Healings From Our Departed

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While Melisa is sick and scared and unsure of what to do, Grandma mysteriously appears and miraculously heals her ailments.

Melisa writes:
“I am trying to make sense of an experience that I had several months ago and am not able to find any similar experiences online and am interested in trying to find out if others have seen the same thing as I have.”

“One night I felt feverish with chills, so I went into my closet and put on a robe that used to be my grandmother’s robe that she gave to me. I went back to bed but was unable to sleep. I began to feel more ill and was so scared that I might die because my heart was beating so fast and I was silently crying. I was on the verge of waking my husband who was sleeping next to me and ask him to take me to the ER.”

“It was right at this point that I saw my grandmother hovering over the foot of my bed in a white flowing gown looking down at me. I then saw a large black shadow appear over my body and I felt it push down on my shoulders. Then suddenly, I was no longer ill or scared and felt completely calm. I then saw a bright light in my left peripheral vision. I looked to the left where there was a golden glowing hummingbird sitting on my husband’s pillow. The golden glow of this mesmerizing hummingbird was so intense that I stared at it for what seemed like several minutes. When I turned my head back to see my grandmother, she was gone and when I looked back to see the hummingbird, it was gone as well.”

“I have only told a select few about my experience because when I mentioned it to a colleague of mine, she told me that I was hallucinating because I must have had a high fever. However, I know that it was real and the few people that I have told, it was to give them hope that we really do live on.”

“I am most interested in finding out if others have seen a similar hummingbird or a shadow that healed them. Thank you for any guidance you can offer.”

Commentary- Because of their special nature, spiritual experiences can sometimes be difficult to make sense of. With this one, there are a few different things going on.

Suffering with worsening chills and fever, Melisa is sick and getting sicker. She even gets to the point of being afraid for her life. She is wide awake, crying and in need of help. At this point, things are so serious, Melisa is even wondering whether she should wake her husband to rush her to the E.R.

Suddenly, as she is snuggly wrapped like a hug in Grandma’s robe, it is no coincidence that Grandma appears at the foot of her bed. She is dressed in a white flowing gown which is typical of how a Guardian Angel may appear, signifying purity. (My hunch is that Grandma is a Guardian Angel to Melisa, watching over her in her times of need. This time was an emergency.)

You’ll notice that Grandma is very much aware of Melisa’s serious condition. Grandma knows that Melisa can see her, and witness the remarkable healing that is taking place that would end in nothing short of miraculous. Melisa was meant to experience this spiritual experience as authentic, as well as who was behind it. Grandma wanted Melisa to know this and all it implies about the amazing possibilities in the spiritual realms.

Although the black shadow could represent something dark, it could also represent something unknown or obscured from one’s view, that drew out Melisa’s sickness from her under Grandma’s watch. Melisa was left calm and well from the experience. There was no fear or illness left behind. Melisa was completely healed from her ordeal. This tells me that this method of healing was a matter of light.

As a spiritual signature left for Melisa from Grandma, a cute glowing golden hummingbird appears in which to mesmerize Melisa. However, if she didn’t before believe in an afterlife, Melisa sure had the proof to believe it now.

Not everyone is going to believe an experience like this without seeing it for oneself. And then… there are those who still doubt the reality of it even though the result was miraculous. It was easy for a co-worker to dismiss this sacred experience as a fever induced hallucination. It’s the physical brain’s first logical conclusion. But, just because you were feverish, it does not necessarily mean you were hallucinating. And what if you were? You can still see spiritual things that are real during hallucinations… maybe even better! And even without a fever, people commonly experience spiritual things they can’t explain. It’s called spiritual vision. It happens.

Hummingbird (Pixabay) Oberhol Ster Venita

About the significance of the hummingbird as after-death communications. Hummingbirds in all forms are a common after-death communication from loved ones who have passed away. They are winged ones who have a high vibrational frequency. Many believe a visit from a hummingbird is a message from a heavenly source, one of healing, hope, peace and comfort that everything will be fine. The glow of the hummingbird seems to double down that this is an extra spiritual experience. The golden glowing hummingbird was Melisa’s grandmother’s calling card as if to say, “Heaven is really amazing… even miraculous beyond all your dreams!”

A Hologram Spirit Visitation? Is That a Thing?

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While Kim peacefully slumbers, her departed husband, Terry, materializes as he literally watches over her while she sleeps.

Kim Writes:
“I read your latest post about ‘The Twilight Bridge.‘ You have no idea how timely this was for me. My experience with seeing Terry, happened just before dawn. I wake up several times nightly, look at the clock, sometimes watch the TV that I usually leave on now for “company” in hopes of keeping my mind occupied, so as not to dwell on my grief.”

“Recently, when I was still asleep, I was lying on my left side when I became aware of a big, blurry object hovering over my head, kind of kitty corner to the right of my face. It was about 12-13 inches away from my face. Still in dream state with my eyes closed, I kept trying to figure out what that “blurry thing” was. It looked like a huge head looking down over me. I kept looking at it when I suddenly realized it looked like my departed husband, Terry’s face!”

“His head looked to be about 12-14 inches wide, at least, and equally as tall. His eyes were closed due to his being over my head and looking downward at me or maybe because his head was hovering above mine and his eyes were looking downward. I kept wishing he would open his eyes to be more recognizable. I just wanted to look into his eyes.”

“His features were not very defined… but somehow I just knew it was Terry. The blurry shape was defined just enough for me to recognize his head shape and vague features. But why on earth was it just his head and why was it so HUGE?”

“It’s so hard for me to describe exactly how he looked, especially because his head was so big and blurry! Nothing else was around him, he did not even have a neck. Reminded me of that gigantic, round head only… projection (sort of a hologram) of The Wizard…from the old original movie, “The Wizard of Oz.”

“He said nothing. In all my after-death communications of him, I have NEVER heard him speak and usually have never had him actually look at me. But I vividly remember, that the moment I thought I recognized that it was indeed, him, my entire body started tingling wildly! I was so happy, I started crying and woke myself up calling out his name.”

“Having had after-death communications of him before and having this interesting reaction, I have come to realize that when I feel this tingling sensation, it IS TERRY verifying the after-death communication, along with his presence. That comforts me beyond belief, but also makes me cry uncontrollably… because I’m so lonesome for him. This coming May 8th he will have been gone for 1 year. It seems like forever… I’m still crying every day. All I have to do is think of Terry and the tears gush.”

“I’ve been wanting to ask, why doesn’t he talk to me?”

Commentary- It was in the mid 1800’s that British Scientist, John Henry Pepper, invented a 2D illusion technique that became very popular and was used for entertainment purposes. In plays, apparitions would materialize on stage with the actor, then would dematerialize, leaving the audience mystified by how this was possible.

The technique required a large glass screen, set at an angle to catch the reflection from a brightly lit actor in an area that was not seen by the audience. The reflection of the glass screen looked eerily like a ghost.

Today, you will recognize this technology if you have ever been to The Haunted Mansion at Disneyland, where the funny looking ghosts appear to ride in the car with you as you pass by a mirror. Also, this same technique has been used in the theater, cinema, amusement parks, tv and concerts.

Hologram: Pixabay

A Hologram is a little different from Pepper’s Ghost, as it is 3 dimensional light field. Hologram means “whole picture.” Hungarian-British physicist, Dennis Gabor was awarded Nobel Prize in Physics in 1971 for his development of the holographic method. Similar to a sound recording, the hologram is a photographic recording of a light field which uses diffraction to reproduce a 3D light field, rather than an image formed by a lens.

Today, Holograms, like the one in the Wizard of Oz that Kim chuckled about, are used as technology in Military Mapping, Information Storage, Medical Training, Fraud and Security and Holographic Art. A deceased musical artist may now attend their own concert in which they perform. And now, we understand even more about this technology and how it is rapidly expanding. It’s all so very amazing!

But, here’s the thing. There was not a group of artists, scientists or holographic technicians in Kim’s bedroom projecting a big-headed Terry, while she slept and experienced a real time occurrence at ‘The Twilight Bridge’ that morning. With the exception of Terry’s head, she was alone when that happened.

Although we don’t always understand the amazing “effects” in which a spirit, for example, can greatly astonish us with materializing or dematerializing, it still happens without our knowledge. And, although we don’t always understand the mechanics through which our departed loved ones send us signs, communicate with us or even touch us, I’m here to tell you that we are smart and advanced in our technology, but… we are mere novices compared to those in the Heavenly realms.

So yes, Kim. It really might have been some sort of heavenly hologram. That might even explain the distortion in size. In Star Wars, Princess Leia appeared unusually small (doll-like) during one of her transmissions to Luke Skywalker, if you remember? So, is a spirit hologram really a thing? Sure, why not? It’s a thing here, why not there? A hologram might help to explain what happened. In other words, anything we can do here, the Heavenly realm can do much better.

As I explained in ‘The Twilight Bridge,’ just because your eyes are not open when you have these spiritual experiences, please do not think that you are not seeing what you really are seeing… and actually in a much more real and clear way. One of the greatest spiritual practices is to learn to see with your eyelids closed. Your spiritual eyes are very adapt to seeing what’s actually there, you just have to practice. We have just been trained to value our physical sight a whole lot more.

Kim writes that she “became aware of” a big blurry object hovering over her head. To me, “Becoming aware” of something is an indication of a relaxed brain at the time. A relaxed brain is an access for something extraordinary to happen that is beyond the physical senses of this world. This is what happened to Kim that morning. Her brain was so relaxed that she didn’t freak out about the unidentifiable big head watching over her. After wondering about it for a while in her relaxed state, her brain eventually went back to being its’ vigilant, 5-sense self as it fully awakened once again to face another day… and in doing so, the vision and visitation dematerialized into thin air.

In writing this, and also being a Hypnotherapist, I just re-realized why the state of mind experienced at ‘The Twilight Bridge’ is so important in accessing spiritual information. Normally, during daily life, the brain is alert and focused on the tasks at hand. Maybe it is involved in grieving if that is what you are going through at the time, but my point is, the brain is not relaxed enough to allow a higher level of information in. I’m referring to spiritual information. The bandwidth of the brain is considerably more focused on the physical aspects of survival than that of the spiritual realms of fascination. This is why I suggest that when you are experiencing some spiritual phenomena at ‘The Twilight Bridge’ or any other place where you are engaging spiritually, that you linger longer without having to have an explanation. Take it all in. Stay relaxed and enjoy the mystery, the brilliance, the astonishment and the wonder of it all. When you awaken, write down as much as you remember while it is still fresh. You will be able to figure out some semblance of the experience then.

