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All posts in griefandmourning.com related to loss, death, after-death communication, near-death experience, out of body experience and all that is related to healing and the “other side.”

Those Yellow Trunks!

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The following after-death-communication is from Rebecca, the mother of Kenny, age 23, a brilliant young man who passed in his sleep from an accidental overdose.

“​I was awakened by my younger son and his father, Kevin, at 2:06 am on 7/7/12. Both were telling me that I had to get up and go upstairs.  I refused, I had a strong intuition that something was wrong with one of my children (I have 3).  Reluctantly, I walked upstairs to find 2 people from the Coroner’s office in my living room. I asked what they were doing in my house; I was told that my firstborn child, Kenneth Wayne McCormick III, my son who had graduated USC in 2011 and was living in Los Angeles to pursue his career, was ‘found by his roommates’ at about 7:00 p.m. on 7/6, a Friday evening.  They told me what the scene looked like in his apartment and that’s about all I can recall.  Somehow, later that same evening, I had closed my eyes in exhaustion and suddenly I was walking into my bedroom and there sat Kenny in a chair. I felt myself running to him and with a shriek I cried out, “I knew you wouldn’t leave me Kenny!!” Ken stood up and grabbed me into his arms and said, “Mom, I’m gone now.” The calmness in his voice compared to mine was astonishing.  “What do you mean??”, I screamed to him, “Please, please, Kenny, I can’t do this!! Please will you come back??” He pulled away from me and said, “MOM (his tone was strong, stern) I’ll be back, but not for a long time because SHE said I had a lot of work to do.”

Kenny hugged me, and I felt his head (he had a perfect head), the hug was a “Kenny” hug, a bear-like grasp. He looked right at me and said that he loved me and as I was holding on to him, BAM!!!, I woke up; I was still left with the feeling of his touch. I suddenly heard my daughter say, “Mom what are you doing? You are hugging the chair and nobody is in it.”
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Justin’s Note

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Pam had always cleaned the family tile and flooring shop that she and her husband owned. But because of physical pain, Pam was limited to no lifting when they were relocating the store. So Ryan, Pam’s eldest son, was doing the lifting for her. As Ryan lifted stacks of tiles off of the shelf, he noticed a crumbled piece of paper that fell to the floor. The place was a mess, and Ryan had no time to look at it. But, instead of allowing it to stay on the floor as something to be swept up later, something told him he’d better pick it up and look at it. Ryan was sure glad he did!

Dialing his mother back, Ryan said, “Are you coming this way? You might want to come this way. There’s a gift in an envelope on the board!”

By the sound of his voice, Pam knew it had something to do with Justin! (Justin was Pam’s son who had suddenly died in a skateboarding accident, in August, 2010.) With Pam excited by the possibility of seeing something of Justin’s, Joe, Pam’s husband, tried to ease her hopes with comments like, “Well, it could be.” But Pam was not deterred with anything he said. Such is a mother’s unrelenting hope!

When Pam arrived and as she approached the board, with gratitude, she broke down crying, as she discovered what she already knew… that her deceased son, Justin, had left her a note!
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There’s Nothing to Fear

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Wes writes the following after-death communication which occurred with his close friend, Miake.

“A few nights after I had moved back home to Forest Ranch, Ca from Eureka Ca, I woke up at 4 am in a frenzy about my very close lady friend, Miake M., whose house I had stayed at for the last three nights of my living in Eureka. I had the strongest intuitive feeling that something was very wrong with her. Where I was staying at my parents house- where I grew up, we had no telephone and cell phones didn’t work that far in the mountains either, so I got in the car and frantically drove three miles down the highway to ‘the phone call spot’ where the cell phone worked at the top of Platte Mountain. I was talking to myself on the way there saying ‘oh God, please don’t let it be so’ and such. When I got to the spot and called, a voice I didn’t recognize picked up. I was practically crying and in a frenzy said, ‘where’s Miake? What’s wrong?’ Only to find out that she was in the hospital in ICU and had swallowed a bottle of Norco in a moment of apparently, overwhelming despair and she was basically brain dead. Anyhow, a few weeks (?) later, I had a dream where I had a ‘phone call from heaven’ and it was her. I remember thinking I had so many questions to ask, but I think I didn’t know where to start.  Before I knew it, she had appeared before me. It was her, but a more perfected version of her, at peace and serene; like all the impurities and layers of negative experience and character traits she’d acquired in life were now gone. Of all the things that could be said, and I was expecting grand insights and tales of what it’s like after life, but all she said to me is this, “There’s nothing to fear. There’s nothing to fear”. I took it as religion is wrong, and the most hell experienced would be in a place where one is ‘burned’ of their impurities… and where they pay the price of any negative they’ve caused in life, and then return to the source as does everyone. Regardless, of my mere mortal perception, it was the best and only thing I suppose I could want to hear, if I could only hear one thing about death and where we go afterwards.”
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Healing From Death

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Albana writes to me of her deceased love, Ardit, when he appears in dreams, in two after-death-communications with Albana’s friends.

