Category Archives: Death of a beloved

There is nothing more painful than the loss of a loved one, who has left a void in the minds, hearts, souls and lives of those who loved that one.

There Is No Place Like Home

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In this after-death communication, Kim’s husband, Terry, hunkers down as a spirit in his home, until he’s good and ready to go to the light.

Kim writes:
“Terry, my husband of 36 years, passed away 6 weeks ago from a horrific battle with prostate/bone cancer. I cannot stop crying.”

“About 5 weeks after his passing, I had a dream that I saw him in his bedroom putting on his pajamas. There were 2 young girls that I did not know standing there. They were in their teens and had long, wavy hair that was parted in the middle. Pardon me for sounding snotty, but they were rather homely looking. They looked almost like twins. Both were wearing a sleeveless, cream colored, slip-over type dress. The material was lightweight and the girls were barefoot.”

“I was standing in the hallway of our house, right at the doorway of his bedroom. The girls were facing me, but Terry was facing the chest of drawers in front of him so I had a side view of him. It seemed as though he had gotten something out of his drawers, probably the pajamas he was putting on. The two girls stared at me, saying nothing, not smiling, they just stared at me. My husband did not look at me! I could not believe he would ignore me! If those girls “saw” me, why didn’t my husband see me?”

“The feeling I got from the girls was very ominous! As if they were telling me NOT to come near Terry! Terry never saw me. Or if he knew I was there, would not acknowledge me? I felt so very scared and hurt!”

Commentary- This dream is symbolic as well as an actual peek into an important moment for Terry. Kim’s dream tells the story of what had happened in that moment so that Kim could be privy to this knowledge and be comforted in her grief.

Although Terry had already passed 6 weeks earlier, in Kim’s dream, he was at home, doing some things he always did, one of which was to put on his pajamas.

Guardian Angel

Guardian Angel

The two barefoot girls were guardian angels. They appeared as plain in looks and dress because the emphasis was not on them, it was on Terry. Given how amazing it would be to actually see guardian angels, beautiful or even homely, elaborate or plain, Terry was to be the focal point of what Kim was to notice most. But, just an interesting note here, for whatever reason, the bare feet on a spiritual visitor is commonly an indicator of someone not of this world, but instead, the heavenly realms.

Although this experience occurred in a dream, Kim was having an out of body experience and was actually seeing a close up of the reality of the situation with her spiritual eyes.

Right at his bedroom door, Kim sees Terry, going about the day to day motions of living, in this case, one of them is putting on his pajamas as he get ready to go to sleep. He is facing away from Kim. The angels are facing toward Kim, seeming ominous so that Kim does not disrupt the process that is happening.

What was happening? Until that moment, Terry was refusing to leave his home and his wife. Feeling helpless in leaving his wife and life behind, he was hunkered down to stay, so to speak, but rapidly losing that fight with reality. In this light, we see angels who were there guarding his spirit, allowing Kim to witness what happened in the end, yet warning Kim with their minds not to interfere in the process of his imminent ascension into the light that was about to happen.

Terry with his now departed pet, Woody, now together again

Terry with his now departed pet, Woody, now together again

It does happen that spirits may try to stay where they were most comfortable, in their home and with the people they love. It wasn’t that Terry didn’t know his body had already passed. He did, but he also knew that he, as a spirit, was alive and wanted to stay. It’s okay that it happens. It works it’s way out one way or another, so there is no need to worry about this if it happens. People and spirits have free will. Either way, Terry was not ready yet and it would not happen one second before he was good and ready. This might have felt like the only control he had at the time, so he used it.

Although, it’s interesting to note that Terry was in his pajamas, which are people’s end of the day clothes. This represents that he was getting ready to slip into another level of consciousness. He knew leaving this realm was inevitable, it was just a matter of will and process, and now it was time.

It’s also common for people who have dreams in which their loved ones don’t acknowledge them, to think their loved one is mad at them for something. This is not true, it’s just a fear the griever may have. Although Terry was not aware of Kim at the time, because he was in a slightly different dimension, he was aware of his situation and that it was time to go.

Signaling a tense moment, he angels appeared ominous to keep Kim away, as it would have made things even harder for Terry to make his transition if he were actually aware of her. Terry, not looking at Kim in her dream, was never about hurting or ignoring her, it was about not trying to hurt her by sticking around as long as he could to protect and watch over her.

As I’m writing this, I’m realizing that not only is this post about an after-death communication from Terry, Kim’s out of body experience, but also, really close to a shared-death experience, that Kim was privileged to witness. A shared death experience, because she actually saw the moment before Terry ascended from the physical realm and into the light. What amazing experiences these all are and so powerful and effective to healing and knowing that the spirit does go on and on after this life.

Kim and Terry's home fire

Kim and Terry’s home fire

There is no place like home. We’ve heard that a lot, and we love our homes. Besides the physical structures that we call our home, there are the emotional and mental structures of support that we love and give us comfort, too. Kim is Terry’s home. Terry is Kim’s home. 

Kim knows Terry fought his mightiest to stay in this realm despite the pull on him to do otherwise, but in the end, Terry had to succumb to the inevitability of his spirit’s heavenly home. However, after going into the light, I’m sure it didn’t take long for Terry to realize that he wasn’t limited to just one place. Once returned to the protection of the light, and are debriefed in the knowledge of the light, it doesn’t mean our departed loved ones can’t be with us in our daily lives too. They can and do with the protection of the light of heaven. Otherwise, a soul who stays and does not go to the light is just another haunting. Remember, free will exists for people and spirits. And, I’m glad to say that Terry found his way to the light and still spends time with Kim in their home. Kim still feels Terry’s presence around their home and is greatly comforted by it. 

