Category Archives: Death of a beloved

There is nothing more painful than the loss of a loved one, who has left a void in the minds, hearts, souls and lives of those who loved that one.

The Pact

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Jackie and Grandma make a pact together before Grandma crosses to the “other side.” In this after-death communication, Jackie receives a sign from her Grandma, proving that she really is listening when Jackie needs her the most.

Jackie shares the following-
“The majority of my life, I have had dreams that come true, seen things that others have not, and talked with deadlocked ones through dreams. A few years ago my Grandmother was dying of COPD. I visited with her very often in the final days. A couple of nights before she passed away, we were talking about this. She said she knew this about me. I confided in her, that, if after she passes and I am to speak out loud to her, that means I will be looking for a sign of her still being here, and… our agreement was that she will do whatever is in her power to respond in some way.”

“She did pass within that week. Nearly a year later, as we were approaching our first Christmas without Grandma. I was both sad and stressed that the holidays would soon be here, and knowing there would be no more Christmases with Grandma. I missed her so much. I was home alone and spoke out loud to my Grandmother. “You see, Grandma,…if you are here, this is it. I need a sign that you are still here and know what’s going on now. I will be looking for even the slightest of signs that you are able to show me that I’ve been heard.” Continue reading →

Love Continues On…

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After the tragic accident and eventual passing of her beloved boyfriend, Ardit, 19-year-old Albana, is comforted when she receives several messages from Ardit, in a dream.

It was mid August when Albana contacted me with her dream visitation and a question. The email read in part: “I saw a dream last night. I was in my grandparents’ room with my mum. In the bed, there was a little baby of 3 months. The baby was talking to us, and said our name.” Surprised by this, Albana suddenly asked, “Who are you?” The baby answered, saying, “I am Ardit!” (Ardit was her boyfriend who died 3 weeks earlier!)

Then, Albana asked me, “Is this a dream or real sign from him? During the time since his death, I have seen him in other dreams, saying to me that he loves me, he is fine, and begged me to forgive him. Help me to understand please.”

(In a reply to Albana, I write, in part)
“Hello Albana,
I’m sorry for your loss. It sounds like this is a sign. There may be some symbolism involved also. I would need more background information to determine what symbolism was being used. Like for example, the 3-month-old baby saying he was your boyfriend that died 3 weeks ago. If the death time would have been longer than 3 weeks, I would consider reincarnation, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.
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The Mysterious Singing Bird

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In an after-death communication, I am comforted when a mysterious bird lands on my front porch to serenade me with its beautiful songs.

It was Friday, May 28th, 2010, a day I remember well. It was two month after Christian’s death and I was still very raw with emotion from his shocking and untimely departure. I was alone in the house at the time, sitting on the couch… just crying my eyes out. My grief was so severe, I thought I might have been having a nervous breakdown at the time. I remember wondering if I would have to be hospitalized for my despondency and suicidal thoughts. The pain was exhausting.

Suddenly, without any explanation, a calm stillness fell over me. It was very noticeable. I stopped crying, and for that brief time, I felt no pain whatsoever. Taking advantage of this blessed reprieve, I laid my head down to get some much needed peaceful rest.

As I drifted off into the stillness, I could tell that I was neither asleep, nor awake… but very conscious still. I could feel Christian trying to communicate with me. His presence was strong. I know he was trying to comfort me, but I couldn’t tell what he was saying. Concentrating hard to discern his message to me, I listened intently. And, as I listened, I was brought out of this twilight state and into the awakening awareness of an unusual, but sweet sound of a bird singing. Perplexed at what I was hearing, for it was so close to me, I got up to see what it was.

The Mysterious Singing Bird and my cat

The Mysterious Singing Bird and my cat

Just outside my glass storm door, a beautiful bird sang to me as he sat on my front porch! It was amazing! This bird just sat there, while me and my cat looked and listened to its lovely songs. He even let me get some close-up pictures! He stayed for about 2 hours, just looking cute, while singing away. Then, without further ado, this beautiful sweet bird flew up to the roof, then off to the side of my yard and out of sight.

Grateful for this Godsend, I smiled.

Ceramic Bird Gift from Christian

Ceramic Bird Gift from Christian

As I sat on my couch, scratching my head about what had just happened, and how this was even possible, my eyes were directed to the fireplace. There, inconspicuously positioned, a ceramic bird sat, perched upon the mantle’s ledge. Confused, I thought, “What a coincidence!”

