Category Archives: Possibility

Possibility is fragile as it is the birth of an actual everyday miracle. Nurture it into existence.

What is it Like to Lose a Child?

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In this heart-wrenching post, Rebecca answers this unthinkable question, What is it like to lose a child? After having him for 23 years, Rebecca lost Kenny on July 6, 2012. She has been working through her grief ever since. One day last summer, she found the website, Quora, and saw, of all questions in front of her… this one. There it was… Rebecca’s invitation to share her most private and deepest thoughts and feelings with all the world. 

Quora asks: What is it like to lose a child?

Rebecca’s reply:
“This is a tough question to answer as it brings all the pain I try to push back (he’s just on a long vacation; he’s busy with work, etc., AKA denial) with as much force as I can muster, until I’m lying in bed alone with my thoughts, trying to hold on to every detail I can about him. The fear of forgetting his voice one day drives me insane.” 

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Portals of Possibility

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When Kristen opens herself to a new romantic relationship, the power of possibility is everywhere! Discover the true magic behind opening the portals of possibility.

Kristen, literally riding off into the wild blue yonder on a tram at Snowbird, Utah, like 3 years ago. When I took this snapshot, who knew it was for this post?

“Whee!!! Keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times!”, Kristen laughs. And with “out of this world” excitement, she attempts to describe the ride she is currently a passenger on inside her new love affair. It’s a ride that’s whisking her off into the realm of the wild blue yonder.

Trying to further capture the exhilaration of her mental state, Kristen uses another analogy, “I don’t know how this is going to play out, but I’m on the river with my hands in the air, not fighting the direction of its flow!” And flowing she goes.

Smiling as I notice her obvious euphoria, and as if choosing an entree from a cosmic menu, I say to myself, “I’ll have some of what she’s having, please!”

As I thought about her state of mind, I couldn’t help but wonder what was creating this wondrous condition. It was as though she was high on something, but what was it? Continue reading →

Choosing Love

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"choosing love" meme

“Keep choosing love” meme

Choosing love doesn’t mean we won’t ever be hurt, disappointed or angry with someone. To ignore our feelings in the face of an upset would be inauthentic, since feelings are a natural part of being human. Choosing love only means that after we have fully acknowledged and experienced our feelings, that we allow the painful emotional energy to move quickly through us. This completion process is what makes healing possible, so we can get back to the business of experiencing our feelings of love again.

Choosing love doesn’t mean we have to share the same beliefs and values as another. It doesn’t mean we have to agree or have the same opinion either. In a world with so much diversity as ours, how could we all see things from exactly the same point of view?
Choosing love only means that we allow another to have his or her perspective, as well.

Choosing love doesn’t mean we have to like the choices people make or actions that they take. Many times we won’t. But, who are we to think someone should live his or her life according to all our expectations anyway? Choosing love only means that we still love them, even if we don’t approve.

Choosing love doesn’t mean you have to forget that someone hurt or violated you or someone you love, although you probably wish you could. Choosing love just means that to heal, forgiveness may be in order… not just for them, but especially for yourself; so you can find peace.
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In Memoriam Of Christian

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… whose life and untimely passing inspired the creation of this site. (Written in March 2013)

Christian, In my heart, I bring you flowers.

Christian, In my heart, I bring you flowers.

It was three years ago to this day that Christian, just twenty-five years of age, suddenly and unexpectedly passed away from a hemorrhaged arterial vascular mass in his brain. Fortunately for him, the painful process that led to his death was short-lived, as the time from onset to his passing only lasted approximately 45 minutes.

Although the process of Christian’s painful death was quick for the loved ones left behind, our painful experience of losing him was just beginning. Even though we were still alive, it was a kind of death for us made manifest in our attempts to live on without him.

Christian was an amazing contribution to this planet. His countenance radiated acceptance, patience and unconditional love. Whenever I got impatient or offended by someone’s words or actions, with the utmost of wisdom and compassion Christian would turn to me and say, “Choose love.” It was a bumper sticker he was referring to- one I picked up for him when I visited a Hindu Ashram in Taos, New Mexico, just 6 months earlier. But… it was also who he was and how he lived his life.

Christian’s death was shocking to those who knew and loved him. The impact of this loss left many to wonder why this amazing light upon the Earth would be taken at a time when the world needed light the most.
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Self-Image

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How you see yourself meme

How you see yourself meme

“Hold a picture of yourself long and steadily enough in your mind’s eye and you will be drawn toward it. Picture yourself vividly as defeated and that alone will make victory impossible. Picture yourself vividly as winning and that alone will contribute immeasurably to success. Great living starts with a picture, held in your imagination, of what you would like to do or be.” -Dr. Harry Emerson Fosdick

Is there an aspect of your personality that gives you grief? According to Dr. Maltz, you can change it in just 21 days by following these instruction!

The following practice exercise is a tool made popular by a plastic surgeon named Dr. Maxwell Maltz, who, in his many years of operating on people, noticed that it was impossible to alter a person’s face without altering a person’s inner self, too. This parallel between the outer and inner connected self led to an epiphany that spurred Dr. Maltz’s famous breakthrough work on self-image, self-esteem and the science of the mind, known as Psycho-Cybernetics.