Heavenly home

Heavenly home

And one day, not so far away, Kim and Terry will joyfully and fully reunite, face to face, once more in their heavenly home together. But for now, home is where the heart is. And, there’s no place like home. And, there’s no one like our loved ones.

Note- Our brains are complex. But, if you can actually comprehend the simplicity of what I’m about to tell you, here is the best kept secret ever. We can never really be apart from one another- in life or in, what we call, death. We are always connected in our spiritual hearts. No, really. We are.

A Non-Believer’s Experience

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As a hardcore non-believer in an afterlife, with his wife’s passing, Jayson’s mind is quickly changed to show him it exists.

Jayson writes:
“I was possibly the most skeptical person you could find when it came to this kind of stuff. Seriously, didn’t buy any of it. If your dead, your dead. That was it for me.”

“I won’t go into the details but, my wife, mother of my 4 children passed away 3 years ago. 7 days after her death a single Lily grew in our backyard under the tree. This was her favorite flower.”

“We had never planted lilies or really even ventured back to that part of the yard. There is a bit of a steep slope under the tree so, it was hard to get to. But, there it grew. One lone lily. And from that day on, I knew. I knew there was more to this whole thing. It gave such a sense of relief that she was okay and onto greener pastures. (No pun intended).”

“That’s my story. I now know that death is not the end. Quite possibly the beginning. I’m not arrogant enough to claim I know anything more than what I’ve seen and felt. But I can assure you….This isn’t it.”

Commentary- Occasionally, a non-believer will write to genuinely ask me how I know that all this afterlife stuff is real. It’s a really easy question to answer.

In so many words, Jayson said it perfectly with the sharing of his own after-death experience. Basically, you don’t know anything about this spiritual stuff until the moment that you do. When you have a personal “beyond this world” experience that is undeniable, there is no longer any question to entertain. Even if you can’t understand it, like Jayson, when it happens, you know first-hand that this afterlife stuff is real… and you can never go back.

So hang in there non-believers who want to believe. Just one moment can change everything in an instant. 

Visiting A Departed Loved One

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Receiving an after-death communication from a departed loved one is an out-of-this-world experience. What if it were possible for us to visit them, as well?

Christian

Christian

It’s been 10 years since that tragic day of Christian‘s passing. It happened on March 31, 2010. With the ambulance on its way, Christian struggled for his life. In the end, it wasn’t meant to be.

Those were some of the darkest days I’ve ever experienced. For sure, there were some dark years to follow. I don’t know if I could have ever survived that great loss had he not visited me so much from the afterlife. It was with dreams, visions, and the other forms of communication, as well as some things he left behind for me, that he taught me so much about life and the afterlife. I learned that it’s really all just one big thing. An example of this is the Yin/Yang symbol. Each side of black and white look so different when really they are both sides to the same whole. For his teachings I am eternally grateful to him for his comfort and illumination.

The other day as I was going through older posts I had written, I ran across a beautiful experience that I had written about visiting Christian, after his death. For reference, the post is, Never Far From Home. The very next morning of remembering this amazing experience, I woke up from another “dream” of the same exact variety. This made me realize- even more so, that as our departed loved ones sometimes visit us with a sign or after-death communication, it is possible for us, on a spiritual level, to venture off to visit them in their world, too. Although mostly, it is quite accidental that we make this discovery.

It just so happened that during that same time frame, a man wrote to me, puzzled and somewhat disappointed as to why, when he was so happy to see his beloved wife while lucid dreaming, she did not notice him at all. That subject does not come up much. It is probably because when it happens, people just think it was some sort of a meaningless, but cruel dream. People may also take it as though their departed loved one is ignoring them, because they are mad or disappointed, when they are not. This kind of thing can bring up insecurity in the bereaved, creating even more pain from their loss.

As I was wondering what to share to honor Christian’s 10 year anniversary of passing, with my recent realization, as well as this man’s question, I realized that the sharing of this subject of us visiting our departed loved ones and the illumination of it, was the right thing to post.

I chose this recent dream of mine to translate, as I saw that it plainly laid out some important steps in the mechanics of how these visitations with our loved ones, take place.  After looking deeper into what, at first look, seemed like a hodgepodge dream that could have easily been dismissed, in it, I found some real gems of insight, hopefully important enough to shed some light.

In my dream, I went into the garage to get some air. The garage door was open and it was dark out there beyond my garage door to the outside world. To my right, I noticed there was a reflection on the window of a vehicle that was parked there in the garage. At first, it didn’t make sense as there was no light source to make that possible.

As I turned to focus on what was causing the light reflection, I saw it was Christian. It was like watching him on a television. He never looked at me once. He didn’t even know that I was there. I saw him from the side view. The image was mostly full length. He looked very happy and occupied with something that gave him great pleasure. Then, I slowly woke up as I transitioned back into my physical daytime world.

Now, about visiting our departed loved ones. I will repeat the dream again, breaking it down, but with the symbolic translation this time, as well as, some steps to be aware of to recognize this phenomenon when it does happen.

In my dream, I went into the garage to get some air.
Translation: I needed a new perspective, so I went outside my home (my body) to accomplish this. My spirit did not go far from my body when this happened as I stayed within the garage. Wanting to get some air is also wanting to get a fresh breath of new perspective, as this is considered vital to a healthy functioning life.
Steps: Open to new perspectives. Willingness to see them. Considering perspective to be vital, healthy and important to understanding others, self and the life/afterlife in which we live. 

