Category Archives: Death of a Parent

Although the parent had lived a life longer than the child, it’s never easy to say goodbye to the one who was giver of life, nourisher and care-taker.

Perfect and Whole in Heaven

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In this after-death communication, Lisa’s parents come for an interesting visit that leaves no doubt of their spiritual visitation into her realm.

Lisa writes:
“I’d love to share a wonderful visitation dream I had back in June of 2022. It was extra special because this time, both my mom and dad visited me in my dream. The dream took place in our country home where we once lived together. We hugged and kissed one another. The love was such a comfort to me. I was so happy to see them both together.”

“Lately, I had been cleaning out a storage unit in which I kept the contents of my parents’ home. In the visitation, they both knew this and actually told me that they knew I’d been sorting through things to sell at a yard sale. My mother was thrilled about this. She had always told me not to keep everything.”

The White and Fluffy Veil

Lisa's family

Lisa’s family

“My dad was so happy to visit me as well. He explained to me that my mom talked about going through the veil between heaven and earth. Since they went through this veil together, it was thicker than if you go through it one at a time.”

“I even asked my Dad what it was like. He told me it wasn’t painful, however, my mom had complained that it’s white and fluffy on the other side, but as they passed through to this side it’s clear and almost like spider web material, then, a clear gel-like texture. She mentioned to my dad that she didn’t want to appear messy when I saw her. “I think that is amazing”, I said to my dad.”

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A Heartfelt Plea for Unity

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Lisa’s beloved mother, Mimi, once visited her daughter in a mind-blowing after-death communication. Then came, Mimi’s next visit.

Lisa wrote:
“Years ago after my mother passed, you posted the extraordinary after-death communication I had with my mother, called, Mimi’s Heaven. It really rocked my world back then. Well, recently, my mother came back to me in a visitation dream that was even more profound. I’m excited to share it.”

“As with my last experience with my mother, again, she took me through time and space, stopping briefly at nebulas and star clusters to view their glory. This time she reaffirmed to me that God had created all living things, all creatures big and small.”

“However, she added even more. Plants, animals and humans are not the only things God created, but even other beings as well. My mother showed me that there are many planets that have intelligent life. Some of them, even living underground on these different planets. This is why, those looking, may not see obvious signs of life.”

“However, she told me that there is so much more than we can ever imagine. These beings she spoke of are empathetic and are very curious about our people. They, as a community can no longer reproduce. They come to our earth and sometimes extract DNA from women to use to help repopulate their beings. They are peaceful and want us to know that we must protect nature and also, nurture our children with more love and focus on our earth rather than material things.”

“My mother also told me that some of these beings live deep in our oceans and also in Antarctica under the ice underground. When they first arrived at Antarctica, it was not covered in ice. The earth had turned on its axis and it changed our planet millions of years ago.”

“She told me that early man was visited by them to help them build things. These early men worshiped them as Gods like we see in Egypt with the pyramids and the Mayan culture of early man. You can look back and trace evidence of them worshipping them because they gave them knowledge to continue to grow.”

“In ancient times, people lived in small groups or tribes.They all related to one another as a part of themselves, so they were close-knit communities. Their energy to be one people was strong. As a group they could work wonders because of that unity. They were humble people and sought for light, not darkness, for unity, not division. They were stronger together than divided. They prayed and practiced their faith in a higher power to guide them.”

“On a personal level, in my dreams, I’ve seen many different species of intelligent beings that wish humans could be more loving and positive in our spiritual sense. All throughout the Universe there are pulse’s of energy everywhere. Every living thing has, and is energy. What holds us back from our greatest potential is the lack of positive energy within ourselves and how we, as individuals, or as a whole, treat one another.”

“God created all creatures and that everything is connected. What we do with our planet affects all others.”

Commentary- Lisa’s recent after-death communication, as well as her insight, offers a very important message to consider in these troubled times. After thinking about the messages in Lisa’s experience, I offer some thoughts on the how’s and why’s for our division, and how we, as bridge builders, can make a personal difference for good in our world. Thank you for your consideration.

The Division

Today, with so many of us living on this increasingly crowded planet and vying for its resources, it can be easy to forget about the whole. What I mean is the “whole tribe” of our fellow beings. Fear has run rampant as we separate into our own groups against those “others” we perceive as our enemies.

Our world has become larger than that one united tribe that existed long ago. It’s become more diverse, complicated, chaotic and therefore; threatening on one level or another to those who fear some sort of extinction. Because of this threat, consciously or not, humans have divided themselves into distinct categories according to their own worldview, and with their distain, prepare for various forms of battle against their own human kind- no holds barred.

A Room With a View
Image by Franz26 Pixabay

A singular View : Image by Franz26, Pixabay

While each of us are the room in this metaphor, it’s important to realize that the view from the window in that room is very fixed, as the window is only in one location and sees in one direction. We can’t see around, behind, on top, or below what we are looking at. All we see is just our singular point of view. Unfortunately, this very specific and misleading view, tends to become “the truth” of our worldview, which can be very limiting and grossly inaccurate.

The Battle for Survival

Having a narrow point of view provides a strong foundation for intolerance and impatience for those “others” who are perceived as “not our tribe.” Perhaps they even think differently than us, and that’s the problem.

Narrow mindedness appears to stem from a belief in scarcity. Perhaps a human’s greatest fear is that there is not enough of something. Specifically, “there is not enough for me, so I must take as much as I can get, no matter the cost.” A fear of not surviving in some way, with thoughts and feelings of insecurity, inadequacy and instability continually feed the beast. With the same narrow way of thinking and feeling, the cycle perpetuates and doubles down to become worse.

Us Versus Them Mentality

Far from just small tribes, a very dangerous “us versus them” mentality has taken hold all over the world. Some current examples of this can be found in issues of ethnicity, religious beliefs, government politics and other ideology. Then… there are all our manufactured lies that people adopt as weapons of war against those not like them and who have now become their enemies. The hatred is palpable. Is this of God?

Physical, spiritual and psychological scarcity runs rampant on our planet as individuals perceive their very survival is in jeopardy. Even if it’s actually not, it is in some heads. We are so caught up in our own internal wars of our thoughts and feelings, fueled by our singular viewpoint and worldview, that we forget that in some way… what is done to one is done to the rest. That includes all of us.

