“Aaron Knows”

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It’s noted that people with a disability have greater spiritual abilities than those who don’t. It’s clear that Aaron is connected to his departed brother.

Aaron, Dustin and their father

Pat writes:
“On Wednesday, Feb. 26 of this year, my autistic son, Aaron, was supposed to go on a class trip to NYC on the train. He loves train rides and had been looking forward to it. For some unknown reason, that morning, he had a major meltdown on the train platform that caused the whole class to miss the train. He simply refused to get on the train.”

“A week later, the news of the virus in NYC hit the papers. When I read the story, I thought, “Dustin.” That train would have been crowded with commuters and the virus. I know it was Dustin protecting him and his classmates. There was really no other reason Aaron would suddenly have that meltdown right there and them.”

“Then, about a month later, I needed someone to help me out by taking Aaron out on some rides, down to the shore. I contacted Alexis who works for his day program to see if she would be willing, since my eyesight is not good on long drives. She loves Aaron and was happy to take him the next weekend.”

“Again, Aaron refused to go. He kept saying “No Alexis, No Alexis, With mommy.” I texted her and told her he wanted to be with mommy but I could not figure out why. He loves her. Interestingly, he did ask for Alexis to take him the following weekend on May 9 and May 10. When I texted her about it, she said she could not. She was feeling ill and her partner had the virus. Turns out, days later with some testing, she had it too.”

“I counted back from when Aaron had last been with her. It was 15 days. I did get him tested plus myself and we were both negative. Thank God. That weekend he kept saying “no Alexis” would have been a week before she got sick. She would have been contagious. Somehow, he knew. Dustin was protecting him.”

“And lastly, my hubby broke his hip on Jan.17. He went from being operated on to a rehab, back to the hospital three times, and back to rehab. He is not a good patient. He discharged himself against doctors order. The day before he came home, March 26, the rehab called me to tell me they had the virus breakout there. They assured me it was not in his area. The next day, March 27, he came home by ambulance against doctor’s orders. He is still home. Can’t walk with out a walker, he uses a wheel chair, can’t climb stairs or drive. Basically, he is house bound.”

“Besides being a big pain in my rear, I know he is safe. No virus. Normally, he would be driving around doing whatever. He does not watch what he touches or wear a mask. I know he would bring the virus home to me and Aaron. Dustin knows that too. I really think this was the only way Dustin knew how to keep him safe with the rest of us.”

Commentary- I asked Pat to write about Aaron, to show why Dustin’s protection of Aaron and his family is so very clear. In this commentary that Pat has written so well, it will become more obvious, than what I could comment on, why what Alexis wrote to Pat that, “Aaron knows” is true. It’s also important to note that people with some form of disability seem to have greater abilities than that of those who don’t.

Aaron, Dustin and their father

Pat writes:
“Aaron is severely autistic. He is 6′ 6″, 311 lbs. He has been classified mentally around age 5 or 6 years. He still believes in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and Sesame Street. He loves game shows and long rides in the car. He is basically non verbal but does talk in words… not complete sentences. He can read and write. He taught himself at age 2 by watching Sesame Street. When I can not understand him, he will write it down for me.”

“Aaron is very schedule prone. Everything must follow in order. He is very much like the Rain Man movie with Dustin Hoffman in it. When his schedule for the day gets interrupted, he will meltdown like a 2 year old. Aaron also will run if he sees something he likes. He is very fast. He will take off if he sees a tv in a store so that he can change the channel. He has taken off in blizzards because he wanted a Slurpee from 7 Eleven. If he needs a bathroom, he just runs. One minute he is behind you. The next he is gone. He has no fear of traffic or heights. He is very sweet basically. Like my big Baby Huey.”

“He also has a memory like none I know of. He remembers everything. Like this year, he refused to go on a trip to the Cape May Zoo. He said, “bumble bee.” Apparently, he was stung by a bee on a class trip on August 24 in 1999. He can give you dates, events and times that are important to him. Even down to the year they happened. He can also say the Alphabet backwards and knows every show on tv…what time, day and channel. He is a walking TV Guide.”

“I do remember the last day Alexis was with Aaron, she took him to her place. She went to the FaceBook wall and sent me some pics of Aaron and Dustin together that he had posted. I remember that she texted me… “Aaron Knows.” I thought to my self… “of course he does.” He remembers Dustin and all the places they went together.”

“I wonder if those images mentioned early in this post, were a way of reminding Aaron of Dustin. It was the following weekend he refused to go out with Alexis which was so strange. I wonder if Dustin told him not to go? I think so. Aaron was adamant about not going out with her. Flat out refused. I never saw him like that before. That was the weekend she was contagious but did not know yet she had the virus.”

Dustin

“Enter Dustin. The three of us always took day trips together. We have taken bus trips to the Bronx Zoo, NYC China Town, Philadelphia, PA Cobbler’s Village, boat rides, train rides etc. Mainly, the three of us because my hubby hates trips anywhere other than casinos. We also have gone to shows and plays. Dustin watched out for Aaron. If Aaron decided to run after something, he would grab Aaron and bring him back. He loved Aaron. In turn, Aaron would always hug him and pat his head. That is how he shows affection. It was Dustin and myself who chased him down the street in 3 feet of snow during a blizzard. Cops came, ambulance called and even then he jumped out of the ambulance. He wanted his Slurpee. No stores were open. I thank God that Dustin was always there to help.”

“When Dustin died in the car accident, Aaron seemed unaffected. He did see the obituary. He did go to the memorial. We all wondered how he would react. It was not until the first Thanksgiving without Dustin that I knew why. We went out to dinner at the same place we always did every year. This year there was three of us.The fourth chair at the table was empty. During the dinner, Aaron said “Dusty” and looked at the empty chair and then went back to eating. I knew he saw Dustin. I had a lot of signs from Dustin that evening, but this was the first time Aaron had said his name. Being childlike as Aaron is, he still sees his brother. The rest of us have been programmed into adulthood not to. He has mentioned Dusty a few times after also. I am sure Dustin is in contact with Aaron. There is no doubt about it.”

“I feel Dustin around me always. But Aaron has that special connection with his brother that only a child can have. He is extremely upset about this virus. His program is shut down, no events to go to and he is bored. I try to explain to him people die from this. We have to stay home. But how do I explain dying to someone who sees his brother and hears his brother talk to him. His brother is still here even though he died. So is that so bad?”

A Spirit’s Calling Card

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Many times our departed loved ones choose a particular way in which they show up to us, that is like a unique signature, so we will recognize them when they do.

Liz writes:
I was sitting on the end of the bed in our spare room and was looking at the recordings we had on our TV in there. I felt a cool draft which got even stronger. I noticed the ceiling fan had started up all by itself. As I looked up, my partner came upstairs, thankfully to witness it along with me.

The remote control that turns it on was on the bedside table at the other end of the bed, so clearly neither of us switched it on. Not sure if this is my Dad again, I’m forever asking for messages and signs, poor man!

Spirit Breezes

Commentary- When I sat down to write this commentary, I pondered if this was, indeed, Liz’s father making an appearance, like she wondered about. Almost immediately, I was reminded of another post in which something quite similar happened, as far as wind/air flow that I call “Spirit Breezes.”

Hundreds of posts have been written on the GriefandMourning.com site, but as I was looking back through some of them, I remembered, Unexplainable Wind Gust and I realized that it was also Liz’s post, as well.

When I realized this, I thought, “Of course, this was Liz’s father!” It’s funny, but it seems that some of our departed loved ones have favorite ways of informing us of their visit. It’s like a spirit’s calling card and seems to be somewhat of a unique signature, so we know it’s them.

However, it’s not that they can’t come to us in other ways, and… they sometimes do. It’s just that coming to us in a similar way each time, helps us to know with clarity that they are the one who has come to us with a message, to remind us of their love, and that they are still with us.

A message with a unique signature Credit: Pixabay

Stress and the Grief Process

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Understanding how stress plays a sizable part in the Grief Process and ways to decrease it to make grieving easier.