The garage door was open and it was dark out there beyond my garage door to the outside world.
Translation: My mind was open and I was available to be shown something just outside what many call, “The box.” The darkness represents the unknown. I was okay with going into the unknown or “out of the box” to be shown something new. The outside world to me represents “God” territory.
Steps: Again. Having an open mind. Willing to be vulnerable and teachable. Wanting to know something and being willing to let go enough to know. Being aware of the fact that we don’t know everything, in fact, we know very little in relation to what is there. Trusting the process and that in the end, what is called “God” is the only knower of everything and will enlighten us.

To my right, I noticed there was a reflection on the window of a vehicle as it was parked there in the garage. At first, it didn’t make sense as there was no light source to make that possible.
Translation: At first, here is my brain trying to make sense of something it considers to be illogical, as this did not seem to follow the laws of the physical world. However, through time, my brain has gotten used to the fact that it doesn’t always understand many of the spiritual events of my life. My brain knows that much of the knowledge of spiritual events exist beyond it’s reach of understanding. My brain does not see this as a threat. In this case, my brain quickly realized that the light source was one of a spiritual nature, and unthreatened, sat back to marvel at what it saw.
Steps: Be open to spiritual events. Be open to possibilities that seem to be impossible for the brain to consider. The brain can’t explain everything and that’s okay. It doesn’t have to in order for one to have spiritual experiences.

As I turned to focus on what was causing the light reflection, I saw it was Christian. It was like watching him on a television.
Translation: The television in the glass window of the vehicle was a portal, a window through time/no time, just like the window I also watched him through in my post, Never Far From Home. That window just manifested itself a little differently, but it was a portal nonetheless. Windows and openings to view through or enter are usually spiritual portals. I saw into this portal with my spiritual eyes since the event happened with my physical eyes closed while in a lucid dream.
Steps: Be willing to see what’s there. Some people are afraid to look. Open your eyes enough that your spiritual eyes will open up, too. If there is fear, change it into excitement. If there is cynicism and doubt, transform that into wonder. Being a spiritual explorer means visiting new spiritual dimensions with enthusiasm and awe.

Christian never looked at me. He didn’t even know that I was there. Though I saw him from the side view, mainly, his image was mostly full and actual length.
Translation: If you really think about the logistic of this, this would have actually been impossible in the physical reality, given the full length size of Christian (6’3″), and the smaller size of even the largest car window (2 feet, tops). He was actual size in the window, but the window of the vehicle was quite a bit smaller. These are examples of unexplained space distortions that are also an indication of occurring spiritual events.
Also, the fact that he didn’t look at me is clear. He didn’t see me.
Steps: Spiritual phenomena may seem strange to some. For sure, it is foreign to many of us in this physical existence. Because of this, it is important to adjust your personal/worldview perspective to be able to adapt. Learning to recognize spiritual experiences is kind of like learning a new language, or better said… remembering it. It’s like blurring your eyes to bring something else into focus. It’s like tuning in to the background of life; all the subtleties It’s about nuance, too. It’s about allowing the self as you know it to expand and become limitless.

He looked very happy and occupied with something that gave him great pleasure. Then, I woke up. 
Translation: Although he didn’t see me, I got to see him. He was happy and busy doing something he loved. He is fine.
Steps: Be open to the possibility of seeing them, as well as, the other way around. We are really never far away from those we love.
Keep a dream journal at your bedside and record your dreams before they fade away. There is a lot of information contained for you in those dreams. You can always translate the contents later if you don’t have the chance to do it right away, but it’s really difficult to recall the dream of your departed loved one as you get even moments farther from it. 

Sometimes we have dreams of our loved ones who have passed. We are hopeful when we do, but when they don’t turn to acknowledge us, it can cause some emotional pain. Like, how cruel to finally get to see our loved one and they don’t even see us. We often discount the experience as just a dream without ever realizing that when they visit us… many times we don’t turn to acknowledge them, either. This is just what happens. Sometimes we don’t meet up at the right times, but we do visit one another to some degree, and sometimes when we do meet up, it’s because together again, we’ve aligned for that single moment in time… until we align for good, in the next realm together forever.

Stonehenge Alignment

Stonehenge Alignment Image:Pixabay

Understanding Shared-Death Phenomena

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Experiencing a spiritual phenomenon is amazing but can occur as jarring, as it calls the true nature of reality into question. Trust your spiritual senses.

Jay writes:
“It was January 1985. My mother, Ethel, was feeling very weak. She visited her doctor who said her heartbeat had become irregular and that she should be admitted to Maimonides Hospital in Brooklyn, New York, ASAP.”

“At the hospital, the doctor said that she needed a pacemaker. After receiving the pacemaker, she seemed well. They said they wanted to monitor her for a day or two before releasing her.”

“However, the second night she was in the hospital, I received a call from one of the doctors at about 3 AM, saying she had had a difficult night and was not doing well. They recommended that I come to the hospital immediately.”

“When I got to her room, one of the doctors said they almost lost her earlier but she was doing better. I went to her bedside. She was on a ventilator and seemed in distress. Because she was on a ventilator, she could not speak to me. She was in and out of consciousness but clearly upset when awake.”

“An alarm went off and the doctor and a nurse went to my mother’s bedside and began giving her CPR. As they worked on her, classical music played in the background. I do not recall a radio being in the room, but I recall thinking that the doctor must have put that music on to keep him relaxed while he was giving CPR.”

“As I stood there watching the scene of the doctor and nurse giving CPR to my mother, I saw a shadow slowly rise up from my mother’s body; a shadow that was clearly her. In the shadow, she was still in a hospital gown. Her face and body were quite clear. She appeared to look down at the scene of the doctor and nurse working on her body and me standing nearby. On her face, she had an expression of total shock and confusion, as if she was trying to understand what was happening.”