If you want to change something about your personality, whether you are shy, unsuccessful, unmotivated, unhappy or maybe, there is something else you are working on, give this a try. Dr. Maxwell Maltz claims positive and noticeable changes to self-image in only 3 weeks by practicing 30 minutes each day. It takes that long to form a habit. The key to this success is to fool your nervous system by building “new memories” or stored data into your mid-brain and central nervous system.
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Saving the World…

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Atlas lifting the world

Atlas lifting the world

… and life’s other fun activities!

A few weeks ago, I joined a fitness club; I figured it was time. Concerned that if I didn’t keep moving, someday I wouldn’t be able to move at all. So faithfully I went to the gym everyday to lift some weights and get back into the swing of things.

After not belonging to a gym for, at least, a decade and a half, I was pumping iron like I was preparing for an upcoming Zombie apocalypse! It actually felt good, as I had missed the kind of energy that comes from a good workout.

So there I was, working out and enjoying some newfound energy… but… “what was the commotion going on in the room next door,” I thought to myself, where I could hear loud music and people having so much fun? With my curiosity piqued, I walked over to look through the wall of windows separating one room from the other. I pretended not to stare too obviously as I tried to figure it out.

people doing Zumba

people doing Zumba

As it turned out, Zumba, the Latin dance workout, was just ending for the hour, resulting in a bunch of sweaty, but smiling women leaving the studio. During all my years of gym inactivity, I had heard of the word, Zumba, but never actually knew what it was or seen it in action. Back at the gym now, and determined to be part of this fun, I returned later that night for a class, excited and ready to go!

Being a beginner, I cautiously took the back row. The upside was that I couldn’t be seen by all of those really experienced Zumba dancers in front of me; the downside was that I could barely see the instructor! Well, my determination and excitement was short-lived as I only lasted about 5 minutes before exiting the room… embarrassed, out of breath and clutching my side.  (Gosh, did I really just admit to that?)
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Surrender

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Knight in Battle

Knight in Battle

It’s not always about being cowardly as you raise up the white flag in surrender. It’s not always about ending the long battle in defeat with your head hung low in shame.

Surrender may be about courageously getting off your “high horse” for the possibility of seeing another point of view.

And sometimes…  surrendering the old perception for this fresh new point of view is exactly what is needed for your greatest and highest good.

The Wall of Mystery

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A great wall of mystery

A great wall of mystery

“There is an ancient story in the East that tells that there was a wall of mystery. Whenever anyone tried to climb up the wall to look at the other side, he smiled and jumped over, and never came back again. So the people of that country became very curious to know what mystery was behind the wall. Once when someone was climbing up the wall to see what was on the other side, they put chains on his feet, and held him so that he would not go over. When he looked at the other side, he too was delighted with what he saw and smiled; and those standing at the foot of the wall; curious to know what he had to say, pulled him back. But to their great disappointment he had lost his speech.”  (Excerpt taken from The Music of Life by Hazrat Inayat Khan)

Since the beginning of time, mystics have sought the answers to the many mysteries of life. Much of that time has been spent in endless speculation. But perhaps the greatest of all life’s mysteries is that of death.
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Waking from the Dream…

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A Soul’s Perspective

(This poem came to a broken-hearted me, three months after Christian’s death. Showing me another perspective, it was a welcome gift of cheer, comfort and relief given to me from a higher aspect of myself)

I dreamed I was a body,
and you, a body too.
I dreamed bad things could happen,
both, to me and you.

I dreamed that there was sickness,
that death and loss were real.
I dreamed we could be separate,
Oh! … the pain that we could feel!
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Grieving a Sudden/Unexpected Death

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This is my experience about how I eventually transformed the terrible darkness of despair and healed as I chose to enter into the light. How did I do it? I rose to my highest and strongest self and chose LOVE and LIGHT, rather then sinking to my lowest and weakest self, and allowing FEAR and BITTERNESS to overcome me. 

Here is my story on… How to grieve the sudden and unexpected death of a loved one…

When you hear the news, you simply refuse to believe what their mouth is saying and what your ears are hearing. Perhaps all sounds will cease and you will be left with only the motion of their mouth moving as shock and denial set in.

Emotions swell quickly. You know…. the ones you would rather not feel. The ones you’ve worked so hard all your life to avoid. No one likes these ones but nevertheless, it doesn’t stop them from coming forth with unabashed fury and intensity. Oh, this is intense! Breathe.
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The birth of a blog… griefandmourning.com

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Jade, author of Griefandmourning.com

Jade, author of Griefandmourning.com

Welcome! Thank you for visiting Griefandmourning.com!

My name is jade.

How I came to have this website/blog was most unexpected.

A few days before Thanksgiving of 2011, I was having a phone conversation with my adult son, Chris, who lives in another state. I was discussing the challenges I was facing with writing my very first book, which is a current work in progress. I explained that my story is complex, so the compilation of it is difficult since it contains copious amounts of detailed information that has been given to me with regards to some of my more intensely profound spiritual/human experiences. These experiences that I call “Holy Moments” have spanned over the last four plus years of my book, but have actually been an occurrence throughout my whole life. If you have had them, you know what I’m taking about.
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