Category Archives: AllPosts

All posts in griefandmourning.com related to loss, death, after-death communication, near-death experience, out of body experience and all that is related to healing and the “other side.”

Choosing Love

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"choosing love" meme

“Keep choosing love” meme

Choosing love doesn’t mean we won’t ever be hurt, disappointed or angry with someone. To ignore our feelings in the face of an upset would be inauthentic, since feelings are a natural part of being human. Choosing love only means that after we have fully acknowledged and experienced our feelings, that we allow the painful emotional energy to move quickly through us. This completion process is what makes healing possible, so we can get back to the business of experiencing our feelings of love again.

Choosing love doesn’t mean we have to share the same beliefs and values as another. It doesn’t mean we have to agree or have the same opinion either. In a world with so much diversity as ours, how could we all see things from exactly the same point of view?
Choosing love only means that we allow another to have his or her perspective, as well.

Choosing love doesn’t mean we have to like the choices people make or actions that they take. Many times we won’t. But, who are we to think someone should live his or her life according to all our expectations anyway? Choosing love only means that we still love them, even if we don’t approve.

Choosing love doesn’t mean you have to forget that someone hurt or violated you or someone you love, although you probably wish you could. Choosing love just means that to heal, forgiveness may be in order… not just for them, but especially for yourself; so you can find peace.
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In Memoriam Of Christian

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… whose life and untimely passing inspired the creation of this site. (Written in March 2013)

Christian, In my heart, I bring you flowers.

Christian, In my heart, I bring you flowers.

It was three years ago to this day that Christian, just twenty-five years of age, suddenly and unexpectedly passed away from a hemorrhaged arterial vascular mass in his brain. Fortunately for him, the painful process that led to his death was short-lived, as the time from onset to his passing only lasted approximately 45 minutes.

Although the process of Christian’s painful death was quick for the loved ones left behind, our painful experience of losing him was just beginning. Even though we were still alive, it was a kind of death for us made manifest in our attempts to live on without him.

Christian was an amazing contribution to this planet. His countenance radiated acceptance, patience and unconditional love. Whenever I got impatient or offended by someone’s words or actions, with the utmost of wisdom and compassion Christian would turn to me and say, “Choose love.” It was a bumper sticker he was referring to- one I picked up for him when I visited a Hindu Ashram in Taos, New Mexico, just 6 months earlier. But… it was also who he was and how he lived his life.

Christian’s death was shocking to those who knew and loved him. The impact of this loss left many to wonder why this amazing light upon the Earth would be taken at a time when the world needed light the most.
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Overcoming Fear- Facing Inner Demons

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Cartoon about comparing Inner Demons

Cartoon about comparing Inner Demons

They’re Ba-ack! I thought I’d already sent them packing once and for all, but apparently they didn’t listen very well. One thing is for sure; they expect you to listen perfectly to them! That’s why they come to catch you in a weak moment… and cornering you within the confines of your own head, relentlessly recite your past mistakes to you; like you somehow weren’t already aware of them! They tell you why you should or shouldn’t have done what you did, followed by a judgment… or five about it! You know, those errors you made in the past when you were young and less experienced. Or… even just yesterday, when you were unaware and didn’t consider every other possible choice than the one you did, and because you didn’t, this left you in a bad spot.

Maybe you’ve noticed them before… those critical voices in your head, that, like the mob coming to extort, yet, another payment from you, badger you, sometimes in a soft and subtle way, and sometimes in a loud and abrupt one. But either way, it all ends the same… they want you to pay for something. Even if you have already paid before, they forget… or don’t care… and come back for more! Their favorite currency is in the form of your guilt, shame and regret. So, unless you are blissfully unaware, conscience-less and don’t care, or have already learned the secret to making them stop, then… welcome to this awesome human experience! (kidding off course)

Throughout time, these disparaging voices have been referred to as, “the critical parent”, “the judge and jury”, “the committee”, or “inner demons”, just to name a few. And because they can be so damn mean, leave some convinced that these “mental tormentors” are really “outer demons”… as who would really do this to oneself?
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Lessons From the Geese

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geese flying in formation

geese flying in formation

… a message from geese about how people can practice working together.

As each bird flaps it’s wings, it creates an uplift for others behind him. There is 71% more flying range in V-formation than flying alone.
Lesson: People who share a common direction and sense of common purpose can get there quicker.