At one time or another, we’ve all experienced periods of intense stress in our lives. Some of these stressors might include: food, housing and job insecurity, political unrest, family issues, enduring abusive relationships, trouble with or losing a relationship, being in poor health or losing a loved one through death.

Unlike short bouts of stress involving just one or two stressors, trying to survive a world pandemic is a huge sustained stressor that includes many of these factors at the same time. Think of the ramifications of all this. There is nothing greater than trying to survive so much of this at once. Although it doesn’t make it any easier, the insane amount of stress you may be feeling is being felt by many, worldwide.

Who knows when it will end? How many more will this pandemic claim to itself? When will the consequences of it play out? Will we find our way through this in one piece? So many questions up in the air with so few answers. So much doubt and fear. So many feelings of helplessness. So many subtle, and even outright threats of violence, too. You can feel the deep rumble of fear and uncertainty. With emotions high, it can feel like we are living in a powder keg on the verge of a spark. We are really living through something quite extraordinary… and something so very serious.

Our lives have been changed forevermore. With all this rapid change coming at us, with so much loss, many of us will need to work our way through some version of a grief process – just to get to the other side of this darkness. We may already feel the tremendous weight of this now, if not later. The intense stress we may experience, added to our loss, has the capacity to make things even worse. You see, grief and stress have a lot in common.

Just a reminder that the grief process has several identifiable steps, depending on which version you read. To make it easy, I will go with the most tried and true steps. They don’t always go in order and some of them are more prominent than others.

shock, denial and disbelief
bargaining, feelings of helplessness
sadness and/or anxiousness
anger and/or rage
coming to terms with what’s so
acceptance

If you find yourself in the Grief Process, you might be experiencing one or more of these steps. That’s perfectly normal. How long it takes to heal, depends on how long it takes to get through the steps of the process, without trying to resist going through them. There is no set time frame. Every person is different. But, almost every one of these steps in the grief process, except the last two, happens to come along with a great amount of stress. Hence, it is possible to add even more stress on top of the already existing stress that naturally comes with grieving a loss, or several of them at the same time. Not surprisingly, feeling these human emotions can be extremely stressful. It’s no wonder at all why people try to deny feeling them in the first place. But… the only way out is through. So, a word to the wise… go through with as little resistance as possible.

Just remember a few simple things that everyone already knows, but forgets to use, especially when stressed.

Be kind to yourself and others. In times of crisis, it is common to see people either being their weakest self or their greatest self. The power comes with choosing which one you will be in any moment. Here’s a hint. Being your greatest self is more empowering and really makes a big difference in the world around you.
Remember to breathe. You hear it all the time as some sort of cliche, but breathing really does regulate stress levels and is such an easy thing to do. Do it by breathing deeply and it will relax your brain and body. It will give some temporary relief… at least until the next time you breathe deeply.
Look for ways to empower yourself. When it seems that things are going the wrong way, the human default is likely to feel victimized. However, no matter how bad it may be, feelings of helplessness and hopelessness are of no help. Instead of being on the defensive because something is happening to you, realize that it is happening to many of us. Be on the offensive and take control, wherever you can find ways to be helpful and move hope forward. It may be small, but you will not stay frozen and numb as you will be in motion.
Move your body. Take a walk, run or bike ride. Exercising your body is a great stress and anxiety reliever. Walk in place if you can’t go outside.
Feed your spirit. Meditate, pray or listen to/watch whatever will relax your brain and body. Make it something that will nurture, recharge and feed your spirit.
Practice gratitude. Appreciating what you do have is so much more powerful than focusing on what is missing. Experiencing the “glass half full” rather than the “glass half empty” is always more empowering.
Surrender to the process. The grief process is an amazing healing process that, if not resisted, has the ability to completely cleanse and mend. It is our brain’s natural process to follow so our brains can heal from the trauma and turmoil that has been inflicted. Not surrendering to what is in our best interest, which is our healing, creates even more stress than the stress that already exists. Surrendering to “what is” – IS NOT weak, it is smart, as we will get through our pain, way quicker, and… will heal much deeper.

In this world, there is no way to get around stressful situations, or the grief that contributes to them, as this is just a part of our human experience. As you go through your grief process, remember that – although painful, each of the steps can be very therapeutic, as going through many of these steps is so necessary for us to heal and be refreshed.

And remember, many people fall into a “stress trap.” If you didn’t get it the first time, a “stress trap” is when you keep adding stress on top of already existing stress. The simple exercises above can help greatly. You just have to do them.

There will be plenty of grief in the times ahead of us. We will not soon forget the pain and stress this pandemic has caused, but let’s do whatever we can to hold on, and however we can, get each other through this truly extraordinary challenging time. Hopefully, before to long, we will find ourselves out of this darkness and into the light of a new day.

A Non-Believer’s Experience

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As a hardcore non-believer in an afterlife, with his wife’s passing, Jayson’s mind is quickly changed to show him it exists.

Jayson writes:
“I was possibly the most skeptical person you could find when it came to this kind of stuff. Seriously, didn’t buy any of it. If your dead, your dead. That was it for me.”

“I won’t go into the details but, my wife, mother of my 4 children passed away 3 years ago. 7 days after her death a single Lily grew in our backyard under the tree. This was her favorite flower.”

“We had never planted lilies or really even ventured back to that part of the yard. There is a bit of a steep slope under the tree so, it was hard to get to. But, there it grew. One lone lily. And from that day on, I knew. I knew there was more to this whole thing. It gave such a sense of relief that she was okay and onto greener pastures. (No pun intended).”

“That’s my story. I now know that death is not the end. Quite possibly the beginning. I’m not arrogant enough to claim I know anything more than what I’ve seen and felt. But I can assure you….This isn’t it.”

Commentary- Occasionally, a non-believer will write to genuinely ask me how I know that all this afterlife stuff is real. It’s a really easy question to answer.

In so many words, Jayson said it perfectly with the sharing of his own after-death experience. Basically, you don’t know anything about this spiritual stuff until the moment that you do. When you have a personal “beyond this world” experience that is undeniable, there is no longer any question to entertain. Even if you can’t understand it, like Jayson, when it happens, you know first-hand that this afterlife stuff is real… and you can never go back.

So hang in there non-believers who want to believe. Just one moment can change everything in an instant.

Visiting A Departed Loved One

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Receiving an after-death communication from a departed loved one is an out-of-this-world experience. What if it were possible for us to visit them, as well?

Christian

It’s been 10 years since that tragic day of Christian‘s passing. It happened on March 31, 2010. With the ambulance on its way, Christian struggled for his life. In the end, it wasn’t meant to be.

Those were some of the darkest days I’ve ever experienced. For sure, there were some dark years to follow. I don’t know if I could have ever survived that great loss had he not visited me so much from the afterlife. It was with dreams, visions, and the other forms of communication, as well as some things he left behind for me, that he taught me so much about life and the afterlife. I learned that it’s really all just one big thing. An example of this is the Yin/Yang symbol. Each side of black and white look so different when really they are both sides to the same whole. For his teachings I am eternally grateful to him for his comfort and illumination.

The other day as I was going through older posts I had written, I ran across a beautiful experience that I had written about visiting Christian, after his death. For reference, the post is, Never Far From Home. The very next morning of remembering this amazing experience, I woke up from another “dream” of the same exact variety. This made me realize- even more so, that as our departed loved ones sometimes visit us with a sign or after-death communication, it is possible for us, on a spiritual level, to venture off to visit them in their world, too. Although mostly, it is quite accidental that we make this discovery.

It just so happened that during that same time frame, a man wrote to me, puzzled and somewhat disappointed as to why, when he was so happy to see his beloved wife while lucid dreaming, she did not notice him at all. That subject does not come up much. It is probably because when it happens, people just think it was some sort of a meaningless, but cruel dream. People may also take it as though their departed loved one is ignoring them, because they are mad or disappointed, when they are not. This kind of thing can bring up insecurity in the bereaved, creating even more pain from their loss.

