“50 Shade of Grief (Process)” shows the gradual evolution of the many emotional and mental states we have the possibility of passing through, as we travel on the road to grief recovery. Keep in mind, no two grievers are the same; some will visit all of these stops, while other grievers will experience just some.
Grieving is a very personal journey. It is also wise to mention, that although there is an order of emotional and mental states to experience, grief can happen in any order. What is common though, is that the first part of this chart is experienced before the last part of the chart.
In the end… this chart represents a successfully completed, grief recovery journey; starting from entering into the long tunnel of darkness… and exiting out the other end; into the light.
Blessings on your sacred journey. May you find peace and complete healing at the end of your tunnel.
(Dedicated to the memory of Christian who crossed over on, March 31, 2010, just six years ago today. We love and miss you dearly.)
In a series of after-death communications, Lucas visits his grieving mother in a variety of different ways – letting her know that her son is still around, being his usual self.
“I was reading an after-death communication article on your website; specifically physical phenomena. My son, Lucas, died in his bedroom on August 1st, 2015. He was 26 years old. Unfortunately, he died of a drug overdose – he supposedly bought heroin but it was fentanyl and procaine mixed together instead.”
“I was totally shocked when I read it on his cell phone in a text message, because he didn’t do heroin. His friends were shocked too. I guess he was really struggling. His girlfriend broke up with him in June. He became very depressed over that and started acting very strange in July. The doctor had put him on an anti-depressant called Paxil. I thought that was what was making him so strange. I don’t know if the Paxil gave him suicidal thoughts – he was only on it for a month.” Continue reading →
In the after-death communication and out-of-body experience, Cynthia receives a visit from Jordan, a former neighborhood boy who was shot and killed.
“One of the neighborhood kids, Jordan, was murdered in September of 2015. He was murdered just days after he came to visit us, and we had not seen him in years. He moved away when he was around 11 years old. When he came to visit he was 17. His murder was talked about on the news and while we were trying to piece the puzzle together to see if it was really him, we were shocked to find out it was!”
“I am not 100% on the details of his murder. I just know that he was shot hanging a round guys much older than him and who knows what they were doing? Growing up, his mom was a single working mom and he and his brother were pretty much raising themselves. They were mischievous kids and I am sure it transcended into their teen years also.” Continue reading →
In this after-death communication and out-of-body experience, Linda becomes a believer in the “afterlife” when her son, Erik, meets his mother in another dimension to reassure her of his continued love AND life.
“Let me first say that before I had this experience, I would not have believed it truly could happen. I had really never heard of such a thing before this.”
“My 24 year-old son, Erik, passed away over 2 years ago. Not long after he died, when my husband and I were deeply grieving, Erik came to me in a dream. I saw him standing there and held out my arms to him expecting him to disappear, but he didn’t! I told him I love him so much and hugged him. It felt like I was actuallyhugging him! There was a light around him as if he was standing in a soft spotlight. We talked for a short time, but unfortunately, I am not sure of our exact words, although it felt comforting, I do remember that as we were talking, I was rubbing my thumb softly against his cheek and I still remember the sensation of it. He then said he had to go. Before he disappeared, I asked him if it was nice where he was. He smiled a little smile, as if he knew something I didn’t, and said, “Yes, it’s nice. It’s very nice.” Then the dream was over.”
In this after-death communication and out-of-body experience, a grieved mother is reunited with her son. As he held his mother, his message to her? ” I love you too, Mama. Don’t worry. Everything is okay.”
Brian and his pal, Bubba Red
“In the beginning when I would dream of Brian, I would not be aware that he had died. I’m not sure when this changed, but now, even while dreaming I am aware that he has died.”
“Most of my dreams of Brian are of watching him at some stage of his life. There is no spoken communication or physical touching, just eye contact. I have repeatedly asked to have a dream where I can hug him and talk to him. Well, my prayers were answered a couple of weeks ago. I had the most vivid dream that I have had since he died.”