Kim wonders why Terry never says anything. It is possible that Terry is still communicating without moving his mouth? His communications say, “I am here.” “I am watching over you.” “I am guiding you from beyond.” “And, Yes, Kim, this is me by your side.” Could his words say more than his actions?

It is possible that Terry sees Kim, even if his eyes are not fixed on her. Obviously, he knows where she is. Perhaps he’s more of a non-confrontative type of spirit. Perhaps sharing his consistent, quiet and gentle soul with her is more of what she needs to feel comforted and heal.

Sometimes they appear… talk to us, look at us, touch us and sometimes they don’t. It is possible that it is not intended that we are to know they are here with us, but we see them anyway. These are the astonishing things that mystify us and we will eventually understand how it all works that we/they can somehow communicate between two worlds. Also… at the same time, although we imagine that we are apart for now, we might try to understand that thinking we could ever be separate is but an illusion. Our departed loved ones are always with us. Even if we can’t grasp it now. They are here. When you actually get this truth as an experience, those two worlds will become as one.

Image by deselect: Pixabay

(Information about history of Pepper’s Ghost and Holography- Credit:Wikipedia)

The Twilight Bridge

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After her mother’s recent passing, a sorrowful Jan, is repeatedly visited by her mother on the Twilight Bridge.

Jan writes:
“It is difficult to find anywhere to ask this question and it has bothered me since my Mom passed away a year ago. I had been living with mom for about 8 years and helping her to live in her home. She was 99 years old and fell while I was with her and did not recover. So, I do feel guilt, but everyone tells me it is not my fault.”

“After she passed (I live in her home), I was half-asleep. She came into the bedroom. I saw her in my mind, very clear. My eyes were closed and I wanted to wake up but my body felt frozen. I saw her distinctly for about 3 seconds and immediately woke up.”

“The next month, I was still very upset when a similar thing happened. I was half-asleep and saw her in my mind come into the bedroom, sit in a chair and look at me, sort of like she was comforting me. I called out to her and immediately woke up.”

“Then again, another time, I heard her call my name while I was sleeping. In front of my face was a large pad of paper and a hand was writing on it, but I could not read it and again woke up.”

“This last week, (still very sad) I heard her ask me “What is the matter?” I heard myself speak out loud, “I am sad.” I don’t think I was in a deep sleep.”

“These do not seem like any regular dreams I’ve had. In fact, I don’t usually remember my dreams. I guess I really need to believe it is her but at the same time I am skeptical. I don’t know what to make of it all. I read that grief plays tricks on your mind and it is just the trauma of grief and not really the deceased person. My greatest wish is that it is really my mom and she is with me. That would calm me.”

Commentary- There is a stage of sleep we pass through as we begin to fully awaken. This stage is often associated with the memory of having vivid dreams, experiencing curious occurrences and a feeling of such realness, that it can leave one wondering what the heck just happened and what it all means. I call this stage the Twilight Bridge, for reasons I will explain.

Although I had certainly experienced this phenomenon before in my life and chalked it up as interesting, it didn’t become tremendously fascinating until after I had lost loved ones to death. It was only then that a pattern formed, when my departed would, many times, come to visit me there at the Twilight Bridge.

I call it the Twilight Bridge because it is that magical space between dimensions that connects a more liquid, lucid dream-like world to our solid, fixed waking world. It didn’t take me long to realize that, if I experienced a visitation with my departed loved one during this magical lucid stage, and especially if they were giving me some detailed information, which only happened on occasion, I only had minutes to write it down before the message quickly faded with the waking up to my daily world. Of course, I would remember the gist of what happened, but in thinking I would remember what happened so clearly later, to write it down, was a lesson in which I could never recover those complete fresh details ever again.

While deep in my grief, I would love to sleep, just for the possibility of a Twilight Bridge experience and what I would learn from it. I even trained myself, to the extent that I could, to monitor my dreams for visitations. I would practice lucidity and awareness. For instance, once I was aware that I was experiencing lucidity, I would train myself to look all around me to see what was there. To my surprise, I would often find departed loved ones right at the periphery of my awareness.

Sometimes the visitations were visual and aural with touch, like a regular visit with someone in this realm. Sometimes the visits were just auditory. But the voice was clear enough to not deny. There were times I was left with the memory of a feeling that something big and important had just happened. And… sometimes the messages would be more abstract and I would have to feel into the experience to decipher its true message. But, whatever it was, it didn’t matter. It was one more chance to be with my loved one again in a way that was very real. Sometimes… even more real than in this physical realm.

Having had my fair share of Out-of-Body Experiences, I did have the experience of actually meeting my loved ones in the space, part-way, between two worlds during that twilight time or twilight sleep stage. There was even one time when, while visiting with a deceased friend, I began to awaken, only to realize that I couldn’t move my body for a few minutes until I completely returned. At least that is exactly what it felt like to me.

I’m not even saying that we are meeting on an actual bridge somewhere. And maybe we are. I am saying that the twilight state, in and of itself, seems to be the space for us to meet up between realms. And, that’s why I call it the Twilight Bridge. It’s a joy to experience.

Besides having these experiences during the twilight state where Jan would have the experience of being with her mother, she would also hear and see her as well. Although Jan was in a sleep state, she was on the Twilight Bridge. Jan was seeing with her spiritual eyes. Some people refer to them as the Third eye Chakra, others would say they were the eyes of the spirit.

It’s funny but, we tend to think that using our physical eyes is where it’s at, as far as giving us information. Of course we would, dwelling in this physical realm. That’s what we are used to. But consider this. It is possible that we can actually see more sometimes, when our physical eyes are closed. We see some of the things the physical eyes might never see because of what the physical brain filters out as irrelevant to physical survival. Eyes closed in a particular meditative state makes it possible to connect more deeply with our spiritual self – a good self to know.

Learning to see with spiritual eyes has such value. Of course, your brain may not know what to think of it. And, that’s why people will doubt their spiritual experiences. Eventually, the brain that has no idea how to explain these things away, slowly begins to accept these unusual occurrences as legitimate experiences.

Skepticism can be a good thing. Being cautious and even a little bit suspicious keeps us from being deceived in life and is considered useful to our brain for survival in our day to day experience. Also, filtering out what it thinks is irrelevant material, like it does, the brain might consider this spiritual stuff as made up fluff. Truth is… for many people, the brain has little use for a wild goose chase beyond the five physical senses. But… just because our finite brain doesn’t always understand or comprehend the spiritual stuff, it doesn’t mean it is not a “real” experience.

As far as Jan’s example of the traumatized brain playing tricks on one by re-creating departed loved ones? I have seen plenty of spiritual phenomena, including departed beings, while I was and was not traumatized by grief. It’s a thing! If it were true that grief-traumatized beings could hallucinate their departed loved one into existence… then why doesn’t it happen to the bereaved all the time? Honestly, you can’t manufacture an after-death communication. You can only provide the best space for it to occur.

It is common for a caretaker to feel guilty for one thing or another. As for Jan, the reality is that it was not your fault that your mother fell. I’m just impressed that your mother was still walking around at 99 years of age!

Also, your dreams were not regular dreams. They were vivid, distinct, memorable, remarkable and more real that the average non-sensical dreams. Your mother was definitely reaching out to you, repeatedly, just in case you had any doubts. Your mother doesn’t want you to feel guilty about her fall and that is was her time to go. She is at peace and out of pain. Your mother wanted you to know that and to comfort you in your sorrow over her passing. She has gone to great effort to show you that she is watching over you. The good news is that you are sensitive enough to allow her connection.

The great thing is she let you know, for a certainty, that she lives. She survived the grave. She called your name so it would be clear to you that she was really with you and was really talking to you. The hand writing on paper represented the continued contact by your mother, in case you had any doubts of what she was doing. If there was an important message she was trying to leave you that you could not read, she would have made that message very clear. That part of that demonstration was abstract.

Now, since these amazing Twilight Bridge experiences don’t happen all the time, actually they do but we just don’t remember them, it is important for us to know that just because we don’t consciously see, hear, feel or experience them in some way, don’t for one moment think they don’t happen and that our departed loved ones are not present in our everyday lives. We only experience spiritual phenomena when we do and when there is a clear space for it to happen.

The only thing I would advise for anyone to do differently is to not “try” to wake up. Do not immediately engage in the physical world. In doing so, you are not only engaging the conscious brain with your return to this solid and fixed realm, but more importantly, you are pulling yourself out of the glorious, lucid space of your connection with your mom on the bridge. You have connected so many times with her in the space on the Twilight Bridge, already. Next time, stay there a little longer in that bliss to see what else happens.

In the meantime, trust your experiences. They are yours.

A Representation of the Twilight Bridge (Image by Pixabay)

The Medicine That Is Hope

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Just when all seems lost, a distressed Linda cries out to her beloved, Thellis, for help and receives it in a most unexpected and delightful way.

Linda writes:
“I had not been on my game since just before Christmas. Slipping down into the deep end of the latest emotional abyss. There was something below, pulling on me, as I continued hanging on to the metaphorical life preserver of my grief. Even amidst my grief, I would feel pretty darn good, calm and breathing air and all, then all of a sudden under water, swimming in emotion and struggling to get back up to save myself from drowning in my sorrow.”

“I found myself wanting to be reassured that nothing was wrong with feeling this way. That there was no problem with it. That this was all a normal part of the grief process,  because to me, it looked all wrong, like it was a huge problem and I was feeling insane once again.”

“For a few nights before I left my house to visit my daughter who lives in another state, I kept waking up – two nights in a row, repeatedly throughout the night with immediate feelings of dread. The tidal wave of thoughts were so horrific that I not only felt bad emotionally, but physically as well. At the time, I could not see how I could keep doing anything like I normally would. How would I be able to drive hours to meet her? When I got back, how would I be able to go to work, pretend I was okay when I wasn’t at all? How could I pay my bills, look around for new place to live? How could I go on, not being able to stand myself in the state of mind I was in?”

“Looking at my life going forward, it was hard to see my way in such a dark gray, shabby world, with no ability to look forward to anything, enjoy anything, much less find a purpose to all this grief over the recent loss of my love, Thellis.”

“The recent torment I was experiencing, was all because I had hit some kind of strange wall of both physical and mental exhaustion that was making me have great difficulty putting one literal and metaphorical foot in front of the other. And worst of all, I was afraid I was going to forget how he looks and the sound of his voice. I always loved his voice.”

“It took everything in me to just finish packing and carry my things to my car. With all my strength, I said out loud to Thellis, “I want and need your help!” I didn’t know what Thellis would do to help me, but I knew there had to be a part of him that wanted me to not be scared and hurting like this — and to enjoy my upcoming time with my daughter… our daughter, Marijo.”