Coming from a Christian background, I don’t know whatever happened to the Golden Rule in the Gospel of Matthew 7:12, “In everything, do to others as you would have them do to you” but it no longer seems to be a moral rule guiding our world. Perhaps we have become wicked in the rightness of our blindness. 

The Need to be Right or Better Than

That poor ego that would destroy everything and itself to be right, superior and in power,  doesn’t make much sense but it’s happening all around us. Much of our world is very sick, intoxicated by the lure of raw power, control and cruelty, for cruelty’s sake. It’s done in the name of politics, money, power and dare I say… religion as well.

For example, there are those people of faith who believe that some people are so different than them, and therefore, beneath them, then go on to pretend we don’t all share the same Creator. That we are not of the same creation? It doesn’t make sense to me. When will we go back to the Golden Rule? This darkness and destruction is removing us from what matters most- our planet, creatures big and small, our lives and our whole human tribe. 

There is such a drive to be ‘right” about things, even made up things., just to be right and therefore, superior to others. But, where does that get us? Constantly, we get in our own way. When will we ever see? Together we are stronger and better. Divided we fall apart. Would good divide us? No, but evil would.

The Good News about a Viewpoint

The thing to realize about a viewpoint is that, with awareness, and having the desire to come from a good and open space from which to look, a singular viewpoint has the possibility of expanding into many viewpoints. That expansion becomes the possibility of compassion, mercy and patience. Another thing to know is that, a fixed viewpoint has the possibility to become flexible. Flexibility will lay a space for tolerance, peace and unity. It is also a path to our survival. I mean, if one is willing, of course.

Some Final Thoughts

Our world depends on us to find our way through the darkness and confusion of the now. We live in troubled times. Through love and compassion we must build bridges not walls. If we are to survive as a species, we must choose peace and faith over destruction and fear. It serves the individual to take care of the whole tribe. 

Are we no longer our “brother’s keeper?” We must take care of each other and our planet. The way to unity is through cooperation and by practicing love, patience and peace. It is a practice, that’s for sure. But, it’s an honorable and worthy way to live one’s life.

Even if it’s a small bridge, it’s a bridge nonetheless.

Bridge : Image Andibreit on Pixabay

Bridge : Image Andibreit on Pixabay

After-Death Communication Message Types

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While there are many different types of after-death communications, in a dream, Rose receives the one of practical guidance.

Rose writes:
“I’ve had so many beautiful and amazing visits from my Mother, and lately from my Dad which made me so happy. A little while ago, here in the Hudson River Valley, we had severe thunderstorms with large amounts of rain. One night, my father interrupted a dream I was having. It was so shocking, knowing that he just popped in unexpectedly.

My Dad said, “All is well, however, please watch the rainfall nearby and remember the generator I gave you.” I woke up the next morning, remembering what he said. My day went on and by early evening, the storms came through again, thunder, lightning, severe winds and flooding.

At around 9:30 pm, my neighbor, Dustin, called me to ask how we were doing with all this rain. He is a volunteer fireman. After checking outside and taking one look at our basement, I called him right back because the entire property was a lake! The basement steps were covered in water swirling around to the top of the basement door.

Dustin called the fire department and Central Hudson Company turned off the power to our house. That night was a very long, hot and sweaty night with no power and basement under six feet of water.

The next morning, the water subsided as the catch basins nearby, finally caught up and were doing their job. David, my partner, and I were tired, hot and stressed out. That was the moment when I suddenly remembered the dream and that my father reminded me about the generator. David has one and we never touched my father’s. When I told David the dream I had, we went to the garage. David’s generator which was newer, would not start at all. I told him to please try my dad’s, I knew it would work because he told me it would.

David pulled the generator out of the garage and dusted it off. It started with one pull! We had power again. I sat in the garage and said a prayer to God and to Jesus, thanking them for letting my father come to me to help. I am always so thankful to God and Jesus daily for the blessings of the day.

Commentary- If you know anything about after-death communications, you know the messages that are sent to us by our departed fall into many different categories. Here are some of them that are most common.

Checking in.

This message conveys something to the effect of,

  • “Hey, I made it.”
  • “Please don’t worry about me, I’m good.”
  • “It’s beautiful here.”
  • “I’m in a good place.”
  • “I’m reunited with loved ones.”
  • “I just wanted to let you know.”

Reassurance. (“I got you.”)

  • “I’m aware of you.”
  • “I’m still with you.”
  • “I love and care about you.”
  • “Everything will turn out well in the end.”
  • “Don’t worry. This is temporary.”
  • “We will be reunited again someday.”
  • “You can get through this.”
  • “I approve. You have my blessing.”
  • “We are one.”

Informational. Insight. Enlightening. (On a need to know basis)

  • “This is what happened.”
  • “This is what will happen.”
  • “This is why.”
  • “This is how it works.”
  • “Here’s some information about you, your life, life in general, and the afterlife.

Giving Thanks.

After-death communications that say,

  • “Thanks for everything.”
  • “I appreciate you so much.”
  • “I see you.”

Subtle Promptings. (Guidance, Advice and Practical reminders)

  • “Remember ‘something’ now. It will be helpful to you later.”
  • The mention of a particular person and that, “So and so might be able to assist you with that dilemma.”
  • A very familiar and meaningful song plays on the radio. “This is a reminder that I love and care about you. We are still one.”
  • “Remember who you are.”
  • “I’m here guiding you.”

Protect with Urgent Directives. (Warning, Caution that screams, “Do or don’t do this.”)

  • “Don’t drive that same way you normally do or even in that direction.”
  • “Stay clear of that person.”
  • “Get out of the house, car, whatever, NOW.”
  • “Get out of the way!”
  • “That’s a bad situation. Don’t get involved.”
  • “Go a different way.”
  • “Do something different with your life.”

Touching base. (Can occur as a unexpected visit because time has passed with less frequent visits)

  • “Yep. I’m still here.”
  • “Yep. I’m still very aware of your situation.”
  • “Here’s an idea for you.”
  • “Yep, I’m still doing great.”
  • “See all the healing you’ve accomplished? You are doing so much better now. I never wanted you to suffer.”
  • “Yep. I still love and care about you. We are one.”