Then, I remembered… just one month before his death, Christian gave me this ceramic bird for a gift!!!

Commentary- Christian, trying to communicate and comfort me, put the symbol of the ceramic bird he had just given me, to good use. Tying the ceramic bird together with the real bird was a very nice touch on his part. It is true; the singing bird did comfort me by getting my mind off of my grief for a while. But… perhaps even more of a comfort to me was to know that Christian was alive and well, and had just come for one of his reassuring visits!

This serenading bird has never returned, but it made me smile that day. Even now, whenever I think about this mysterious bird, it still makes me smile, as, 3 years later, smiling has become much easier for me. 

More Pictures-

My cat watching the audacity of that bird

My cat watching the audacity of that bird

singing bird

The singing bird

Singing Bird

The singing bird

Higher-Self Communication

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There are times in our lives when we want or need to talk to a particular person in order to complete something of importance, BUT, actually doing so… may seem too difficult for us, if even impossible. Reasons for this lack of communication may include:

  • Not knowing the person well enough, so approaching them could be awkward or even embarrassing.
  • We speak different languages.
  • We’ve lost contact, with no way of locating them.
  • This person may live too far away, and maybe, even so far away that they are no longer on this planet.
  • The person we want or need to speak to isn’t in a good position to be contacted by us, or… if we did contact them, perhaps they would refuse to speak to us, or hear our message.
  • Or maybe… it is even our own pride that prevents us from speaking with them.
  • The one we want to speak to is an animal.

But, it’s possible that this is the most difficult one of all…

  • It could be that the issues between the two are so sticky, that every attempt to sort things through leaves those involved with an attitude of defensiveness and frustration, causing both to walk away while throwing their arms up in the air in sheer resignation!

You may have experienced this before. Completely discouraged by the many attempts to communicate, but to no avail, and now… you’ve finally given up the thought and hope that this issue between the two of you could ever be rectified.

But… whatever the circumstances are, it ends the same; you are left with the sense of the incompletion that continually hangs over your head, just begging to be resolved and put to rest.

More than likely, what you really wanted or needed to tell this person was something that you never got a chance to say; for example: to give an apology, to ask or accept forgiveness, to straighten something out, to make a request or to give them your love and/or blessings? Or maybe, you just wanted to be heard and were uncertain that you ever were in the past.
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In Memoriam Of Christian

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… whose life and untimely passing inspired the creation of this site. (Written in March 2013)

Christian, In my heart, I bring you flowers.

Christian, In my heart, I bring you flowers.

It was three years ago to this day that Christian, just twenty-five years of age, suddenly and unexpectedly passed away from a hemorrhaged arterial vascular mass in his brain. Fortunately for him, the painful process that led to his death was short-lived, as the time from onset to his passing only lasted approximately 45 minutes.

Although the process of Christian’s painful death was quick for the loved ones left behind, our painful experience of losing him was just beginning. Even though we were still alive, it was a kind of death for us made manifest in our attempts to live on without him.

Christian was an amazing contribution to this planet. His countenance radiated acceptance, patience and unconditional love. Whenever I got impatient or offended by someone’s words or actions, with the utmost of wisdom and compassion Christian would turn to me and say, “Choose love.” It was a bumper sticker he was referring to- one I picked up for him when I visited a Hindu Ashram in Taos, New Mexico, just 6 months earlier. But… it was also who he was and how he lived his life.

Christian’s death was shocking to those who knew and loved him. The impact of this loss left many to wonder why this amazing light upon the Earth would be taken at a time when the world needed light the most.
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The End Is Only The Beginning

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My incredible out-of-body experience while attending a past-life regression seminar in 2010, in Denver, Colorado, as published in Dr. Brian Weiss’s new book, Miracles Happen.

Dr. Brian Weiss at a conference I attended

Dr. Brian Weiss at a conference I attended

Preface-
I attended one of Dr. Weiss’s past-life regression seminars in 2010 in Denver, Colorado. Only seven months prior to this event, I lost my dear Christian to a sudden and unexpected death. It was the worst thing I had ever experienced and it left me a basket case, with so many painful thoughts and questions. At the same time, I had also spontaneously remembered a tragic past life with Christian, that had ended in a similar fashion, which left me feeling even worse.

Because I was so distraught about these losses, Christian’s aunt told me about Dr. Weiss and recommended that I go to an event, saying that maybe I would find some answers or at least feel better. I looked him up and read his books, and they gave me some peace of mind. But when I found out that he was going to be as close as Colorado, I took the opportunity to travel and attend his event. My experience there has helped me so much by changing my perspective.