As I was wondering what to share to honor Christian’s 10 year anniversary of passing, with my recent realization, as well as this man’s question, I realized that the sharing of this subject of us visiting our departed loved ones and the illumination of it, was the right thing to post.

I chose this recent dream of mine to translate, as I saw that it plainly laid out some important steps in the mechanics of how these visitations with our loved ones, take place. After looking deeper into what, at first look, seemed like a hodgepodge dream that could have easily been dismissed, in it, I found some real gems of insight, hopefully important enough to shed some light.

In my dream, I went into the garage to get some air. The garage door was open and it was dark out there beyond my garage door to the outside world. To my right, I noticed there was a reflection on the window of a vehicle that was parked there in the garage. At first, it didn’t make sense as there was no light source to make that possible.

As I turned to focus on what was causing the light reflection, I saw it was Christian. It was like watching him on a television. He never looked at me once. He didn’t even know that I was there. I saw him from the side view. The image was mostly full length. He looked very happy and occupied with something that gave him great pleasure. Then, I slowly woke up as I transitioned back into my physical daytime world.

Now, about visiting our departed loved ones. I will repeat the dream again, breaking it down, but with the symbolic translation this time, as well as, some steps to be aware of to recognize this phenomenon when it does happen.

In my dream, I went into the garage to get some air.
Translation: I needed a new perspective, so I went outside my home (my body) to accomplish this. My spirit did not go far from my body when this happened as I stayed within the garage. Wanting to get some air is also wanting to get a fresh breath of new perspective, as this is considered vital to a healthy functioning life.
Steps: Open to new perspectives. Willingness to see them. Considering perspective to be vital, healthy and important to understanding others, self and the life/afterlife in which we live.

The garage door was open and it was dark out there beyond my garage door to the outside world.
Translation: My mind was open and I was available to be shown something just outside what many call, “The box.” The darkness represents the unknown. I was okay with going into the unknown or “out of the box” to be shown something new. The outside world to me represents “God” territory.
Steps: Again. Having an open mind. Willing to be vulnerable and teachable. Wanting to know something and being willing to let go enough to know. Being aware of the fact that we don’t know everything, in fact, we know very little in relation to what is there. Trusting the process and that in the end, what is called “God” is the only knower of everything and will enlighten us.

To my right, I noticed there was a reflection on the window of a vehicle as it was parked there in the garage. At first, it didn’t make sense as there was no light source to make that possible.
Translation: At first, here is my brain trying to make sense of something it considers to be illogical, as this did not seem to follow the laws of the physical world. However, through time, my brain has gotten used to the fact that it doesn’t always understand many of the spiritual events of my life. My brain knows that much of the knowledge of spiritual events exist beyond it’s reach of understanding. My brain does not see this as a threat. In this case, my brain quickly realized that the light source was one of a spiritual nature, and unthreatened, sat back to marvel at what it saw.
Steps: Be open to spiritual events. Be open to possibilities that seem to be impossible for the brain to consider. The brain can’t explain everything and that’s okay. It doesn’t have to in order for one to have spiritual experiences.

As I turned to focus on what was causing the light reflection, I saw it was Christian. It was like watching him on a television.
Translation: The television in the glass window of the vehicle was a portal, a window through time/no time, just like the window I also watched him through in my post, Never Far From Home. That window just manifested itself a little differently, but it was a portal nonetheless. Windows and openings to view through or enter are usually spiritual portals. I saw into this portal with my spiritual eyes since the event happened with my physical eyes closed while in a lucid dream.
Steps: Be willing to see what’s there. Some people are afraid to look. Open your eyes enough that your spiritual eyes will open up, too. If there is fear, change it into excitement. If there is cynicism and doubt, transform that into wonder. Being a spiritual explorer means visiting new spiritual dimensions with enthusiasm and awe.

Christian never looked at me. He didn’t even know that I was there. Though I saw him from the side view, mainly, his image was mostly full and actual length.
Translation: If you really think about the logistic of this, this would have actually been impossible in the physical reality, given the full length size of Christian (6’3″), and the smaller size of even the largest car window (2 feet, tops). He was actual size in the window, but the window of the vehicle was quite a bit smaller. These are examples of unexplained space distortions that are also an indication of occurring spiritual events.
Also, the fact that he didn’t look at me is clear. He didn’t see me.
Steps: Spiritual phenomena may seem strange to some. For sure, it is foreign to many of us in this physical existence. Because of this, it is important to adjust your personal/worldview perspective to be able to adapt. Learning to recognize spiritual experiences is kind of like learning a new language, or better said… remembering it. It’s like blurring your eyes to bring something else into focus. It’s like tuning in to the background of life; all the subtleties It’s about nuance, too. It’s about allowing the self as you know it to expand and become limitless.

He looked very happy and occupied with something that gave him great pleasure. Then, I woke up.
Translation: Although he didn’t see me, I got to see him. He was happy and busy doing something he loved. He is fine.
Steps: Be open to the possibility of seeing them, as well as, the other way around. We are really never far away from those we love.
Keep a dream journal at your bedside and record your dreams before they fade away. There is a lot of information contained for you in those dreams. You can always translate the contents later if you don’t have the chance to do it right away, but it’s really difficult to recall the dream of your departed loved one as you get even moments farther from it.

Sometimes we have dreams of our loved ones who have passed. We are hopeful when we do, but when they don’t turn to acknowledge us, it can cause some emotional pain. Like, how cruel to finally get to see our loved one and they don’t even see us. We often discount the experience as just a dream without ever realizing that when they visit us… many times we don’t turn to acknowledge them, either. This is just what happens. Sometimes we don’t meet up at the right times, but we do visit one another to some degree, and sometimes when we do meet up, it’s because together again, we’ve aligned for that single moment in time… until we align for good, in the next realm together forever.

Stonehenge Alignment Image:Pixabay

Rising To The Occasion Amid Covid-19

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COVID-19 covers the face of the Planet now, but we are in this together. Even with our hardships, let’s commit to rise to the occasion. If so… we got this!

Coronavirus Image: Pixabay

An apocalypse of sorts is revealed as a new and threatening virus is made known to all. A virus that is quickly spreading over the face of the planet. Just an innocent microorganism, doing what microorganisms do- in this case, a virus just trying to survive by finding hosts that will allow itself to spread from one person to another. Except… this microorganism has the potential to be deadly to us, as it infects its human hosts for proliferation. Unfortunately, this pathogen creates a tremendous threat on humankind, that may inevitably, to some degree, cause a restart on humanity at large, or at least, our way of life.

Although many saw it coming from a distance, as it approaches ever closer, we now know it’s real. Many public places are shutting their doors. Sheltering in place, people are hunkering down for the long term. Our life is changing. Our habits will do the same. There will be a lot of adjustments to make as we deal with the perpetual cabin fever that is sure to come, as the weather improves. But that’s just the little stuff.

Fear is spreading, too. Many are imagining the worst. The food is off grocery store shelves. The medical staff desperately needs supplies and equipment. The gun stores are crowded. People are clamoring for real answers to real questions. These thoughts have caused panic among some, creating great distress. “What about work?” “How will we pay for this, that and the other?” “Where did our 401K go?” “Will those on the street find shelter, food and care?” “Will we get sick?” “Will we survive?” There is a lot to consider here. And, as organisms ourselves, who are programmed for survival, it is natural that we would find ourselves confronted with the dark thoughts of our own mortality.

Coronavirus Image: Pixabay

Although it might become as bad as we think, and although it’s difficult not to, it does no good to worry and fret. It is what it is. It will be what it will be. For much of it, the dye has been cast. With all the chaos… with all the fear going around about who will live and who will fall prey to this invisible force, will humankind rise to the occasion?

What I really mean is, will we as imperfect human beings rise to the occasion of greatness without having to die first? Will we rise up from our mortal to our immortal heavenly selves to see from a higher perspective and evolve ourselves into greater beings?