“After a while, the shadow seemed to return to her body. I assumed the doctor and nurse saw her image rise up as well, and would explain this phenomenon to me when they finished giving CPR.  However, they never said a word about it. If they did see it, they didn’t say, and I never asked about it. My mother died a few hours later.”

“I have been haunted by this experience my entire life. Was it my imagination?  What happened that night? What I witnessed seemed quite clear to me at the time. I was quite awake. It seemed more than real.”

“I think about this experience often, even to this day. I often search to see if others have had similar experiences. It is only because of the internet that I have learned about the concept of Shared Death Experiences. I believe that this experience was an SDE. I have never had another experience like this.”

Commentary- Shared-death experiences are not as well known as after-death communications, but they are happening with increasing frequency as this spiritual reality begins to permeate everyday consciousness. That is, in general, when we know a possibility exists, we are more open and available to experiencing it for ourselves. 

Although in Jay’s case, he was completely caught off guard as his brain struggled to make sense of the inexplicable at the time. Our brains take in a lot of information in each moment. Much of this information focuses on an estimation of navigating and surviving our environment in all areas of life, in the best way possible. It’s not that we are always conscious of this, but if you purposely tune into to even a small area of your life, you can see that your brain has some sort of a plan to succeed at its intended goals. 

A simple example of this would be to do something or be a certain way as to avoid pain or trouble. The human brain is always making calculations. Since the brain is so busy with every second of life, it screens out excess, irrelevant material. One’s brain may operate within a particular bandwidth, thereby eliminating what it considers NOT important to one’s immediate physical, emotional, mental survival and may discount the “on the fringes” spiritual aspect.

So, you can imagine the surprise when Jay experienced what he did. His thoughts, then focused on the very survival of his mother, most unexpectedly led him into the “spiritual fringes” as his mother’s life hung in the balance. He heard classical music playing as a background soundtrack as the doctor and nurse worked furiously to revive her. Surely there must have been a logical explanation for this. Jay’s brain was trying to make sense of this spiritual episode. Well, at least his logical left brain side was.

To top that off, Jay witnesses his mother’s spirit rising from her body. Seeing her expression clearly, it was most apparent that she, too, was struggling with the whole event. Between Jay and his mother, they were experiencing a similar form of denial; one of the brain and the other of the mind. These levels of consciousness can appear as the same until the spirit is further away from its physical body, at which point a greater consciousness takes over.

Interestingly, the vision of his mother was so obvious to Jay that he was sure the nurse and doctor could have seen it. The thing is, while they were busy focusing on the physical survival of Jay’s mother, he was able to catch a glimpse of her spirit.

I wrote about Shared-death experience many years ago, after I went to a lecture given by Psychiatrist, Dr. Raymond Moody. He recorded an enormous collection of people’s after-death communications. In all his writings, he would never settle on the validity of these after-death communications. But finally, after many years, he did finally come out, in that lecture, for the reality of these other-worldly experiences, as he bore his first-hand witness account of the shared-death experience he experienced with his mother’s passing. You can read this account at, Shared-Death Experience.

Jay talks about the haunting that comes from not understanding what happened or how it was even possible. While the left side of our brain often questions spiritual events as illogical, to the right brain, spiritual phenomena is especially logical and makes perfect sense. It’s that simple. Jay existed in that spiritual world for a time. He experienced what he experienced in the spiritual realm, before he was released back into the physical realm.

A common hallmark of Jay’s experience in the spiritual world is found in what Jay mentioned. He said his experience seemed more real than the reality of this life, or the reality of what we are used to. Spiritual experiences demonstrate that there is more to this physical reality than we know and the spiritual realm can seem considerably more real than the physical one. Since we dwell in this physical realm, it may not be our usual experience to constantly perceive our lives through a spiritual lens. Some will more than others. But, although we do at times, it’s an amazing thing when we witness a spiritual event. Jay was given something very special. Besides being physically present when his mother passed, he was spiritually present enough to witness it. For sure, Jay must be pleased to know his mother still exists beyond the body..

For those who believe in an afterlife, we know that at our core, we are spiritual beings, first, experiencing a physical experience. We know that spiritual experiences, however fleeting, they are real. However, having dwelled in the physical dimension for some time, we become accustomed to forgetting our original selves, while thinking that our physical senses rule.

But, being a multi-dimensional being in the physical realm, it’s important that we remember that we are actually both. 

Their Presence in our Lives

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We may doubt at times, wondering if our departed loved ones are still with us in any way. Have faith in them, and their continued loving presence in our lives.

Karen writes:
“It has been over four years now since I have been with Marcus in physical form. Although I no longer cry tears on a daily basis, I think of him, talk to him, miss him every day, and love him all the time. Now and then, I still shed tears and the grief overwhelms me. This was the case as the holidays were coming. I miss him so much during that time. Marcus was/is an amazing gift giver, and used to spoil me around the holidays and birthdays. He did this for his entire family.”

“Since his passing on to heaven, he continues to give me signs and gifts around the holidays and birthdays – including his birthday. This year, Christmas day came and went and although I exchanged a gift with him in his stocking, I felt lonely. I was talking to him in my mind, and lamenting the fact that all of the gifts I have given him since his passing, are just really gifts to myself, hanging on a special jewelry tree stand in my room.”

“I typically give him a special ornament every year, and have quite a collection now, including hearts, feathers, dandelions, and more. Everything has a meaning or a connection to Marcus. This year, I gave him a silver heart. Usually, we would exchange gifts on Christmas eve, but this year that night was so busy that I had to postpone our exchange until Christmas night.”