This is the dream (communication)-
“I drove into the parking lot of his best friend’s restaurant. As I parked my car, I could see Brian through the window tending bar. I got out of my car and ran into the restaurant. I could see him running around the bar to meet me. As I was approaching him, I remember thinking that this would be a regular dream and as soon as I got close to him he would disappear. That did not happen! I grabbed him and hugged him. (I can still feel it.) I said, “Honey, I miss you so much! Do you know how much I love you? Do you know how special our lives are because of you?“ He said, “ I love you too, mama. Don’t worry. Everything is okay.” Continue reading →
Rebecca receives an after-death communication from her son, Kenny, after a long time of waiting for one. His message to her? “Life’s going to be alright!”
“It’s been a long while since I’ve dreamt of Ken, other than him being a part of my dream in the background and such. No dreams as of late where I’ve spoken directly to him. The other night, I actually was staring at a candle and asked him to please come in my dreams.”
“Voila! I dreamt that my family was on a plane- the entire family, including Kenny’s dad, his wife and their daughter. We had made it to Nepal and we were traveling to a resort destination. Suddenly, the military police were on the plane and found pot on the pilot so they demanded us to land. We landed in a jungle area and there were a lot of men carrying guns and yelling at us to get on a bus – that the plane would be leaving and we had to travel by bus. They were shouting in English and a different language also. I remember feeling as if I was going to do the wrong thing and being very protective of Nate and Kayla. I didn’t want us to get shot. As we all sat in our seats on the bus, I watched the plane take off and followed it until it was high up in the sky. All of a sudden, I saw the plane pause and start spiraling down and crash into a shopping mall. The gunmen started to laugh at us ‘americans’ and told us that we were lucky to have gotten off the plane before the ‘terrorist attack.” Continue reading →
In these visual after-death communications, Bridgette captures some images which let her know that her beloved mother and son, still live on in another plane.
Lady and Man
Bridgette experiences after-death communications on a regular basis since her son, Durell, crossed over on January 26th, 2015, which was a year ago to the day of this post. Armed with her dogs, Man and Lady, her camera and her extraordinary faith and awareness, Bridgette manages to catch images in the successful attempt to connect with those from beyond.
“I start filming when I feel Durell here, or when my dogs are looking hard watching something I can’t see. A couple of weeks after Durell passed, I had a really rough weekend. I sobbed hard for 3 solid days. That Sunday afternoon, my friend, Leslie, (who is the mother of Gian, the 7 year old I told you about that has seen my son several times), told me that she had a dream the night before. In the dream, Durell appeared to Leslie, who is Spanish and doesn’t speak fluent English. When reporting the dream to Bridgette, Leslie said, “Bridgette. Me dream of your baby. He no say nothing. He only smile. Me think he wants me to tell you stop crying.”Continue reading →
In this after-death communication, a mother thinks she has received a cruel phone text about her little boy who passed nearly 13 years prior, only to find out this was him, reaching out and letting her know he remembers her and is still with her.
Sharri writes to me:
“My friend and roommate came into my room this morning and tossed her phone to me and she was, to say the least, upset. I looked and she had a text message from a number that we found to be a google account and it said, “Hello Mom.” You see, her son who was born on June 27, 1999 died tragically April 4, 2003, at the age of 4, in her arms. She has no other children.”
“We have called this number and texted it back and nothing. It’s just a voicemail saying,
“This google voice customer cannot be reached at this time. Please leave
message”… This number the message came from is (xxx) 347-9983. Please
help us. She needs answers.” Continue reading →
In this heart-wrenching post, Rebecca answers this unthinkable question, What is it like to lose a child? After having him for 23 years, Rebecca lost Kenny on July 6, 2012. She has been working through her grief ever since. One day last summer, she found the website, Quora, and saw, of all questions in front of her… this one. There it was… Rebecca’s invitation to share her most private and deepest thoughts and feelings with all the world.