Yesterday my friend saw Ardit in her dreams. He was staring at a picture of us on the wall, and started crying, saying to her, “We were so beautiful together. How did I go like that and leave her alone?”

On another occasion, a few months later, Albana writes to me, “A strange thing happened. A friend of mine who knew Ardit, just from photos, saw him in her dream. In the dream, Ardit, me and my friend were in a room, but only my friend could see Ardit; I could not. Ardit told my friend, “Tell Albana that I am here with her all the time, and to not cry or be sad for me.” In the dream, I was wearing a pair of shoes, and when I walked they made a lot of noise. Ardit said to my friend, “Please tell Albana to remove those shoes, the noise is driving me crazy!!!!”

Commentary- It is not uncommon for deceased loved ones who want to get a message to the living, to go through other people; friends, family… and even perfect strangers. Perhaps it is the only way they can reach us at the time.
In the first dream, Ardit sorrowfully expresses his perspective on how fragile our existence in this life can be. He shares his regrets about the loss of “what once was”, and “what might have been.” Ardit’s words also point to the shocking eventuality that, even the “once living and full of life,” can so easily depart so suddenly and unexpectedly. Ardit’s words seem to indicate that, he too, is still adjusting to the newness of his death, and what he left behind.
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Business As Usual

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The following after-death-communication was sent in by a reader named Nancy.

photoXpress

photoXpress

My husband died on November 14, 1999. On January 10, 2000, I received a phone call from my husband in a dream. It was a lucid dream in which I tried desperately to ask my husband what day it was; I wanted to show proof that he had called. I said “Jack, today is January 10; you died on November 14.” I pled with him to tell me where he was – again, my aim being to prove I spoke with him. His only responses were those of normal conversations we had during his life. He would not respond to my questions; just continued to talk about work, daily tasks of the day, etc. I know in my soul that it was Jack – telling me “business as usual.” This is the most profound occurrence in my life. It is true.

Commentary- Lucid dreaming is a powerful way for deceased loved ones to communicate with us. The lucidity makes it easier for us to remember the messages given to us, when we awaken. Sometimes our loved ones come to give messages that are obvious and outright, while other times their messages are cryptic, symbolic, figurative and/or metaphorical, as in Nancy’s dream. Jack’s message was to assure his wife that the “other side” is not so different from this world, implying to her that he is fine and there is nothing for her to worry about. To her, Jack’s visit made all the difference in the world… this world!

“The Mix” by J.V.

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It was just another weekend up at the cabin that Pam and Joe planned to entertain their friends. But because of a fluke allergic reaction to an antibiotic, Pam was unable to attend, so Joe went ahead instead. Also… not so coincidentally, Justin, Pam’s son, being blown off by his friends, was left at home as well. Nevertheless, the circumstances of events enabled mother and son to spend one last precious weekend on Earth together.

The date was Saturday, August 28, 2010, when Pam noticed an infected cut from a skateboard injury on Justin’s leg. It was when Pam attempted to doctor her son’s wounds, over Justin’s adamant objections, that the following conversation took place…

Justin, who was just a few weeks from his 22nd birthday, teased his mother, “You don’t think I’m going to get out of here without a few bumps and scrapes, do you?” To that, Pam replied, “Justin! The 30-year-old version of you wants you to take care of yourself!”

“Mom?” Seeming to somehow know he needed to deliver this message, Justin said, “When I die… I want you to donate my organs.” “Well, when I die”, Pam chuckled, “I want you to donate my body to a cadaver lab and save some money!” Pam’s doctoring never happened that day, but an important conversation had.

JustinIt was 4:30 pm the next day, Sunday, August 29, 2010, that Justin handed his mother a Cd he made for her, entitled “The Mix” by J.V., Sweetness for Peace of Mind.” (The songs were a mix of Justin’s favorite tunes; a Cd that would become a most precious gift to a grieving, but grateful mother.)

Shortly after giving his mother this gift, Justin left the house to literally go – head-on into the skateboarding accident that would eventually claim his life.
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Signaling the End of Grief

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In an after-death communication, Christian sends a clear signal that it’s time for me to move on with my life.

It was in the wee hours of the morning, on June 9th, 2013, that a strange noise sounded in my house! Wondering what it could possibly be, it was discovered to be the ringtone on my phone! But… what a horrible sound it was that had replaced the beautiful ringtone that was Christian, playing guitar on one of the songs he had created, and played so well.

Confused by what had happened, I grabbed my phone to change the annoying ringtone back to “Skies”, the peaceful melody that reminded me of Christian, every time my phone rang.