Mourning Doves

“Now, I need to share a back story first before continuing. As I pondered my after-death communications from Thellis, I hoped that one of these days there would be an actual physical object showing up on this planet, that was so obvious, that there could be no doubt, even from a stranger’s viewpoint, that would be too amazing to explain away. I needed some solid proof, something tangible, but that had not happened yet.  I had thought, and even said out loud over past 3 1/2 months, that I knew it could not be a dove, of course. The reason is because I’ve never seen one up here in my neck of the woods and certainly not now that it’s winter, but still reasoned that it sure would be nice since there was such a strong association of doves and Thellis. You see, Thellis loved those sweet mourning doves so much and the cooing noise they would make. He would imitate them sometimes during our conversations. So even though it could never be that, maybe it could be something else just as obvious to me.”

“So, now back to my current story. After I trudged to my car with my belongings and put them in the car, got in my car and was wishing that he would just touch me… immediately, for next couple of minutes, I felt as if a feather was tickling my face as I pulled out of my driveway. I even brushed my hand across my face to feel if something was there. Nothing was there but the feeling of a feather tickling around my face.”

“Then, as I drove out of out my neighborhood, to my complete surprise, I suddenly saw in the middle of my street- a flock of doves! I’m so mad I didn’t take a picture but I was so stunned and remained that way- I didn’t even think of it. After all, it was below zero and still snow on the ground and I had never seen any doves since living here for the past 7 years. As if that was not enough, 15 miles down the highway, I pulled off to go to a convenience store. When I pulled into park, in my rear view mirror, that were 2 doves standing in a grassy area by the store. I was so happy. I immediately knew this was from him!”

“What happened next, I didn’t think possible. Immediately my physical and mental energy was restored. I was calm, peaceful, sane and hope was on the horizon that the future would not always be a cold, flat and colorless world. And now, more than anything, an absolute knowing that he was right there beside me and that we were and are eternally connected. With this experience I could see, at least a glimpse, of how something beautiful could be born out of this nightmarish pain of grieving.”

“I thought, “Maybe I could survive it after all and even help somebody else someday who was experiencing this kind of suffering. I just needed to trust the process, God and myself and refrain from beating myself up when I find myself in these emotional tidal waves that throw me to and fro in a full array of emotional insecurity when all of the sudden I’ve lost hope- as I did before Thellis helped me with the doves.”

Commentary- Anyone who has done some serious grieving is all too familiar with the frequent plunges into the deep end of the emotional sea of grief. The pain of grief is persistent, pervasive and anxiety producing, to say the least, as one constantly struggles to stay afloat. At times, the feeling of being so overwhelmed with the fear and panic of imminent devastation, can feel like the possibility of being swept up and carried out to sea. Just one lost soul out there in a sea of pain just trying to survive against the power and strength of relentless emotional waves. Sometimes, even emotional tidal waves of pain.

Yes. Grief can feel like this. Depending on your range of feeling, one might really identify with the above description. To some, this does not seem dramatic, but very familiar. It hurts, it’s devastating and there is little to do when one realizes that they are at the mercy of a grueling grief process that seems to have its’ own mind. Controlling the grief process? What’s that?

Lost boat in rough waters

Processing deep grief can be so scary and dark, with many ups and downs and feelings of hopelessness and being out of control. It’s like being in a boat out to sea, alone and lost in stormy weather, with no way to know how to find your way back to the safety of saneness and stability. No, you just have to deal with each new emotional wave that crests.

There are some brief moments of reprieve, where one thinks they are out of the chaos of that storm, only to be reminded that, at least at the beginning of the grief process, those moments do happen at times, but are fleeting before disruption occurs once more. The good news is that relief becomes more and more of a constant as time and perspective gives way to healing.

Although the grief process is commonly filled with a great degree of pain and despair, if there are suicidal thoughts, especially thoughts that include a suicidal plan, immediately seek help. Here is a link for my resources and emergency page for reference. For sure, deep grief is not for sissies. Keep processing though, find support because healing eventually happens. It really does just take time.

Grieving at such depth can bring up every insecurity possible, every fear. The chaos of grief can make one feel insane at times, too. Grief can cause physical and mental torment and exhaustion as Linda has described, enough to where she began to see a world without color, a life with no future, no purpose or meaning and therefore; no point to living. The loss of a loved one is sometimes so traumatic that it can occur like an assault, causing one to give up on any hope, whatsoever.

But then, something happened when Linda, in her weary state, reached out to ask Thellis for help. Thellis, knowing of her condition and plea began to answer. First the tickle of a bird feather around her face, followed by a lovely bouquet of many doves. It wasn’t as though these doves were off flying somewhere when she saw them, or that they were off on the side of the road, in the moment she needed it most, they were exactly, literally in her path! And, if the doves weren’t enough by themselves, she got the precursor of the tickle to let her know something was up.

What a special gift from Thellis, who gave Linda exactly what she wished for, but didn’t think possible. To Linda, this was nothing less than amazing that the doves she hadn’t seen in 7 years were right there before her. Doves that Thellis happened to love. The doves that were the physical proof she wanted to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that Thellis really does hear her, loves her and is there by her side.

But even with all those miracles, among them is the medicine of hope. Before Thellis’s signature gift to her, Linda was barely functioning. She was struggling, low in energy, in pain and in desperate need of help. After Thellis’s signature gift? Linda was restored to a vibrant, pain-free, energetic and excited self. Linda was completely healed in that moment that her hope was renewed.

The medicine of hope is powerful. In Linda’s experience of receiving the signs she asked for, when she was at her very lowest and with the medicine of hope, Linda was instantly made whole. Immediately restored by her experience was the possibility of a life with color, a future ahead of her, a purpose to serve others in deep pain, meaning, and a point to the living of that life. It’s amazing how hope can heal so quickly and thoroughly.

Our departed loved ones are with us. They may not always be able to show us, but they are. They are connected to our thoughts and feelings. They are connected to our lives. They are here to watch over and to help us through this life. And, in time, we will be reunited with them. When that happens, there will be no more need to hope. There will be no more need for tears. With the joy from our reunion, our wishes and prayers will forever be answered.

Hope. Follow the Light on your path.

Death From a Scientific Perspective

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An interesting scientific article, about the death of a loved one, offers a surprisingly encouraging and comforting perspective about afterlife existence.

Several years ago while grieving the loss of her husband, Jason, Lynda stumbled upon this NPR interview. She found it extremely comforting in a very fundamental way. Recently, Lynda shared this article with me. I found it so clear and amazing that I wanted to share it forward to those it might help to show that, in some ways, science and faith can interface in the best of ways. Hopefully, this interview will somehow assist in the comfort and healing of your loss.

Source: NPR All Things Considered- 2015.
Host, Michele Norris and Guest, Commentator- Aaron Freeman, have the following conversation.

MICHELE NORRIS, host: Introduction of her guest:
“Commentator Aaron Freeman isn’t a person who does much planning ahead. However, if you like to look ahead to the future, he has some advice for you, advice on planning your funeral.”
AARON FREEMAN, guest:
“You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.”

“And at one point you’d hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.”

“And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives.”

“And you’ll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they’ll be comforted to know your energy’s still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you’re just less orderly. Amen.”

Commentary- When I think of science in general, I think of sterile environments, serious people in white lab coats and protective gloves and eyewear. When I think of physics, I think of mathematical formulas and the mechanics of matter and energy and remember that I was never great at math. Having lumped my sciences together, I imagined laboratory/clinical testing that is rather cold and impersonal. The process of hypothesis, evidence gathering, testing, measuring and observing, in an effort of proving a scientific theory, seemed stark and unfriendly to me.

So for me, having personally experienced before, how very deep and devastating the grief of losing a loved one goes, I found this article’s perspective to be interesting and unusually reassuring in every way possible. I also found myself realizing that, on some level, my version of hard cold science and warm and fuzzy faith could possibly be describing some of the same things, just from different perspectives. Or… at the very least, they, in each of their viewpoints, form a simple foundation for science and faith to share in exploring existential questions of life, death and afterlife. The subject of matter and energy? Definitely more interesting to me now.

When confronted with a death of a loved one. By far, the deepest concern, even among people of faith, is whether their departed loved one still exist after their death. I mean, it’s natural that this question would begin to creep in. It’s a different world now. To go from being accustomed to experiencing our loved one with our usual physical senses for so long in the physical realm and then, suddenly, they are gone- no more to be seen, heard, felt or experienced in that same way is jarring. Without an after-death sign anywhere is sight, this might make one wonder about things that were previously just accepted and taken for granted.

It’s mind boggling to suddenly be forced to experience a departed loved one in a much different way, such as a spirit or an energy field… the subtle form of who they once were. In those who are abruptly thrust into facing such an existential crisis as a death, the survivors are forced into finding a deeper understanding and meaning for themselves. Of course, there are always some painfully nagging questions I am asked about. Here are some of them-

I know what I’ve been taught, but does my loved one still exist? Really?
Is my departed loved one around me now?
Does my departed loved one remember me now? Care for me? Love me still? Am I important enough to be remembered?
Does my departed loved one know how I feel and what I’m thinking? I wish they knew. I wish I could tell them.
Can/will my departed loved one visit me at times or send signs for me?
Will my departed loved one guide my path and protect me throughout the days of my life?
Is my departed loved one happy and free?
Does my departed loved one want me to be happy and free?
Can my grief ever be healed? Will I ever smile again?
Will my departed loved one be there when I need them the most?

By the way, for anyone who might wonder about some of these same questions as well, my knowledge and experience informs me that the answer to all of these questions is yes, Absolutely.

So, where can science and faith possibly meet? Energy is the foundation we can build upon.

“The first law of thermodynamics, also known as Law of Conservation of Energy, states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed; energy can only be transferred or changed from one form to another. … In other words, energy cannot be created or destroyed.” What this means is that everything has always existed and can never not exist. It’s just that it can existed in one form or another.

The end is not really the end. There is no end. Even science, The Law of Conservation of Energy agrees. Not one bit of you (the foundational part of you) is gone. Like water, ice and condensation is the same just a different consistency, the form is another form now. Physical is now subtle energy. And, at some point, that can change form, too.

We are still together. Although we can’t explain exactly what that looks like, because we can’t comprehend that far outside of what our brains can think, we are made from the same energy fabric, always and forever. How could we not be together- always and forever?

“You need not have faith; indeed, you should not have faith.” Because science knows what we’ve previously just had faith about. “They can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they’ll be comforted to know your energy’s still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you’re just less orderly. Amen.”

In other words, a departed loved one may not have a physical body at this time, but it doesn’t mean they no longer exist. They are just subtle energy now. It’s all energy though. We are all nothing but energy. We are one, together, always and forever.

