Understanding Shared-Death Phenomena

Experiencing a spiritual phenomenon is amazing but can occur as jarring, as it calls the true nature of reality into question. Trust your spiritual senses.

Jay writes:
“It was January 1985. My mother, Ethel, was feeling very weak. She visited her doctor who said her heartbeat had become irregular and that she should be admitted to Maimonides Hospital in Brooklyn, New York, ASAP.”

“At the hospital, the doctor said that she needed a pacemaker. After receiving the pacemaker, she seemed well. They said they wanted to monitor her for a day or two before releasing her.”

“However, the second night she was in the hospital, I received a call from one of the doctors at about 3 AM, saying she had had a difficult night and was not doing well. They recommended that I come to the hospital immediately.”

“When I got to her room, one of the doctors said they almost lost her earlier but she was doing better. I went to her bedside. She was on a ventilator and seemed in distress. Because she was on a ventilator, she could not speak to me. She was in and out of consciousness but clearly upset when awake.”

“An alarm went off and the doctor and a nurse went to my mother’s bedside and began giving her CPR. As they worked on her, classical music played in the background. I do not recall a radio being in the room, but I recall thinking that the doctor must have put that music on to keep him relaxed while he was giving CPR.”

“As I stood there watching the scene of the doctor and nurse giving CPR to my mother, I saw a shadow slowly rise up from my mother’s body; a shadow that was clearly her. In the shadow, she was still in a hospital gown. Her face and body were quite clear. She appeared to look down at the scene of the doctor and nurse working on her body and me standing nearby. On her face, she had an expression of total shock and confusion, as if she was trying to understand what was happening.”

“After a while, the shadow seemed to return to her body. I assumed the doctor and nurse saw her image rise up as well, and would explain this phenomenon to me when they finished giving CPR.  However, they never said a word about it. If they did see it, they didn’t say, and I never asked about it. My mother died a few hours later.”

“I have been haunted by this experience my entire life. Was it my imagination?  What happened that night? What I witnessed seemed quite clear to me at the time. I was quite awake. It seemed more than real.”

“I think about this experience often, even to this day. I often search to see if others have had similar experiences. It is only because of the internet that I have learned about the concept of Shared Death Experiences. I believe that this experience was an SDE. I have never had another experience like this.”

Commentary- Shared-death experiences are not as well known as after-death communications, but they are happening with increasing frequency as this spiritual reality begins to permeate everyday consciousness. That is, in general, when we know a possibility exists, we are more open and available to experiencing it for ourselves. 

Although in Jay’s case, he was completely caught off guard as his brain struggled to make sense of the inexplicable at the time. Our brains take in a lot of information in each moment. Much of this information focuses on an estimation of navigating and surviving our environment in all areas of life, in the best way possible. It’s not that we are always conscious of this, but if you purposely tune into to even a small area of your life, you can see that your brain has some sort of a plan to succeed at its intended goals. 

A simple example of this would be to do something or be a certain way as to avoid pain or trouble. The human brain is always making calculations. Since the brain is so busy with every second of life, it screens out excess, irrelevant material. One’s brain may operate within a particular bandwidth, thereby eliminating what it considers NOT important to one’s immediate physical, emotional, mental survival and may discount the “on the fringes” spiritual aspect.

So, you can imagine the surprise when Jay experienced what he did. His thoughts, then focused on the very survival of his mother, most unexpectedly led him into the “spiritual fringes” as his mother’s life hung in the balance. He heard classical music playing as a background soundtrack as the doctor and nurse worked furiously to revive her. Surely there must have been a logical explanation for this. Jay’s brain was trying to make sense of this spiritual episode. Well, at least his logical left brain side was.

To top that off, Jay witnesses his mother’s spirit rising from her body. Seeing her expression clearly, it was most apparent that she, too, was struggling with the whole event. Between Jay and his mother, they were experiencing a similar form of denial; one of the brain and the other of the mind. These levels of consciousness can appear as the same until the spirit is further away from its physical body, at which point a greater consciousness takes over.

Interestingly, the vision of his mother was so obvious to Jay that he was sure the nurse and doctor could have seen it. The thing is, while they were busy focusing on the physical survival of Jay’s mother, he was able to catch a glimpse of her spirit.

I wrote about Shared-death experience many years ago, after I went to a lecture given by Psychiatrist, Dr. Raymond Moody. He recorded an enormous collection of people’s after-death communications. In all his writings, he would never settle on the validity of these after-death communications. But finally, after many years, he did finally come out, in that lecture, for the reality of these other-worldly experiences, as he bore his first-hand witness account of the shared-death experience he experienced with his mother’s passing. You can read this account at, Shared-Death Experience.

Jay talks about the haunting that comes from not understanding what happened or how it was even possible. While the left side of our brain often questions spiritual events as illogical, to the right brain, spiritual phenomena is especially logical and makes perfect sense. It’s that simple. Jay existed in that spiritual world for a time. He experienced what he experienced in the spiritual realm, before he was released back into the physical realm.

A common hallmark of Jay’s experience in the spiritual world is found in what Jay mentioned. He said his experience seemed more real than the reality of this life, or the reality of what we are used to. Spiritual experiences demonstrate that there is more to this physical reality than we know and the spiritual realm can seem considerably more real than the physical one. Since we dwell in this physical realm, it may not be our usual experience to constantly perceive our lives through a spiritual lens. Some will more than others. But, although we do at times, it’s an amazing thing when we witness a spiritual event. Jay was given something very special. Besides being physically present when his mother passed, he was spiritually present enough to witness it. For sure, Jay must be pleased to know his mother still exists beyond the body..

For those who believe in an afterlife, we know that at our core, we are spiritual beings, first, experiencing a physical experience. We know that spiritual experiences, however fleeting, they are real. However, having dwelled in the physical dimension for some time, we become accustomed to forgetting our original selves, while thinking that our physical senses rule.

But, being a multi-dimensional being in the physical realm, it’s important that we remember that we are actually both. 

4 thoughts on “Understanding Shared-Death Phenomena

  1. Crystal on said:

    Thank you Jay for sharing this experience, I think it’s amazing that you could be with your mother so deeply in this moment. And thank you Jade for your work. It amazing all the ways we are all connected beyond the physical realm.

    • Thanks Crystal. Shared-death experiences provide some good evidence that an afterlife exists.

  2. Since first hearing about shared death experiences I’ve found them fascinating. Just more evidence that there is so much more going on in this world than all that we have proven.
    Thanks for sharing your special experience.

  3. That is a very profound experience Jay, thanks for sharing. Nice commentary Jade.

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