If I Never Carve a Pumpkin

Facing the upcoming holidays without Brian, who passed one year ago, Valley writes a tender poem for her beloved son.

Love, Mom

If I never carve a pumpkin
or trim a Christmas tree,
It won’t make me miss you less,
You’ll still not come back to me.

When I listen to Holiday music
And feel grief replaced with joy,
I fear I rob my memories
of you, my little boy.

But my fears are only that
because your spirit’s here with me.
Your imprint on my life
safe in every memory.

BrianSo I’ll honor our traditions
of which you’re still apart.
I’ll be your memory keeper.
Forever in my heart.

To read more about Brian, see the post, Don’t Worry Mama

Portals of Possibility

When Kristen opens herself to a new romantic relationship, the power of possibility is everywhere! Discover the true magic behind opening the portals of possibility.

Kristen, literally riding off into the wild blue yonder on a tram at Snowbird, Utah, like 3 years ago. When I took this snapshot, who knew it was for this post?

“Whee!!! Keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times!”, Kristen laughs. And with “out of this world” excitement, she attempts to describe the ride she is currently a passenger on inside her new love affair. It’s a ride that’s whisking her off into the realm of the wild blue yonder.

Trying to further capture the exhilaration of her mental state, Kristen uses another analogy, “I don’t know how this is going to play out, but I’m on the river with my hands in the air, not fighting the direction of its flow!” And flowing she goes.

Smiling as I notice her obvious euphoria, and as if choosing an entree from a cosmic menu, I say to myself, “I’ll have some of what she’s having, please!”

As I thought about her state of mind, I couldn’t help but wonder what was creating this wondrous condition. It was as though she was high on something, but what was it? Continue reading

I’m Closer Than Ever, Mom

In this post, Bridgette writes in to share a few of her after-death communications from her son, Benny Durell, who was murdered in a double homicide. You will see that Durell has neither lost his aliveness nor his ability to communicate in a special way with his mom.

Bridgette writes:
“Hi Jade , my name is Bridgette Booker. I’d like to share my after-death communication . I actually have several and a question about one I believe to be an adc as well, but this is one that I will share now.” Durell's arm in the photo

“My son was killed in a double homicide on Jan 26th, 2015. A couple of weeks after he was buried, I was sitting on my bed taking pictures of my dog. In every picture I took, there was a bright light in it. (I’m still kicking myself because I wasn’t thinking) I would take a picture and there would be a bright light, I would delete it, adjusted the settings, I turned flash on/off, etc. I even adjusted the lamp shade (as you’ll see in this pic). Then, I got up and went to other side of bed, took another picture and the same thing happened! I was aggravated! I threw my phone on bed and went to kitchen to get some iced tea. When I came back, I picked up the phone and took another pic and it was perfect!”
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Never Alone (Revisited)

Right now, I am in the process of making my yearly pilgrimage to Burning Man for the thirteenth year. It’s a place of sheer fun, that’s true. But it is much more. It is a place that teaches me so much… and a place I love because of it.

Lately, I have felt called to pull this 2012 post out of this site’s archives for some reason, to re-post. When I wrote it after Burning Man in 2012, I was still grieving deeply at the time.

So… for whatever reason, I leave this with you. I hope this is meaningful to you in some way, as well.  

With a full heart and exhausted body, I recently returned home from my ten-year anniversary trip to the Black Rock desert, where over 60,000 plus people from all over the world made their pilgrimage this year to be “welcomed home” to Black Rock City. Grateful was I because of the love, beauty and transformation I experienced there. Exhausted, because I didn’t want to close my eyes for one second, for fear I might have missed something completely amazing.
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“See How You Are?”

Many years ago, my dear friend Kevin used to say to me… in a non-judgmental way, of course, “See how you are?” I think Kevin was trying to point out how I was being at the time, as well as trying to get me to be present long enough to see from a new perspective. Of course, it could have been something he said to everyone. Though it was probably that I was being annoying in some way at the time and he wanted me to notice so I could do something different. But, it did cause me to pause long enough to see how I was being in the moment; thus, creating some new awareness.

Since Kevin’s sudden passing, close to 30 years ago, Kevin’s Journey to the Light, I have always remembered that saying. He was the only person I ever heard say it. I liked it so much I started saying it as well, causing others to pause while looking at themselves too. Of course, it is always possible that they didn’t… but instead… just wondered about me or the question itself. That’s good too, even that may have created a new perspective and more awareness in the world.
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Changing Your Story…

“Those who do not have power over the story that dominates their lives, the power to retell it, rethink it, deconstruct it, joke about it, and change it as times change, truly are powerless, because they cannot think new thoughts.” – Salman Rushdie

If you are tired of telling the same old disempowering story about your life and want to tell a different tale, you have to be willing to change your interpretation of it. It’s as simple as changing your mind… and the results can be just as amazing. Are you game?

The Dash That IS Your Life

I once heard someone say that the dash between the date you were born and the date of your death IS your life. Looking at it from this perspective reveals a few things. For one, the dash is brief. Life may seem long when you are young, but the older you get, the faster it goes… and the more you understand how short it really is… and precious too.

Another thing – there is no information about the dash. It’s just a dash. However long we have inside this dash and what we do with it… is up to us. What will we do with the area between our birth and death that is our life?

Because lastly, when one has passed and the physical body is gone, the whole life of that person is distilled down to our memories of them. You see, the last physical evidence that we once existed IS what we leave in our place. It is the family with our DNA, the people we loved, knew and affected, our beloved pets, the things we owned, the photos we were captured in, the mark we made on the world, a grave marker with the date we were born, the date that we died and a dash in between… AND… hopefully some kind words to sum up how we and our whole life are remembered. This is what your dash is all about.