They are a part of you, too. Even now, you influence them and they influence you. Energetically, they might even visit or give you a sign of their continued existence. They are still here, warming the way for us, through us and being our light as we wade through a chaotic world. Yet, with all these possibilities, many times, the saddest part of us falls prey to the belief that our departed loved one is far from us. Out there. Over there, somewhere… as if there were such a thing. What if they are over here, with us, within us, always and forever. What if that was not just a belief but an absolute knowing, instead? Without a sure knowledge, why would we choose to have the sad belief over the comforting one?

The author writes about what to tell the grieving widow, “All the photons that bounced from you (deceased husband) were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.”

There is a lasting impression left on each of us, by us. In the physical realm, and in an energetic way, we recognize and bear witness of one another and our experiences, always to be remembered. And even… until the point at which we may be re-membered to each other- in another form. How exciting it is that we have the possibility of being together, forever with our beloved ones while we experience them in different ways.

A Physicist many not say it like this, like a person of faith would, that the distillation of a departed person’s energy is also known as spirit, and some might, but to me, what both are saying is basically the same thing. One is stated from more of a clinical and impersonal perspective, while the other explanation of faith may occur as a more warm, fuzzy, personally meaningful way. What if both ways of discovery were legitimate? And not, one perspective is valid and the other is not.

spirit photo credit: pixabay

If we still exist in some form or another aspect of that form, what else are we without a physical shell, if we are not spirit energy? I never realized that science could be so reassuring when it came to death and an afterlife. But in allowing the perspectives of science and faith to interface, I take it as further evidence of what I’ve always known spirituality to be. Both perspectives working together can give us reassurance, comfort and hope. In the end, we never die. All is well.

energy photo credit: pixabay

A Thanksgiving Vibe

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On this day of giving thanks, Kim experienced some extra special Thanksgiving vibes which made her very grateful.

Georgie

Kim writes:
“Jade! Something odd happened today. I was sitting in the living room with my dog, Georgie, on the footstool in front of me. We were watching the Thanksgiving Day parade. Feeling horrifically sad, I was crying hard. I was thinking of my husband, Terry, of course, my first holiday without him.”

“In my hand, I had this necklace that was made a long time ago. Back then, when I asked Terry to give me a phrase to have printed on it, the phrase he gave me was: “You are my world and my eternity.” I don’t usually wear jewelry, but for some reason, on this day, I wanted to feel Terry’s words close to me.”

“Now, for the odd happening. I was squeezing this pendant in my hand, holding the message part of the pendant between my thumb and index finger. I leaned over and pressed it into Georgie’s shoulder as I was hugging her. I was thinking of Terry and wanted him to know how much Georgie and I miss him.”

“At that very moment I pressed the pendant into Georgie’s fur, the pendant started wildly vibrating! Concerned, I immediately jumped back and pulled it off Georgie, thinking that it was static electricity? I was worried that Georgie may have been a bit shocked. However, she didn’t flinch a muscle as she was sleeping and even, snoring, so no, that wasn’t the case. The moment I pulled back, the vibration stopped.”

Terry

“To “test it” once more, I pressed the pendant onto Georgie’s shoulder again, as I had before, but nothing happened. But here’s the thing. I not only felt the pendant vibrating, when I pulled back to look at it, I could plainly SEE it wildly vibrating like crazy, too!”

“After I experienced all of this, and realized it wasn’t a static electricity shock, I KNEW it must have been Terry telling me he was here! I didn’t cry very much after that.”

Commentary- The use of energy fields are how departed loved ones attempt communication with those still in the physical realm.

On the face of it, one might wonder how on Earth non-physical beings could have anything to do with interfacing with physical beings. I mean, it’s not like they are the same anymore, are they? And, it seems like now, with them out of sight, they are so far away from us that they are not a part of our lives. Well… the common denominator is that everything that exists is made of energy- both physical beings as well as non-physical beings. Both things seen and unseen. So, bottom line… yes, fundamentally, they are exactly the same as us, as every thing is energy first. And also… energy is everywhere, even in our daily lives.

We hear energy as sound, we see energy as light, we feel energy as heat, and when we are in motion, we produce energy that comes from, hopefully, the nutritious food energy we put in our bodies for sustenance. In a more primitive setting though, upon death, a physical body would break down to become one with the Earth. The decomposing body would supply energy to feed the Earth for a time, as well as other organisms receiving the energy thereof.

However, the energy of the once physical but decaying unpreserved body is not the end of the story. The spiritual energy that sheds its body below, rises to continue life above and beyond its Earthy vehicle. So, yes, basically both ways of looking at conservation of energy, physical and spiritual, can be true at the same time. Another way to say this is that everything is energy. Every thing.

According to Albert Einstein, “Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another.” In other words… We are all in this together, forever!

In many after-death communications, we experience our loved one’s energy getting our attention through electrical disturbances; tv or music suddenly turning on/off, the uncanny physical feeling of being touched or hugged by someone unseen and hearing the inexplicable clear voice of the familiar departed loved one. Some experience sudden and unexplained temperature changes, seeing light flashes or any kind of unusual visual anomalies and even seeing departed loved ones or smelling a sudden scent that fills the space reminding us of our special one who has long crossed over. These are a few examples of the many ways our beloved ones use energy to tell us that they exist and there is life after death- a continued life, a promising forever in which we will all exist together again. Our loved ones find many ways in which to reassure us, if we are paying attention, hoping to blot away some of our tears and replace them with the hope and confidence for us to move forward.

Then, there is always the unexplained wild and crazy buzzing of vibration. An afterlife favorite! But it’s really all about vibration. When I talk about vibes, it is this that I refer to- every thing is expressed through vibrational energy, whether we are consciously or unconsciously aware of it, it is so. Just think of all we are not aware of! If thinking about that doesn’t make you wonder enough to begin to blow your mind, I don’t know what would, because it’s pretty much… everything… and begins to make sense by answering the questions to our deepest fears.

So, back to Kim, Georgie and Terry. Kim’s intention was strong that Thanksgiving. Strong enough that she happened to have that physical pendant in her hand- even though she didn’t know exactly why on that day in particular, rather than another day. This definitely, along with her intense heartfelt message to her beloved, somehow created an access through which Terry could easily and powerfully respond in kind.

But, Kim didn’t just feel the buzzing vibration, she saw it wildly moving, too. Lot’s of energy producing movement and even if it was just for an instant, it made a huge difference in her world. That was no imagination or wishful thinking that day. Instead, as Kim was expressing her and Georgie’s energetic message to Terry, he expressed an energetic message back to them. How absolutely beautiful.

Our loved ones are always with us. Believe this until you know it.

Several days later, after I received Kim’s 2020 Thanksgiving experience and was working on the commentary for this post, I checked in with Kim to clarify some things about her experience. Kim shared a recovered memory from decades earlier involving her departed mother that seemed similar to the one she experienced recently with Terry. So with permission, I share it here.

Kim writes:
“When my Mom died, I was getting ready for her funeral. I had a chosen pair of black slacks that were hanging on an over-the-closet-door thingie.”

“I was looking at the slacks, thinking maybe I should wear a skirt? All of a sudden the pants on the hanger started shaking like crazy! I took it as a sign my Mom wanted me to wear the slacks! I told Terry about this at the time. He didn’t say much. So long ago now… 20 plus years ago. But… maybe he remembered and used the same sign for me?”

To that I add… Why not?

And, it is also possible that through Kim’s remembering of the old story of her mother choosing the clothes that she should wear to the funeral, that it’s her mom now chiming in as if to say, “See? It really was me back then! And here I am now to help you to understand your recent experience.” Like I said, vibration is an afterlife favorite.

Please know that our loved one’s energy is always with us in more ways than we can ever begin to understand or comprehend. Whether we are consciously or unconsciously aware… their energy is around us. And… remember, that it’s all of the time, too. Could love do anything else?

Georgie sleeping peacefully by the Fire. She already knows all this.

The Spiritual Magic of Engagement

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On the five year anniversary of Marcus’s passing, Karen gets a delightful surprise visit from her love, as she visits his memorial tree.

The Path

On October 11, 2020, Karen wrote:
“Five years ago today, my love, Marcus, lost his earthly life to depression/suicide. On this day, I planned a trip to the memorial tree that I chose for him years ago. It had been almost a year since I visited our tree where I left a painted rock for him- so many years ago. I actually contemplated not going, using the cold wind as an excuse- and knowing he can feel my love from anywhere.”

“This year, I made a special ornament with a poem on it to leave for him, so I decided to go to the path to where I thought the tree was. To my disappointment, I realized that it had been so long, that I had forgotten which tree it was that I left the original memorial rock. I walked around and found another tree, this time, a pine tree that I named our “Christmas tree”. I told my love that I would make this our new tree since I forgot where the original one was. I hung the ornament and talked to him for a while.”

“As I left the tree and started walking down the path, my eye caught a yellow painted rock hidden in a tree trunk. I laughed and wanted it to be a sign from my love, but it didn’t resonate as anything other than amusing, and I almost kept walking.”

Yellow rock

Bug-like rock with eyes

“Be Engaged”

“However, my eyes noticed another painted rock in the tree with a message that said, “be engaged.” I thought it was a cool message and wanted it to be a sign for me, but the message didn’t really resonate either.”

Original Rock

“Next, I looked down and noticed blue colored leaves that stood out. Curious about it, I looked further and found the original stone that I painted for Marcus and left a few years earlier. That is when I knew this was our tree!”

“Then, low and behold, if that was not enough, I saw a red rock under the leaves close by. I pulled it out. It was a brightly painted red rock with eyes on it. When I turned it over, the message for me said, “u are loved.”

Wow! Talk about a sign! I could feel my love laughing and rejoicing that I found his sign- as I almost did not!! What an amazing day! I felt so blessed and wanted to share with everyone that this is proof- after 5 years. A lot has changed in my life- but love never dies- and they never leave us!!”

Commentary- If we take a close look at the chronological happenings of Karen’s experience, a pattern begins to form in which an important lesson comes into view.