Conclusion

When Rose’s dad came to her in her dream with his message about the generator, it was just what she needed to hear. Without it, her father’s generator would have collected even more dust when it could have been put to good use. 

Since our departed loved ones have a much different perspective than we do, they don’t get all worked up about the small stuff. Rose’s dad knew that, although the rains were coming, Rose and David would be just fine, just hot, uncomfortable and without power. That’s where the generator was such a great idea. Rose’s dad was prompting her in a dream, guiding her, assisting her to remember what he would have done. He would have pulled out that old dusty generator and fired it right up.

Our Angels

We often imagine that our departed loved ones are off, somewhere, clear over there, separate from ourselves and that they have no idea what is going on in our lives. Rose’s father shows how untrue this actually is. Think about this. Rose’s dad knew a rain storm was coming. Just wow! He wanted his daughter to have everything she could need for it. The old, dusty generator started with one pull of the cord. I’d say that’s pretty miraculous. I’d say he was very aware.

Our departed loved ones do watch over us. They love and care for us from beyond. They are familiar with our struggles and our accomplishments. They do their very best to guide us through the situations in our lives. They are our angels, and… we will be angels to the ones we leave behind, as well. We will guide and protect them, too. Because that’s what love does.

Angels watching over us

Angel: Photo credit: cocopariseenne

Hugging a Departed Loved One

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After Jan repeatedly asked her departed mother for a hug, her heart’s desire is realized. Twice!

The Twilight Bridge

The Twilight Bridge

Jan writes:
“I had a couple of “dreams” again of my mom, but I am not sure if it was a regular dream or a “twilight bridge” dream. What I wrote to you before in “The Twilight Bridge” post were definitely not dreams. That much was obvious.”

“Now, I will try and explain my question to you. I had said out loud for many weeks that I wanted to hug mom. Then, I had two different dreams. Both were in the same setting, it seemed outside somewhere, not here in the house. It was like I drifted into an outdoor area where my mom was socializing with some people. She noticed me, smiled and greeted me with these people around her. It seemed like she was by a car. In trying to make sense of it all, I thought we were going on one of our short trips for the weekend or maybe we were there already.”

“Although there were a few other people with her, I could not see faces as they were more like shadows. My mom seemed much brighter, easy to see I mean, and very close.  I was right there with her and she seemed happy, smiling, enjoying chatting with people. Relatives? I do not know but that was really all there was to it.  Then, I must have woken up.”

“The next time I had this dream, it was the exact same place…. same people and situation, except my mom’s light around her seemed brighter and she was in color while everything else was a darker colorless shade. My mom was very clear. She had her pink fuzzy bathrobe on- she definitely stood out among the other shadows of people there. I went to her and hugged her. She never said anything to me but she was smiling and seemed happy. Then, I must have woken up.”

“When I woke that morning, I remembered it clearly and the feeling of hugging and being freshly hugged still lingered. I mean, could have been my imagination or not, but somehow, I felt like I had hugged her close. I had felt her, I had hugged her for real.”

“Anyway, this may not be anything… maybe just a wishful dream as it was outside the house in a different setting. So I have been thinking it was just a dream. It did not last long. Nothing happened really except I met my mom for a short time and felt her presence plus she was smiling (which I am glad of)”.

“So, I guess sometimes it may be hard to distinguish a dream from something else?”

Commentary- Because of the spiritual visitation experience spectrum that spans anywhere from ‘nuanced” to ‘blow your socks off’ obvious, it can be hard to distinguish a dream from a visitation, although this was clearly a visitation… except it was Jan that was doing the visiting.

Space, Place or State of Mind?

While “The Twilight Bridge” is considered a neutral meeting “place” or “space” between this realm and the next realm, where we sometimes go to meet our loved ones, “The Twilight Bridge” is also experienced as a state of mind or place of spirit and not necessarily an actual place. But having said this, it could also be experienced as an actual place. What was different about this experience from Jan’s experience at “The Twilight Bridge” is that Jan didn’t meet her mother at the bridge, she went over the bridge to where her mom was in another realm.

Entering another realm Pixabay: Jplenio

Entering another realm Pixabay: Jplenio

What makes this so?

The fact that Jan felt herself drifting (a thing of the spirit) into another space, an outdoor space, which represents somewhere other than where Jan’s life normally play out. The outdoor setting Jan describes is a metaphor for… another location besides here at my house… or where I live in this Earthly realm.

Jan’s mom was seen thriving in her new community of people, smiling, happy and certainly aware because she saw Jan, as if she was waiting for her to visit. She was. The car represents travel, reminding Jan of their prior weekend trips, as well as, pointing to, that this is a possibility of a new way to spend time together for short trips now.

Jan notices how much clearer and even brighter in the second visitation that her mother appeared compared to those around her. The explanation here is that the other people around her were not considered the focal point, her mother was being that Jan asked to see and hug her mom again. The other people in the experience, sort of seen/not seen are clearly not the most important take away, although it does point to her newfound acclimation, happiness and a community that she enjoys in her current realm.

Having the same dream twice is sort of like saying to Jan, “If you don’t believe I heard you about seeing me to get a hug, I did. To prove it, here is the second dream with even more certainty, clarity and brighter colors!  I’m at home here. I’m even wearing my bright pink bathrobe. You will recognize me immediately, can’t miss me!” In other words, she heard Jan loud and clear.

Why we doubt, dismiss and discount spiritual visitations

It’s really common to dismiss a spiritual visitation as an ordinary dream since it doesn’t always make perfect sense. Sometimes it is abstract or unclear. Often, we are afraid to believe our experience because… what if it were just our imagination and not really so?

We don’t want to be the fool. We don’t want to get our hopes up only to be let down again, which would only add to our hurt of seeming to live a life alone without them now.

However, why doubt, dismiss and discount first when having these experiences, then, have to be convinced of their validity? Given that we can react the way we want (sometimes), why not look and listen to your experience of what it is trying to tell you? Why not look and listen for the possibility of spiritual visitations/after-death communications, signs and messages from beyond?

