Category Archives: Loss

Loss is a part of life, whether it’s the loss of something cherished, such as a ring or the loss life from a person who was loved. In this life, though we lose sometimes, we also gain, too. Our job is to accept that both loss and gain are a part of the human condition.

Adversity… Susan’s Growth through Tragedy

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Susan’s story of losing her partner, the love of her life, to death in a brutal explosion and her victory over adversity.

At 47, Susan had finally found the love of her life in Dennis, and he with Susan too. Strongly committed to their relationship, they expected to spend the rest of their lives together. But 4 1/2 years into their relationship together, the day came when Dennis and Susan’s world would tragically change.

Dennis was a painter by trade. He owned his own business and just happened to employ Susan’s former husband, Neil. At work, on this one fateful day, Dennis had a small oil-based paint job to finish. Dennis, having some other things to do, asked Neil to finish the job. But Neil, not wanting to use the oil-based paint, declined and went outside to eat his lunch instead. So needing to get the job done, Dennis decided to go ahead with it. After all, someone had to do it.

As Dennis began to spray, and being too close to a furnace, within minutes, an explosion occurred.  Badly burned and injured, but still alive, Dennis was rushed to the hospital in an attempt to save his life.
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Coping with Death

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…and the road ahead.

A lone road

The Road Ahead

I heard the shocking news last week; Randy, a long-time friend of mine had suffered a fatal heart attack. Grateful that a mutual friend remembered to notify me, I was able to attend the “life celebration” held in his honor.

As I listened to the sentimental stories people shared from the microphone, I couldn’t help but hear the other side of this, and how much his physical presence would be missed in the every day lives of others, especially, those closest to him.
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Forgiving the Perpetrator

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Recently, a client of mine recommended the documentary called “Forgiving Dr. Mengele.” This documentary focused on the torment victims were made to endure in the concentration camp of Auschwitz, during the time of Nazi, Germany, specifically the sets of twins whose lives were spared for the sole purpose of human experimentation by the sadistic and infamous Dr. Josef Mengele. He chose twins because with them, he had the perfect control group at his disposal. He ran experiments on one of the twins to measure the results against the other. To Dr. Mengele, these people, mainly children, were as lab rats. He was a cruel narcissist that had no regard for them as human beings. Clearly, these people experienced horrors that were unimaginable to many in the world.
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Free as a Bird

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Rose Marie was with her father at the hospital as he was about to die. But before his death, his deceased parents appeared at his hospital bed just in time to take him home. Shortly after his passing, Rose Marie received two after-death communications showing her that her father is still very much alive!

snowy christmas day

snowy christmas day

It was a snowy Christmas day when Rose Marie arrived at the hospital with a gift for her dying father. She draped the new sweater around her father’s shoulders to keep him warm as he lay in his bed. After a long struggle with lung cancer, his time on Earth was almost complete.

He looked at the foot of the bed where his deceased mother and father stood waiting for him to exit his mortal shell. Clenching tightly to his daughter’s hand, he said, “I cannot leave you here. You have to come with me. I must go soon, my mother and father are here to pick me up.”
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Sorrow and the Potter’s Oven

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A potter's kiln

The extreme heat of a potter kiln

“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?” 
–Kahlil Gibran (1883 – 1931)

Sometimes, we are called to enter into the  potter’s oven and we know not why. (metaphorical, of course!)

Yet, are we here only to experience joy? Although it sure feels better, and we may wish this were the case, we are actually here to experience all of it; the whole spectrum of human emotion, even the difficult ones.

If you are experiencing sorrow at this time, experience it fully. For when joy comes around again, you will appreciate it that much more.

Grief and Mourning… What’s the Difference?

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A Grieving Angel bowing head to cry

A Grieving Angel bowing head to cry

What is Grief?
Grief is the normal and natural reaction to loss. The grieving process may be set into motion anytime one experiences any form of loss, whether it seems significant or not.