Completely unaware of somehow passing, and unable to find Marcus’s original memorial tree ahead, Karen finds another tree to rename as their new tree. But interestingly enough, on her way back, Karen notices a curious yellow spotted bug-like rock with eyes. Obviously, this is a sign that means “to look and see.” Although Karen wanted it to be a sign, this rock didn’t seem to resonate. In thinking that a sign or message is unrelated to us, how many times has that happened to us all?
Next, Karen literally sees the sign that says, “Be Engaged.” Again, although nice, Karen brushed it off as not applicable to her. Again. Thinking that a sign or message is “nice” but is unrelated to us, how many times has that happened to all of us? A lot of the time.
It was at that time that the strange appearance of bluish leaves caught her eye that she found the original rock that made her realize the this was their tree! It was only after the strange blue leaves that she started to really tune in. Karen became engaged at a higher level and was now available for some spiritual magic. (To clarify, when I talk about spiritual magic, I’m not referring to anything negative or occult-like. When I talk about spiritual magic, I mean something heavenly and extraordinary, that it rarely occurs in everyday life).
Now, Marcus had her attention! But what was he trying to say? While bent over, Karen noticed the red rock with big eyes as if to see and say to her, “Are you engaged now? Look and see my signs and message.”
In turning the rock over on the five year anniversary of Marcus’s passing/transition, Karen knew everything she could ever want to know from Marcus. That in her remembering of Marcus and their love on that very special day, she too, was remembered and loved by Marcus, as well.

The definition of “engage” means to be interested in, involved in and that there is something to pay attention to. Although at first, each sign upon Karen’s path seemed to be unrelated, all the signs were clearly trying to get her attention and hoping beyond hope that she would not miss the prize. When she finally found it, it was all too clear from Marcus’s proud and joyful laughter, that his message was successfully delivered to his love on that special day.

But, Karen came close to missing this. If it weren’t for the strange blue leaves, she might have left disappointed that her love was silent on that day. She might have become insecure- cried and doubted, too. She might have gone home and wondered if Marcus is still around and if he still cares about her after these five years. (By the way, our loved ones are around, and do care about us always).

However, all too often, signs are right in front of us. Without the magic of engagement and that spark of curiosity contained therein, those same signs might be over-looked. Instead of recognizing them, these special signs are wasted on us as easily dismissed… or perhaps just chalked up to wishful thinking. With this way of thinking, we miss so much of the beauty of spiritual magic that exists right in our path and just beyond our vision. In missing it, we miss the prize, too.

As humans, consumed with our daily lives, you can see how easy it is to become disengaged to any spiritual magic. As we dwell on this physical plane, with so much going on, it takes a lot of energy to generate presence in each moment. Engagement is not so much a thing we do, as a way of being. It requires our focus and attention. When we lose the wonder and awareness of our inner child, we trade them in for practicality. Worst case scenario is that our faith wanes and we become apathetic and resigned. The danger in this is, we risk missing the very thing that would make our heart sing and bring us the new-found life that was so apparent in Karen’s experience. She was so impacted by her magical encounter with Marcus that she literally wanted to shout it to the world! And, so she did!.

As in Karen’s case, it was only after experiencing some small, and seemingly unrelated things, that she was able tune in to see the bigger picture that was so beautifully laid out before her. Though, seeing the larger picture is rarely possible if we are not engaged in the first place. If we practice becoming more fully engaged, that also means aware, involved and interested in, we become available to spiritual magic. However, like the open, believing and faithful child of wonder we once were, this is no longer automatic for us. As children growing to adulthood, this is something we have learned to forget. And now, as adults, this is something we must learn to rediscover, practice and apply in our daily lives if we are to have access to those spiritual treasures.

Karen got an awesome experience from Marcus. She wasn’t expecting it, but it happened just the same. And, sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t. But, being engaged is a good place to start. Keep the faith. As the spiritual world seeks our attention and engagement, and wants us to look and listen, their message is to convey to us that we are not alone and we are so loved. Through the many millions of after-death communications from beyond, some of which are our own, we know this is a fact. So, let us not casually look on in obliviousness, for the next sign we will never see. When we are engaged in the spiritual magic on our life’s path, that’s when spiritual magic happens.

Knowing, The Four Eyes of Awareness

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As I was writing the commentary to one of Kim’s last posts, she remembered an important detail about “knowing” that bears repeating and explanation.

Kim writes:
“After my Mom passed and Terry had the out-of-body experience to visit to her, he often told me, that time, for the people in Heaven, goes by in the blink of an eye. I didn’t and still don’t know why he thought this or how he knew this. However, he mentioned it quite often when we would be talking about my Mom and also when we’d be talking of his inevitable end of life coming soon. Meaning… I guess that he wouldn’t have long to wait for me to join him?”

“He was just sure that time in Heaven and time here are totally different. He also told me that he and I (and our loved ones… and even our beloved dogs!) would be together for eternity. He was certain of it.”

“I was always curious as to how/why he was so certain of this. I am guessing that he may have been more “intuitive” than I realized. And, that he simply didn’t tell me everything he experienced?”

In any event… I hope he’s right.”

Commentary- “Knowing” is definitely a thing. It’s also a difficult thing to articulate. I mean, how could you know something with such certainty, without having any recollection of where this knowledge came from in the first place? How is it suddenly just there when it wasn’t before?

Indeed, it may sound illogical, and maybe even irrational to some, but the result is still… that you know this particular something… and you still don’t know how you know it. Or… at the very least, you can’t remember how you know it. Therein lies the clue.

The particular “knowing” of something is just immediately present, as if you already had an experience that you can’t quite remember, and are left with the experience’s lasting residue. This “knowing” could come instantaneously without warning, as it often does. It could even come over time and then suddenly, you become aware that it’s been there all along.

This “knowing” comes in the form of the Four Eyes of Awareness – insight, intuition, information or instruction. It may or may not have been something already on your mind. But, like “knowing” often does, the form it takes seems to magically appear as it is incorporated immediately into your thought stream to live as truth.

These Four Eyes of Awareness have everything to do with spiritual sight, or seeing something that was previously hidden, before you were made spiritually aware. Or, in other words, a revelation. Although the following words I use as examples, all start with the letter I, I say Eyes instead, because each one really represent a different spiritual perception used by our spiritual eyes.

Here are some very common examples of this.

Insight- Have you ever woken up and just known that you were with your departed loved one, but couldn’t remember a thing? You just knew. It’s like you still felt their lingering presence around you. Or have you ever had a dream you can’t recall but you get a general knowledge of the contents and what it means.
Instruction- Have you ever been tangled up in an emotional/mental mess, only to have a brilliant moment of clarity, long enough, to see your way free from the mess that seemed impossible? Now, suddenly, there is a way through and you know exactly what to do.
Intuition- Have you ever had a strong “feeling” about something that turned out to be true, after the fact? Intuition is a form of knowing similar to premonition. Many times, these two forms of spiritual knowledge prepare us in advance of something that is to be.
Information- Have you ever had a near-death, out-of-body, shared-death or after-death experience that was so profound that you came back into this realm with previously unknown knowledge? You may find memories, so real, from another existence surfacing that begin to put important puzzle pieces together about your life, mission and purpose. It happens when one is ready for, and is welcoming of spiritual awareness.

Terry’s experiences were great examples of how one can “know” something. Whether Terry was outright taught these things on his spiritual journeys or whether he came back and was downloaded with the knowledge later, it is all the same. He had the knowledge at a much deeper level than he could receive from the human’s brain perspective. He received the knowledge at a soul level, which often leaves the surface self to wonder about what it can barely comprehend. These spiritual experiences are an important clue and reminder that we are spiritual beings, first, and human beings, second. What would it take to have a sure knowledge about that?

So, yes, Kim. Terry knew however he knew, and he was right about what he knew. This life is so short, like the blink of an eye. And you, he and your puppies will all be happily reunited together once again through love.

For reference on this post, please read Kim’s other experiences- Spiritually Sensitive People and Other Worldly Experiences.

Spiritual Awareness

Spiritually Sensitive People

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Why are some people more susceptible to being an access point for spiritual experiences rather than others? Here is something to consider.

In my last post, Other Worldly Experiences, Kim shared her husband, Terry’s, experience that left him fearless of death. Although it was many years ago, it gave him reassurance that death and the afterlife is nothing to be afraid of.

Terry

Kim writes:
“Weeks before my husband’s passing, Terry fell onto our tiny stair landing. He was going downstairs to go to the bathroom. I heard him fall, I sprang out of bed screaming, “TERRY, TERRY!” His head was turned at an odd, almost upside down angle. The top of his body was on the landing, his legs were still on the top of the one step. As I was screaming, he was not answering me and I thought he was dead! Finally, as I reached him to help him up, he spoke. He later told his sister that he was hovering up at the ceiling, looking down on himself!”

Commentary- Have you ever wondered why some people are more spiritually sensitive than others? This question comes up a lot… and unfortunately is paired with a lot of their frustration that they consider themself to be the non-sensitive type. Already feeling harshed up about their perceived deficit of spiritual sensitivity, the bigger the issue the non-sensitive person makes it – the more difficult being spiritually sensitive becomes. This vicious cycle of wanting and not getting, has the tendency of leaving one to feel frustrated and inadequate, furthermore, adding insult to injury.

However, being spiritually sensitive is not about being adequate or inadequate. Consciously or unconsciously, with their consciousness, some people are just able to tap into the upper/outer edges of the vibrational frequency range more easily.

Vibrations

The physical realm, in which we experience our everyday lives, is made up a vibrational frequencies. Most people perceive their reality within a particular vibrational range. This range could also be referred to as a vibrational spectrum. In this context, we experience the five physical senses that are so common to everyday living. We are very familiar with them- seeing, hearing, touching, tasting and smelling.

We are told by some skeptics, that nothing exists outside this particular set of vibrational frequencies. “That’s just our life and there is nothing else.” And… if something else is experienced outside of physical explanation, that experience may be chalked up to either fringe, fantasy or insanity. Adding, “Go back to your 5-sensory cubicle, weirdo!” But… how much sense does this really make when so many people have viewed phenomena outside of the box?

Of course, those people saying this are usually the ones whose consciousnesses have never ventured outside the status quo perimeter to have a genuine spiritual experience. It is also true that these spiritual experiences are often unexplainable, when trying to convey them from a physical context of a five-physical-senses brain point of view. That’s all there is to the brain’s knowledge base, and the rest is likely perceived as either a mystery, weird or invalid.

The Law of Vibration, one of the Universal Laws, states that everything in the Universe is in motion and is made up of vibration. That means you, your thoughts and emotions, every one else, their thoughts and emotions and basically… everything. Within a human’s paradigm, we mostly have access to the range that includes the physical 5-senses range, except those rare moments when we find ourselves in higher frequencies and wonder, “What the heck just happened?”

However, if, for some reason, our ability to sense anything becomes greatly heightened, and with our consciousness, we are able to go closer to or beyond the higher frequency of the upper or outer edges of the normal physical range, we are susceptible to having a spiritual experience, allowing us to receive and be privy to spiritual information from the spiritual realm. It’s really that simple.

There are some people who consistently experience their lives on the upper edges of the vibrational spectrum, some of us only visit periodically, and others seem to never visit at all, as they are firmly grounded in the lower ends of the physical spectrum. Usually, those people rarely have a spiritual experience, nor do they believe they exist. And then… there exists some combination of everything in between.