These spiritual communications are so precious but they are fragile and fleeting. We must believe these special gifts from heaven are completely possible and probable and to see it as such. We must gather these seeds of faith and nurture them and perhaps they will grow into profoundly meaningful experiences that will tide us over throughout our lives.

So what if we don’t understand everything or it’s abstract and unclear? So what if we make a fool of ourselves but we see special spiritual things that physical eyes can’t or won’t see? And, so what if we get our hopes up? Take the hopeful message from the visitation and use it for comfort.

The Takeaway

There is a lot that happened in Jan’s experience with her mother. There is a lot of information to glean from it for Jan to hold as precious in her heart, mind and soul. But perhaps, most importantly… Jan’s heartfelt desire to hug her mom again was heard and realized. A hug that lingers is a real hug that follows us back over the bridge to this plane of existence. Jan got to hug her mom again!  Yes, it was a real hug, Jan!

Love survives and thrives beyond the grave. Your mother still lives, and loves you… and when the time is right, you will reunite together in a way that brings you both the greatest joy, leaving all sadness behind.

For more after-death communications click here.

Another realm- Pixabay: Thomas Skirde

Another realm- Pixabay: Thomas Skirde

The Twilight Bridge

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After her mother’s recent passing, a sorrowful Jan, is repeatedly visited by her mother on the Twilight Bridge.

Jan writes:
“It is difficult to find anywhere to ask this question and it has bothered me since my Mom passed away a year ago. I had been living with mom for about 8 years and helping her to live in her home. She was 99 years old and fell while I was with her and did not recover. So, I do feel guilt, but everyone tells me it is not my fault.”

“After she passed (I live in her home), I was half-asleep. She came into the bedroom. I saw her in my mind, very clear. My eyes were closed and I wanted to wake up but my body felt frozen. I saw her distinctly for about 3 seconds and immediately woke up.”

“The next month, I was still very upset when a similar thing happened. I was half-asleep and saw her in my mind come into the bedroom, sit in a chair and look at me, sort of like she was comforting me. I called out to her and immediately woke up.”

“Then again, another time, I heard her call my name while I was sleeping. In front of my face was a large pad of paper and a hand was writing on it, but I could not read it and again woke up.”

“This last week, (still very sad) I heard her ask me “What is the matter?” I heard myself speak out loud, “I am sad.” I don’t think I was in a deep sleep.”

“These do not seem like any regular dreams I’ve had. In fact, I don’t usually remember my dreams. I guess I really need to believe it is her but at the same time I am skeptical. I don’t know what to make of it all. I read that grief plays tricks on your mind and it is just the trauma of grief and not really the deceased person. My greatest wish is that it is really my mom and she is with me. That would calm me.”

Commentary- There is a stage of sleep we pass through as we begin to fully awaken. This stage is often associated with the memory of having vivid dreams, experiencing curious occurrences and a feeling of such realness, that it can leave one wondering what the heck just happened and what it all means. I call this stage the Twilight Bridge, for reasons I will explain.

Although I had certainly experienced this phenomenon before in my life and chalked it up as interesting, it didn’t become tremendously fascinating until after I had lost loved ones to death. It was only then that a pattern formed, when my departed would, many times, come to visit me there at the Twilight Bridge.

I call it the Twilight Bridge because it is that magical space between dimensions that connects a more liquid, lucid dream-like world to our solid, fixed waking world. It didn’t take me long to realize that, if I experienced a visitation with my departed loved one during this magical lucid stage, and especially if they were giving me some detailed information, which only happened on occasion, I only had minutes to write it down before the message quickly faded with the waking up to my daily world. Of course, I would remember the gist of what happened, but in thinking I would remember what happened so clearly later, to write it down, was a lesson in which I could never recover those complete fresh details ever again.

While deep in my grief, I would love to sleep, just for the possibility of a Twilight Bridge experience and what I would learn from it. I even trained myself, to the extent that I could, to monitor my dreams for visitations. I would practice lucidity and awareness. For instance, once I was aware that I was experiencing lucidity, I would train myself to look all around me to see what was there. To my surprise, I would often find departed loved ones right at the periphery of my awareness.

Sometimes the visitations were visual and aural with touch, like a regular visit with someone in this realm. Sometimes the visits were just auditory. But the voice was clear enough to not deny. There were times I was left with the memory of a feeling that something big and important had just happened. And… sometimes the messages would be more abstract and I would have to feel into the experience to decipher its true message.  But, whatever it was, it didn’t matter. It was one more chance to be with my loved one again in a way that was very real. Sometimes… even more real than in this physical realm. 

Having had my fair share of Out-of-Body Experiences, I did have the experience of actually meeting my loved ones in the space, part-way, between two worlds during that twilight time or twilight sleep stage. There was even one time when, while visiting with a deceased friend, I began to awaken, only to realize that I couldn’t move my body for a few minutes until I completely returned. At least that is exactly what it felt like to me.

I’m not even saying that we are meeting on an actual bridge somewhere. And maybe we are.  I am saying that the twilight state, in and of itself, seems to be the space for us to meet up between realms. And, that’s why I call it the Twilight Bridge. It’s a joy to experience.

Besides having these experiences during the twilight state where Jan would have the experience of being with her mother, she would also hear and see her as well. Although Jan was in a sleep state, she was on the Twilight Bridge. Jan was seeing with her spiritual eyes. Some people refer to them as the Third eye Chakra, others would say they were the eyes of the spirit. 

It’s funny but, we tend to think that using our physical eyes is where it’s at, as far as giving us information. Of course we would, dwelling in this physical realm. That’s what we are used to. But consider this. It is possible that we can actually see more sometimes, when our physical eyes are closed. We see some of the things the physical eyes might never see because of what the physical brain filters out as irrelevant to physical survival. Eyes closed in a particular meditative state makes it possible to connect more deeply with our spiritual self – a good self to know.

Learning to see with spiritual eyes has such value. Of course, your brain may not know what to think of it. And, that’s why people will doubt their spiritual experiences. Eventually, the brain that has no idea how to explain these things away, slowly begins to accept these unusual occurrences as legitimate experiences. 

