pillars of light
“I’m confused” a frustrated woman explained to me, “One medium told me one thing about my deceased loved one, and another medium said something else! What is the truth? Who should I believe?”
This is just one of the issues with expecting another person to get the answers from your deceased loved one, that you could be getting for yourself. Continue reading
“50 Shade of Grief (Process) Explained”, is a detailed explanation of the gradual evolution of the many emotional and mental states we have the possibility of passing through, as we travel on the road to grief recovery. Keep in mind, no two grievers are the same; some will visit all of these stops, while other grievers will experience just some of them.
Grieving is a very personal journey. It is also wise to mention, that although there is an order of emotional and mental states to experience, grief can happen in any order. What is common though, is that the first part of this chart is experienced before the last part of the chart.
In the end… this chart represents a successfully completed, grief recovery journey; starting from entering into the long tunnel of darkness… and exiting out the other end; into the light. Continue reading
“50 Shade of Grief (Process)” shows the gradual evolution of the many emotional and mental states we have the possibility of passing through, as we travel on the road to grief recovery. Keep in mind, no two grievers are the same; some will visit all of these stops, while other grievers will experience just some.
Grieving is a very personal journey. It is also wise to mention, that although there is an order of emotional and mental states to experience, grief can happen in any order. What is common though, is that the first part of this chart is experienced before the last part of the chart.
In the end… this chart represents a successfully completed, grief recovery journey; starting from entering into the long tunnel of darkness… and exiting out the other end; into the light.
Blessings on your sacred journey. May you find peace and complete healing at the end of your tunnel.
(Dedicated to the memory of Christian who crossed over on, March 31, 2010, just six years ago today. We love and miss you dearly.)
Companion to- 50 Shade of Grief (Process) Explained (Click image to enlarge)
A meme which documents the grief process from Shock to Rebirth
In a series of after-death communication dream visitations, Sadgunnan convinces Sanjita that he is alive, well and still continues to watch over his best friend.
Sanjita writes:
Sanjita’s best friend, Sadgunnan
“It’s been a year and 7 months since my best friend, Sadgunnan, passed away. I had known him for the past 8 years. We hung out and were there for each other always. Besides God, he always protected me in many ways. We did have ups and downs, unlike other friendships, but despite the situations, we somehow got back in contact with each other.”
“It’s was a few months back in 2013, that we both got busy with our lives and hardly met up with each other, called or even texted. There was a time he wanted to meet me, but I was so caught up with my work that I couldn’t meet him. My answer was always “next time”… and when the next time came that I wanted to tell him, “we’ll meet up”, I received a phone call from his good friend telling me that Sadgunnan met with an accident, was in coma for a week and had passed away. I was deeply shocked. I could not believe or accept his death. I wasn’t able to attend his funeral, as well and had thoughts in my mind like, “That’s it!! I have lost him and will not get the chance to meet him again”. I thought of him and our memories, cried myself to sleep a lot, and blamed myself for not seeing him when he was alive.”
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After the tragic accident and eventual passing of her beloved boyfriend, Ardit, 19-year-old Albana, is comforted when she receives several messages from Ardit, in a dream.
It was mid August when Albana contacted me with her dream visitation and a question. The email read in part: “I saw a dream last night. I was in my grandparents’ room with my mum. In the bed, there was a little baby of 3 months. The baby was talking to us, and said our name.” Surprised by this, Albana suddenly asked, “Who are you?” The baby answered, saying, “I am Ardit!” (Ardit was her boyfriend who died 3 weeks earlier!)
Then, Albana asked me, “Is this a dream or real sign from him? During the time since his death, I have seen him in other dreams, saying to me that he loves me, he is fine, and begged me to forgive him. Help me to understand please.”
(In a reply to Albana, I write, in part)
“Hello Albana,
I’m sorry for your loss. It sounds like this is a sign. There may be some symbolism involved also. I would need more background information to determine what symbolism was being used. Like for example, the 3-month-old baby saying he was your boyfriend that died 3 weeks ago. If the death time would have been longer than 3 weeks, I would consider reincarnation, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.
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In an after-death communication, I am comforted when a mysterious bird lands on my front porch to serenade me with its beautiful songs.