Our lives will change as we know them. There will be stuff we don’t like. There will be tragedies, too. But, because of our forced shift in perspective, we will discover new ways of living, important breakthroughs will be made, technology will increase, new creations will be conceived, children too, and new ways of being will give us an opportunity to be greater than we ever thought ourselves to be. This moment will truly define us, individually and collectively, as we are asked to evolve as humans.

As the alarm bells go off, it’s like we are awakening to this new reality that is directly speaking to us, as if to say, “Wake up! Pay attention! Look at who you are being in the whole mix of things. Is this who you are choosing to be? Is this how you choose to live. Many are rethinking their priorities.

I’m just saying, since we are also organisms just trying to survive, as intelligent organisms, we can make a choice. Let’s reach out to others, in the non-physical ways, of course, in ways that can help. You know, we could choose to be part of the solution in solving this devastating problem for humankind. Here are some thoughts. Choosing…

Positivity over negativity.

Faith over fear.

Love over hatred.

Kindness over cruelty.

Grace over disgrace.

Adaptability over rigidity.

Compassion over indifference.

Calmness and centeredness over panic.

Service and selflessness over selfishness.

Patience over frustration

Bravery over cowardice.

Encouragement over despair.

Inspiration over resignation.

Making a difference in the world over making no difference at all.

Many of us might not be out on the front lines, but adopting these qualities in ourselves would work to hold space for the world at large, as it fights a war against an invisible enemy. It’s also a good practice to adopt, thereby evolving ourselves to be far greater beings.

Like the 5.7 magnitude earthquake we recently had in Utah, that scared us all when the land furiously shifted, I realize that we, humanity as a whole, are experiencing a shift, as well. However bad this gets, it is also an important opportunity and test for us to band together as a whole and to do what we can to make a difference.

Will we rise to the occasion individually? Will we rise collectively? Will we make that shift? It’s up to us. Resignation or inspiration? Rising to the occasion requires us to rise up from our everyday, default selves to our inspirational (in spirit) heavenly selves. Doesn’t that part sound amazing?

My prayers go out to those suffering from COVID-19 at this time. May you have a speedy recovery.

My condolences to those whose loved one has now or is about to pass away. May you be comforted in your sorrow. May their light assist our planet from beyond.

A shout out of gratitude to all those brave humans who are now on the front lines in this unexpected war; all medical staff, first responders, law officials, helpful and engaged policy officials, grocery store workers, transportation workers, truck drivers and warehouse/delivery workers, to name a few. Thank you!

A shout out to teachers, childcare workers, workers in online communication and technology, media, musicians, curbside restaurants workers and all workers, essential and otherwise, that I have missed listing, but will be more clearly realized and recognized as we go through this challenging time. They are heroes, in my book. All of who are an important part of the solution. Thank you!

Covid-19 Covers the Planet

One day, when this virus finally loses its power, we will eventually mourn and heal our losses; our loved ones who have succumb to the virus. We will realize how much the circumstances of our lives have changed, and maybe, cry about that, too. But we are not alone in this. Like it or not, the whole world IS our family and we are all in this together. Let’s rise to the occasion and do it with greatness. Now that we are paying attention… let us have a new appreciation for the wonder of our world and people in it and maybe the reset can be one of love and kindness. Let us be as Heaven is. Rising to the occasion is about bringing Heaven to Earth. This is my hope and prayer.

Stay well and be safe, kind, adaptable, compassionate… and all that was previously mentioned. Together we got this!
with love,
jade

Understanding Shared-Death Phenomena

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Experiencing a spiritual phenomenon is amazing but can occur as jarring, as it calls the true nature of reality into question. Trust your spiritual senses.

Jay writes:
“It was January 1985. My mother, Ethel, was feeling very weak. She visited her doctor who said her heartbeat had become irregular and that she should be admitted to Maimonides Hospital in Brooklyn, New York, ASAP.”

“At the hospital, the doctor said that she needed a pacemaker. After receiving the pacemaker, she seemed well. They said they wanted to monitor her for a day or two before releasing her.”

“However, the second night she was in the hospital, I received a call from one of the doctors at about 3 AM, saying she had had a difficult night and was not doing well. They recommended that I come to the hospital immediately.”

“When I got to her room, one of the doctors said they almost lost her earlier but she was doing better. I went to her bedside. She was on a ventilator and seemed in distress. Because she was on a ventilator, she could not speak to me. She was in and out of consciousness but clearly upset when awake.”

“An alarm went off and the doctor and a nurse went to my mother’s bedside and began giving her CPR. As they worked on her, classical music played in the background. I do not recall a radio being in the room, but I recall thinking that the doctor must have put that music on to keep him relaxed while he was giving CPR.”

“As I stood there watching the scene of the doctor and nurse giving CPR to my mother, I saw a shadow slowly rise up from my mother’s body; a shadow that was clearly her. In the shadow, she was still in a hospital gown. Her face and body were quite clear. She appeared to look down at the scene of the doctor and nurse working on her body and me standing nearby. On her face, she had an expression of total shock and confusion, as if she was trying to understand what was happening.”

“After a while, the shadow seemed to return to her body. I assumed the doctor and nurse saw her image rise up as well, and would explain this phenomenon to me when they finished giving CPR. However, they never said a word about it. If they did see it, they didn’t say, and I never asked about it. My mother died a few hours later.”

“I have been haunted by this experience my entire life. Was it my imagination? What happened that night? What I witnessed seemed quite clear to me at the time. I was quite awake. It seemed more than real.”

“I think about this experience often, even to this day. I often search to see if others have had similar experiences. It is only because of the internet that I have learned about the concept of Shared Death Experiences. I believe that this experience was an SDE. I have never had another experience like this.”

Commentary- Shared-death experiences are not as well known as after-death communications, but they are happening with increasing frequency as this spiritual reality begins to permeate everyday consciousness. That is, in general, when we know a possibility exists, we are more open and available to experiencing it for ourselves.

Although in Jay’s case, he was completely caught off guard as his brain struggled to make sense of the inexplicable at the time. Our brains take in a lot of information in each moment. Much of this information focuses on an estimation of navigating and surviving our environment in all areas of life, in the best way possible. It’s not that we are always conscious of this, but if you purposely tune into to even a small area of your life, you can see that your brain has some sort of a plan to succeed at its intended goals.

A simple example of this would be to do something or be a certain way as to avoid pain or trouble. The human brain is always making calculations. Since the brain is so busy with every second of life, it screens out excess, irrelevant material. One’s brain may operate within a particular bandwidth, thereby eliminating what it considers NOT important to one’s immediate physical, emotional, mental survival and may discount the “on the fringes” spiritual aspect.

So, you can imagine the surprise when Jay experienced what he did. His thoughts, then focused on the very survival of his mother, most unexpectedly led him into the “spiritual fringes” as his mother’s life hung in the balance. He heard classical music playing as a background soundtrack as the doctor and nurse worked furiously to revive her. Surely there must have been a logical explanation for this. Jay’s brain was trying to make sense of this spiritual episode. Well, at least his logical left brain side was.

To top that off, Jay witnesses his mother’s spirit rising from her body. Seeing her expression clearly, it was most apparent that she, too, was struggling with the whole event. Between Jay and his mother, they were experiencing a similar form of denial; one of the brain and the other of the mind. These levels of consciousness can appear as the same until the spirit is further away from its physical body, at which point a greater consciousness takes over.

Interestingly, the vision of his mother was so obvious to Jay that he was sure the nurse and doctor could have seen it. The thing is, while they were busy focusing on the physical survival of Jay’s mother, he was able to catch a glimpse of her spirit.

I wrote about Shared-death experience many years ago, after I went to a lecture given by Psychiatrist, Dr. Raymond Moody. He recorded an enormous collection of people’s after-death communications. In all his writings, he would never settle on the validity of these after-death communications. But finally, after many years, he did finally come out, in that lecture, for the reality of these other-worldly experiences, as he bore his first-hand witness account of the shared-death experience he experienced with his mother’s passing. You can read this account at, Shared-Death Experience.