Skepticism can be a good thing. Being cautious and even a little bit suspicious keeps us from being deceived in life and is considered useful to our brain for survival in our day to day experience. Also, filtering out what it thinks is irrelevant material, like it does, the brain might consider this spiritual stuff as made up fluff. Truth is… for many people, the brain has little use for a wild goose chase beyond the five physical senses. But… just because our finite brain doesn’t always understand or comprehend the spiritual stuff, it doesn’t mean it is not a “real” experience.

As far as Jan’s example of the traumatized brain playing tricks on one by re-creating departed loved ones? I have seen plenty of spiritual phenomena, including departed beings, while I was and was not traumatized by grief. It’s a thing! If it were true that grief-traumatized beings could hallucinate their departed loved one into existence… then why doesn’t it happen to the bereaved all the time? Honestly, you can’t manufacture an after-death communication. You can only provide the best space for it to occur.

It is common for a caretaker to feel guilty for one thing or another. As for Jan, the reality is that it was not your fault that your mother fell. I’m just impressed that your mother was still walking around at 99 years of age!

Also, your dreams were not regular dreams. They were vivid, distinct, memorable, remarkable and more real that the average non-sensical dreams. Your mother was definitely reaching out to you, repeatedly, just in case you had any doubts. Your mother doesn’t want you to feel guilty about her fall and that is was her time to go. She is at peace and out of pain. Your mother wanted you to know that and to comfort you in your sorrow over her passing. She has gone to great effort to show you that she is watching over you. The good news is that you are sensitive enough to allow her connection. 

The great thing is she let you know, for a certainty, that she lives. She survived the grave. She called your name so it would be clear to you that she was really with you and was really talking to you. The hand writing on paper represented the continued contact by your mother, in case you had any doubts of what she was doing. If there was an important message she was trying to leave you that you could not read, she would have made that message very clear. That part of that demonstration was abstract.

Now, since these amazing Twilight Bridge experiences don’t happen all the time, actually they do but we just don’t remember them, it is important for us to know that just because we don’t consciously see, hear, feel or experience them in some way, don’t for one moment think they don’t happen and that our departed loved ones are not present in our everyday lives. We only experience spiritual phenomena when we do and when there is a clear space for it to happen.

The only thing I would advise for anyone to do differently is to not “try” to wake up. Do not immediately engage in the physical world. In doing so, you are not only engaging the conscious brain with your return to this solid and fixed realm, but more importantly, you are pulling yourself out of the glorious, lucid space of your connection with your mom on the bridge. You have connected so many times with her in the space on the Twilight Bridge, already. Next time, stay there a little longer in that bliss to see what else happens.

In the meantime, trust your experiences. They are yours. 

A Representation of the Twilight Bridge

A Representation of the Twilight Bridge (Image by Pixabay)

Death From a Scientific Perspective

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An interesting scientific article, about the death of a loved one, offers a surprisingly encouraging and comforting perspective about afterlife existence.

Several years ago while grieving the loss of her husband, Jason, Lynda stumbled upon this NPR interview. She found it extremely comforting in a very fundamental way. Recently, Lynda shared this article with me. I found it so clear and amazing that I wanted to share it forward to those it might help to show that, in some ways, science and faith can interface in the best of ways. Hopefully, this interview will somehow assist in the comfort and healing of your loss.

Source:  NPR All Things Considered- 2015.
Host, Michele Norris and Guest, Commentator- Aaron Freeman, have the following conversation.

MICHELE NORRIS, host: Introduction of her guest:
“Commentator Aaron Freeman isn’t a person who does much planning ahead. However, if you like to look ahead to the future, he has some advice for you, advice on planning your funeral.”
AARON FREEMAN, guest:
“You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.”

“And at one point you’d hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.”

“And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives.”

“And you’ll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they’ll be comforted to know your energy’s still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you’re just less orderly. Amen.”

Commentary- When I think of science in general, I think of sterile environments, serious people in white lab coats and protective gloves and eyewear. When I think of physics, I think of mathematical formulas and the mechanics of matter and energy and remember that I was never great at math. Having lumped my sciences together, I imagined laboratory/clinical testing that is rather cold and impersonal. The process of hypothesis, evidence gathering, testing, measuring and observing, in an effort of proving a scientific theory, seemed stark and unfriendly to me. 

So for me, having personally experienced before, how very deep and devastating the grief of losing a loved one goes, I found this article’s perspective to be interesting and unusually reassuring in every way possible. I also found myself realizing that, on some level, my version of hard cold science and warm and fuzzy faith could possibly be describing some of the same things, just from different perspectives. Or… at the very least, they, in each of their viewpoints, form a simple foundation for science and faith to share in exploring existential questions of life, death and afterlife. The subject of matter and energy? Definitely more interesting to me now.

When confronted with a death of a loved one. By far, the deepest concern, even among people of faith, is whether their departed loved one still exist after their death. I mean, it’s natural that this question would begin to creep in. It’s a different world now. To go from being accustomed to experiencing our loved one with our usual physical senses for so long in the physical realm and then, suddenly, they are gone- no more to be seen, heard, felt or experienced in that same way is jarring. Without an after-death sign anywhere is sight, this might make one wonder about things that were previously just accepted and taken for granted.

It’s mind boggling to suddenly be forced to experience a departed loved one in a much different way, such as a spirit or an energy field… the subtle form of who they once were. In those who are abruptly thrust into facing such an existential crisis as a death, the survivors are forced into finding a deeper understanding and meaning for themselves. Of course, there are always some painfully nagging questions I  am asked about. Here are some of them-

  • I know what I’ve been taught, but does my loved one still exist? Really?
  • Is my departed loved one around me now?
  • Does my departed loved one remember me now? Care for me? Love me still? Am I important enough to be remembered?
  • Does my departed loved one know how I feel and what I’m thinking? I wish they knew. I wish I could tell them.
  • Can/will my departed loved one visit me at times or send signs for me?
  • Will my departed loved one guide my path and protect me throughout the days of my life?
  • Is my departed loved one happy and free?
  • Does my departed loved one want me to be happy and free?
  • Can my grief ever be healed? Will I ever smile again?
  • Will my departed loved one be there when I need them the most?

By the way, for anyone who might wonder about some of these same questions as well, my knowledge and experience informs me that the answer to all of these questions is yes, Absolutely.