However, it does seem to be true that, once you are sensitive enough to have a spiritual experience, you become more susceptible to experiencing them more often. It’s as if your consciousness shifts to allow for more. Perhaps the brain accepts the new unknown experience enough to allow it a place to reside and eventually integrate.

Terry was such a person. Being spiritually sensitive, Terry’s consciousness was, at times, able to experience a heightened degree of range.

A whole range of catalysts can create the “space” to become more spiritually sensitive. We all know that prayer, meditation, relaxation, and hypnosis can create a high vibration because of particular brainwaves that are induced. Thoughts of empowerment, love and goodwill excel on the emotional scale. Positive thoughts, as well as dwelling in possibility are considered a high state of mind. It is understandable that hate, greed, cruelty and all other negative ways of being, affect us greatly in the opposite direction, as the vibrational frequency is very low.

Terry was also open to receiving these experiences. After experiencing the world beyond, after his mother-in-law’s passing, losing his fear of death, then seeing himself lay helpless on the stair landing after his fall, he did not have to learn that he was a spiritual being having a physical experience. He knew it already. Also, it does occur that one who is close to their death, as was Terry at the time, is more sensitive to leaving their physical body. It seems that in the process and preparation of crossing over to the next life, the spirit begins to detach itself from the metaphorical heaviness of the physical body it was grounded in for so long. I say this because he was easily knocked from his body with his fall. On some level, the spirit knows when it’s time to return to its heavenly home. Sadly for those left behind, Terry passed just weeks later in May of 2020.

Here are some other examples of spiritually sensitive people. There are people who go into a coma, no longer grounded in their physical bodies or in the context of the five senses in which they have previously experienced their lives. Once that happens, it is possible that without the physical reminder of the body, consciousness shifts, and slowly begins to drift off into the world beyond. There are children, who have playmates that we can’t see. Fresh with youth and innocence in this world, often they don’t know they are only supposed to exist in a particular vibrational frequency until we teach them more of what we say is appropriate in the physical plane. So, they experience what they experience, and we tell them they are imagining things. Eventually, most forget they are spirit’s first, loose their sensitivity and also the biggest part of themselves- their true nature becomes hidden.

At some point in life, usually later on, some begin to awaken to a deeper part of themselves and wonder how they can be more spiritually sensitive. The first thing is about being aware that being spiritually sensitive is even possible. The second is understanding how it occurs. Having an open mind increases the chances because with it comes the awe and wonder of a child who is innocent to limits, which is such a great foundation for experiencing possibilities beyond this realm.

Anyone can bring out their inner spiritually sensitive self. When you come from the place that you are spirit first, being spiritually sensitive comes more naturally. After all, spiritual sensitivity is a huge part of your intrinsic nature.

“Other Worldly” Experiences

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“Other Worldly” experiences include spiritual manifestations such as Out of Body, Shared-death and Near-death experiences. Here is an awesome one from Terry.

Terry

Kim writes:
“It’s been 26 years since my mother passed away. On the night of her passing, Terry witnessed an incredible event. My husband and I were asleep in bed and Terry sat up like a BOLT and told me of his experience. He had just been flying at an incredible speed (he felt warm and no pain from his Rheumatoid Arthritis) down a hallway with doors on either side.”

“He came to a door that was open and saw my Mother laying in bed. He said she looked younger. She had a blanket made of a material that he couldn’t describe, it was sort of glowing and sparkly, like the opal gem. He got the impression that they were preparing her for something. He said she (nor he) never actually spoke but he understood from her that she was saying, “Everything is fine, everything is fine.”

“Terry said he was angry (I think because he knew how sad I was that she had died) and that he SLAMMED his hand down on a table near her bed, which held more of that fabric that was covering her up to her neck. Suddenly, he found himself flying down that same hallway again and was SLAMMED back into our bed.”

“Terry said he saw me laying there, sleeping. So obviously, he had an out of body experience. His hand actually HURT from slamming it on that table! This was after he was back with me, the hand still hurt! I was crying and asked why my Mother didn’t come to me like that, he said he thought that maybe she thought it would upset or scare me, so she sent the message to me, through Terry.”

“My point in telling you this is, since he had the experience with my Mom, he said he had no fear about dying, because, from his heavenly experience, he knew it was a good place to go.”

Commentary- As I read this simple yet amazing “other world” experience, I found such eye-opening, clear cut clues embedded in this account that I was excited to interpret them. These experiences are so familiar to me, so I will begin to shed some light.

Terry described his mode of transportation as flying… at an incredible speed no less. Obviously, he was in his spirit form which was not constrained by the weight of the physical body, nor was he operating by the same laws of the physical plane. He had greater freedom of motion, even to the point of being free from his pain. A clear sign he was out of body.

On his flight, Terry flew passed many doors to the one that was open. The open door represented an invitation for him to come in. In other words, what or who he would find in there would be relevant to him in some way. The other closed doors were not his business. What comes to my mind is some sort of hospital for spirits who have recently left their bodies. Perhaps they needed extra care during their transition process.

Through the open door, Terry saw Kim’s mother who had long since passed away. She looked younger. Looking younger is a common description noted when a deceased loved one has been seen by those still in this plane of existence. Many times older people’s spirits will choose to look the way they did in the prime of their lives. There are few exceptions that I’m aware of.

Kim’s mother was resting from/for something with this mysterious blanket over her while lying on a bed. This curious blanket was made of indescribable material, meaning, “other worldly.” It was glowing and sparkly, like an opal gem. But what was its purpose? “To prepare” Terry thought. To prepare means to make ready or make someone able to deal with something. This miraculous “other world” blanket is about healing in some way. Like the hospitals in the physical realm, there are many therapies used on us to prepare/get us ready, to transition us back into our world after we have had some sort of crisis. Perhaps she was being prepared to go into a dramatically different and new plane of existence.

In my profound past life regression by Dr. Weiss, turned instead, end-of-this-life experience, The End Is Only The Beginning, I too witnessed an interesting hospital experience. I was being healed and watched over by heavenly beings on a glowing, opal like or crystalline bed, while my consciousness went through the process of coming to. In my experience, my body had already died but my consciousness had not yet realized it. This is common among people who die in their sleep or die so abruptly that they are not even aware of their death.

Terry and Kim’s mom spoke telepathically– the language medium used on the “other side.” She indicated through her thoughts that she was in good hands and that she was not only fine, but had made it to safety. Her message in a nutshell, “There is no need to worry about me. I am good. I am still alive.”

When Terry slammed his fist on the table next to his mother-in-law’s bed, he might have thought he was in a dream. The fact that Terry’s fist still hurt when he landed back in bed is evidence to him that his experience was real. There was no doubt, with a still painful fist. And now that he was back in the physical realm where pain can be felt, you bet it hurt.

Another classic Out Of Body Experience sign is that, upon his return, Terry saw Kim sound asleep in their bed. Terry was so aware that when he landed in his body, he bounced right back up to recall his experience and give Kim’s mother’s message in living color.

People, like Terry, who have such a real and profound experience of visiting the “other side” realize that, although they don’t understand everything that happens and why, there is nothing after our death to be afraid of. We are just born into a new understanding of existence, where we are young, happy, pain-free to live on from there.

The last thing I want to add is this- it is common to feel bad when someone else gets an experience/message that you think you should have gotten. It hurts and only adds to the insecurity that arises after the death of a loved one. If this should happen to any of you reading this, please consider there was a message given on your behalf- even if it didn’t come through you. In this case, Terry happened to be the access for this message. And… thank goodness! There was a lot of information given in his “other worldly” visit and a very important message for Kim in there.

In the next post, I will use another example in regard to Terry, to show why some people may be more susceptible to being an access point for spiritual experiences rather than others.

Sadly, Terry passed away in May of 2020. Because of this experience, he had some amount of comfort because he knew that this life isn’t the end of life or our relationships. Huge hugs to Kim for sharing this and much love and comfort on her healing path.

Other Worldly

Special Occasion Visitations

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On the 4-year anniversary of his passing, Liz’s father reminds her that he is aware of this day, and makes his presence known to her on her laptop via Skype.

On July 14, 2020, Liz wrote:
“It’s been awhile, but I got another message today. Today is the 4th year of my Dad’s passing.”

laptop

“I came home this afternoon and turned on my laptop. It was doing an update. Once it had finished, the screen stayed black for an extremely long time, which made me wonder if something had gone wrong. Eventually, it sorted itself out and my desktop appeared, but I knew something was still going on in the background.”

“I waited, and eventually it all settled down when I notice an extra icon on my taskbar. It was Skype. I never use Skype. I put my curser on it and it said I was logged in. That was strange so I clicked on “log out” but instead of logging out, it brought Skype up.”

“When I looked at it, Billy, my partner, looked at it too, and asked, “Why are you looking at Skype?” I told him it had started by itself. He asked me the last time I had used Skype. It was 4 years ago after my Dad passed. It was only then that I suspected a visit from my Dad.”

“We weren’t able to go back to the UK for his funeral, since he passed the day we arrived home from visiting him. My family told me not to come back, that we’d been there and seen him just days before and that we could be involved in his funeral via Skype, which we did.”

“So, I’ve come to the conclusion that this was Dad presenting himself on the very day of his passing, just four years later. I went into my update history and today’s update was a general windows 10-monthly update. There was nothing about Skype being included in it.”

Commentary- Sometimes our departed loved ones present themselves to us on special occasions such as, significant dates we once shared together, like holidays, birthdays and anniversaries. Although we normally tend to think of these special occasions as relatively happy events, after experiencing a painful loss, they are now sad, especially when the pain of a loved one’s passing is still fresh and unprocessed.

Even though we will always love and miss our departed ones, as we heal properly through the grief process, a visitation like the one Liz experienced, four years after her father’s passing, likely made her smile in awe and wonder. With the benefit of time, healing and a positive perspective, she avoided the all too common emotional breakdown of one newly affected by such loss, still reconciling and coping with the devastation it created.

Liz has had her share of visitations from her father, as well as others who have gone ahead of her. But knowing Liz the way I think I do, a long distance friend I’ve never met from another continent, who, in words and tone of emails, shares with me her experiences, I think I am safe to say that Liz handles the possibility of spiritual visitations with grace. She is open to receiving them… but does not go out to chase down these magical experiences. However badly she might want them, she allows them to come to her. And they do… whenever they do.

Some sad and frustrated grievers might wonder, “How come my departed loved one never visits me… especially on these important events that held so much meaning?” “There must be some reason. Are they mad at me? Have they forgotten me? Don’t they love me anymore? Am I doing something wrong?” “If I don’t have a visitation from them, I’m going to freak out!”