Jay talks about the haunting that comes from not understanding what happened or how it was even possible. While the left side of our brain often questions spiritual events as illogical, to the right brain, spiritual phenomena is especially logical and makes perfect sense. It’s that simple. Jay existed in that spiritual world for a time. He experienced what he experienced in the spiritual realm, before he was released back into the physical realm.

A common hallmark of Jay’s experience in the spiritual world is found in what Jay mentioned. He said his experience seemed more real than the reality of this life, or the reality of what we are used to. Spiritual experiences demonstrate that there is more to this physical reality than we know and the spiritual realm can seem considerably more real than the physical one. Since we dwell in this physical realm, it may not be our usual experience to constantly perceive our lives through a spiritual lens. Some will more than others. But, although we do at times, it’s an amazing thing when we witness a spiritual event. Jay was given something very special. Besides being physically present when his mother passed, he was spiritually present enough to witness it. For sure, Jay must be pleased to know his mother still exists beyond the body..

For those who believe in an afterlife, we know that at our core, we are spiritual beings, first, experiencing a physical experience. We know that spiritual experiences, however fleeting, they are real. However, having dwelled in the physical dimension for some time, we become accustomed to forgetting our original selves, while thinking that our physical senses rule.

But, being a multi-dimensional being in the physical realm, it’s important that we remember that we are actually both.

Their Presence in our Lives

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We may doubt at times, wondering if our departed loved ones are still with us in any way. Have faith in them, and their continued loving presence in our lives.

Karen writes:
“It has been over four years now since I have been with Marcus in physical form. Although I no longer cry tears on a daily basis, I think of him, talk to him, miss him every day, and love him all the time. Now and then, I still shed tears and the grief overwhelms me. This was the case as the holidays were coming. I miss him so much during that time. Marcus was/is an amazing gift giver, and used to spoil me around the holidays and birthdays. He did this for his entire family.”

“Since his passing on to heaven, he continues to give me signs and gifts around the holidays and birthdays – including his birthday. This year, Christmas day came and went and although I exchanged a gift with him in his stocking, I felt lonely. I was talking to him in my mind, and lamenting the fact that all of the gifts I have given him since his passing, are just really gifts to myself, hanging on a special jewelry tree stand in my room.”

“I typically give him a special ornament every year, and have quite a collection now, including hearts, feathers, dandelions, and more. Everything has a meaning or a connection to Marcus. This year, I gave him a silver heart. Usually, we would exchange gifts on Christmas eve, but this year that night was so busy that I had to postpone our exchange until Christmas night.”

“That evening, I gave him the silver heart, and wondered secretly why he had not given me anything this year that I could call a true sign. It would have been the first Christmas to come and go without an obvious sign from him since his passing. Although I understand the nature of signs, and that we can’t depend on them, my heart was missing this at this time of year.”

“I was driving the next day, the day after Christmas, and was again thinking about our gift exchange. I even apologized for being late this year and asked him if he liked his heart. I got home from my errands, and took the doggies out for our daily walk. As we were walking, I was still thinking of Marcus, and missing him. I was listening to my ‘heaven’ playlist, songs that he has sent me over the years, and it made me feel closer to him.”

Karen’s Christmas Coins

“As I approached my house again, rounding out from the walk, a sparkle caught my eye. I saw a dime right in front of my driveway, and reached down to pick it up. I looked further, and noticed another, then another, and still another- I looked around to see if maybe someone had a purse that emptied while I was out for my walk- looking for an explanation. As my eyes scanned the area, I saw more and more dimes. Now they appeared sprinkled in front of my entire front lawn. It was as if someone threw a roll of dimes in the air right in front of my house.”

Karen’s Christmas Coins

“Oddly, it was only dimes. No other coins…. all in all 16 dimes! I was laughing- giddy- just filled with joy at this obvious gift as I collected up the dimes. Marcus gave me the feeling of joy, as if he had gotten me with his sense of humor – making me think he had forgotten. In my mind he was saying that he was glad I found them before the snow storm set in later that day. I am so forever grateful for his continued signs and presence in my life.”

Commentary- Many people receive signs from, or feel the presence of a deceased loved one after they have passed. Some recognize the signs right away while others, who remain open to the possibility, take a little longer to see them. Some people have to be taught to recognize them. Then there are those frustrated believer grievers that don’t believe they receive anything at all. No signs, no after-death communications, no nothing. Then, they go straight to some version of, “What’s wrong with me that I don’t get them?” “Doesn’t my loved one care?”

For those in the latter category, those signs, and the feeling of their loved ones presence may already be happening, but be misinterpreted as some sort of coincidence or wishful thinking. Some may not even be aware, as the fear and trauma of a death has the ability to put one’s state of mind anywhere but in the present. I will discuss this more in one of my next posts entitled, “There’s No Place Like the Present” as it relates to grief.

In the state of grief, many people discount spiritual experiences as inauthentic, as they focus more on the painful reality of their new life. Their priority may be about dealing more with the physical shock and pain, and less about spiritually tuning in. There may be so much negative emotional trauma, it can be easy to miss their departed loved ones support through all the grief and pain. It’s like the pain is so loud in our heads, that the comfort can’t be heard or felt. This is truly a confusing time of crisis, where the upheaval of one’s life practically upends all sense of stability, perception and faith. It takes a while to recover to a state of normality and familiarity.

But, at some point, we might become aware of the comfort that has been there in the midst of the sadness. We might begin to notice the signs because we can now be reached… we are now available. We might now be able to hear a little better, as the noise of devastation settles down a bit.

Whether or not we have been aware of signs or our loved ones presence, they are there, I’m sure. But sometimes, they are very subtile and take a particular way of looking and listening that is unlike that of the looking/listening we are used to in this physical realm.

I have received hundreds of signs from people who have lost a loved one. They are immortalized within the pages of this site, along with numerous after-death communications. Signs look like rainbows, dragonflies and other winged things, cloud projections of angels and hearts, the unexplained sudden and surprising appearance of coins, as was Karen’s experience.

There are literal signs on the road, on a billboard or a license plate. There are far too many to list here, but the thing about them being something special, is the enlightened feeling that this sign is a personal message to that one receiving it. It is the feeling of being “singled out” in an obvious and meaningful way that is hard to deny. More times than not, you absolutely know it when it happens, but still might ask yourself, “Am I going crazy?” At first you might think you are.

Often, we can feel their presence. As we listen and feel, it may come in quiet moments of reflection that often manifest as a feeling of being hugged or touched and a tingling sensation that follows. Their voice might pop into our heads, or a literal message might manifest in a show or song. You might catch a scent that is associated only to the departed. You might even briefly see them.

These simple spiritual manifestations make it possible for us to know and feel comfort that our loved ones still exist. Signs are given to show those left behind, that they are not going through this devastating time alone. Although it is exceedingly painful to go through the pain of grief, we may feel some sort of comfort and support from our departed loved one.

If you just close your eyes and take a deep breath of reassurance, it is possible to feel them next to you. No, it’s not like when they were in the physical realm, but we take what we can get, for things are different now and we must get used to it. But, do not let your brain deceive you, just because you can’t experience in the ways you always did, it doesn’t mean they ever left. It doesn’t make sense that they would leave us in our greatest time of need. Would you do that to your loved ones? Love as powerful as it is, would not be stopped by heaven or hell. There are so many signs and after-death communications, from so many people to prove it.

As far as a time frame, as it relates to their presence, contrary to what some say, it has been my experience that signs and after-death communications don’t have an expiration date. There is no expiration date that prevents them from being by our side, cheering us on on our challenging path of life. It’s been 3 years for Karen. Marcus is still around, even giving gifts and teasing her the way he always had. But as time goes on, sometimes, they’re more silent than before.

One day, not feeling much of a presence from our departed loved one, we may wonder. Have they gone somewhere? As we get further from those darkest days of our loss, it seems they frequent us less and less. This is not to be confused with the thinking that they have actually left us alone, they are just not revealing themselves in our lives. At least, this is what Christian taught me after his passing.

