I’m Closer Than Ever, Mom

In this post, Bridgette writes in to share a few of her after-death communications from her son, Benny Durell, who was murdered in a double homicide. You will see that Durell has neither lost his aliveness nor his ability to communicate in a special way with his mom.

Bridgette writes:
“Hi Jade , my name is Bridgette Booker. I’d like to share my after-death communication . I actually have several and a question about one I believe to be an adc as well, but this is one that I will share now.” Durell's arm in the photo

“My son was killed in a double homicide on Jan 26th, 2015. A couple of weeks after he was buried, I was sitting on my bed taking pictures of my dog. In every picture I took, there was a bright light in it. (I’m still kicking myself because I wasn’t thinking) I would take a picture and there would be a bright light, I would delete it, adjusted the settings, I turned flash on/off, etc. I even adjusted the lamp shade (as you’ll see in this pic). Then, I got up and went to other side of bed, took another picture and the same thing happened! I was aggravated! I threw my phone on bed and went to kitchen to get some iced tea. When I came back, I picked up the phone and took another pic and it was perfect!”
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Never Alone (Revisited)

Right now, I am in the process of making my yearly pilgrimage to Burning Man for the thirteenth year. It’s a place of sheer fun, that’s true. But it is much more. It is a place that teaches me so much… and a place I love because of it.

Lately, I have felt called to pull this 2012 post out of this site’s archives for some reason, to re-post. When I wrote it after Burning Man in 2012, I was still grieving deeply at the time.

So… for whatever reason, I leave this with you. I hope this is meaningful to you in some way, as well.  

With a full heart and exhausted body, I recently returned home from my ten-year anniversary trip to the Black Rock desert, where over 60,000 plus people from all over the world made their pilgrimage this year to be “welcomed home” to Black Rock City. Grateful was I because of the love, beauty and transformation I experienced there. Exhausted, because I didn’t want to close my eyes for one second, for fear I might have missed something completely amazing.
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“See How You Are?”

Many years ago, my dear friend Kevin used to say to me… in a non-judgmental way, of course, “See how you are?” I think Kevin was trying to point out how I was being at the time, as well as trying to get me to be present long enough to see from a new perspective. Of course, it could have been something he said to everyone. Though it was probably that I was being annoying in some way at the time and he wanted me to notice so I could do something different. But, it did cause me to pause long enough to see how I was being in the moment; thus, creating some new awareness.

Since Kevin’s sudden passing, close to 30 years ago, Kevin’s Journey to the Light, I have always remembered that saying. He was the only person I ever heard say it. I liked it so much I started saying it as well, causing others to pause while looking at themselves too. Of course, it is always possible that they didn’t… but instead… just wondered about me or the question itself. That’s good too, even that may have created a new perspective and more awareness in the world.
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Changing Your Story…

“Those who do not have power over the story that dominates their lives, the power to retell it, rethink it, deconstruct it, joke about it, and change it as times change, truly are powerless, because they cannot think new thoughts.” – Salman Rushdie

If you are tired of telling the same old disempowering story about your life and want to tell a different tale, you have to be willing to change your interpretation of it. It’s as simple as changing your mind… and the results can be just as amazing. Are you game?

The Dash That IS Your Life

I once heard someone say that the dash between the date you were born and the date of your death IS your life. Looking at it from this perspective reveals a few things. For one, the dash is brief. Life may seem long when you are young, but the older you get, the faster it goes… and the more you understand how short it really is… and precious too.

Another thing – there is no information about the dash. It’s just a dash. However long we have inside this dash and what we do with it… is up to us. What will we do with the area between our birth and death that is our life?

Because lastly, when one has passed and the physical body is gone, the whole life of that person is distilled down to our memories of them. You see, the last physical evidence that we once existed IS what we leave in our place. It is the family with our DNA, the people we loved, knew and affected, our beloved pets, the things we owned, the photos we were captured in, the mark we made on the world, a grave marker with the date we were born, the date that we died and a dash in between… AND… hopefully some kind words to sum up how we and our whole life are remembered. This is what your dash is all about.