“That evening, I gave him the silver heart, and wondered secretly why he had not given me anything this year that I could call a true sign. It would have been the first Christmas to come and go without an obvious sign from him since his passing. Although I understand the nature of signs, and that we can’t depend on them, my heart was missing this at this time of year.”

“I was driving the next day, the day after Christmas, and was again thinking about our gift exchange. I even apologized for being late this year and asked him if he liked his heart. I got home from my errands, and took the doggies out for our daily walk. As we were walking, I was still thinking of Marcus, and missing him. I was listening to my ‘heaven’ playlist, songs that he has sent me over the years, and it made me feel closer to him.”

Karen's Christmas Coins

Karen’s Christmas Coins

“As I approached my house again, rounding out from the walk, a sparkle caught my eye. I saw a dime right in front of my driveway, and reached down to pick it up. I looked further, and noticed another, then another, and still another- I looked around to see if maybe someone had a purse that emptied while I was out for my walk- looking for an explanation. As my eyes scanned the area, I saw more and more dimes. Now they appeared sprinkled in front of my entire front lawn. It was as if someone threw a roll of dimes in the air right in front of my house.”

 

Karen's Christmas Coins

Karen’s Christmas Coins

“Oddly, it was only dimes. No other coins…. all in all 16 dimes! I was laughing- giddy- just filled with joy at this obvious gift as I collected up the dimes. Marcus gave me the feeling of joy, as if he had gotten me with his sense of humor – making me think he had forgotten. In my mind he was saying that he was glad I found them before the snow storm set in later that day. I am so forever grateful for his continued signs and presence in my life.”

Commentary- Many people receive signs from, or feel the presence of a deceased loved one after they have passed. Some recognize the signs right away while others, who remain open to the possibility, take a little longer to see them. Some people have to be taught to recognize them. Then there are those frustrated believer grievers that don’t believe they receive anything at all. No signs, no after-death communications, no nothing. Then, they go straight to some version of, “What’s wrong with me that I don’t get them?” “Doesn’t my loved one care?”

For those in the latter category, those signs, and the feeling of their loved ones presence may already be happening, but be misinterpreted as some sort of coincidence or wishful thinking. Some may not even be aware, as the fear and trauma of a death has the ability to put one’s state of mind anywhere but in the present. I will discuss this more in one of my next posts entitled, “There’s No Place Like the Present” as it relates to grief.

In the state of grief, many people discount spiritual experiences as inauthentic, as they focus more on the painful reality of their new life. Their priority may be about dealing more with the physical shock and pain, and less about spiritually tuning in. There may be so much negative emotional trauma, it can be easy to miss their departed loved ones support through all the grief and pain. It’s like the pain is so loud in our heads, that the comfort can’t be heard or felt. This is truly a confusing time of crisis, where the upheaval of one’s life practically upends all sense of stability, perception and faith. It takes a while to recover to a state of normality and familiarity.

But, at some point, we might become aware of the comfort that has been there in the midst of the sadness. We might begin to notice the signs because we can now be reached… we are now available. We might now be able to hear a little better, as the noise of devastation settles down a bit.

Whether or not we have been aware of signs or our loved ones presence, they are there, I’m sure. But sometimes, they are very subtile and take a particular way of looking and listening that is unlike that of the looking/listening we are used to in this physical  realm.

I have received hundreds of signs from people who have lost a loved one. They are immortalized within the pages of this site, along with numerous after-death communications. Signs look like rainbows, dragonflies and other winged things, cloud projections of angels and hearts, the unexplained sudden and surprising appearance of coins, as was Karen’s experience.

There are literal signs on the road, on a billboard or a license plate. There are far too many to list here, but the thing about them being something special, is the enlightened feeling that this sign is a personal message to that one receiving it. It is the feeling of being “singled out” in an obvious and meaningful way that is hard to deny. More times than not, you absolutely know it when it happens, but still might ask yourself, “Am I going crazy?” At first you might think you are.

Often, we can feel their presence. As we listen and feel, it may come in quiet moments of reflection that often manifest as a feeling of being hugged or touched and a tingling sensation that follows. Their voice might pop into our heads, or a literal message might manifest in a show or song. You might catch a scent that is associated only to the departed. You might even briefly see them.

These simple spiritual manifestations make it possible for us to know and feel comfort that our loved ones still exist. Signs are given to show those left behind, that they are not going through this devastating time alone. Although it is exceedingly painful to go through the pain of grief, we may feel some sort of comfort and support from our departed loved one.

If you just close your eyes and take a deep breath of reassurance, it is possible to feel them next to you. No, it’s not like when they were in the physical realm, but we take what we can get, for things are different now and we must get used to it. But, do not let your brain deceive you, just because you can’t experience in the ways you always did, it doesn’t mean they ever left. It doesn’t make sense that they would leave us in our greatest time of need. Would you do that to your loved ones? Love as powerful as it is, would not be stopped by heaven or hell. There are so many signs and after-death communications, from so many people to prove it.

As far as a time frame, as it relates to their presence, contrary to what some say, it has been my experience that signs and after-death communications don’t have an expiration date. There is no expiration date that prevents them from being by our side, cheering us on on our challenging path of life. It’s been 3 years for Karen. Marcus is still around, even giving gifts and teasing her the way he always had. But as time goes on, sometimes, they’re more silent than before.

One day, not feeling much of a presence from our departed loved one, we may wonder. Have they gone somewhere? As we get further from those darkest days of our loss, it seems they frequent us less and less. This is not to be confused with the thinking that they have actually left us alone, they are just not revealing themselves in our lives. At least, this is what Christian taught me after his passing.