So, where can science and faith possibly meet? Energy is the foundation we can build upon.

“The first law of thermodynamics, also known as Law of Conservation of Energy, states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed; energy can only be transferred or changed from one form to another. … In other words, energy cannot be created or destroyed.” What this means is that everything has always existed and can never not exist. It’s just that it can existed in one form or another.

The end is not really the end. There is no end. Even science, The Law of Conservation of Energy agrees. Not one bit of you (the foundational part of you) is gone. Like water, ice and condensation is the same just a different consistency, the form is another form now. Physical is now subtle energy. And, at some point, that can change form, too.

We are still together. Although we can’t explain exactly what that looks like, because we can’t comprehend that far outside of what our brains can think, we are made from the same energy fabric, always and forever. How could we not be together- always and forever? 

“You need not have faith; indeed, you should not have faith.” Because science knows what we’ve previously just had faith about. “They can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they’ll be comforted to know your energy’s still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you’re just less orderly. Amen.”

In other words, a departed loved one may not have a physical body at this time, but it doesn’t mean they no longer exist. They are just subtle energy now. It’s all energy though. We are all nothing but energy. We are one, together, always and forever.

They are a part of you, too. Even now, you influence them and they influence you. Energetically, they might even visit or give you a sign of their continued existence. They are still here, warming the way for us, through us and being our light as we wade through a chaotic world. Yet, with all these possibilities, many times, the saddest part of us falls prey to the belief that our departed loved one is far from us. Out there. Over there, somewhere… as if there were such a thing. What if they are over here, with us, within us, always and forever. What if that was not just a belief but an absolute knowing, instead? Without a sure knowledge, why would we choose to have the sad belief over the comforting one?

The author writes about what to tell the grieving widow, “All the photons that bounced from you (deceased husband) were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.”

There is a lasting impression left on each of us, by us. In the physical realm, and in an energetic way, we recognize and bear witness of one another and our experiences, always to be remembered. And even… until the point at which we may be re-membered to each other- in another form. How exciting it is that we have the possibility of being together, forever with our beloved ones while we experience them in different ways.

A Physicist many not say it like this, like a person of faith would, that the distillation of a departed person’s energy is also known as spirit, and some might, but to me, what both are saying is basically the same thing. One is stated from more of a clinical and impersonal perspective, while the other explanation of faith may occur as a more warm, fuzzy, personally meaningful way. What if both ways of discovery were legitimate? And not, one perspective is valid and the other is not.

spirit: photo credit pixabay

spirit photo credit: pixabay

If we still exist in some form or another aspect of that form, what else are we without a physical shell, if we are not spirit energy? I never realized that science could be so reassuring when it came to death and an afterlife. But in allowing the perspectives of science and faith to interface, I take it as further evidence of what I’ve always known spirituality to be. Both perspectives working together can give us reassurance, comfort and hope. In the end, we never die. All is well.

energy photo credit: pixabay

energy photo credit: pixabay

 

Special Occasion Visitations

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On the 4-year anniversary of his passing, Liz’s father reminds her that he is aware of this day, and makes his presence known to her on her laptop via Skype.

On July 14, 2020, Liz wrote:
“It’s been awhile, but I got another message today. Today is the 4th year of my Dad’s passing.”

laptop

laptop

“I came home this afternoon and turned on my laptop. It was doing an update. Once it had finished, the screen stayed black for an extremely long time, which made me wonder if something had gone wrong. Eventually, it sorted itself out and my desktop appeared, but I knew something was still going on in the background.”

“I waited, and eventually it all settled down when I notice an extra icon on my taskbar. It was Skype. I never use Skype. I put my curser on it and it said I was logged in. That was strange so I clicked on “log out” but instead of logging out, it brought Skype up.”

“When I looked at it, Billy, my partner, looked at it too, and asked, “Why are you looking at Skype?”  I told him it had started by itself. He asked me the last time I had used Skype. It was 4 years ago after my Dad passed. It was only then that I suspected a visit from my Dad.”

“We weren’t able to go back to the UK for his funeral, since he passed the day we arrived home from visiting him. My family told me not to come back, that we’d been there and seen him just days before and that we could be involved in his funeral via Skype, which we did.”

“So, I’ve come to the conclusion that this was Dad presenting himself on the very day of his passing, just four years later. I went into my update history and today’s update was a general windows 10-monthly update. There was nothing about Skype being included in it.”

Commentary- Sometimes our departed loved ones present themselves to us on special occasions such as, significant dates we once shared together, like holidays, birthdays and anniversaries. Although we normally tend to think of these special occasions as relatively happy events, after experiencing a painful loss, they are now sad, especially when the pain of a loved one’s passing is still fresh and unprocessed.

Even though we will always love and miss our departed ones, as we heal properly through the grief process, a visitation like the one Liz experienced, four years after her father’s passing, likely made her smile in awe and wonder. With the benefit of time, healing and a positive perspective, she avoided the all too common emotional breakdown of one newly affected by such loss, still reconciling and coping with the devastation it created.

Liz has had her share of visitations from her father, as well as others who have gone ahead of her. But knowing Liz the way I think I do, a long distance friend I’ve never met from another continent, who, in words and tone of emails, shares with me her experiences, I think I am safe to say that Liz handles the possibility of spiritual visitations with grace. She is open to receiving them… but does not go out to chase down these magical experiences. However badly she might want them, she allows them to come to her. And they do… whenever they do.

Some sad and frustrated grievers might wonder, “How come my departed loved one never visits me… especially on these important events that held so much meaning?” “There must be some reason. Are they mad at me? Have they forgotten me? Don’t they love me anymore? Am I doing something wrong?” “If I don’t have a visitation from them, I’m going to freak out!”

I’ve heard a variation of the above questions from concerned grievers so often and it breaks my heart. It does seem that in such a vulnerable and raw state of grief, our worst fears tend to surface. As if dealing with the loss of a loved one isn’t enough, our deepest fears (all the unknowns things of death) rear their ugly heads to further torment us by inflicting more pain. The disorientation of this new experience and what it entails, can be deeply unsettling and confusing. We just want a sign to help us feel better!