At some point on our grief path, it will be time to bravely step forward. One step and then another, and so on. Of course, we have the pain of our loss and miss them desperately, as we are forced to step forward into an uncertain future without their physical presence. If we are to experience the depth of our feelings as a human, learn from our losses, deal with our emotions, evolve and heal from our deepest pain and have faith in a new future, this is all part of it. This is part of experiencing life and what it is to be human.

But… this is not to say they won’t pop in periodically, and put that big smile on our face, or even make us giddy, as Karen was with Marcus’ gift of dimes. This life is our school, with many tests. There will be times that we must be left to ourselves for the hardest, most growth promoting parts of our learning. Being tested on it, we become stronger and get to know ourselves in a deeper way than ever before. Through this process called life, we are allowed to develop ourselves in deeper ways than had we not had our tough challenges.

Yes, it’s really sad that our loved ones are gone (out of sight, that is), and of course, we could never forget them, but, at some point our loved ones make themselves scarce. Although this is incredibly difficult, we need to get back to some semblance of life if we are ever to move through our grief. This is so we can deal, learn, grow & develop and heal. But this is usually a long way into the grief process.

At the beginning, we so desperately need our loved one’s support and to be reassured. These signs and after-death communications go a long way toward that end, as well as, developing for ourselves the faith in an afterlife and the promise that we will see them again.

I love Karen’s graceful and peaceful attitude. Although she is hopeful Marcus will manifest, she is understanding, humble and calm in the case that he doesn’t. Undeniably, she if confident in the strength of their spiritual bond together, and that something as simple as physical death (also a part of life), could never break it. Karen is faithful. Karen is peaceful.

We may have doubts at times. That’s a human thing. But just remember who your loved one was on Earth, trust in their love and caring. Have some faith in them and their continued loving presence in our lives. You will be much more peaceful for it.

Blessings for a peaceful healing journey.

We Are Always Connected

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Without our departed loved ones, we often feel alone. We often feel unheard. What if we are not only heard, but connected in ways that we could never be apart?

Many years ago, a few months after Christian died, I was outside crying again. It was unusually cold that day, even though it was summer. I was bundled up in a blanket while reading on the front porch. I liked sitting out there when the wind blew because the sound of the wind chimes I had placed around the porch, gave me a certain amount of comfort and peace… maybe like heaven was not so far away.

I remember thinking how cold it was. Although the weather that day was most unseasonable, it sort of matched the cold harsh dread of grief that I felt inside. When it finally got too cold for me, I went inside and started to work around the house. It wasn’t too long before I noticed that the house was particularly hot. Thinking to myself that I was not working that hard to experience that much heat, I noticed the heater was not only on, but up really high. The only thing is… that no one turned the thermostat to heat. It was previously set to air conditioner since it was summertime.

When I noticed this strange happening, and turned the heat off, I noticed that the fan was turned on as well. This does not ever happen. Christian must have heard my thoughts about being cold and tried to lighten my sad mood by letting me know he was around, doing what he could. Also, assuring that I would be warm.

Although it might seem implausible to some, I have found through the experience of others and that of my own, that our loved ones do, in fact, have a way of hearing our words and thoughts. It’s called perception through consciousness and it’s really very simple for them to be aware of us and our thoughts and feelings. Although it might seem not to be the case since their passing, we are always connected, but our physical senses so often deceive us.

If we try to understand the afterlife through the template of what we think we know about this world, we will never even begin to understand or know anything different than what we already do. When it comes to explaining things in the afterlife, I have often said that this life is like a cheap imitation to the world beyond. That place is limitless and abundant. If we don’t allow ourselves to be patiently open to the Spirit, the after-death communications of others and all spiritual things in nature, we just might miss a lot.

Sure, many times it’s easy to over-look something spiritual as a coincidence. Some people even think of a sign or after-death communication as one’s imagination. I’ve got good news for the imaginative. Just because you think you’ve imagined something, it doesn’t mean it didn’t actually happen. For the greater part, I’ve found that after-death communication’s main access occurs precisely through that sort of brain wonderment state.

Too often, our departed loved ones are the unseen force that mysteriously cause unexplainable things to happen that don’t get acknowledged enough. Christian had to somehow push both buttons in opposite directions to turn the heat on, so, as a sign, I would know he was with me.

I did believe that then. Today?

Heaven – image Willgard/Pixabay

I don’t even bother to question anymore. I don’t believe in the afterlife. With the many, many after-death communications that I have received personally, I have a sure knowledge that there’s an afterlife. And now, with all my experience, as well as the experiences that others have sent my way, I don’t need wind chimes to feel close to heaven, my knowledge in the afterlife gives me more peace and comfort than I ever had before.

I also know our departed loved ones are aware enough to perceive our thoughts and feelings. They hear us. They love us, and do things for us, too. We never have to go on without them when they are with us all the time. We are always connected in some way we don’t always understand.

Many blessing for a New Year of peace, love, hope and healing!
Jade xo

The Power of Positive Perspective

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We get so caught up in the situations of our lives that we forget that we have any power to change our view of it. This post is just a reminder that you can.

Chilling out – Image: Pixabay

In the hustle and bustle of our busy world, where it seems like time IS literally flying right by us, sometimes we forget to take a moment of peace and relaxation for ourselves. Even… if it is just to pause and breathe deeply and get centered in that one moment.

Powerful Beyond Belief When we don’t have what we need in life, stress rises and we begin to worry about how we will attempt to meet our needs, sometimes it helps to reflect upon what we do have and imagine the possibility of all that we are, and all that we can do. Even… if it’s just for a moment.

You may be unduly surrounded by hatred and discord and you think it to be all-consuming to the point of contamination, yet, sometimes it works to boldly blast them with unexpected love and kindness as a response. Even… if you get some strange looks, it might lighten the situation.

Love is Forever

Although we may feel grieved that our departed loved ones are not physically with us, sometimes it’s powerful to remind ourselves that they are with us spiritually, even if it’s just for an eternity.

Always remember this. Our life is all about perspective. Sure, life throws at us some pretty gnarly situations to overcome, but it’s up to us- just how we will perceive these scenarios and how we will choose to proceed with that perception. Life is like a glass that can either be half empty or half full. It’s just the way you choose to look at it.

Freeing yourself – Image: Pixabay

May I suggest a practice that uses attitudes of peace, love, inspiration and gratitude as a tool? If you seek out the bright side of light and life, you will find it in the positive perspective of how you think. This power is yours to be had, at any time, and is totally up to you just how free you can be!

It’s About Time… (Heavenly time, that is)

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The last post was of Pat’s experience with the passing of her friend, Abe. Since that short time, Pat has received an after-death communication from him.

Pat writes:
“Well…this is interesting. For 8 months my watch had stopped at 20 minutes to 4:00. My last conversation with Abe was about whether there is time in the next life. We made a pact that, whoever died first would let the other know.”

“I have not replaced the battery, hoping Abe would fix it as a sign given to me. I just looked at my watch and it now says 10 minutes to 3:00. Abe died around 3 am.”

“My watch is still not working but this makes me smile. I know this is a sign from Abe. He is letting me know he is still with us. Now, I definitely will not put a new battery in it. Every time I look at my watch, I will think of our previous conversation and this new sign from him, and smile.”

“Thank you, Abe!”

Commentary- In my last post, I Didn’t Get a Chance to say Goodbye, Pat shared her last experience with her friend, Abe, and his passing. Well, it’s hardly been two weeks since that post, which focused on departed Abe, when lo and behold, Abe comes forth to remember the promise of a pact made, since Abe was the first to cross over to the other side.

The existence of time

The subject of their pact was whether time, as we know it in the physical world, exists in the heavenly one as well. And not even the last part of this sentence is accurate, as some of the brightest minds in mathematics and science do not know for sure if time exists at all.