Quora asks: What is it like to lose a child?
Rebecca’s reply: “This is a tough question to answer as it brings all the pain I try to push back (he’s just on a long vacation; he’s busy with work, etc., AKA denial) with as much force as I can muster, until I’m lying in bed alone with my thoughts, trying to hold on to every detail I can about him. The fear of forgetting his voice one day drives me insane.”
Oh no. Here it comes! A holiday without them. How do I deal with that?
Holidays are supposed to be joyful; a time to gather together with loved ones to share thanks and exchange gifts of love. But what happens when the upcoming holiday only serves to remind us that someone we love is sadly missing? It’s difficult to cope. If it’s the first year we might wonder, “How different is this year going to be. How much pain am I going to feel?”
Although it might seem strange, including your loved one in your holidays can be a great way to deal head-on with the fact that things have changed. Perhaps a new tradition or ritual can be introduced, making the upcoming holiday special. For example, you might create a special program that includes all of your loved ones, including the one who is not physically present. It is a great way to deal and heal the pain of the change of losing them. This can also include a family pet. Continue reading →
With a full heart and exhausted body, I recently returned home from my ten-year anniversary trip to the Black Rock desert, where over 60,000 people from all over the world made their pilgrimage this year to be “welcomed home” to Black Rock City. Grateful was I because of the love, beauty and transformation I experienced there. Exhausted, because I didn’t want to close my eyes for one second, for fear I might have missed something completely amazing.
Burning Man… a dusty desert and magical land of radical self-expression, self-reliance and inclusiveness is where I sojourned for eight days of unbelievable adventure. Within this amazing city, the pouring out of love could be witnessed almost everywhere as fun-loving citizens contributed their time, talents, wisdom and creativity to the mix. The results? An experience of synchronistic magic, miracles and fun, where wide-eyed participants ventured off onto the playa with all the innocence of little children. Continue reading →
“I didn’t see that coming” is a common phrase said by someone who has been completely blind-sided by the unexpected, in this case, the unanticipated loss of something cherished. It is the mental, psychological and emotional energy created from this loss that forcefully thrusts us into a tailspin of thoughts and emotions we would rather not think and feel!
As humans, we operate as though life is predicable, never thinking that at any moment there could be a huge interruption in it that informs us otherwise. But, what’s really so is this; life is made up of a series of many random events that we have very little conscious control over. Sometimes we go for long periods of time without one unpleasant experience, then… something happens… and maybe we experience a long string of them. Continue reading →
I heard the shocking news last week; Randy, a long-time friend of mine had suffered a fatal heart attack. Grateful that a mutual friend remembered to notify me, I was able to attend the “life celebration” held in his honor.
As I listened to the sentimental stories people shared from the microphone, I couldn’t help but hear the other side of this, and how much his physical presence would be missed in the every day lives of others, especially, those closest to him. Continue reading →
What is Grief?
Grief is the normal and natural reaction to loss. The grieving process may be set into motion anytime one experiences any form of loss, whether it seems significant or not.
This grief reaction can range from the loss of an item to the loss of a dream, the death of a bad relationship to the death of a great relationship. One may grieve a person they loved and knew well, while another may grieve someone they never met. Celebrity deaths, missing children and abductee deaths, featured on the news, are examples of this. Some people, who seem depressed in life, may actually be grieving the current condition of our world and planet. Continue reading →
Grief is a normal response to a painful loss. Made up of many emotional states, the grief process is the inward journey we must take if we are to heal the pain associated with our loss.
Although this article is geared toward grief over the death of a loved one, the grief cycle is relevant for any loss. The grief process provides a natural way for us to recover from our loss and move forward.
Generally the grief cycle includes: shock and denial, bargaining, pain, anger, depression and finally, acceptance. However, depending on the individual and the circumstances involved, navigating this terrain can be much more complicated. Continue reading →