At some point on our grief path, it will be time to bravely step forward. One step and then another, and so on. Of course, we have the pain of our loss and miss them desperately, as we are forced to step forward into an uncertain future without their physical presence. If we are to experience the depth of our feelings as a human, learn from our losses, deal with our emotions, evolve and heal from our deepest pain and have faith in a new future, this is all part of it. This is part of experiencing life and what it is to be human.

But… this is not to say they won’t pop in periodically, and put that big smile on our face, or even make us giddy, as Karen was with Marcus’ gift of dimes. This life is our school, with many tests. There will be times that we must be left to ourselves for the hardest, most growth promoting parts of our learning. Being tested on it, we become stronger and get to know ourselves in a deeper way than ever before. Through this process called life, we are allowed to develop ourselves in deeper ways than had we not had our tough challenges.

Yes, it’s really sad that our loved ones are gone (out of sight, that is), and of course, we could never forget them, but, at some point our loved ones make themselves scarce. Although this is incredibly difficult, we need to get back to some semblance of life if we are ever to move through our grief. This is so we can deal, learn, grow & develop and heal. But this is usually a long way into the grief process.

At the beginning, we so desperately need our loved one’s support and to be reassured. These signs and after-death communications go a long way toward that end, as well as, developing for ourselves the faith in an afterlife and the promise that we will see them again. 

I love Karen’s graceful and peaceful attitude. Although she is hopeful Marcus will manifest, she is understanding, humble and calm in the case that he doesn’t. Undeniably, she if confident in the strength of their spiritual bond together, and that something as simple as physical death (also a part of life), could never break it. Karen is faithful. Karen is peaceful.

We may have doubts at times. That’s a human thing. But just remember who your loved one was on Earth, trust in their love and caring. Have some faith in them and their continued loving presence in our lives. You will be much more peaceful for it.

Blessings for a peaceful healing journey.

We Are Always Connected

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Without our departed loved ones, we often feel alone. We often feel unheard. What if we are not only heard, but connected in ways that we could never be apart?

Many years ago, a few months after Christian died, I was outside crying again. It was unusually cold that day, even though it was summer. I was bundled up in a blanket while reading on the front porch. I liked sitting out there when the wind blew because the sound of the wind chimes I had placed around the porch, gave me a certain amount of comfort and peace… maybe like heaven was not so far away.

I remember thinking how cold it was. Although the weather that day was most unseasonable, it sort of matched the cold harsh dread of grief that I felt inside. When it finally got too cold for me, I went inside and started to work around the house. It wasn’t too long before I noticed that the house was particularly hot. Thinking to myself that I was not working that hard to experience that much heat, I noticed the heater was not only on, but up really high. The only thing is… that no one turned the thermostat to heat. It was previously set to air conditioner since it was summertime.

When I noticed this strange happening, and turned the heat off, I noticed that the fan was turned on as well. This does not ever happen. Christian must have heard my thoughts about being cold and tried to lighten my sad mood by letting me know he was around, doing what he could. Also, assuring that I would be warm.

Although it might seem implausible to some, I have found through the experience of others and that of my own, that our loved ones do, in fact, have a way of hearing our words and thoughts. It’s called perception through consciousness and it’s really very simple for them to be aware of us and our thoughts and feelings. Although it might seem not to be the case since their passing, we are always connected, but our physical senses so often deceive us.

If we try to understand the afterlife through the template of what we think we know about this world, we will never even begin to understand or know anything different than what we already do. When it comes to explaining things in the afterlife, I have often said that this life is like a cheap imitation to the world beyond. That place is limitless and abundant. If we don’t allow ourselves to be patiently open to the Spirit, the after-death communications of others and all spiritual things in nature, we just might miss a lot.

Sure, many times it’s easy to over-look something spiritual as a coincidence. Some people even think of a sign or after-death communication as one’s imagination. I’ve got good news for the imaginative. Just because you think you’ve imagined something, it doesn’t mean it didn’t actually happen. For the greater part, I’ve found that after-death communication’s main access occurs precisely through that sort of brain wonderment state.

Too often, our departed loved ones are the unseen force that mysteriously cause unexplainable things to happen that don’t get acknowledged enough. Christian had to somehow push both buttons in opposite directions to turn the heat on, so, as a sign, I would know he was with me.

I did believe that then. Today?

Willgard from Pixabay

Heaven – image Willgard/Pixabay

I don’t even bother to question anymore. I don’t believe in the afterlife. With the many, many after-death communications that I have received personally, I have a sure knowledge that there’s an afterlife. And now, with all my experience, as well as the experiences that others have sent my way, I don’t need wind chimes to feel close to heaven, my knowledge in the afterlife gives me more peace and comfort than I ever had before.

I also know our departed loved ones are aware enough to perceive our thoughts and feelings. They hear us. They love us, and do things for us, too. We never have to go on without them when they are with us all the time. We are always connected in some way we don’t always understand.

Many blessing for a New Year of peace, love, hope and healing!
Jade xo

Celebrity After-Death Communications

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Is it possible to experience an after-death communication from an adored deceased celebrity? Why not?

Picture of Singer, David Bowie

Picture of Singer, David Bowie

Liz writes:
“I was on the sofa on my laptop and Billy, my partner, was putting a towel in the laundry when we heard a noise of something falling in our sun-room. We looked in and found the big picture we have on the wall in there, which is a sketching of David Bowie, had fallen off the wall and slipped behind the chair it sits above. It’s held up by 4 of those heavy duty sticky hooks, and has a cord which sits on the hooks.”

“I have often thought that if the hooks fail, the picture would fall and smash on the floor, that’s why we put the extra support of a couple more hooks behind it. It’s a treasured picture I bought for Billy years ago, being a big Bowie fan for years.”

