just a fear the griever may have. Although Terry was not aware of Kim at the time, because he was in a slightly different dimension, he was aware of his situation and that it was time to go.

Signaling a tense moment, he angels appeared ominous to keep Kim away, as it would have made things even harder for Terry to make his transition if he were actually aware of her. Terry, not looking at Kim in her dream, was never about hurting or ignoring her, it was about not trying to hurt her by sticking around as long as he could to protect and watch over her.

As I’m writing this, I’m realizing that not only is this post about an after-death communication from Terry, Kim’s out of body experience, but also, really close to a shared-death experience, that Kim was privileged to witness. A shared death experience, because she actually saw the moment before Terry ascended from the physical realm and into the light. What amazing experiences these all are and so powerful and effective to healing and knowing that the spirit does go on and on after this life.

Kim and Terry's home fire

Kim and Terry’s home fire

There is no place like home. We’ve heard that a lot, and we love our homes. Besides the physical structures that we call our home, there are the emotional and mental structures of support that we love and give us comfort, too. Kim is Terry’s home. Terry is Kim’s home. 

Kim knows Terry fought his mightiest to stay in this realm despite the pull on him to do otherwise, but in the end, Terry had to succumb to the inevitability of his spirit’s heavenly home. However, after going into the light, I’m sure it didn’t take long for Terry to realize that he wasn’t limited to just one place. Once returned to the protection of the light, and are debriefed in the knowledge of the light, it doesn’t mean our departed loved ones can’t be with us in our daily lives too. They can and do with the protection of the light of heaven. Otherwise, a soul who stays and does not go to the light is just another haunting. Remember, free will exists for people and spirits. And, I’m glad to say that Terry found his way to the light and still spends time with Kim in their home. Kim still feels Terry’s presence around their home and is greatly comforted by it. 

Heavenly home

Heavenly home

And one day, not so far away, Kim and Terry will joyfully and fully reunite, face to face, once more in their heavenly home together. But for now, home is where the heart is. And, there’s no place like home. And, there’s no one like our loved ones.

Note- Our brains are complex. But, if you can actually comprehend the simplicity of what I’m about to tell you, here is the best kept secret ever. We can never really be apart from one another- in life or in, what we call, death. We are always connected in our spiritual hearts. No, really. We are.

Stress and the Grief Process

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Understanding how stress plays a sizable part in the Grief Process and ways to decrease it to make grieving easier.

At one time or another, we’ve all experienced periods of intense stress in our lives. Some of these stressors might include: food, housing and job insecurity, political unrest, family issues, enduring abusive relationships, trouble with or losing a relationship, being in poor health or losing a loved one through death.

Unlike short bouts of stress involving just one or two stressors, trying to survive a world pandemic is a huge sustained stressor that includes many of these factors at the same time. Think of the ramifications of all this. There is nothing greater than trying to survive so much of this at once. Although it doesn’t make it any easier, the insane amount of stress you may be feeling is being felt by many, worldwide.

Who knows when it will end? How many more will this pandemic claim to itself? When will the consequences of it play out? Will we find our way through this in one piece? So many questions up in the air with so few answers. So much doubt and fear. So many feelings of helplessness. So many subtle, and even outright threats of violence, too. You can feel the deep rumble of fear and uncertainty. With emotions high, it can feel like we are living in a powder keg on the verge of a spark. We are really living through something quite extraordinary… and something so very serious.

Our lives have been changed forevermore. With all this rapid change coming at us, with so much loss, many of us will need to work our way through some version of a grief process – just to get to the other side of this darkness. We may already feel the tremendous weight of this now, if not later. The intense stress we may experience, added to our loss, has the capacity to make things even worse. You see, grief and stress have a lot in common.

Just a reminder that the grief process has several identifiable steps, depending on which version you read. To make it easy, I will go with the most tried and true steps. They don’t always go in order and some of them are more prominent than others.

  • shock, denial and disbelief
  • bargaining, feelings of helplessness
  • sadness and/or anxiousness
  • anger and/or rage
  • coming to terms with what’s so
  • acceptance

If you find yourself in the Grief Process, you might be experiencing one or more of these steps. That’s perfectly normal. How long it takes to heal, depends on how long it takes to get through the steps of the process, without trying to resist going through them. There is no set time frame. Every person is different. But, almost every one of these steps in the grief process, except the last two, happens to come along with a great amount of stress. Hence, it is possible to add even more stress on top of the already existing stress that naturally comes with grieving a loss, or several of them at the same time. Not surprisingly, feeling these human emotions can be extremely stressful. It’s no wonder at all why people try to deny feeling them in the first place. But… the only way out is through. So, a word to the wise… go through with as little resistance as possible.

Just remember a few simple things that everyone already knows, but forgets to use, especially when stressed.

