As Linda’s perception shifts, so does her pain level. Scarcity thinking is so common in humans that we barely even notice. Notice though. It makes a difference.

Linda writes:
I have been very blessed to have received several after-death communications of various kinds from my beloved soulmate, Thellis, since he transitioned 2 years ago on this very day.

Three of these after-death communications have been documented on Jade’s website.
Visitations Through the Portal, The Power of Sheer Will and The Medicine that is Hope.

In The Medicine that is Hope, I experienced the appearance of a flock of mourning doves in the dead of winter on a snowy morning. It came at a point in which I was so profoundly despondent. I thought that I surely could not survive his being gone and had asked that he please give me a sign of his presence. I had specifically been asking to see a mourning dove, his favorite bird. I also knew this was ridiculous request to be making in middle of winter in Vermont.

But one cold snowy January morning, when feeling I could not go on much longer in this depressed state and consumed with grief, I was driving out of my neighborhood, and lo and behold, there was not one mourning dove, but a flock of them on side of road. I could not believe my eyes, but I knew he had sent them to me that day, knowing how much pain I was in, hopeless, and missing him so much.

Although many hard times in the grief process were ahead of me still, I felt that there was an internal shift within me that had somewhat given me hope that he had not left me behind – that he was, indeed still with me.

But, in April of this year, a year and 3 months after the doves, I sunk into another abysmal state of mind, crying spells, days once again filled with sadness and longing as strong as in early months following his death. It was a particularly sensitive time of year related to his passing. Easter was here – a time of renewal, rebirth, but also a time reminiscent of the beginning of the end of our time together on this earth.

Things felt unbearable again and I was so shocked to be in this horrible scary place again. I was having difficulty functioning, going to work, just barely getting through the day. I had a favorite picture of him, one taken when he was very young, before we ever met. This picture was one of my favorites. He had a beautiful smile and a way in which his eyes smiled, too. In this picture, there was just the very slightest hint of that — not the full smile so common with him.

This picture was on my dresser in my bedroom, along with other mementos related to him. One day, I looked over at this picture through my tears as I had looked at it everyday for past 2 years, and something seemed different about the picture. It was somehow slightly different and I kept looking, trying to figure it out.

Then, I realized that this picture looked different because not only was he “looking”  at me from this picture, but the smile was different; it was more pronounced. It was wider. I feared I was crazy, even hallucinating. I thought, perhaps it was just the lighting in the room, maybe the particular angle of the picture. So, I moved the picture around, sat it in a different location.

But, still, the look out of his eyes was warm and real. I was not just looking at a picture of him, but he was looking back at me. This could not be, I thought. Perhaps my grief is making me imagine or see things that are not really there.

However, since that day, 3 months later, it is still occurring on occasion. It is not every time I look at the picture, but it often still happens.  I now believe that he knew the pain I was in and he came to tell me and show me that he had not gone anywhere  —- that he was still with me and that things are ok, and that I am ok and will be ok.

Before this happened, I would sometimes just feel his presence once in awhile, whether there was a sign or not, and I would feel our strong connection. But much of the time, I would not feel his presence and feel that I had lost that connection to him. This is the loneliest feeling in the world.

But since that day in April, I have not felt that void, that feeling that he is “gone” or that I am ever alone. He used to tell me to remember the song, “You’ll never walk alone” and not to ever forget it.  Now, I know it’s true — he walks with me always until we meet again. Just as I recently read somewhere — “There is no goodbye – just a period of time until we say ‘hello’ again.”

Commentary- Often, we think our departed loved ones are somewhere “out there”, “over there” and, if you really think about it, it’s anywhere but here with us. This thought makes us sad.

It is the thinking that we are now, somehow, separated by death’s door. How final it seems. Any beliefs we might have of reuniting in an afterlife is of little comfort in these moments of grief. How horrific are these thoughts that cause us so much pain? How lonely to be separated in this fashion. Where is the compassion in it?

It would seem that only a cruel God would allow us to love someone so deeply, our companions who bravely walk with us through this already challenging world, only to have them ripped away from us. No, whatever intelligent force is out there, God, the Universe, Higher Self or whatever you may call it or not, it is not cruel. Perhaps there is something we are missing. 

What gives us an extraordinary amount of pain are our thoughts. At a time like death, our worst fears surface as we try to cope and navigate the new horrifying reality that is now our life. Sometimes death is expected, while other times death catches us off guard. That is the worst, with no time to prepare or say our goodbyes. These tragedies of loss are hard enough to fathom, however, when you really look at it, the kind of thinking that does the most damage is scarcity thinking. 

Thoughts of scarcity include,

• “My loved one is gone now.” (No more)
• “They’ve been taken away.” (Removed)
• “They are out there, over there, somewhere else but here.” (Limited to a location)
• “We are separated now.” (Not enough)
• “I’m all alone now.” (No one left)
• “I should/shouldn’t have done/said this or that (Fell short)
• “My life is finished.” (It’s over now)
• “They left me.” (Not worth staying for)

Beliefs of lack, limitation, inadequacy and/or all things finite are all tied to scarcity thinking. Of course, being that we live in the world of opposites and the death of a loved one is generally considered a “bad” thing, we are already in a dark place when we begin to think about how to process our thoughts and feelings. We feel like we’ve experienced a loss, a disconnect. This is human nature. Although it’s horrifying, we tend to go there first when it’s the most painful thing we could do.

Of course, there is something we can do in our grief process when we can. Somehow, if we can become conscious of this dark and limited way of thinking, at some point in our despair, we might just catch a glimpse of the possibility that we can shift our way of thinking into something more useful. If even a little at a time. It is possible to come out of the darkness a little more often and for longer periods of time. With the awareness of the impact that scarcity thinking has on our state of mind, perhaps we can recognize it as unhelpful to our healing and well-being in every way.

You see how Linda, with some after-death communications, became more and more aware of this lighter consciousness. She also became more grateful, which is a response to recognizing the abundance in her life. She mentions an internal shift. This was an actual shift in her thinking. And, as she did shift, she felt more and more connected to her Beloved. Now, he even looks and smiles at her from his picture from time to time. This is a thing, by the way, it’s more on the rarer side but it does happen.

So no. It’s not God, the Universe, Higher Self or whatever else you want to call it or not, being cruel. In fact, most, if not all of our pain comes from our own thinking that involves scarcity, whether it’s lack, limitation, inadequacy and/or all things finite. The compassion I asked about? That needs to come from us, toward our smallest, most unaware self that suffers without end.

Maybe our departed loved ones are not “out or over there” at all. Maybe they are “in and over here.” Some say, “The Kingdom of Heaven is within.” Maybe we never actually thought that was real? Literal or metaphorical… What if it is?

In the end, what has been missing is the thinking that no matter what happens with those we love, we are always connected. We are connected in life and in death… because it is all the same infinite and abundant life. We just have to have these thoughts more often as it truly creates a shift in consciousness and an evolution in thinking that could bring us greater peace, healing and comfort. And, we need to be compassionate with ourselves.

In the song of hope that Linda mentioned earlier in this post, we are reminded once again, that despite our best stab at the scarcity of dark and depressing thoughts as a knee-jerk reaction to death, loss and pain, “We’ll never walk alone.” Maybe that means never.

May the light of consciousness shine the way for you always. May you experience abundance and take compassion on yourself.

Light of Consciousness Photo credit- Geralt