“Strangely, when if fell, it must have just dropped down and slipped behind the chair, so there was no damage. In the unlikely event of all hooks failing together, you’d imagine the picture to fall forward and break on the floor, but not one of the hooks had come unstuck. All 4 hooks were firmly stuck to the wall, meaning that the cord must have snapped or broken – but it hadn’t, it was fully intact! We hung it back up.”

“How could a picture that size and weight launch itself off the 4 hooks on it’s own when nothing had come unstuck or the cord broken?”

“I have a feeling we’ve had a visit from Stevie, Billy’s friend who passed after a brain hemorrhage 2 years ago on Christmas Eve. They’d been best mates since they were in their teens, and Stevie knew how much Billy loved David Bowie … unless we’ve had a visit from David himself!
LOL!”

Commentary- I would have chalked up this after-death communication as just another visit from deceased best friend, Stevie, who knew of Billy’s love for, also deceased singer, David Bowie. However, it was Liz’s afterthought that caught my attention. 

I’ve found that so many times, afterthoughts, even those that seem to be far-fetched or said in jest, are actually something to consider as subconscious material rising to the surface. And, more than often, I’ve found subconscious material to be a clue leading to previously untapped truth.

Liz laughs, but no joke, I’ve heard this happen before. I started hearing about this early on when GriefandMourning.com first began. Although I did hear out the people who wrote to tell me about their experiences with dead celebrities back then, I might have wondered about their imaginations or wishful thinking. You know, similar to the “I was Cleopatra in another life” sort of thing. But after hearing enough of these celebrity after-death visits, I realized that just like our deceased loved ones, for whom we care so much about, beloved celebrities also fall into the mix.

It was only after learning about 1990’s pop singer, Debbie Gibson’s experience with her beloved Liberace, and the mirrored piano of his that she bought, that I began to realize this was really a thing.

Debbie received a call to be a mystery guest on a show with a Psychic Medium and wondered who he was going to even contact, but agreed to be on the show. On the way out the door she heard something fall to the floor and noticed that it was one of the mirrored parts from the piano. For some reason, she put it in her purse. 

When she got to the studio, she and the medium couldn’t see each other, as their backs were to each other. She had never heard of this medium before. When he began his reading, he stopped mid sentence to say, “I’m getting something about a piano.” Then, “Surely, you couldn’t have brought a piano with you?” “Well, actually…” and she went on to tell him that she brought a sentimental piece of a piano with her. Immediately he named Liberace and that he had a message for her. Liberace wanted her to know that he is around her and was watching over her and the piano. After that, Debbie realized his continued presence.

As people in this life may develop a meaningful relationship and affinity for a celebrity of some sort, those artists do the same for their fans as a whole. Making people smile is what they have always known and are used to. Perhaps some of them are still trying to do that. 

Although I’ve never experienced a celebrity visitation, I do believe it to be possible. After all, dead celebrities are spirits too.

And maybe this classic “picture falling off the wall” was just an after-death communication from Stevie. Maybe it was David Bowie. But, even more amazing to think about is… maybe it was both! 

My gut tells me… it was probably both! Yeah, that feels right!

 

Processing Grief Through Writing

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In processing her grief over the loss of her husband, Rich, Kathy writes a book of their last and fateful trip to the Bahamas, as seen through the eyes of her cocker spaniel. 

Kathy writes:

Rich

Rich

“My husband, Rich, died 4 years ago while we were on a dream trip to the Bahamas on our Pearson 385 sailing vessel. It was to be the start of a great retirement, but our trip changed course and altered our lives forever. Rich became septic and a short 4 weeks later he was dead.”

“I had this idea in my head to write a book that chronicled our last and final trip down the west coast of Florida, the Keys, and the Bahamas. I had done a blog along the way and needed to add some more chapters and elaborate a bit on the contents. The results “CJ, BITTS, and a BOAT, An Adult Cruising Adventure.” It was published in March of 2019.”

 

CJ&Bitts Charlotte Harbor

CJ&Bitts Charlotte Harbor

“The book is written through the eyes and voice of CJ, my cocker spaniel. Bitts is her Shih Tzu sister, and of course the boat is our beloved Rikava, which was named by joining together parts of our names. The book is a dog story, a love story, and a travelogue that has humor, education, adventure, drama and tragedy.”

“First and foremost, I wanted the book to be a tribute to my wonderful Rich. Maybe I just wanted to immortalize him. I thought writing it would be cathartic, and in a way it was, but it certainly was hard to write the “Livin the Nightmare” chapter.”

 

“I truly felt like I was there on each and every entry of the blog, and it was all so very crystal clear, like it all happened just yesterday. The happy parts made me smile and the sad parts brought me right back to the reality of this nightmare. It made me shutter and wonder how I ever made it through it. Writing this showed me that I was stronger than I ever thought I was and yes, I made it through it. The Acknowledgements: gave me the opportunity to thank the multitude of family, friends, and strangers who helped me through the ordeal.”

“However, having stated all this, I never thought I would make it through the first two years of the grieving process either. I was such a mess. I swear I cried all day, each and every day. If it wasn’t for having to take care of my elderly Mom and autistic brother, I probably would not have gotten out of bed. God certainly knows what he is doing!”

“So, just like some of the rest of the grievers out there, I made it through the worst of times. I think of Rich when I wake up and before I go to bed at night. I don’t think that will ever change. However, now I do more smiling than crying, remembering his sweet soul and all the magical times we had and truly believing we will see each other again at the end of my time on Earth. And yes, I have emerged stronger than I ever thought possible.”