Given the fear that can come up in the face of a death, it’s easy to jump to the worst conclusions we can think of, instead of the best ones. Why is that? Why are we so quick to question the love and bonding we shared upon this Earth, and why so easily?

A positive and healthy perspective goes a long way here. Here is an example. If one comes from the perspective of scarcity, the tendency for that one will be to view/experience the world from a place of insecurity, unworthy, desperation, fear, never having enough of something, and thinking, “It”- (whatever “it” is) never happens to me. “It happens for others but not for me.” And… the one who sees the world in that way will see the world that way… and that one will be right. 

However, if one comes from the perspective of abundance, the tendency for that one will be to view/experience the world from a place of security, worthiness, patient confidence, opulent faith, grace, and thinking, “It could happen to me at any moment, just because it can. And, when it does… I’ll be there for it with an attitude of awe and wonder.” Perspective is powerful. Perspective is everything.

For sure, there is a huge difference between those perspectives. You can feel it in the energy of the words. The one with that powerful perspective generously allows into their experience, so much more.

perspective- dark and light

perspective- dark and light

You see, the experiences of our lives, live themselves out in the perceptions of our choosing, making our lives darker or lighter, heavy or more effortless. However, we are barely conscious or responsible for this. We pretend to have no choice in the matter. It’s just something that’s happening TO us.

Instead of allowing the dark side of fear and scarcity to take us down so quickly, without a fight, perhaps we can remember what really matters when the ‘rubber hits the road.’ While our loved one dwelled here physically with us on this planet, our departed loved us and bonded with us in complex ways that we could never begin to unravel. Our love is our commitment. Why would they simply forget about us now? They could not. It is fear and scarcity speaking that says they could forget you.

Even if you think your departed loved one isn’t here for you on your special occasion, our departed loved ones are here for us in whatever way they are. Trust that. We don’t always get a say in how that looks to us. And, sometimes they surprise us and we do. However, experiencing from the lens of abundance definitely helps to decrease our suffering, giving us the possibility of quicker healing too..

Give yourself some space to see from a positive and healthy lens. The hurtful questions of scarcity don’t need to be entertained. Have some faith in yourself and the love you invested in your loved one while you dwelled together on this planet. Have some faith in them, and the love they invested in you, too. Next time fear raises its ugly head to wonder about your status with your departed loved one, ask yourself this- “What would love do? What else would love do but keep on loving you?”

Abundance

Abundance

Understanding Shared-Death Phenomena

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Experiencing a spiritual phenomenon is amazing but can occur as jarring, as it calls the true nature of reality into question. Trust your spiritual senses.

Jay writes:
“It was January 1985. My mother, Ethel, was feeling very weak. She visited her doctor who said her heartbeat had become irregular and that she should be admitted to Maimonides Hospital in Brooklyn, New York, ASAP.”

“At the hospital, the doctor said that she needed a pacemaker. After receiving the pacemaker, she seemed well. They said they wanted to monitor her for a day or two before releasing her.”

“However, the second night she was in the hospital, I received a call from one of the doctors at about 3 AM, saying she had had a difficult night and was not doing well. They recommended that I come to the hospital immediately.”

“When I got to her room, one of the doctors said they almost lost her earlier but she was doing better. I went to her bedside. She was on a ventilator and seemed in distress. Because she was on a ventilator, she could not speak to me. She was in and out of consciousness but clearly upset when awake.”

“An alarm went off and the doctor and a nurse went to my mother’s bedside and began giving her CPR. As they worked on her, classical music played in the background. I do not recall a radio being in the room, but I recall thinking that the doctor must have put that music on to keep him relaxed while he was giving CPR.”

“As I stood there watching the scene of the doctor and nurse giving CPR to my mother, I saw a shadow slowly rise up from my mother’s body; a shadow that was clearly her. In the shadow, she was still in a hospital gown. Her face and body were quite clear. She appeared to look down at the scene of the doctor and nurse working on her body and me standing nearby. On her face, she had an expression of total shock and confusion, as if she was trying to understand what was happening.”

“After a while, the shadow seemed to return to her body. I assumed the doctor and nurse saw her image rise up as well, and would explain this phenomenon to me when they finished giving CPR.  However, they never said a word about it. If they did see it, they didn’t say, and I never asked about it. My mother died a few hours later.”

“I have been haunted by this experience my entire life. Was it my imagination?  What happened that night? What I witnessed seemed quite clear to me at the time. I was quite awake. It seemed more than real.”

“I think about this experience often, even to this day. I often search to see if others have had similar experiences. It is only because of the internet that I have learned about the concept of Shared Death Experiences. I believe that this experience was an SDE. I have never had another experience like this.”

Commentary- Shared-death experiences are not as well known as after-death communications, but they are happening with increasing frequency as this spiritual reality begins to permeate everyday consciousness. That is, in general, when we know a possibility exists, we are more open and available to experiencing it for ourselves. 

Although in Jay’s case, he was completely caught off guard as his brain struggled to make sense of the inexplicable at the time. Our brains take in a lot of information in each moment. Much of this information focuses on an estimation of navigating and surviving our environment in all areas of life, in the best way possible. It’s not that we are always conscious of this, but if you purposely tune into to even a small area of your life, you can see that your brain has some sort of a plan to succeed at its intended goals. 

A simple example of this would be to do something or be a certain way as to avoid pain or trouble. The human brain is always making calculations. Since the brain is so busy with every second of life, it screens out excess, irrelevant material. One’s brain may operate within a particular bandwidth, thereby eliminating what it considers NOT important to one’s immediate physical, emotional, mental survival and may discount the “on the fringes” spiritual aspect.

So, you can imagine the surprise when Jay experienced what he did. His thoughts, then focused on the very survival of his mother, most unexpectedly led him into the “spiritual fringes” as his mother’s life hung in the balance. He heard classical music playing as a background soundtrack as the doctor and nurse worked furiously to revive her. Surely there must have been a logical explanation for this. Jay’s brain was trying to make sense of this spiritual episode. Well, at least his logical left brain side was.