This grief reaction can range from the loss of an item to the loss of a dream, the death of a bad relationship to the death of a great relationship. One may grieve a person they loved and knew well, while another may grieve someone they never met. Celebrity deaths, missing children and abductee deaths, featured on the news, are examples of this. Some people, who seem depressed in life, may actually be grieving the current condition of our world and planet. Continue reading →

The Wall of Mystery

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A great wall of mystery

A great wall of mystery

“There is an ancient story in the East that tells that there was a wall of mystery. Whenever anyone tried to climb up the wall to look at the other side, he smiled and jumped over, and never came back again. So the people of that country became very curious to know what mystery was behind the wall. Once when someone was climbing up the wall to see what was on the other side, they put chains on his feet, and held him so that he would not go over. When he looked at the other side, he too was delighted with what he saw and smiled; and those standing at the foot of the wall; curious to know what he had to say, pulled him back. But to their great disappointment he had lost his speech.”  (Excerpt taken from The Music of Life by Hazrat Inayat Khan)

Since the beginning of time, mystics have sought the answers to the many mysteries of life. Much of that time has been spent in endless speculation. But perhaps the greatest of all life’s mysteries is that of death.
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Stairway to Heaven

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With her impending near-death experience quickly approaching, Melania, age 78, was rushed to the hospital by her son at the first indication that something was wrong. There, at the hospital, it was determined that Melania was having a heart attack, a heart attack that caused her to flat-line. As the minutes passed, concern grew that if she could not be revived soon, she would suffer brain damage.
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Christian’s Visit

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In an auditory after-death communication, Christian shows up for his 2-year anniversary.

It was March 31st all day yesterday. Christian’s death and birthday, 2 years ago. Shortly after 11 am, I looked at the place on the floor where Christian had struggled for his life, exactly 2 years earlier, while he assured a hysterical me, that he would be alright. By noon, he had left this world. The doctor said it was an arterial vascular mass that caused his brain to suddenly hemorrhage.

The day ticked by, and being an important date to those of us left on Earth, I was excited about the possibility that he would make an appearance. Surely, he would know how much that would mean to us, on this bittersweet occasion.
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Phone Call From Heaven

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In an after-death communication, John receives a mysterious phone call from an old friend, Ted.

“While I was going through my divorce, I moved back into my parent’s home for a period of time, to get my life in order.”

“One day while I was out, an interesting phone call came. My father answered the phone to hear the caller asking for me. Since I wasn’t home at the time, my father took the man’s message. He gave his name. Then, he reminisced about how we once worked together, and wanted me to call him back, as soon as I got home.”

“Later, when I arrived home, my father gave me the message. With paper in hand, I dialed his number. Waiting patiently for someone to pick up the phone, a woman answered. When I asked for my friend, there was a long pause from his wife, followed by, “You must be mistaken. It is impossible for Ted to have called you. He died of lung cancer 3 months ago!”
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Grandpa’s Three Visitors

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Anthony, age 24, recalls Grandma’s story of Grandpa’s three mysterious visitors.

Grandpa's gate by the garden

Grandpa’s gate by the garden

Years ago, when my Grandpa was still living, he had a peculiar experience. In the wee hours of morning, Grandpa sat up in bed and waking Grandma, told her of his dream. He dreamed there were three men waiting for him by the back gate, in the garden, where his rose bushes were.

But, Grandma, thinking it was just a dream, told him to go back to sleep. So, Grandpa did.
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Stages of Grief

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Stone angel crying in her grief

Stone angel crying in her grief

Grief is a normal response to a painful loss. Made up of many emotional states, the grief process is the inward journey we must take if we are to heal the pain associated with our loss.

Although this article is geared toward grief over the death of a loved one, the grief cycle is relevant for any loss. The grief process provides a natural way for us to recover from our loss and move forward.

Generally the grief cycle includes: shock and denial, bargaining, pain, anger, depression and finally, acceptance. However, depending on the individual and the circumstances involved, navigating this terrain can be much more complicated.
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Elisabeth Kübler-Ross.. “Ask and you will be given.”

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Dr. Kubler-Ross

Dr. Kubler-Ross

I’ve selected this story from Dr. Kübler-Ross because it is such an inspiring classic of a near-death experience. It illustrates an example of a man that had given up all hope. After losing his entire family all at once, this man was naturally devastated. The experience he was about to have would completely change his life forever.

If you are grieving and barely hanging on, read this story carefully. Sometimes, like the man in the story, we are called on to face great trials in our lives. But hang on, there’s often more to the picture than we can understand from our limited perpective.
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