You see, being remembered is just that. Being RE-MEMBERED. Or in other words… being reconstituted in someone’s memory of you – who you were, how you lived your life and what you contributed to the world in which you lived. This is your legacy.

How will you be remembered? What will be said about your life? Did you make the world a better place in your stead?

It’s up to YOU! It’s your dash!

Something to think about.

In Loving Memory

Note: For a preview of how your final dash might be re-membered, see The Exit Interview


The Beauty of Brain Patterns

In my last post, Running With The Bulls, I mentioned how a once alive, beautiful 3D experience, given time, eventually integrates and turns into nothing more than a mere memory of something we already know. For example, the birth of a newborn baby. When my first baby was born, I had to take a million pictures of this amazing little, pink creature. My husband and I captured every possible expression that that kid made! We were so enthralled with the creation of our little miracle, that suddenly existed.

Then… there was the second child. Not that we loved her any less, but, you see… we already knew what a miracle looked like. Still… we took a lot of pictures of this adorable little one, but we didn’t quite capture every expression, like we did with the first one! You see, we had already started to become accustomed to the idea of this type of miracle, for we had experienced it once before. And… because of this… we didn’t need to be so present and amazed anymore.

When I thought about how an actual, real live 3D miracle was destined to become part of a person’s brain pattern, this used to really bother me. “How sad.” I’d think. “Why were we created this way? Where is the wisdom in this? Why can’t we be present to such miraculousness all of the time?”
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Running With the Bulls

On a recent trip to my dentist, Dr. Clint told me about an experience he had, just a few weeks earlier.

Having been on the “bucket list” of one of Dr. Clint’s old High School friends, his buddy suggested that he, Dr. Clint and another High School friend go on an adventure to Spain.

photo credit: sfgate.com

photo credit: sfgate.com

So now, in their mid 40’s, Dr. Clint and two old best friends took the plunge, when they flew out to Spain in July to go “Running with the bulls!”

All dressed in the appropriate “bull-running” attire, Dr. Clint and his two friends waited on the narrow street for the bulls to catch up to them, so they could have the harrowing experience of running along side of these ferocious beasts… that is… if they didn’t get maimed by one or more!


photo credit: finance.yahoo.com

Although the whole run, with over 100 participants and 12 bulls, lasted only 4 minutes, Dr. Clint said it was the most terrifying, but best 4 minutes of his life! By the time they ran down the narrow street that corralled them into an arena, Dr. Clint and his friends thought they were finally “out of the woods”… or “streets”, should I say, and wanted to hop the fence to leave, but both police and Spaniards alike, shoed any participants wanting to get out, off the fence, and back into the arena!

That wouldn’t have been so bad, I guess, except the bulls had also been let into the arena too, and as one of Dr. Clint’s friends glanced over, he found the eyes of a bull locked upon him. Having had enough, at this point, Dr. Clint started to panic and hopped the fence anyway, while his two other friends took their chances in the arena with the bulls for a little while longer.
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The Lens of Awareness

Last weekend, my friend shared with me a story from his past. As I thought about it later that day, I realized his story had some important insights to distinguish about awareness.

Back in the eastern states, where heating oil is routinely delivered to homes for winter warmth, the driver of an oil truck accidentally hit a dog in the street one day. You see, the dog ran through the same routine every time. The dog would run behind the truck, then, when the driver stopped the truck to make his delivery, the dog would run around to the front of the truck. The driver, who knew this dog’s routine of running to the front of the truck, would then, drive slowly and carefully away, in order to avoid the dog. My friend, who I will call Sam, wondered back then, how the driver, who always drove the same route, could have possibly hit the dog. “Wasn’t he paying attention?” Continue reading

One Millimeter Off

Yesterday, my son, Chris, had me watch this video with Tony Robbins. I loved it and wanted to share it with you. It is a powerful perspective! Thanks Chris!