Whenever a goose flies out of formation, it quickly feels the drag and tries to get back in position.
Lesson: It’s harder to do something alone than together.

When the lead goose gets tired, it rotates back into the formation and another goose flies at the head.
Lesson: Shared leadership and interdependence give us each a chance to lead as well as opportunities to rest.

The geese in formation honk from behind to encourage those in front to keep up their speed.
Lesson: We need to make sure our honking is encouraging and not discouraging.

When a goose gets sick or wounded and falls, two geese fall out and stay with it until it revives or dies. Then, they catch up or join another flock.
Lesson: Stand by your people in difficult times, as well as in good.

(Lessons from the Geese, was written in 1972 by Dr. Robert McNeish of Baltimore. Dr. McNeish, for many years a science teacher before he became involved in school administration, had been intrigued with observing geese for years and first wrote the piece for a sermon he delivered in his church.)

If we could all work together… just think about how much we could do, and how far we could go. The sky’s the limit when we’re united in cooperation!

The End Is Only The Beginning

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My incredible out-of-body experience while attending a past-life regression seminar in 2010, in Denver, Colorado, as published in Dr. Brian Weiss’s new book, Miracles Happen.

Dr. Brian Weiss at a conference I attended

Dr. Brian Weiss at a conference I attended

Preface-
I attended one of Dr. Weiss’s past-life regression seminars in 2010 in Denver, Colorado. Only seven months prior to this event, I lost my dear Christian to a sudden and unexpected death. It was the worst thing I had ever experienced and it left me a basket case, with so many painful thoughts and questions. At the same time, I had also spontaneously remembered a tragic past life with Christian, that had ended in a similar fashion, which left me feeling even worse.

Because I was so distraught about these losses, Christian’s aunt told me about Dr. Weiss and recommended that I go to an event, saying that maybe I would find some answers or at least feel better. I looked him up and read his books, and they gave me some peace of mind. But when I found out that he was going to be as close as Colorado, I took the opportunity to travel and attend his event. My experience there has helped me so much by changing my perspective.

A face in the clouds of consciousness

Past life regression consciousness

My Actual Experience-
It was the first regression of the day after Dr. Weiss had introduced himself and prepared us for what might be expected and experienced within the context of our time with him. When he put us into a deep state of hypnotic regression, of course I expected to go into a past life, just as I had done times before while listening to his regression CD.

I remember that he had just come to the part where he gives the suggestion to go back to the earliest childhood memory, which I did. Like a child, I found myself in wonder and anticipation of the adventure I would soon discover when he took me back to a previous life. What past-life clues and remnants would I uncover? What would they teach me about my life and myself?
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Out of Body Experiences

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out of body experience

out of body experience

Have you ever had a dream so real that you thought you were actually there? Have you ever felt a tingling feeling or vibration, followed by a sensation of floating out of your body as you drifted off for a nap? Have you ever found yourself consciously aware and interacting inside a dream, as opposed to watching the usual non-sensical images flash by behind your eyelids? If so, you may have had an out-of-body experience!

It is said that 1 out of 10 people have had, at least one OBE in their lifetime, while others in that same group have experienced this phenomenon many times. The truth is, although waking OBE’s are more rare, compared to those occurring in a sleep state, it is quite common for anyone to experience an OBE in a sleep state, it’s just that, 1) we don’t always remember them, and 2) if we do, we often pass the OBE off as a really clear and vivid dream, if left undistinguished.
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Simple Pleasures

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In this after-death communication, Elizabeth gets a surprise visitation when she wakes from her nap on one unsuspecting day,  .

Materializing Spirit

Materializing Spirit

One late afternoon while watching the television in her study, 88-year-old Elizabeth drifted off for a nap. Later, when waking up, but still in that fuzzy state of mind that exists between dreams and wakening, she opened her eyes to see the solid full-body profile of a man facing the dimming light still shining through her living room window. In the next room, only 15 feet away from her, she could hardly believe what she was seeing! Looking closer, she realized that the man her eyes were now sharply fixed upon, was her late husband, Robert, who had died just a few years earlier.