You see, being remembered is just that. Being RE-MEMBERED. Or in other words… being reconstituted in someone’s memory of you – who you were, how you lived your life and what you contributed to the world in which you lived. This is your legacy.

How will you be remembered? What will be said about your life? Did you make the world a better place in your stead?

It’s up to YOU! It’s your dash!

Something to think about.

In Loving Memory

Note: For a preview of how your final dash might be re-membered, see The Exit Interview


The Beauty of Brain Patterns

In my last post, Running With The Bulls, I mentioned how a once alive, beautiful 3D experience, given time, eventually integrates and turns into nothing more than a mere memory of something we already know. For example, the birth of a newborn baby. When my first baby was born, I had to take a million pictures of this amazing little, pink creature. My husband and I captured every possible expression that that kid made! We were so enthralled with the creation of our little miracle, that suddenly existed.

Then… there was the second child. Not that we loved her any less, but, you see… we already knew what a miracle looked like. Still… we took a lot of pictures of this adorable little one, but we didn’t quite capture every expression, like we did with the first one! You see, we had already started to become accustomed to the idea of this type of miracle, for we had experienced it once before. And… because of this… we didn’t need to be so present and amazed anymore.

When I thought about how an actual, real live 3D miracle was destined to become part of a person’s brain pattern, this used to really bother me. “How sad.” I’d think. “Why were we created this way? Where is the wisdom in this? Why can’t we be present to such miraculousness all of the time?”
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Running With the Bulls

On a recent trip to my dentist, Dr. Clint told me about an experience he had, just a few weeks earlier.

Having been on the “bucket list” of one of Dr. Clint’s old High School friends, his buddy suggested that he, Dr. Clint and another High School friend go on an adventure to Spain.

photo credit: sfgate.com

photo credit: sfgate.com

So now, in their mid 40’s, Dr. Clint and two old best friends took the plunge, when they flew out to Spain in July to go “Running with the bulls!”

All dressed in the appropriate “bull-running” attire, Dr. Clint and his two friends waited on the narrow street for the bulls to catch up to them, so they could have the harrowing experience of running along side of these ferocious beasts… that is… if they didn’t get maimed by one or more!


photo credit: finance.yahoo.com

Although the whole run, with over 100 participants and 12 bulls, lasted only 4 minutes, Dr. Clint said it was the most terrifying, but best 4 minutes of his life! By the time they ran down the narrow street that corralled them into an arena, Dr. Clint and his friends thought they were finally “out of the woods”… or “streets”, should I say, and wanted to hop the fence to leave, but both police and Spaniards alike, shoed any participants wanting to get out, off the fence, and back into the arena!

That wouldn’t have been so bad, I guess, except the bulls had also been let into the arena too, and as one of Dr. Clint’s friends glanced over, he found the eyes of a bull locked upon him. Having had enough, at this point, Dr. Clint started to panic and hopped the fence anyway, while his two other friends took their chances in the arena with the bulls for a little while longer.
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The Lens of Awareness

Last weekend, my friend shared with me a story from his past. As I thought about it later that day, I realized his story had some important insights to distinguish about awareness.

Back in the eastern states, where heating oil is routinely delivered to homes for winter warmth, the driver of an oil truck accidentally hit a dog in the street one day. You see, the dog ran through the same routine every time. The dog would run behind the truck, then, when the driver stopped the truck to make his delivery, the dog would run around to the front of the truck. The driver, who knew this dog’s routine of running to the front of the truck, would then, drive slowly and carefully away, in order to avoid the dog. My friend, who I will call Sam, wondered back then, how the driver, who always drove the same route, could have possibly hit the dog. “Wasn’t he paying attention?” Continue reading

One Millimeter Off

Yesterday, my son, Chris, had me watch this video with Tony Robbins. I loved it and wanted to share it with you. It is a powerful perspective! Thanks Chris!

As you watch it, you will see that many, if not all life’s successes are not huge unreachable distances from us, but instead… are only one millimeter away. Realizing this, and coming from this perspective begins to make life more manageable. If we could change something we are doing in a very small way, even though it seems small and insignificant at first, the final trajectory this slight change brings, could make a tremendous difference in our life and in the lives of others.

Have a wonderful day today!

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YouTube DirektOne Millimeter Off

Higher-Self Communication

There are times in our lives when we want or need to talk to a particular person in order to complete something of importance, BUT, actually doing so… may seem too difficult for us, if even impossible. Reasons for this lack of communication may include:

  • Not knowing the person well enough, so approaching them could be awkward or even embarrassing.
  • We speak different languages.
  • We’ve lost contact, with no way of locating them.
  • This person may live too far away, and maybe, even so far away that they are no longer on this planet.
  • The person we want or need to speak to isn’t in a good position to be contacted by us, or… if we did contact them, perhaps they would refuse to speak to us, or hear our message.
  • Or maybe… it is even our own pride that prevents us from speaking with them.

But, it’s possible that this is the most difficult one of all…

  • It could be that the issues between the two are so sticky, that every attempt to sort things through leaves those involved with an attitude of defensiveness and frustration, causing both to walk away while throwing their arms up in the air in sheer resignation!

You may have experienced this before. Completely discouraged by the many attempts to communicate, but to no avail, and now… you’ve finally given up the thought and hope that this issue between the two of you, could ever be rectified.

But… whatever the circumstances are, it ends the same; you are left with the sense of the incompletion that continually hangs over your head, just begging to be resolved and put to rest.

More than likely, what you really wanted or needed to tell this person was something that you never got a chance to say; for example: to give an apology, to ask or accept forgiveness, to straighten something out, to make a request or to give them your love and/or blessings? Or maybe, you just wanted to be heard and were uncertain that you ever were in the past.
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