A face in the clouds of consciousness

Past life regression consciousness

My Actual Experience-
It was the first regression of the day after Dr. Weiss had introduced himself and prepared us for what might be expected and experienced within the context of our time with him. When he put us into a deep state of hypnotic regression, of course I expected to go into a past life, just as I had done times before while listening to his regression CD.

I remember that he had just come to the part where he gives the suggestion to go back to the earliest childhood memory, which I did. Like a child, I found myself in wonder and anticipation of the adventure I would soon discover when he took me back to a previous life. What past-life clues and remnants would I uncover? What would they teach me about my life and myself?
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Simple Pleasures

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In this after-death communication, Elizabeth gets a surprise visitation when she wakes from her nap on one unsuspecting day,  .

Materializing Spirit

Materializing Spirit

One late afternoon while watching the television in her study, 88-year-old Elizabeth drifted off for a nap. Later, when waking up, but still in that fuzzy state of mind that exists between dreams and wakening, she opened her eyes to see the solid full-body profile of a man facing the dimming light still shining through her living room window. In the next room, only 15 feet away from her, she could hardly believe what she was seeing! Looking closer, she realized that the man her eyes were now sharply fixed upon, was her late husband, Robert, who had died just a few years earlier.

There he was, smiling, as he proudly put on that old favorite jacket he had always worn and loved, but had left behind, along with his body. Elizabeth, seeing the joy in Robert’s face as he donned his old favorite rag, and how fondly he remembered it, was glad that she hadn’t given it away to the thrift shop after his death. Then, within seconds, Robert began to fade, until he disappeared completely.

Commentary- The hypnogogic state is that hazy fuzzy state that is experienced just between sleep and waking. It is rather like the portal that connects this world with the next. Because of the blended realities in this portal, this is a prime time for visions and visitations from another world.

It was appropriate that Robert was facing away from Elizabeth, as not to scare her to death by looking directly at her. But it is possible, because of his lack of attention, that Robert wasn’t aware that Elizabeth was awake and watching him, or even there, for that matter, as his focus was solely on his old favorite jacket.

Although this after-dead communication was short and sweet, it was enough to let Elizabeth know that her beloved husband, was existing somewhere, just beyond this realm, and still enjoying the simple pleasures that this life provided.

Never Far From Home

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Out of Body Experience

Out of Body Experience

In what seemed to be a very strange dream, I was standing on the top of a very tall building, on the top of a very tall mountain, and looking down… I saw a mighty fall below me.

There were two of me there. There was the one who was just about to dive off the edge into the dark abyss, and… there was the other – very concerned me, warning me, if I took the plunge, it would be suicide, and I would surely die. And… to that, a smiling me shouted out, “Oh, no I won’t, ’cause I can fly!” just before diving off the edge into the deep night!

Flying in an out of body experience

Flying in an out of body experience

I watched her in wonder as she fell through space, so graceful; head first with arms extended. Then, just as she’d said she could, right before hitting the ground, this spiritual Superwoman did indeed take flight in the direction of her choosing, and I became her!

 

 

 

Window to the "other side"

Window to the “other side”

Who knows all the places I flew that night, but… I do remember one place in particular. I found myself hovering before a large beautifully framed window. “How curious,” I thought, as I looked at its surface. It reminded me of the window at Wendy Darling’s old London home, where Peter Pan periodically returned fresh from an adventure in Neverland, to look in on those he loved.

When my focus shifted from the outer window pane, my awareness was now being drawn deeply through the glass. In contrast to the darkness all around me, the room inside was brightly illuminated. As I scanned the elegant room filled with, what seemed to be a modest gathering of beings, I saw Christian sitting there. I noticed how happy he was as he turned to look up at the person standing to his right; and as usual, his smiling face was equally as bright as any light could ever be!
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Never Alone

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Ariel View at Burning Man

Ariel View at Burning Man

With a full heart and exhausted body, I recently returned home from my ten-year anniversary trip to the Black Rock desert, where over 60,000 people from all over the world made their pilgrimage this year to be “welcomed home” to Black Rock City. Grateful was I because of the love, beauty and transformation I experienced there. Exhausted, because I didn’t want to close my eyes for one second, for fear I might have missed something completely amazing.