For sure, scientists have been trying to understand the nature of “time” for a long time. Given time’s invisible nature, it doesn’t help them much. However, the more physicists study time, the more time seems to not exist, not even in this realm, although that might have not been something the average person has really given much thought to. Our world may be less solid and static than we might think.

Time is really like a fence that appears solid from a distance. You get closer and you begin to notice the many fibers that make up that fence and the many vulnerabilities. But, looking deeply into a microscope, these fibers seem to separate as our vision peers through them, giving way to the molecules and someday, the atoms from which they are made.

The conundrum to explain time’s existence and what time is, among physicists is called, the “problem of time.” You can read more about this here.

Time may actually just be a concept to document our experiences in some way. Have you ever noticed how time can seem to go so fast, while other times, so slow. Have you ever just lost track of time? Where did it go?

Eternity NOW

In many after-death experiences, time seems to be, at the very least, distorted from our place of existence, if not timeless. Loved ones appear as their youthful selves. Many times, lucid dream visits with our departed loved ones take place in another realm with time distortion.

My point is that even the smartest of the smartest physicists and mathematicians do not understand the nature of time and can’t even say if time exists in this realm or another. Perhaps it will be possible for us to understand the nature of time in the next life, but it could remain a mystery as well. I mean, having thought we have been experiencing time up to this point, how would we explain no time?

I think what Abe was saying with his sign to Pat about her watch, was not necessarily a booming answer from the universe, (and maybe it was) but rather… that he remembers their pact together and is with her at THIS time and always.

And… Pat smiled.

I Didn’t Get a Chance to Say Goodbye

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Many people don’t get the chance to say goodbye when a loved one has passed, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still say goodbye. This post explores how you can.

Abe

Pat writes:
Last January, I lost a good friend, Abe, at the nursing home. He was dying. I planned to go see him that Monday but my autistic son, Aaron, had a 24 hour meltdown, so that kept me busy on Skype and the phone, on the Sunday before. Aaron called me at 1:30 am on the phone Monday and I finally told group home to give him some meds so he could settle down. He went to sleep at 3 am.”

“Meanwhile, while I was trying to get back to sleep, I had a vision of Abe looking at me with his big puppy dog eyes. I could not get him out of my mind. Wondering if this was the end for Abe, I asked my departed son, Dustin, to meet him when he crossed over…and told him to bring Kenny with him. Kenny was Abe’s former room mate who passed in 2017.”

“I did not go visit Abe the next day because I was going on 3 hours of sleep, so I slept most of the day. When I did go in on Tuesday, I found out that Abe had passed away early (3 am) Tuesday morning. I felt bad because I missed saying goodbye to him on Monday, due to no sleep.”

Crossing over

Commentary- Having the opportunity to say goodbye to a loved one is an important part of healing. Being able to say goodbye brings a certain amount of eventual closure to the grief process.

Many times we get that precious chance to be person to person, while we say our very last words to one another, but unfortunately, sometimes we do not. And… often times, this disappointing reality is met by feeling some version of “bad” about the fact that we were not there.

However, we shouldn’t add regret, guilt, shame and even more sadness to an, already, sorrowful situation. It’s not helpful to anyone. When a loved one passes and we didn’t get a chance to be there to say goodbye, we often start thinking in terms of should of, could of and would of, derailing everything that we actually did while our loved one was alive. Being kind and reasonable to yourself is a good way to honor your departed loved one. They wouldn’t want you to beat yourself up over it.

In situations like this, the best perspective to have is that… life is not that simple.

As we go about the details of our day-to-day lives, which takes a certain amount of self-absorption, we have no idea what is going to happen, when and to whom. We certainly don’t know the exact time that death with come for any one of us next. It is what it is, so it’s important that we be objectively reasonable.

The amazing thing about Pat’s experience is that she did get a chance to say goodbye when Abe came to visit her. Although it wasn’t a physical one, it surely was a spiritual goodbye, which, in my opinion, is way more meaningful and miraculous. What a gift he gave his dear friend.

However, if you did not have a spiritual manifestation from a departing/departed loved one, before or after death, you can still say goodbye! There are two main ways to do this. One is super easy. The other is a little harder, but you might need this one to feel like you have actually made contact. (Both are really easy)

The super easy one. Although our departed loved ones no longer have the physical ears with which to hear our words, NOW, they are empowered with consciousness in which to perceive our thoughts and feelings. Write down what there is to say to them, what you would have said if you were there in those last final moments, then simply say it to them. Out loud or in the privacy of your own thoughts.
The harder one. Follow #1 but do something special in a special setting. In other words, some people do much better when they set up some sort of ritual. They tend to believe it more. Some rituals include, going to their gravesite with flowers and a poignant letter to read. Perhaps you gather special items belonging to your loved one to put on an altar of some sort, like a gravesite. This is a place to go to visit them, in your thoughts and express your thoughts and feelings.
And… another bonus one. There are so many ways to say goodbye, or even not say goodbye if you’re not ready. But, I just thought of another one that is on my website called, Higher Self Communication. Higher Self Communication can be used to communicate with beings on Earth or in Heaven.

The goal here is to make it easier to deal with a loved one’s passing and the process that entails. The grief process in general, is a healing process of getting complete with one’s losses. It takes time to heal these injuries, as there are many layers to work through.

Within the larger perspective, although we never actually say goodbye to our loved ones, saying goodbye after an Earthy passing is just one way to acknowledge our loss of them in the Earthly realm, allowing us to get complete with what happened. This is what happens in our brain’s healing process and is a must if we are to move forward.

But… just because you may say goodbye in this life, it doesn’t mean you don’t say hello in the next. Love is the bond that binds us together. We are always connected.

Saying Goodbye for now

Celebrity After-Death Communications

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Is it possible to experience an after-death communication from an adored deceased celebrity? Why not?

Picture of Singer, David Bowie

Liz writes:
“I was on the sofa on my laptop and Billy, my partner, was putting a towel in the laundry when we heard a noise of something falling in our sun-room. We looked in and found the big picture we have on the wall in there, which is a sketching of David Bowie, had fallen off the wall and slipped behind the chair it sits above. It’s held up by 4 of those heavy duty sticky hooks, and has a cord which sits on the hooks.”

“I have often thought that if the hooks fail, the picture would fall and smash on the floor, that’s why we put the extra support of a couple more hooks behind it. It’s a treasured picture I bought for Billy years ago, being a big Bowie fan for years.”

“Strangely, when if fell, it must have just dropped down and slipped behind the chair, so there was no damage. In the unlikely event of all hooks failing together, you’d imagine the picture to fall forward and break on the floor, but not one of the hooks had come unstuck. All 4 hooks were firmly stuck to the wall, meaning that the cord must have snapped or broken – but it hadn’t, it was fully intact! We hung it back up.”

“How could a picture that size and weight launch itself off the 4 hooks on it’s own when nothing had come unstuck or the cord broken?”

“I have a feeling we’ve had a visit from Stevie, Billy’s friend who passed after a brain hemorrhage 2 years ago on Christmas Eve. They’d been best mates since they were in their teens, and Stevie knew how much Billy loved David Bowie … unless we’ve had a visit from David himself!
LOL!”

Commentary- I would have chalked up this after-death communication as just another visit from deceased best friend, Stevie, who knew of Billy’s love for, also deceased singer, David Bowie. However, it was Liz’s afterthought that caught my attention.

I’ve found that so many times, afterthoughts, even those that seem to be far-fetched or said in jest, are actually something to consider as subconscious material rising to the surface. And, more than often, I’ve found subconscious material to be a clue leading to previously untapped truth.

Liz laughs, but no joke, I’ve heard this happen before. I started hearing about this early on when GriefandMourning.com first began. Although I did hear out the people who wrote to tell me about their experiences with dead celebrities back then, I might have wondered about their imaginations or wishful thinking. You know, similar to the “I was Cleopatra in another life” sort of thing. But after hearing enough of these celebrity after-death visits, I realized that just like our deceased loved ones, for whom we care so much about, beloved celebrities also fall into the mix.