  • Be kind to yourself and others. In times of crisis, it is common to see people either being their weakest self or their greatest self. The power comes with choosing which one you will be in any moment. Here’s a hint. Being your greatest self is more empowering and really makes a big difference in the world around you.
  • Remember to breathe. You hear it all the time as some sort of cliche, but breathing really does regulate stress levels and is such an easy thing to do. Do it by breathing deeply and it will relax your brain and body. It will give some temporary relief… at least until the next time you breathe deeply.
  • Look for ways to empower yourself. When it seems that things are going the wrong way, the human default is likely to feel victimized. However, no matter how bad it may be, feelings of helplessness and hopelessness are of no help. Instead of being on the defensive because something is happening to you, realize that it is happening to many of us. Be on the offensive and take control, wherever you can find ways to be helpful and move hope forward. It may be small, but you will not stay frozen and numb as you will be in motion.
  • Move your body. Take a walk, run or bike ride. Exercising your body is a great stress and anxiety reliever. Walk in place if you can’t go outside.
  • Feed your spirit. Meditate, pray or listen to/watch whatever will relax your brain and body. Make it something that will nurture, recharge and feed your spirit.
  • Practice gratitude. Appreciating what you do have is so much more powerful than focusing on what is missing. Experiencing the “glass half full” rather than the “glass half empty” is always more empowering.
  • Surrender to the process. The grief process is an amazing healing process that, if not resisted, has the ability to completely cleanse and mend. It is our brain’s natural process to follow so our brains can heal from the trauma and turmoil that has been inflicted. Not surrendering to what is in our best interest, which is our healing, creates even more stress than the stress that already exists. Surrendering to “what is” – IS NOT weak, it is smart, as we will get through our pain, way quicker, and… will heal much deeper.

In this world, there is no way to get around stressful situations, or the grief that contributes to them, as this is just a part of our human experience. As you go through your grief process, remember that – although painful, each of the steps can be very therapeutic, as going through many of these steps is so necessary for us to heal and be refreshed.

And remember, many people fall into a “stress trap.” If you didn’t get it the first time, a “stress trap” is when you keep adding stress on top of already existing stress. The simple exercises above can help greatly. You just have to do them.

There will be plenty of grief in the times ahead of us. We will not soon forget the pain and stress this pandemic has caused, but let’s do whatever we can to hold on, and however we can, get each other through this truly extraordinary challenging time. Hopefully, before to long, we will find ourselves out of this darkness and into the light of a new day.

Visiting A Departed Loved One

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Receiving an after-death communication from a departed loved one is an out-of-this-world experience. What if it were possible for us to visit them, as well?

Christian

Christian

It’s been 10 years since that tragic day of Christian‘s passing. It happened on March 31, 2010. With the ambulance on its way, Christian struggled for his life. In the end, it wasn’t meant to be.

Those were some of the darkest days I’ve ever experienced. For sure, there were some dark years to follow. I don’t know if I could have ever survived that great loss had he not visited me so much from the afterlife. It was with dreams, visions, and the other forms of communication, as well as some things he left behind for me, that he taught me so much about life and the afterlife. I learned that it’s really all just one big thing. An example of this is the Yin/Yang symbol. Each side of black and white look so different when really they are both sides to the same whole. For his teachings I am eternally grateful to him for his comfort and illumination.

The other day as I was going through older posts I had written, I ran across a beautiful experience that I had written about visiting Christian, after his death. For reference, the post is, Never Far From Home. The very next morning of remembering this amazing experience, I woke up from another “dream” of the same exact variety. This made me realize- even more so, that as our departed loved ones sometimes visit us with a sign or after-death communication, it is possible for us, on a spiritual level, to venture off to visit them in their world, too. Although mostly, it is quite accidental that we make this discovery.

It just so happened that during that same time frame, a man wrote to me, puzzled and somewhat disappointed as to why, when he was so happy to see his beloved wife while lucid dreaming, she did not notice him at all. That subject does not come up much. It is probably because when it happens, people just think it was some sort of a meaningless, but cruel dream. People may also take it as though their departed loved one is ignoring them, because they are mad or disappointed, when they are not. This kind of thing can bring up insecurity in the bereaved, creating even more pain from their loss.

As I was wondering what to share to honor Christian’s 10 year anniversary of passing, with my recent realization, as well as this man’s question, I realized that the sharing of this subject of us visiting our departed loved ones and the illumination of it, was the right thing to post.

I chose this recent dream of mine to translate, as I saw that it plainly laid out some important steps in the mechanics of how these visitations with our loved ones, take place.  After looking deeper into what, at first look, seemed like a hodgepodge dream that could have easily been dismissed, in it, I found some real gems of insight, hopefully important enough to shed some light.

In my dream, I went into the garage to get some air. The garage door was open and it was dark out there beyond my garage door to the outside world. To my right, I noticed there was a reflection on the window of a vehicle that was parked there in the garage. At first, it didn’t make sense as there was no light source to make that possible.

As I turned to focus on what was causing the light reflection, I saw it was Christian. It was like watching him on a television. He never looked at me once. He didn’t even know that I was there. I saw him from the side view. The image was mostly full length. He looked very happy and occupied with something that gave him great pleasure. Then, I slowly woke up as I transitioned back into my physical daytime world.