There he was, smiling, as he proudly put on that old favorite jacket he had always worn and loved, but had left behind, along with his body. Elizabeth, seeing the joy in Robert’s face as he donned his old favorite rag, and how fondly he remembered it, was glad that she hadn’t given it away to the thrift shop after his death. Then, within seconds, Robert began to fade, until he disappeared completely.

Commentary- The hypnogogic state is that hazy fuzzy state that is experienced just between sleep and waking. It is rather like the portal that connects this world with the next. Because of the blended realities in this portal, this is a prime time for visions and visitations from another world.

It was appropriate that Robert was facing away from Elizabeth, as not to scare her to death by looking directly at her. But it is possible, because of his lack of attention, that Robert wasn’t aware that Elizabeth was awake and watching him, or even there, for that matter, as his focus was solely on his old favorite jacket.

Although this after-dead communication was short and sweet, it was enough to let Elizabeth know that her beloved husband, was existing somewhere, just beyond this realm, and still enjoying the simple pleasures that this life provided.

Washing the Stress Away

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Ocean washing away the word stress written in the sand

Washing away the stress

Far too often, clients coming for massage therapy complain of all the aches and pain stored within their bodies. Laying themselves upon my soft padded massage table, they begin to unwind and breathe deeper as I work out the stored energy pent up in their muscle tissue. With every breath of relief, and every trigger point released, deeper relaxation sets in, as the body returns more to its natural state of peacefulness.

In my experience, I’ve discovered that, for many people, stress seems to originate at work; the problem being… they are always at work, 24/7! So wrapped up in their work life; trying to do a good job, earning a living, trying to get along with all the different personalities, or working for that promotion, they forget about any life outside of work! The bigger problem in all of this is the mistake of bringing work home. Some people aren’t even aware they are doing this, until the moment they are, and believe me… I have seen some shocked faces when they get it!

Think of it this way, the average person works 40 hours a week. Try this. Whatever amount you get paid per hour at work, instead of that, think about dividing your hourly wage into the 168 hours that make up one full week and see how much you are really getting paid for bringing your work everywhere you are! It’s hardly worth it! Not to mention the stressful impact your work-related thoughts and feelings have on your mind and body.
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Self-Image

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How you see yourself meme

How you see yourself meme

“Hold a picture of yourself long and steadily enough in your mind’s eye and you will be drawn toward it. Picture yourself vividly as defeated and that alone will make victory impossible. Picture yourself vividly as winning and that alone will contribute immeasurably to success. Great living starts with a picture, held in your imagination, of what you would like to do or be.” -Dr. Harry Emerson Fosdick

Is there an aspect of your personality that gives you grief? According to Dr. Maltz, you can change it in just 21 days by following these instruction!

The following practice exercise is a tool made popular by a plastic surgeon named Dr. Maxwell Maltz, who, in his many years of operating on people, noticed that it was impossible to alter a person’s face without altering a person’s inner self, too. This parallel between the outer and inner connected self led to an epiphany that spurred Dr. Maltz’s famous breakthrough work on self-image, self-esteem and the science of the mind, known as Psycho-Cybernetics.

If you want to change something about your personality, whether you are shy, unsuccessful, unmotivated, unhappy or maybe, there is something else you are working on, give this a try. Dr. Maxwell Maltz claims positive and noticeable changes to self-image in only 3 weeks by practicing 30 minutes each day. It takes that long to form a habit. The key to this success is to fool your nervous system by building “new memories” or stored data into your mid-brain and central nervous system.
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The Exit Interview

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Normally, when you hear the words, “exit Interview” you think of the final survey conducted when one is leaving a job or organization… but this “exit interview” is something quite different.

“The Exit Interview” is a excellent personal inventory tool that assists two main groups of people; those nearing the end of life’s journey who are preparing themselves for the afterlife, AND… those intending to leave their past behind who are preparing themselves for starting of a brand new life – while still in this life! Although the destinations may be a little different, the process of leaving the past behind through completion is exactly the same.

When seriously reflected on and completed in it’s entirety, “The Exit Interview” is a powerful process that allows one to consciously face their past by way of observation, assessment and realization. This new awareness leads to the discovery of what, if anything, needs to be handled, settled and/or restored, before one is completely satisfied in moving forward.