I’ve heard a variation of the above questions from concerned grievers so often and it breaks my heart. It does seem that in such a vulnerable and raw state of grief, our worst fears tend to surface. As if dealing with the loss of a loved one isn’t enough, our deepest fears (all the unknowns things of death) rear their ugly heads to further torment us by inflicting more pain. The disorientation of this new experience and what it entails, can be deeply unsettling and confusing. We just want a sign to help us feel better!

Given the fear that can come up in the face of a death, it’s easy to jump to the worst conclusions we can think of, instead of the best ones. Why is that? Why are we so quick to question the love and bonding we shared upon this Earth, and why so easily?

A positive and healthy perspective goes a long way here. Here is an example. If one comes from the perspective of scarcity, the tendency for that one will be to view/experience the world from a place of insecurity, unworthy, desperation, fear, never having enough of something, and thinking, “It”- (whatever “it” is) never happens to me. “It happens for others but not for me.” And… the one who sees the world in that way will see the world that way… and that one will be right.

However, if one comes from the perspective of abundance, the tendency for that one will be to view/experience the world from a place of security, worthiness, patient confidence, opulent faith, grace, and thinking, “It could happen to me at any moment, just because it can. And, when it does… I’ll be there for it with an attitude of awe and wonder.” Perspective is powerful. Perspective is everything.

For sure, there is a huge difference between those perspectives. You can feel it in the energy of the words. The one with that powerful perspective generously allows into their experience, so much more.

perspective- dark and light

You see, the experiences of our lives, live themselves out in the perceptions of our choosing, making our lives darker or lighter, heavy or more effortless. However, we are barely conscious or responsible for this. We pretend to have no choice in the matter. It’s just something that’s happening TO us.

Instead of allowing the dark side of fear and scarcity to take us down so quickly, without a fight, perhaps we can remember what really matters when the ‘rubber hits the road.’ While our loved one dwelled here physically with us on this planet, our departed loved us and bonded with us in complex ways that we could never begin to unravel. Our love is our commitment. Why would they simply forget about us now? They could not. It is fear and scarcity speaking that says they could forget you.

Even if you think your departed loved one isn’t here for you on your special occasion, our departed loved ones are here for us in whatever way they are. Trust that. We don’t always get a say in how that looks to us. And, sometimes they surprise us and we do. However, experiencing from the lens of abundance definitely helps to decrease our suffering, giving us the possibility of quicker healing too..

Give yourself some space to see from a positive and healthy lens. The hurtful questions of scarcity don’t need to be entertained. Have some faith in yourself and the love you invested in your loved one while you dwelled together on this planet. Have some faith in them, and the love they invested in you, too. Next time fear raises its ugly head to wonder about your status with your departed loved one, ask yourself this- “What would love do? What else would love do but keep on loving you?”

Abundance

There Is No Place Like Home

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In this after-death communication, Kim’s husband, Terry, hunkers down as a spirit in his home, until he’s good and ready to go to the light.

Kim writes:
“Terry, my husband of 36 years, passed away 6 weeks ago from a horrific battle with prostate/bone cancer. I cannot stop crying.”

“About 5 weeks after his passing, I had a dream that I saw him in his bedroom putting on his pajamas. There were 2 young girls that I did not know standing there. They were in their teens and had long, wavy hair that was parted in the middle. Pardon me for sounding snotty, but they were rather homely looking. They looked almost like twins. Both were wearing a sleeveless, cream colored, slip-over type dress. The material was lightweight and the girls were barefoot.”

“I was standing in the hallway of our house, right at the doorway of his bedroom. The girls were facing me, but Terry was facing the chest of drawers in front of him so I had a side view of him. It seemed as though he had gotten something out of his drawers, probably the pajamas he was putting on. The two girls stared at me, saying nothing, not smiling, they just stared at me. My husband did not look at me! I could not believe he would ignore me! If those girls “saw” me, why didn’t my husband see me?”

“The feeling I got from the girls was very ominous! As if they were telling me NOT to come near Terry! Terry never saw me. Or if he knew I was there, would not acknowledge me? I felt so very scared and hurt!”

Commentary- This dream is symbolic as well as an actual peek into an important moment for Terry. Kim’s dream tells the story of what had happened in that moment so that Kim could be privy to this knowledge and be comforted in her grief.

Although Terry had already passed 6 weeks earlier, in Kim’s dream, he was at home, doing some things he always did, one of which was to put on his pajamas.

Guardian Angel

The two barefoot girls were guardian angels. They appeared as plain in looks and dress because the emphasis was not on them, it was on Terry. Given how amazing it would be to actually see guardian angels, beautiful or even homely, elaborate or plain, Terry was to be the focal point of what Kim was to notice most. But, just an interesting note here, for whatever reason, the bare feet on a spiritual visitor is commonly an indicator of someone not of this world, but instead, the heavenly realms.

Although this experience occurred in a dream, Kim was having an out of body experience and was actually seeing a close up of the reality of the situation with her spiritual eyes.

Right at his bedroom door, Kim sees Terry, going about the day to day motions of living, in this case, one of them is putting on his pajamas as he get ready to go to sleep. He is facing away from Kim. The angels are facing toward Kim, seeming ominous so that Kim does not disrupt the process that is happening.

What was happening? Until that moment, Terry was refusing to leave his home and his wife. Feeling helpless in leaving his wife and life behind, he was hunkered down to stay, so to speak, but rapidly losing that fight with reality. In this light, we see angels who were there guarding his spirit, allowing Kim to witness what happened in the end, yet warning Kim with their minds not to interfere in the process of his imminent ascension into the light that was about to happen.

Terry with his now departed pet, Woody, now together again

It does happen that spirits may try to stay where they were most comfortable, in their home and with the people they love. It wasn’t that Terry didn’t know his body had already passed. He did, but he also knew that he, as a spirit, was alive and wanted to stay. It’s okay that it happens. It works it’s way out one way or another, so there is no need to worry about this if it happens. People and spirits have free will. Either way, Terry was not ready yet and it would not happen one second before he was good and ready. This might have felt like the only control he had at the time, so he used it.

Although, it’s interesting to note that Terry was in his pajamas, which are people’s end of the day clothes. This represents that he was getting ready to slip into another level of consciousness. He knew leaving this realm was inevitable, it was just a matter of will and process, and now it was time.

It’s also common for people who have dreams in which their loved ones don’t acknowledge them, to think their loved one is mad at them for something. This is not true, it’s just a fear the griever may have. Although Terry was not aware of Kim at the time, because he was in a slightly different dimension, he was aware of his situation and that it was time to go.

Signaling a tense moment, he angels appeared ominous to keep Kim away, as it would have made things even harder for Terry to make his transition if he were actually aware of her. Terry, not looking at Kim in her dream, was never about hurting or ignoring her, it was about not trying to hurt her by sticking around as long as he could to protect and watch over her.

As I’m writing this, I’m realizing that not only is this post about an after-death communication from Terry, Kim’s out of body experience, but also, really close to a shared-death experience, that Kim was privileged to witness. A shared death experience, because she actually saw the moment before Terry ascended from the physical realm and into the light. What amazing experiences these all are and so powerful and effective to healing and knowing that the spirit does go on and on after this life.

Kim and Terry’s home fire

There is no place like home. We’ve heard that a lot, and we love our homes. Besides the physical structures that we call our home, there are the emotional and mental structures of support that we love and give us comfort, too. Kim is Terry’s home. Terry is Kim’s home.

Kim knows Terry fought his mightiest to stay in this realm despite the pull on him to do otherwise, but in the end, Terry had to succumb to the inevitability of his spirit’s heavenly home. However, after going into the light, I’m sure it didn’t take long for Terry to realize that he wasn’t limited to just one place. Once returned to the protection of the light, and are debriefed in the knowledge of the light, it doesn’t mean our departed loved ones can’t be with us in our daily lives too. They can and do with the protection of the light of heaven. Otherwise, a soul who stays and does not go to the light is just another haunting. Remember, free will exists for people and spirits. And, I’m glad to say that Terry found his way to the light and still spends time with Kim in their home. Kim still feels Terry’s presence around their home and is greatly comforted by it.

Heavenly home

And one day, not so far away, Kim and Terry will joyfully and fully reunite, face to face, once more in their heavenly home together. But for now, home is where the heart is. And, there’s no place like home. And, there’s no one like our loved ones.

Note- Our brains are complex. But, if you can actually comprehend the simplicity of what I’m about to tell you, here is the best kept secret ever. We can never really be apart from one another- in life or in, what we call, death. We are always connected in our spiritual hearts. No, really. We are.

“Aaron Knows”

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It’s noted that people with a disability have greater spiritual abilities than those who don’t. It’s clear that Aaron is connected to his departed brother.

Aaron, Dustin and their father

Pat writes:
“On Wednesday, Feb. 26 of this year, my autistic son, Aaron, was supposed to go on a class trip to NYC on the train. He loves train rides and had been looking forward to it. For some unknown reason, that morning, he had a major meltdown on the train platform that caused the whole class to miss the train. He simply refused to get on the train.”

“A week later, the news of the virus in NYC hit the papers. When I read the story, I thought, “Dustin.” That train would have been crowded with commuters and the virus. I know it was Dustin protecting him and his classmates. There was really no other reason Aaron would suddenly have that meltdown right there and them.”

“Then, about a month later, I needed someone to help me out by taking Aaron out on some rides, down to the shore. I contacted Alexis who works for his day program to see if she would be willing, since my eyesight is not good on long drives. She loves Aaron and was happy to take him the next weekend.”

“Again, Aaron refused to go. He kept saying “No Alexis, No Alexis, With mommy.” I texted her and told her he wanted to be with mommy but I could not figure out why. He loves her. Interestingly, he did ask for Alexis to take him the following weekend on May 9 and May 10. When I texted her about it, she said she could not. She was feeling ill and her partner had the virus. Turns out, days later with some testing, she had it too.”

“I counted back from when Aaron had last been with her. It was 15 days. I did get him tested plus myself and we were both negative. Thank God. That weekend he kept saying “no Alexis” would have been a week before she got sick. She would have been contagious. Somehow, he knew. Dustin was protecting him.”

“And lastly, my hubby broke his hip on Jan.17. He went from being operated on to a rehab, back to the hospital three times, and back to rehab. He is not a good patient. He discharged himself against doctors order. The day before he came home, March 26, the rehab called me to tell me they had the virus breakout there. They assured me it was not in his area. The next day, March 27, he came home by ambulance against doctor’s orders. He is still home. Can’t walk with out a walker, he uses a wheel chair, can’t climb stairs or drive. Basically, he is house bound.”