It was only after learning about 1990’s pop singer, Debbie Gibson’s experience with her beloved Liberace, and the mirrored piano of his that she bought, that I began to realize this was really a thing.

Debbie received a call to be a mystery guest on a show with a Psychic Medium and wondered who he was going to even contact, but agreed to be on the show. On the way out the door she heard something fall to the floor and noticed that it was one of the mirrored parts from the piano. For some reason, she put it in her purse.

When she got to the studio, she and the medium couldn’t see each other, as their backs were to each other. She had never heard of this medium before. When he began his reading, he stopped mid sentence to say, “I’m getting something about a piano.” Then, “Surely, you couldn’t have brought a piano with you?” “Well, actually…” and she went on to tell him that she brought a sentimental piece of a piano with her. Immediately he named Liberace and that he had a message for her. Liberace wanted her to know that he is around her and was watching over her and the piano. After that, Debbie realized his continued presence.

As people in this life may develop a meaningful relationship and affinity for a celebrity of some sort, those artists do the same for their fans as a whole. Making people smile is what they have always known and are used to. Perhaps some of them are still trying to do that.

Although I’ve never experienced a celebrity visitation, I do believe it to be possible. After all, dead celebrities are spirits too.

And maybe this classic “picture falling off the wall” was just an after-death communication from Stevie. Maybe it was David Bowie. But, even more amazing to think about is… maybe it was both!

My gut tells me… it was probably both! Yeah, that feels right!

Processing Grief Through Writing

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In processing her grief over the loss of her husband, Rich, Kathy writes a book of their last and fateful trip to the Bahamas, as seen through the eyes of her cocker spaniel.

Kathy writes:

Rich

“My husband, Rich, died 4 years ago while we were on a dream trip to the Bahamas on our Pearson 385 sailing vessel. It was to be the start of a great retirement, but our trip changed course and altered our lives forever. Rich became septic and a short 4 weeks later he was dead.”

“I had this idea in my head to write a book that chronicled our last and final trip down the west coast of Florida, the Keys, and the Bahamas. I had done a blog along the way and needed to add some more chapters and elaborate a bit on the contents. The results “CJ, BITTS, and a BOAT, An Adult Cruising Adventure.” It was published in March of 2019.”

CJ&Bitts Charlotte Harbor

“The book is written through the eyes and voice of CJ, my cocker spaniel. Bitts is her Shih Tzu sister, and of course the boat is our beloved Rikava, which was named by joining together parts of our names. The book is a dog story, a love story, and a travelogue that has humor, education, adventure, drama and tragedy.”

“First and foremost, I wanted the book to be a tribute to my wonderful Rich. Maybe I just wanted to immortalize him. I thought writing it would be cathartic, and in a way it was, but it certainly was hard to write the “Livin the Nightmare” chapter.”

“I truly felt like I was there on each and every entry of the blog, and it was all so very crystal clear, like it all happened just yesterday. The happy parts made me smile and the sad parts brought me right back to the reality of this nightmare. It made me shutter and wonder how I ever made it through it. Writing this showed me that I was stronger than I ever thought I was and yes, I made it through it. The Acknowledgements: gave me the opportunity to thank the multitude of family, friends, and strangers who helped me through the ordeal.”

“However, having stated all this, I never thought I would make it through the first two years of the grieving process either. I was such a mess. I swear I cried all day, each and every day. If it wasn’t for having to take care of my elderly Mom and autistic brother, I probably would not have gotten out of bed. God certainly knows what he is doing!”

“So, just like some of the rest of the grievers out there, I made it through the worst of times. I think of Rich when I wake up and before I go to bed at night. I don’t think that will ever change. However, now I do more smiling than crying, remembering his sweet soul and all the magical times we had and truly believing we will see each other again at the end of my time on Earth. And yes, I have emerged stronger than I ever thought possible.”

Commentary- I asked Kathy to share the healing process of writing her book, through the voice of her Cocker Spaniel, CJ, because I saw the tremendous value of articulating and processing grief in this very cathartic way.

In times of intense grief, the human brain is fixated in the one dimensional thinking of immediate pain, pain and more pain. It can think of nothing else. Shock and denial sets in as a form of natural anesthesia. This is the way our brain goes into survival mode in an attempt to numb us, and tamp down the full devastation of the emotional spectrum that surely will come.

With time, as we begin to process what happened and how our world has changed because of it, shock and denial fade as we begin to feel more of the full weight and consequence of our loss. And just like the feeling of anesthesia that has worn off, we begin to experience the raw pain as our new reality sets in. This is a normal part of our grief process.

In this dark unfamiliar place, we search for light. Being newly blinded, we struggle to understand what we can’t yet begin to comprehend. We try to find tools that will help us find our way out of the pit of despair in which we are now contained. We go through a confusing myriad of emotions that come, go and blend into one another. It repeats so often that we think we might not survive.

If you’ve experienced loss, all this may sound familiar, It’s a dark, lonely and devastating place. But one thing is for sure. While you are having all these thoughts and feelings, the good news is that you are on the road to begin to process them. This takes time and perspective. It also takes courage.

Writing is a deliberate way to work through the hard to face emotional blocks linked to difficult thoughts. Being able to articulate a grief process is a must, if one is to ever uncover what is actually thought and felt. Although verbal expression works too, writing is a more private option.

Using the medium of writing, through book or blog as Kathy did, is not only a great idea to face the truth of what happened, but does so in a immensely therapeutic way. This is why keeping a journal of thoughts and feelings are often recommended for the bereaved. Taking time to slow the thoughts and feelings down can be calming and peaceful. Of course it can be bittersweet, too.

Allowing CJ to tenderly tell much of the story was a brilliant way for Kathy to process her devastating loss from a multi-dimensional perspective. This is related to peripheral healing. Both she and CJ told their own story, but from different points of view. In doing so, she gave herself the opportunity to heal different layers on different levels. She told what she could tell as CJ and she told what she could tell as Kathy.

Articulating thoughts by spoken or written word, can help to isolate the cause of particular emotions. Sometimes, it just important to know what your dealing with. Poetry is great for this and can really capture your painful world in a very deep, dramatic and creative way.

There are very good reasons for writing down your thoughts and feelings. It is possible to discover that certain painful thought-producing emotions are not even real. If you don’t consciously monitor your thoughts on a regular basis, you may have some false ones. For example. It might be something you unconsciously once heard and integrated, without any thought about it. Maybe you didn’t even know the thought was there.

When you really start to listen to your thoughts, you find they are very active. They say all sorts of things. Some things are true and some are not. Some are good and some are just plain, unfair. If you pay attention to them, you will become conscious of what is dictating your experience. Discovering your thoughts, speaking or writing about the pain of those thoughts can shed light into even the darkest of regions, thereby causing light and truth to be your healer.

Rich

Although Kathy still misses Rich today, she has come a long way. Dealing with her loss in this profound way, she has done the hard work. She has fully processed her most painful experiences in a very creative way. Having been forged in the Refiner’s flame, she will never be the same. She is stronger and more valiant than ever before. And Rich smiles, as he muses at the absolute magnificence of the woman he still loves.

You know what they say. “Life is short.” But… without as much as missing a beat, someday, Rich and Kathy will reunite. Their adventure will continue, doing what they love, together, they will sail the heavenly seas again with their furry friends. And this time, their voyage won’t be cut short.

For those interested in Kathy and CJ’s book adventure together, you can find it here- Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com, and BookVenture.com.

“It is a testament to the human capacity for resilience and survival, to create memories and honor those memories that have been created. It is a lovely memoir of one’s travels through life”.
-Reviewer from “The US Review of Books”.

All proceeds go toward animal welfare.

Our Angels Watch Over Us

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Cat experiences several after-death communications for a variety of reasons, but mainly to urgently warn of impending hereditary heart disease in the family.

Catherine writes:
“In 2017, my fiancee, Robert, died in my car in a tragic accident, after which I got several very clear after-death communications.” Continue reading →