Full completion of “The Exit Interview” acts like a reset button in ways, by allowing one to free themselves up by taking the appropriate actions to tie up the loose ends that have been left undone, making those areas of your life complete. Carrying out the last words and actions directed at restoring what has been found missing and/or straightening what has been messed up, goes a long way in cleaning and clearing up the past.
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Saving the World…

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Atlas lifting the world

Atlas lifting the world

… and life’s other fun activities!

A few weeks ago, I joined a fitness club; I figured it was time. Concerned that if I didn’t keep moving, someday I wouldn’t be able to move at all. So faithfully I went to the gym everyday to lift some weights and get back into the swing of things.

After not belonging to a gym for, at least, a decade and a half, I was pumping iron like I was preparing for an upcoming Zombie apocalypse! It actually felt good, as I had missed the kind of energy that comes from a good workout.

So there I was, working out and enjoying some newfound energy… but… “what was the commotion going on in the room next door,” I thought to myself, where I could hear loud music and people having so much fun? With my curiosity piqued, I walked over to look through the wall of windows separating one room from the other. I pretended not to stare too obviously as I tried to figure it out.

people doing Zumba

people doing Zumba

As it turned out, Zumba, the Latin dance workout, was just ending for the hour, resulting in a bunch of sweaty, but smiling women leaving the studio. During all my years of gym inactivity, I had heard of the word, Zumba, but never actually knew what it was or seen it in action. Back at the gym now, and determined to be part of this fun, I returned later that night for a class, excited and ready to go!

Being a beginner, I cautiously took the back row. The upside was that I couldn’t be seen by all of those really experienced Zumba dancers in front of me; the downside was that I could barely see the instructor! Well, my determination and excitement was short-lived as I only lasted about 5 minutes before exiting the room… embarrassed, out of breath and clutching my side.  (Gosh, did I really just admit to that?)
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Never Far From Home

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Out of Body Experience

Out of Body Experience

In what seemed to be a very strange dream, I was standing on the top of a very tall building, on the top of a very tall mountain, and looking down… I saw a mighty fall below me.

There were two of me there. There was the one who was just about to dive off the edge into the dark abyss, and… there was the other – very concerned me, warning me, if I took the plunge, it would be suicide, and I would surely die. And… to that, a smiling me shouted out, “Oh, no I won’t, ’cause I can fly!” just before diving off the edge into the deep night!

Flying in an out of body experience

Flying in an out of body experience

I watched her in wonder as she fell through space, so graceful; head first with arms extended. Then, just as she’d said she could, right before hitting the ground, this spiritual Superwoman did indeed take flight in the direction of her choosing, and I became her!

 

 

 

Window to the "other side"

Window to the “other side”

Who knows all the places I flew that night, but… I do remember one place in particular. I found myself hovering before a large beautifully framed window. “How curious,” I thought, as I looked at its surface. It reminded me of the window at Wendy Darling’s old London home, where Peter Pan periodically returned fresh from an adventure in Neverland, to look in on those he loved.

When my focus shifted from the outer window pane, my awareness was now being drawn deeply through the glass. In contrast to the darkness all around me, the room inside was brightly illuminated. As I scanned the elegant room filled with, what seemed to be a modest gathering of beings, I saw Christian sitting there. I noticed how happy he was as he turned to look up at the person standing to his right; and as usual, his smiling face was equally as bright as any light could ever be!
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Still Rambling On…

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In this after-death communication, we see how the decisions and choices of even the most stubbornly made-up minds, can be changed with the influence of a departed loved one, still existing in the realm beyond.

Home for Sale

Home for Sale

It was approximately two years before his death, that Lola’s husband, David, became preoccupied with the idea of getting a bigger and nicer, but more practical home for his family. To him, this meant purchasing a Rambler-style home, that eliminated the extra stairs of their tri-level home, with a big finished basement where his sons could spread out. But Lola, happy with the size of her current home, and the cost of the mortgage, didn’t see the need for anything more. In fact, if anything, she wanted to buy a smaller home with less of a mortgage payment.

From the time Lola met David, and all throughout the years of their marriage, she knew him as a quiet, but strong, in charge, no nonsense, macho-type man, who was insistent on getting his way. To illustrate this point, Lola shared an example. While watching television together, David had the habit of changing the channel many times, and sometimes, even within the same five minutes! Lola, having accepted the fact that rehabilitation was out of the question for her serial channel changer, learned to watch with patience, every and all the parts of the shows that David chose to watch.
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