The fun on the Burning Man playa- people having fun

The fun on the Burning Man playa

Burning Man… a dusty desert and magical land of radical self-expression, self-reliance and inclusiveness is where I sojourned for eight days of unbelievable adventure. Within this amazing city, the pouring out of love could be witnessed almost everywhere as fun-loving citizens contributed their time, talents, wisdom and creativity to the mix. The results? An experience of synchronistic magic, miracles and fun, where wide-eyed participants ventured off onto the playa with all the innocence of little children.
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“I Didn’t See That Coming!”

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“I didn’t see that coming” is a common phrase said by someone who has been completely blind-sided by the unexpected. In this case, the unanticipated loss of something cherished. It is the mental, psychological and emotional energy created from this loss that forcefully thrusts us into a tailspin of thoughts and emotions we would rather not think and feel!

As humans, we operate as though life is predicable, never thinking that at any moment there could be a huge interruption in it that informs us otherwise. But, what’s really so is this; life is made up of a series of many random events that we have very little conscious control over. Sometimes we go for long periods of time without one unpleasant experience, then… something happens… and maybe we experience a long string of them.
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Dennis Returns to Say “Hi”

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In an interesting after-death communication, Dennis returns to say “hi” to Susan.

A few years after her boyfriend, Dennis’ death, Susan’s father was in the hospital preparing to die. Susan, sitting with her father in his last moments before death, asked her father, “When you die, go tell Dennis to come and say hi to me so I know he is still alive… somewhere out there.” Not long after, Susan’s father passed away.

With Susan’s father’s death, there was a funeral to plan and attend, and busy with life, Susan forgot all about the request she made of her father.

About two weeks later, Susan had a dream. In her dream, Susan was driving her car down a familiar road when she saw Dennis, who was the driver in another car passing her in the opposite direction. Excited by seeing him, she said, “That looks just like Dennis!” But after having passed each other so quickly, she looked in her rear view mirror to continue her view. There Dennis was, looking back in his rear view mirror and waving “hi” to Susan as he drove down the road.
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Adversity… Susan’s Growth through Tragedy

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Susan’s story of losing her partner, the love of her life, to death in a brutal explosion and her victory over adversity.

At 47, Susan had finally found the love of her life in Dennis, and he with Susan too. Strongly committed to their relationship, they expected to spend the rest of their lives together. But 4 1/2 years into their relationship together, the day came when Dennis and Susan’s world would tragically change.

Dennis was a painter by trade. He owned his own business and just happened to employ Susan’s former husband, Neil. At work, on this one fateful day, Dennis had a small oil-based paint job to finish. Dennis, having some other things to do, asked Neil to finish the job. But Neil, not wanting to use the oil-based paint, declined and went outside to eat his lunch instead. So needing to get the job done, Dennis decided to go ahead with it. After all, someone had to do it.

As Dennis began to spray, and being too close to a furnace, within minutes, an explosion occurred.  Badly burned and injured, but still alive, Dennis was rushed to the hospital in an attempt to save his life.
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Coping with Death

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…and the road ahead.

A lone road

The Road Ahead

I heard the shocking news last week; Randy, a long-time friend of mine had suffered a fatal heart attack. Grateful that a mutual friend remembered to notify me, I was able to attend the “life celebration” held in his honor.

As I listened to the sentimental stories people shared from the microphone, I couldn’t help but hear the other side of this, and how much his physical presence would be missed in the every day lives of others, especially, those closest to him.
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Christian’s Visit

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In an auditory after-death communication, Christian shows up for his 2-year anniversary.

It was March 31st all day yesterday. Christian’s death and birthday, 2 years ago. Shortly after 11 am, I looked at the place on the floor where Christian had struggled for his life, exactly 2 years earlier, while he assured a hysterical me, that he would be alright. By noon, he had left this world. The doctor said it was an arterial vascular mass that caused his brain to suddenly hemorrhage.

The day ticked by, and being an important date to those of us left on Earth, I was excited about the possibility that he would make an appearance. Surely, he would know how much that would mean to us, on this bittersweet occasion.
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Grandpa’s Three Visitors

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Anthony, age 24, recalls Grandma’s story of Grandpa’s three mysterious visitors.

Grandpa's gate by the garden

Grandpa’s gate by the garden

Years ago, when my Grandpa was still living, he had a peculiar experience. In the wee hours of morning, Grandpa sat up in bed and waking Grandma, told her of his dream. He dreamed there were three men waiting for him by the back gate, in the garden, where his rose bushes were.

But, Grandma, thinking it was just a dream, told him to go back to sleep. So, Grandpa did.
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