… whose life and untimely passing inspired the creation of this site. (Written in March 2013)

Christian, In my heart, I bring you flowers.

It was three years ago to this day that Christian, just twenty-five years of age, suddenly and unexpectedly passed away from a hemorrhaged arterial vascular mass in his brain. Fortunately for him, the painful process that led to his death was short-lived, as the time from onset to his passing only lasted approximately 45 minutes.

Although the process of Christian’s painful death was quick for the loved ones left behind, our painful experience of losing him was just beginning. Even though we were still alive, it was a kind of death for us made manifest in our attempts to live on without him.

Christian was an amazing contribution to this planet. His countenance radiated acceptance, patience and unconditional love. Whenever I got impatient or offended by someone’s words or actions, with the utmost of wisdom and compassion Christian would turn to me and say, “Choose love.” It was a bumper sticker he was referring to- one I picked up for him when I visited a Hindu Ashram in Taos, New Mexico, just 6 months earlier. But… it was also who he was and how he lived his life.

Christian’s death was shocking to those who knew and loved him. The impact of this loss left many to wonder why this amazing light upon the Earth would be taken at a time when the world needed light the most.

Christian had a brilliant mind. He was talented and skilled, well beyond his years. He was continually in the process of improving himself, and developing the deepest part of his soul. He was a conscious being who strived diligently for perfection. Christian was of service to all around him. But the best thing about Christian… was his big and beautiful heart!

So, it is for me, that who Christian was in life, and the following symbolism surrounding his death, would forever be tied to Easter.

It was on a Wednesday morning, March 31, 2010, that Christian’s body would pass away. I watched through tears of shock and horror as they loaded him into the ambulance that was headed for the hospital. By the time we arrived and the paramedics were unloading him, I could tell by looking at their faces that it was bad news. Christian was no longer with us.

After admitting and processing Christian into the hospital, even though he had already passed away, his body remained on life support, waiting for his family to learn of his fate and to arrive in the States from another country.

Meanwhile, in another hospital not too far away… for days, a large family has been gathered around their sick and dying loved one. He is a patient, badly in need of a heart, whose life precariously dangles at the brink of death. He is a father, a son, a husband and a friend. His family shuffles in and out from his bedside, bracing themselves for the worst. And with the many prayers offered up in his behalf, they hope for the miracle that will give him back his life.
 
The days following Christian’s death had quickly passed by. By some miracle too difficult to explain here, his family had effortlessly been located on vacation in a foreign country, clear across the world and were able to arrive in the States, later the next day. Arrangements concerning his body and remains had all been made and now, having spent time mourning by his side, we said our last goodbyes to him.

Soon, his body would be taken for the purpose of harvesting his organs; a desire Christian conveyed just months before. Not being a blood relative, I was not privy to the information of who might receive Christian’s organs, only that most of them would be transplanted into patients living in Utah. However, I did know that whoever these people were, they would be supremely blessed to receive them.

The next morning had arrived. It was April 4, 2010 and Easter Sunday. My friend, Laney, had been admitted as a patient to the cardiac unit in that other hospital, the one I spoke about earlier; not so far from us. Having had a heart scare, Laney had been there since Friday and with her laptop in full use, was following the updates I posted to our group of loved ones, concerning Christian.

On Saturday, April 3, 2010, my update read in part,
…“Yesterday, after the last test on Good Friday, Christian was confirmed to have no brain activity whatsoever. So, this part is over. We have to accept this, even though it is hard for us and we don’t want to. We have all done our very best.

The good news- Please know that our prayers for a miracle have been heard.
Last night I was awakened to the miracle surrounding him. In fact, there were many of them about to spring forth. Because Christian was young and of such great health, his organs will be donated to many people in great need. Almost everything can be given, so you can imagine the tremendous gifts he leaves behind for so many.

It is interesting to me that this Easter, many people will be receiving the call they have been waiting for; to come to the hospital for the organ transplant that will literally give them a NEW LIFE, ironically, this is the gift of Easter, too. Christian would not have had it any other way….”

On Easter Sunday, April 4, 2010, my update read,
“Dear loved ones,
Today, 7 grateful beings will have received the gift of a new life- and many others will benefit by the donation of his tissues at some later date. This is the blessing and generous Easter gift that Christian brings. 
 
I wonder how their lives will now change. The joy that life will now bring them and their loved ones, to have a second chance with life. But mostly, I wonder how greatly their lives will change, specifically, having Christian’s organs. They simply have no idea of the high frequency that is being added to them. 
 
…Though Christian has died in one way, he has risen today in so many others. May we all find peace and comfort in this miracle.
 
…Have a meaningful Easter today- whatever that means for you. Perhaps today is a day for new beginnings for each one of us, a day to rise to a higher frequency. If we make it so, it will be.” 

After following the updates on Christian and being in the hospital herself, Laney felt directly and personally connected to something very sacred. It was only moments later that her nurse, having been delayed from checking in on her, came bustling through the door with excitement. Trying to explain his delay, in so many words, he said, “We’ve had an emergency to take care of. We just got word that a heart is on its way and we’ve had to prep that man across the hallway for immediate surgery to receive it!”

With shock on her face at the realization of what was happening; the tragedy with Christian, connected to the family across the hall from her, she shared with the nurse about Christian’s death and the giving of his organs. And, with shock on his face, with the realization of what she had just shared, he declared it as much as an Easter miracle!

Truly, Easter on April 4^th, was a day representing miracles for many around the world. But for we who loved Christian, for the man whose life hung in the balance, only to receive Christian’s big and beautiful heart at the very last minute, and for the grateful family whose prayers had been answered, it was especially up close and personal, in a poignant but sweet sort of way. Very soon, a father, son, husband and friend would be brought back for a chance at a new life.

Now, three years later, and still mourning the loss of Christian, I know that if he had anything to say about his death… and I believe he did, it would be that he was able to leave traces of his light, love and life behind for those he loved. And, that his essence would be reflected in his words, deeds, organs, and our hearts and minds.

I’m still learning from Christian’s Christ-like example everyday; to be patient and kind, to live with compassion, to be of service, and to always, always, and in all ways… “choose love.”

I once thought with Christian’s death, a great light had been taken from the Earth. Now I see that it’s just shining down on it, more clearly illuminating the way.
That’s just who he was.
That’s just who he is still.
Thank you Christian! We love and miss you.

And now in parting, I leave you with these same words once spoken before,
“…Have a meaningful Easter today, and everyday- whatever that means for you. Perhaps today is a day for new beginnings for each one of us, a day to rise to a higher frequency. If we make it so, it will be.” 
 

(Thanks to Laney for sharing this story from the unique and amazing perspective, that only she could provide. Since Laney’s original scare turned out, not to be serious, Laney feels that the whole reason she was in the hospital at the time, was to be a witness to, and tell about this miracle.)