It was Friday, May 28th, 2010, a day I remember well. It was two month after Christian’s death and I was still very raw with emotion from his shocking and untimely departure. I was alone in the house at the time, sitting on the couch… just crying my eyes out. My grief was so severe, I thought I might have been having a nervous breakdown at the time. I remember wondering if I would have to be hospitalized for my despondency and suicidal thoughts. The pain was exhausting.
Suddenly, without any explanation, a calm stillness fell over me. It was very noticeable. I stopped crying, and for that brief time, I felt no pain whatsoever. Taking advantage of this blessed reprieve, I laid my head down to get some much needed peaceful rest.
As I drifted off into the stillness, I could tell that I was neither asleep, nor awake… but very conscious still. I could feel Christian trying to communicate with me. His presence was strong. I know he was trying to comfort me, but I couldn’t tell what he was saying. Concentrating hard to discern his message to me, I listened intently. And, as I listened, I was brought out of this twilight state and into the awakening awareness of an unusual, but sweet sound of a bird singing. Perplexed at what I was hearing, for it was so close to me, I got up to see what it was.
The Mysterious Singing Bird and my cat
Just outside my glass storm door, a beautiful bird sang to me as he sat on my front porch! It was amazing! This bird just sat there, while me and my cat looked and listened to its lovely songs. He even let me get some close-up pictures! He stayed for about 2 hours, just looking cute, while singing away. Then, without further ado, this beautiful sweet bird flew up to the roof, then off to the side of my yard and out of sight.
Grateful for this Godsend, I smiled.
Ceramic Bird Gift from Christian
As I sat on my couch, scratching my head about what had just happened, and how this was even possible, my eyes were directed to the fireplace. There, inconspicuously positioned, a ceramic bird sat, perched upon the mantle’s ledge. Confused, I thought, “What a coincidence!”
Then, I remembered… just one month before his death, Christian gave me this ceramic bird for a gift!!!
Commentary- Christian, trying to communicate and comfort me, put the symbol of the ceramic bird he had just given me, to good use. Tying the ceramic bird together with the real bird was a very nice touch on his part. It is true; the singing bird did comfort me by getting my mind off of my grief for a while. But… perhaps even more of a comfort to me was to know that Christian was alive and well, and had just come for one of his reassuring visits!
This serenading bird has never returned, but it made me smile that day. Even now, whenever I think about this mysterious bird, it still makes me smile, as, 3 years later, smiling has become much easier for me.
More Pictures-
My cat watching the audacity of that bird
The singing bird
The singing bird
Ariel View at Burning Man
With a full heart and exhausted body, I recently returned home from my ten-year anniversary trip to the Black Rock desert, where over 60,000 people from all over the world made their pilgrimage this year to be “welcomed home” to Black Rock City. Grateful was I because of the love, beauty and transformation I experienced there. Exhausted, because I didn’t want to close my eyes for one second, for fear I might have missed something completely amazing.
The fun on the Burning Man playa
Burning Man… a dusty desert and magical land of radical self-expression, self-reliance and inclusiveness is where I sojourned for eight days of unbelievable adventure. Within this amazing city, the pouring out of love could be witnessed almost everywhere as fun-loving citizens contributed their time, talents, wisdom and creativity to the mix. The results? An experience of synchronistic magic, miracles and fun, where wide-eyed participants ventured off onto the playa with all the innocence of little children.
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“I didn’t see that coming” is a common phrase said by someone who has been completely blind-sided by the unexpected. In this case, the unanticipated loss of something cherished. It is the mental, psychological and emotional energy created from this loss that forcefully thrusts us into a tailspin of thoughts and emotions we would rather not think and feel!
As humans, we operate as though life is predicable, never thinking that at any moment there could be a huge interruption in it that informs us otherwise. But, what’s really so is this; life is made up of a series of many random events that we have very little conscious control over. Sometimes we go for long periods of time without one unpleasant experience, then… something happens… and maybe we experience a long string of them.
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Stone angel crying in her grief
Grief is a normal response to a painful loss. Made up of many emotional states, the grief process is the inward journey we must take if we are to heal the pain associated with our loss.
Although this article is geared toward grief over the death of a loved one, the grief cycle is relevant for any loss. The grief process provides a natural way for us to recover from our loss and move forward.
Generally the grief cycle includes: shock and denial, bargaining, pain, anger, depression and finally, acceptance. However, depending on the individual and the circumstances involved, navigating this terrain can be much more complicated.
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