“Besides being a big pain in my rear, I know he is safe. No virus. Normally, he would be driving around doing whatever. He does not watch what he touches or wear a mask. I know he would bring the virus home to me and Aaron. Dustin knows that too. I really think this was the only way Dustin knew how to keep him safe with the rest of us.”

Commentary- I asked Pat to write about Aaron, to show why Dustin’s protection of Aaron and his family is so very clear. In this commentary that Pat has written so well, it will become more obvious, than what I could comment on, why what Alexis wrote to Pat that, “Aaron knows” is true. It’s also important to note that people with some form of disability seem to have greater abilities than that of those who don’t.

Aaron, Dustin and their father

Pat writes:
“Aaron is severely autistic. He is 6′ 6″, 311 lbs. He has been classified mentally around age 5 or 6 years. He still believes in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and Sesame Street. He loves game shows and long rides in the car. He is basically non verbal but does talk in words… not complete sentences. He can read and write. He taught himself at age 2 by watching Sesame Street. When I can not understand him, he will write it down for me.”

“Aaron is very schedule prone. Everything must follow in order. He is very much like the Rain Man movie with Dustin Hoffman in it. When his schedule for the day gets interrupted, he will meltdown like a 2 year old. Aaron also will run if he sees something he likes. He is very fast. He will take off if he sees a tv in a store so that he can change the channel. He has taken off in blizzards because he wanted a Slurpee from 7 Eleven. If he needs a bathroom, he just runs. One minute he is behind you. The next he is gone. He has no fear of traffic or heights. He is very sweet basically. Like my big Baby Huey.”

“He also has a memory like none I know of. He remembers everything. Like this year, he refused to go on a trip to the Cape May Zoo. He said, “bumble bee.” Apparently, he was stung by a bee on a class trip on August 24 in 1999. He can give you dates, events and times that are important to him. Even down to the year they happened. He can also say the Alphabet backwards and knows every show on tv…what time, day and channel. He is a walking TV Guide.”

“I do remember the last day Alexis was with Aaron, she took him to her place. She went to the FaceBook wall and sent me some pics of Aaron and Dustin together that he had posted. I remember that she texted me… “Aaron Knows.” I thought to my self… “of course he does.” He remembers Dustin and all the places they went together.”

“I wonder if those images mentioned early in this post, were a way of reminding Aaron of Dustin. It was the following weekend he refused to go out with Alexis which was so strange. I wonder if Dustin told him not to go? I think so. Aaron was adamant about not going out with her. Flat out refused. I never saw him like that before. That was the weekend she was contagious but did not know yet she had the virus.”

Dustin

“Enter Dustin. The three of us always took day trips together. We have taken bus trips to the Bronx Zoo, NYC China Town, Philadelphia, PA Cobbler’s Village, boat rides, train rides etc. Mainly, the three of us because my hubby hates trips anywhere other than casinos. We also have gone to shows and plays. Dustin watched out for Aaron. If Aaron decided to run after something, he would grab Aaron and bring him back. He loved Aaron. In turn, Aaron would always hug him and pat his head. That is how he shows affection. It was Dustin and myself who chased him down the street in 3 feet of snow during a blizzard. Cops came, ambulance called and even then he jumped out of the ambulance. He wanted his Slurpee. No stores were open. I thank God that Dustin was always there to help.”

“When Dustin died in the car accident, Aaron seemed unaffected. He did see the obituary. He did go to the memorial. We all wondered how he would react. It was not until the first Thanksgiving without Dustin that I knew why. We went out to dinner at the same place we always did every year. This year there was three of us.The fourth chair at the table was empty. During the dinner, Aaron said “Dusty” and looked at the empty chair and then went back to eating. I knew he saw Dustin. I had a lot of signs from Dustin that evening, but this was the first time Aaron had said his name. Being childlike as Aaron is, he still sees his brother. The rest of us have been programmed into adulthood not to. He has mentioned Dusty a few times after also. I am sure Dustin is in contact with Aaron. There is no doubt about it.”

“I feel Dustin around me always. But Aaron has that special connection with his brother that only a child can have. He is extremely upset about this virus. His program is shut down, no events to go to and he is bored. I try to explain to him people die from this. We have to stay home. But how do I explain dying to someone who sees his brother and hears his brother talk to him. His brother is still here even though he died. So is that so bad?”

A Spirit’s Calling Card

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Many times our departed loved ones choose a particular way in which they show up to us, that is like a unique signature, so we will recognize them when they do.

Liz writes:
I was sitting on the end of the bed in our spare room and was looking at the recordings we had on our TV in there. I felt a cool draft which got even stronger. I noticed the ceiling fan had started up all by itself. As I looked up, my partner came upstairs, thankfully to witness it along with me.

The remote control that turns it on was on the bedside table at the other end of the bed, so clearly neither of us switched it on. Not sure if this is my Dad again, I’m forever asking for messages and signs, poor man!

Spirit Breezes

Commentary- When I sat down to write this commentary, I pondered if this was, indeed, Liz’s father making an appearance, like she wondered about. Almost immediately, I was reminded of another post in which something quite similar happened, as far as wind/air flow that I call “Spirit Breezes.”

Hundreds of posts have been written on the GriefandMourning.com site, but as I was looking back through some of them, I remembered, Unexplainable Wind Gust and I realized that it was also Liz’s post, as well.

When I realized this, I thought, “Of course, this was Liz’s father!” It’s funny, but it seems that some of our departed loved ones have favorite ways of informing us of their visit. It’s like a spirit’s calling card and seems to be somewhat of a unique signature, so we know it’s them.

However, it’s not that they can’t come to us in other ways, and… they sometimes do. It’s just that coming to us in a similar way each time, helps us to know with clarity that they are the one who has come to us with a message, to remind us of their love, and that they are still with us.

A message with a unique signature Credit: Pixabay

Stress and the Grief Process

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Understanding how stress plays a sizable part in the Grief Process and ways to decrease it to make grieving easier.

At one time or another, we’ve all experienced periods of intense stress in our lives. Some of these stressors might include: food, housing and job insecurity, political unrest, family issues, enduring abusive relationships, trouble with or losing a relationship, being in poor health or losing a loved one through death.

Unlike short bouts of stress involving just one or two stressors, trying to survive a world pandemic is a huge sustained stressor that includes many of these factors at the same time. Think of the ramifications of all this. There is nothing greater than trying to survive so much of this at once. Although it doesn’t make it any easier, the insane amount of stress you may be feeling is being felt by many, worldwide.

Who knows when it will end? How many more will this pandemic claim to itself? When will the consequences of it play out? Will we find our way through this in one piece? So many questions up in the air with so few answers. So much doubt and fear. So many feelings of helplessness. So many subtle, and even outright threats of violence, too. You can feel the deep rumble of fear and uncertainty. With emotions high, it can feel like we are living in a powder keg on the verge of a spark. We are really living through something quite extraordinary… and something so very serious.

Our lives have been changed forevermore. With all this rapid change coming at us, with so much loss, many of us will need to work our way through some version of a grief process – just to get to the other side of this darkness. We may already feel the tremendous weight of this now, if not later. The intense stress we may experience, added to our loss, has the capacity to make things even worse. You see, grief and stress have a lot in common.

Just a reminder that the grief process has several identifiable steps, depending on which version you read. To make it easy, I will go with the most tried and true steps. They don’t always go in order and some of them are more prominent than others.

shock, denial and disbelief
bargaining, feelings of helplessness
sadness and/or anxiousness
anger and/or rage
coming to terms with what’s so
acceptance

If you find yourself in the Grief Process, you might be experiencing one or more of these steps. That’s perfectly normal. How long it takes to heal, depends on how long it takes to get through the steps of the process, without trying to resist going through them. There is no set time frame. Every person is different. But, almost every one of these steps in the grief process, except the last two, happens to come along with a great amount of stress. Hence, it is possible to add even more stress on top of the already existing stress that naturally comes with grieving a loss, or several of them at the same time. Not surprisingly, feeling these human emotions can be extremely stressful. It’s no wonder at all why people try to deny feeling them in the first place. But… the only way out is through. So, a word to the wise… go through with as little resistance as possible.

Just remember a few simple things that everyone already knows, but forgets to use, especially when stressed.

Be kind to yourself and others. In times of crisis, it is common to see people either being their weakest self or their greatest self. The power comes with choosing which one you will be in any moment. Here’s a hint. Being your greatest self is more empowering and really makes a big difference in the world around you.
Remember to breathe. You hear it all the time as some sort of cliche, but breathing really does regulate stress levels and is such an easy thing to do. Do it by breathing deeply and it will relax your brain and body. It will give some temporary relief… at least until the next time you breathe deeply.
Look for ways to empower yourself. When it seems that things are going the wrong way, the human default is likely to feel victimized. However, no matter how bad it may be, feelings of helplessness and hopelessness are of no help. Instead of being on the defensive because something is happening to you, realize that it is happening to many of us. Be on the offensive and take control, wherever you can find ways to be helpful and move hope forward. It may be small, but you will not stay frozen and numb as you will be in motion.
Move your body. Take a walk, run or bike ride. Exercising your body is a great stress and anxiety reliever. Walk in place if you can’t go outside.
Feed your spirit. Meditate, pray or listen to/watch whatever will relax your brain and body. Make it something that will nurture, recharge and feed your spirit.
Practice gratitude. Appreciating what you do have is so much more powerful than focusing on what is missing. Experiencing the “glass half full” rather than the “glass half empty” is always more empowering.
Surrender to the process. The grief process is an amazing healing process that, if not resisted, has the ability to completely cleanse and mend. It is our brain’s natural process to follow so our brains can heal from the trauma and turmoil that has been inflicted. Not surrendering to what is in our best interest, which is our healing, creates even more stress than the stress that already exists. Surrendering to “what is” – IS NOT weak, it is smart, as we will get through our pain, way quicker, and… will heal much deeper.

In this world, there is no way to get around stressful situations, or the grief that contributes to them, as this is just a part of our human experience. As you go through your grief process, remember that – although painful, each of the steps can be very therapeutic, as going through many of these steps is so necessary for us to heal and be refreshed.

And remember, many people fall into a “stress trap.” If you didn’t get it the first time, a “stress trap” is when you keep adding stress on top of already existing stress. The simple exercises above can help greatly. You just have to do them.

There will be plenty of grief in the times ahead of us. We will not soon forget the pain and stress this pandemic has caused, but let’s do whatever we can to hold on, and however we can, get each other through this truly extraordinary challenging time. Hopefully, before to long, we will find ourselves out of this darkness and into the light of a new day.

GriefandMourning.com

Grief is itself a medicine

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