As you watch it, you will see that many, if not all life’s successes are not huge unreachable distances from us, but instead… are only one millimeter away. Realizing this, and coming from this perspective begins to make life more manageable. If we could change something we are doing in a very small way, even though it seems small and insignificant at first, the final trajectory this slight change brings, could make a tremendous difference in our life and in the lives of others.

Have a wonderful day today!

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YouTube DirektOne Millimeter Off

Choosing Love

choosing loveChoosing love doesn’t mean we won’t ever be hurt, disappointed or angry with someone. To ignore our feelings in the face of an upset would be inauthentic, since feelings are a natural part of being human. Choosing love only means that after we have fully acknowledged and experienced our feelings, that we allow the painful emotional energy to move quickly through us. This completion process is what makes healing possible, so we can get back to the business of experiencing our feelings of love again.

Choosing love doesn’t mean we have to share the same beliefs and values as another. It doesn’t mean we have to agree or have the same opinion either. In a world with so much diversity as ours, how could we all see things from exactly the same point of view?
Choosing love only means that we allow another to have his or her perspective, as well.

Choosing love doesn’t mean we have to like the choices people make or actions that they take. Many times we won’t. But, who are we to think someone should live his or her life according to all our expectations anyway? Choosing love only means that we still love them, even if we don’t approve.

Choosing love doesn’t mean you have to forget that someone hurt or violated you or someone you love, although you probably wish you could. Choosing love just means that to heal, forgiveness may be in order… not just for them, but especially for yourself; so you can find peace.
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Overcoming Fear- Facing Inner Demons

InnerDemonsThey’re Ba-ack! I thought I’d already sent them packing once and for all, but apparently they didn’t listen very well. One thing is for sure; they expect you to listen perfectly to them! That’s why they come to catch you in a weak moment… and cornering you within the confines of your own head, relentlessly recite your past mistakes to you; like you somehow weren’t already aware of them! They tell you why you should or shouldn’t have done what you did, followed by a judgment… or five about it! You know, those errors you made in the past when you were young and less experienced. Or… even just yesterday, when you were unaware and didn’t consider every other possible choice than the one you did, and because you didn’t, this left you in a bad spot.

Maybe you’ve noticed them before… those critical voices in your head, that, like the mob coming to extort, yet, another payment from you, badger you, sometimes in a soft and subtle way, and sometimes in a loud and abrupt one. But either way, it all ends the same… they want you to pay for something. Even if you have already paid before, they forget… or don’t care… and come back for more! Their favorite currency is in the form of your guilt, shame and regret. So, unless you are blissfully unaware, conscience-less and don’t care, or have already learned the secret to making them stop, then… welcome to this awesome human experience!

Throughout time, these disparaging voices have been referred to as, “the critical parent”, “the judge and jury”, “the committee”, or “inner demons”, just to name a few. And because they can be so damn mean, leave some convinced that these “mental tormentors” are really “outer demons”… as who would really do this to oneself?
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Lessons From the Geese

… a message about working together.

As each bird flaps it’s wings, it creates an uplift for others behind him. There is 71% more flying range in V-formation than flying alone.
Lesson: People who share a common direction and sense of common purpose can get there quicker.

Whenever a goose flies out of formation, it quickly feels the drag and tries to get back in position.
Lesson: It’s harder to do something alone than together.

When the lead goose gets tired, it rotates back into the formation and another goose flies at the head.
Lesson: Shared leadership and interdependence give us each a chance to lead as well as opportunities to rest.

The geese in formation honk from behind to encourage those in front to keep up their speed.
Lesson: We need to make sure our honking is encouraging and not discouraging.

When a goose gets sick or wounded and falls, two geese fall out and stay with it until it revives or dies. Then, they catch up or join another flock.
Lesson: Stand by your people in difficult times, as well as in good.

(Lessons from the Geese, was written in 1972 by Dr. Robert McNeish of Baltimore. Dr. McNeish, for many years a science teacher before he became involved in school administration, had been intrigued with observing geese for years and first wrote the piece for a sermon he delivered in his church.)

If we could all work together… just think about how much we could do, and how far we could go. The sky’s the limit when we’re united in cooperation!