To top that off, Jay witnesses his mother’s spirit rising from her body. Seeing her expression clearly, it was most apparent that she, too, was struggling with the whole event. Between Jay and his mother, they were experiencing a similar form of denial; one of the brain and the other of the mind. These levels of consciousness can appear as the same until the spirit is further away from its physical body, at which point a greater consciousness takes over.

Interestingly, the vision of his mother was so obvious to Jay that he was sure the nurse and doctor could have seen it. The thing is, while they were busy focusing on the physical survival of Jay’s mother, he was able to catch a glimpse of her spirit.

I wrote about Shared-death experience many years ago, after I went to a lecture given by Psychiatrist, Dr. Raymond Moody. He recorded an enormous collection of people’s after-death communications. In all his writings, he would never settle on the validity of these after-death communications. But finally, after many years, he did finally come out, in that lecture, for the reality of these other-worldly experiences, as he bore his first-hand witness account of the shared-death experience he experienced with his mother’s passing. You can read this account at, Shared-Death Experience.

Jay talks about the haunting that comes from not understanding what happened or how it was even possible. While the left side of our brain often questions spiritual events as illogical, to the right brain, spiritual phenomena is especially logical and makes perfect sense. It’s that simple. Jay existed in that spiritual world for a time. He experienced what he experienced in the spiritual realm, before he was released back into the physical realm.

A common hallmark of Jay’s experience in the spiritual world is found in what Jay mentioned. He said his experience seemed more real than the reality of this life, or the reality of what we are used to. Spiritual experiences demonstrate that there is more to this physical reality than we know and the spiritual realm can seem considerably more real than the physical one. Since we dwell in this physical realm, it may not be our usual experience to constantly perceive our lives through a spiritual lens. Some will more than others. But, although we do at times, it’s an amazing thing when we witness a spiritual event. Jay was given something very special. Besides being physically present when his mother passed, he was spiritually present enough to witness it. For sure, Jay must be pleased to know his mother still exists beyond the body..

For those who believe in an afterlife, we know that at our core, we are spiritual beings, first, experiencing a physical experience. We know that spiritual experiences, however fleeting, they are real. However, having dwelled in the physical dimension for some time, we become accustomed to forgetting our original selves, while thinking that our physical senses rule.

But, being a multi-dimensional being in the physical realm, it’s important that we remember that we are actually both. 

Are Orbs Real?

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Orbs can mysteriously appear in our photographic images. Sometimes they are obvious, sometimes they are inconspicuous. Some people say they are actual spiritual energy, some people say they are nothing more than backscatter and wishful thinking. But the final word of truth, in the debate over these interesting orb light shows, might really exist within.  Continue reading →

Unexplainable Wind Gust

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After tossing and turning and unable to sleep one night, Liz turns her thoughts to her departed father, when she experiences an unexplainable gust of wind in her face.

Liz writes:
“I usually sleep really well, but if I wake up around 3 am, I meditate myself back to sleep and go on beautiful journeys. This night, nothing could get me back to sleep no matter how hard I tried, so gave up turned over and thought of my Dad who had crossed over.”

“After awhile of thinking of my Dad, I gave up on that, too, and turned over again. My side of the bed is next to the window- about 3 feet away. The window was only open 2 inches. The blinds were down, but blades open. As I lay there with closed eyes and an arm and leg out of the covers, I felt a strong gust of wind in my face. Nowhere else on my bare arm or leg or chest, just straight in the face.” Continue reading →

Spiritual Guidance

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In this after-death communication, Bonnie receives validation that her departed father watches over his family… even still.

Bonnie writes:
“I believe in life after death 100%. My dad once gave me a message in my dream to bail my son, Robert, out of jail who was in lockup for driving without a license. And sure enough… when I woke up, there was a message saying to come & bail my son out from Fairfax County lockup. This message was left two o’clock in the morning when I was asleep. My dad was very close to my son and me. Our parents watch over us.”

Commentary- Our departed loved ones watch over us from beyond, even when we think they might be doing something else. Their love, care and concern for us does not diminish, even if we think they are far removed from us. This is clear from Bonnie’s example. Continue reading →

Flies Are People Too!

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On the anniversary of her birthday, a departed Grandma visits her surprised but delighted family in this after-death communication, in a very unusual way.

Donna writes:
“Recently, my son took his little sister and girlfriend to my mom’s grave – it was her birthday. I had to take my other son to the doctor, which took longer than expected, so I couldn’t get to the cemetery. As they were ready to leave the cemetery, my daughter started to cry for her grandma. Then, all of the sudden, a big fly landed on Grandma’s headstone and just sat there! My son started talking to it as it was my mom! They were able to touch it and it didn’t fly away.” Continue reading →

The Consolation From Loss

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On the day of Michel’s memorial of spreading his ashes in the forest in France, Joanna wonders how her beloved husband would give her a sign.

Joanna writes:
“We had just finished spreading Michel’s ashes in the woods at the same tree in France where Michel’s brothers ashes are. I had been asking for a sign from Michel that day but had no idea what he could scare up in the middle of the forest. But he delivered!” Continue reading →

Heavenly Signs

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When Liz gets an after-death communication from her father to reveal his presence, she usually sees it in the sky.

Cross in the sky

Cross in the sky

Liz writes:
“My partner and I were on holiday. On our last afternoon we were having a few drinks in a pub and when I looked into the sky, I saw a cloud formation in the shape of a cross. To be perfectly honest, I was thinking nothing profound. Although I do spend a lot of time thinking about my Dad, and talking to God, at this moment we were just sitting there.”

“But this time, I was quick enough to take a picture, unlike the last time. My partner saw it too, unlike the last time. I believe it was something, but why, who, what?” Continue reading →

Angels of Heaven and Earth

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When Amy looks at her childhood Bible, after 40 years, she realizes that one of her deceased ‘Air Force Dads’ has watched over her for years.

Amy writes:

Carl

Carl

“Last Memorial Day weekend, I had been thinking about all of my Air Force Dads, including my own Dad. In military life, you make fast friends and everyone is close. Several of the men that my dad flew with are like second fathers to me.”

“Captain Carl Hunt was on my mind that weekend. I had been thinking of him as the day approached. Carl died before I ever met him. He died in a training accident in 1959 when a Canadian F-102 collided with the B47 he was in.” Continue reading →