Now, about visiting our departed loved ones. I will repeat the dream again, breaking it down, but with the symbolic translation this time, as well as, some steps to be aware of to recognize this phenomenon when it does happen.

In my dream, I went into the garage to get some air.
Translation: I needed a new perspective, so I went outside my home (my body) to accomplish this. My spirit did not go far from my body when this happened as I stayed within the garage. Wanting to get some air is also wanting to get a fresh breath of new perspective, as this is considered vital to a healthy functioning life.
Steps: Open to new perspectives. Willingness to see them. Considering perspective to be vital, healthy and important to understanding others, self and the life/afterlife in which we live. 

The garage door was open and it was dark out there beyond my garage door to the outside world.
Translation: My mind was open and I was available to be shown something just outside what many call, “The box.” The darkness represents the unknown. I was okay with going into the unknown or “out of the box” to be shown something new. The outside world to me represents “God” territory.
Steps: Again. Having an open mind. Willing to be vulnerable and teachable. Wanting to know something and being willing to let go enough to know. Being aware of the fact that we don’t know everything, in fact, we know very little in relation to what is there. Trusting the process and that in the end, what is called “God” is the only knower of everything and will enlighten us.

To my right, I noticed there was a reflection on the window of a vehicle as it was parked there in the garage. At first, it didn’t make sense as there was no light source to make that possible.
Translation: At first, here is my brain trying to make sense of something it considers to be illogical, as this did not seem to follow the laws of the physical world. However, through time, my brain has gotten used to the fact that it doesn’t always understand many of the spiritual events of my life. My brain knows that much of the knowledge of spiritual events exist beyond it’s reach of understanding. My brain does not see this as a threat. In this case, my brain quickly realized that the light source was one of a spiritual nature, and unthreatened, sat back to marvel at what it saw.
Steps: Be open to spiritual events. Be open to possibilities that seem to be impossible for the brain to consider. The brain can’t explain everything and that’s okay. It doesn’t have to in order for one to have spiritual experiences.

As I turned to focus on what was causing the light reflection, I saw it was Christian. It was like watching him on a television.
Translation: The television in the glass window of the vehicle was a portal, a window through time/no time, just like the window I also watched him through in my post, Never Far From Home. That window just manifested itself a little differently, but it was a portal nonetheless. Windows and openings to view through or enter are usually spiritual portals. I saw into this portal with my spiritual eyes since the event happened with my physical eyes closed while in a lucid dream.
Steps: Be willing to see what’s there. Some people are afraid to look. Open your eyes enough that your spiritual eyes will open up, too. If there is fear, change it into excitement. If there is cynicism and doubt, transform that into wonder. Being a spiritual explorer means visiting new spiritual dimensions with enthusiasm and awe.

Christian never looked at me. He didn’t even know that I was there. Though I saw him from the side view, mainly, his image was mostly full and actual length.
Translation: If you really think about the logistic of this, this would have actually been impossible in the physical reality, given the full length size of Christian (6’3″), and the smaller size of even the largest car window (2 feet, tops). He was actual size in the window, but the window of the vehicle was quite a bit smaller. These are examples of unexplained space distortions that are also an indication of occurring spiritual events.
Also, the fact that he didn’t look at me is clear. He didn’t see me.
Steps: Spiritual phenomena may seem strange to some. For sure, it is foreign to many of us in this physical existence. Because of this, it is important to adjust your personal/worldview perspective to be able to adapt. Learning to recognize spiritual experiences is kind of like learning a new language, or better said… remembering it. It’s like blurring your eyes to bring something else into focus. It’s like tuning in to the background of life; all the subtleties It’s about nuance, too. It’s about allowing the self as you know it to expand and become limitless.

He looked very happy and occupied with something that gave him great pleasure. Then, I woke up. 
Translation: Although he didn’t see me, I got to see him. He was happy and busy doing something he loved. He is fine.
Steps: Be open to the possibility of seeing them, as well as, the other way around. We are really never far away from those we love.
Keep a dream journal at your bedside and record your dreams before they fade away. There is a lot of information contained for you in those dreams. You can always translate the contents later if you don’t have the chance to do it right away, but it’s really difficult to recall the dream of your departed loved one as you get even moments farther from it. 

Sometimes we have dreams of our loved ones who have passed. We are hopeful when we do, but when they don’t turn to acknowledge us, it can cause some emotional pain. Like, how cruel to finally get to see our loved one and they don’t even see us. We often discount the experience as just a dream without ever realizing that when they visit us… many times we don’t turn to acknowledge them, either. This is just what happens. Sometimes we don’t meet up at the right times, but we do visit one another to some degree, and sometimes when we do meet up, it’s because together again, we’ve aligned for that single moment in time… until we align for good, in the next realm together forever.

Stonehenge Alignment

Stonehenge Alignment Image:Pixabay