CJ

CJ

Commentary- I asked Kathy to share the healing process of writing her book, through the voice of her Cocker Spaniel, CJ, because I saw the tremendous value of articulating and processing grief in this very cathartic way.

In times of intense grief, the human brain is fixated in the one dimensional thinking of immediate pain, pain and more pain. It can think of nothing else. Shock and denial sets in as a form of natural anesthesia. This is the way our brain goes into survival mode in an attempt to numb us, and tamp down the full devastation of the emotional spectrum that surely will come.

With time, as we begin to process what happened and how our world has changed because of it, shock and denial fade as we begin to feel more of the full weight and consequence of our loss. And just like the feeling of anesthesia that has worn off, we begin to experience the raw pain as our new reality sets in. This is a normal part of our grief process.

In this dark unfamiliar place, we search for light. Being newly blinded, we struggle to understand what we can’t yet begin to comprehend. We try to find tools that will help us find our way out of the pit of despair in which we are now contained. We go through a confusing myriad of emotions that come, go and blend into one another. It repeats so often that we think we might not survive.

If you’ve experienced loss, all this may sound familiar, It’s a dark, lonely and devastating place. But one thing is for sure. While you are having all these thoughts and feelings, the good news is that you are on the road to begin to process them. This takes time and perspective. It also takes courage.

Writing is a deliberate way to work through the hard to face emotional blocks linked to difficult thoughts. Being able to articulate a grief process is a must, if one is to ever uncover what is actually thought and felt. Although verbal expression works too, writing is a more private option.

Using the medium of writing, through book or blog as Kathy did, is not only a great idea to face the truth of what happened, but does so in a immensely therapeutic way. This is why keeping a journal of thoughts and feelings are often recommended for the bereaved. Taking time to slow the thoughts and feelings down can be calming and peaceful. Of course it can be bittersweet, too.

Allowing CJ to tenderly tell much of the story was a brilliant way for Kathy to process her devastating loss from a multi-dimensional perspective. This is related to peripheral healing. Both she and CJ told their own story, but from different points of view. In doing so, she gave herself the opportunity to heal different layers on different levels. She told what she could tell as CJ and she told what she could tell as Kathy. 

Articulating thoughts by spoken or written word, can help to isolate the cause of particular emotions. Sometimes, it just important to know what your dealing with. Poetry is great for this and can really capture your painful world in a very deep, dramatic and creative way.

There are very good reasons for writing down your thoughts and feelings. It is possible to discover that certain painful thought-producing emotions are not even real. If you don’t consciously monitor your thoughts on a regular basis, you may have some false ones. For example. It might be something you unconsciously once heard and integrated, without any thought about it. Maybe you didn’t even know the thought was there.

When you really start to listen to your thoughts, you find they are very active. They say all sorts of things. Some things are true and some are not. Some are good and some are just plain, unfair. If you pay attention to them, you will become conscious of what is dictating your experience. Discovering your thoughts, speaking or writing about the pain of those thoughts can shed light into even the darkest of regions, thereby causing light and truth to be your healer. 

Rich

Rich

Although Kathy still misses Rich today, she has come a long way. Dealing with her loss in this profound way, she has done the hard work. She has fully processed her most painful experiences in a very creative way. Having been forged in the Refiner’s flame, she will never be the same. She is stronger and more valiant than ever before. And Rich smiles, as he muses at the absolute magnificence of the woman he still loves. 

You know what they say. “Life is short.” But… without as much as missing a beat, someday, Rich and Kathy will reunite. Their adventure will continue, doing what they love, together, they will sail the heavenly seas again with their furry friends. And this time, their voyage won’t be cut short.

For those interested in Kathy and CJ’s book adventure together, you can find it here- Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com, and BookVenture.com.

“It is a testament to the human capacity for resilience and survival, to create memories and honor those memories that have been created. It is a lovely memoir of one’s travels through life”.
-Reviewer from “The US Review of Books”.

All proceeds go toward animal welfare.

Our Angels Watch Over Us

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Cat experiences several after-death communications for a variety of reasons, but mainly to urgently warn of impending hereditary heart disease in the family.

Catherine writes:
“In 2017, my fiancee, Robert, died in my car in a tragic accident, after which I got several very clear after-death communications.” Continue reading →

Asking for a Sign

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As an answer to her request, departed Marcus makes his presence known to Karen on Valentine’s Day, when he shows up in a most unexpected way.

Karen writes:
“Lately, I have been really missing Marcus, and the signs he sometimes sends to reassure me that he is around. I have found myself looking for the typical signs he has sent in the past; like license plates, heart clouds, a feather, pennies, etc. But although I have been searching for them- I know that signs don’t always happen on demand.” Continue reading →

Thought Perception

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In this after-death communication, Ken receives help from his departed loved one, Jon, while making a batch of cookies.

Ken writes:
I have been feeling Jon near me lately. Funny thing is, I was getting out ingredients from a cabinet to bake cookies. I kept digging around for the brown sugar. I couldn’t remember if I used it all or put it somewhere else, so I decided to bake another kind. Continue reading →

A Promise to Heal

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While deep in grief over the loss of her beloved partner, Marcus, Karen receives a sign of hope in the form of a dream that shows her a brighter future. 

Karen writes:
“Many times, I just want to go to the spirit world because I miss my loved one so much. Of course, since I have two sons, I feel very guilty about even thinking this. I don’t have any suicidal tendencies or plans, but I will talk to God and say, “I am ready anytime” or… I simply relish in the fact that every day is a day closer to getting to go to heaven. I love my family and my life, but as you know, it is just that painful of a loss to lose a soulmate.” Continue reading →