I admit, I felt a little hurt and insulted to think that Christian would just remove his ringtone from my phone, as if to say… “Get on with your life, already!!”

Okay… so it had already been 3 years and 70 days since Christian’s death, but I was still experiencing grief. Not painful grief, at this point, but grief, nonetheless. Since Christian’s death had been such a big deal to me, deep sorrow was something I had expected to feel over the loss of him, until the day I died.

My phone rang again. It was the same annoying ringtone that woke me up, just hours earlier that day. Patiently, I changed it back again. I tested the “Skies” ringtone, but it was nowhere to be found. NOWHERE!!! I wondered why…
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Love Continues On…

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After the tragic accident and eventual passing of her beloved boyfriend, Ardit, 19-year-old Albana, is comforted when she receives several messages from Ardit, in a dream.

It was mid August when Albana contacted me with her dream visitation and a question. The email read in part: “I saw a dream last night. I was in my grandparents’ room with my mum. In the bed, there was a little baby of 3 months. The baby was talking to us, and said our name.” Surprised by this, Albana suddenly asked, “Who are you?” The baby answered, saying, “I am Ardit!” (Ardit was her boyfriend who died 3 weeks earlier!)

Then, Albana asked me, “Is this a dream or real sign from him? During the time since his death, I have seen him in other dreams, saying to me that he loves me, he is fine, and begged me to forgive him. Help me to understand please.”

(In a reply to Albana, I write, in part)
“Hello Albana,
I’m sorry for your loss. It sounds like this is a sign. There may be some symbolism involved also. I would need more background information to determine what symbolism was being used. Like for example, the 3-month-old baby saying he was your boyfriend that died 3 weeks ago. If the death time would have been longer than 3 weeks, I would consider reincarnation, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.
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The Beauty of Brain Patterns

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In my last post, Running With The Bulls, I mentioned how a once alive, beautiful 3D experience, given time, eventually integrates and turns into nothing more than a mere memory of something we already know. For example, the birth of a newborn baby. When my first baby was born, I had to take a million pictures of this amazing little, pink creature. My husband and I captured every possible expression that that kid made! We were so enthralled with the creation of our little miracle, that suddenly existed.

Then… there was the second child. Not that we loved her any less, but, you see… we already knew what a miracle looked like. Still… we took a lot of pictures of this adorable little one, but we didn’t quite capture every expression, like we did with the first one! You see, we had already started to become accustomed to the idea of this type of miracle, for we had experienced it once before. And… because of this… we didn’t need to be so present and amazed anymore.

When I thought about how an actual, real live 3D miracle was destined to become part of a person’s brain pattern, this used to really bother me. “How sad.” I’d think. “Why were we created this way? Where is the wisdom in this? Why can’t we be present to such miraculousness all of the time?”
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Running With the Bulls

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On a recent trip to my dentist, Dr. Clint told me about an experience he had, just a few weeks earlier.

Having been on the “bucket list” of one of Dr. Clint’s old High School friends, his buddy suggested that he, Dr. Clint and another High School friend go on an adventure to Spain.

photo credit: sfgate.com

photo credit: sfgate.com

So now, in their mid 40’s, Dr. Clint and two old best friends took the plunge, when they flew out to Spain in July to go “Running with the bulls!”

All dressed in the appropriate “bull-running” attire, Dr. Clint and his two friends waited on the narrow street for the bulls to catch up to them, so they could have the harrowing experience of running along side of these ferocious beasts… that is… if they didn’t get maimed by one or more!

finance.yahoo.com

photo credit: finance.yahoo.com

Although the whole run, with over 100 participants and 12 bulls, lasted only 4 minutes, Dr. Clint said it was the most terrifying, but best 4 minutes of his life! By the time they ran down the narrow street that corralled them into an arena, Dr. Clint and his friends thought they were finally “out of the woods”… or “streets”, should I say, and wanted to hop the fence to leave, but both police and Spaniards alike, shoed any participants wanting to get out, off the fence, and back into the arena!

That wouldn’t have been so bad, I guess, except the bulls had also been let into the arena too, and as one of Dr. Clint’s friends glanced over, he found the eyes of a bull locked upon him. Having had enough, at this point, Dr. Clint started to panic and hopped the fence anyway, while his two other friends took their chances in the arena with the bulls for a little while longer.
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Christian’s Premonition

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Ten years before his death, Christian drew this picture. In it, he was trying to capture a disturbing and unknown, yet painless sensation he had experienced in his head a few times before. So puzzled as to what this was, he likened it to a volcano going off in his head.

When we met, some 6 years after he had drawn this picture, still perplexed by this old recurring experience, he mentioned it to me and showed me this picture. Having discussed it several times together, we never did come to an understand of its meaning, until the day he died.

Having died from the eruption of an Arterial Vascular Mass in his head, Christian must have immediately recognized the sensation he was experiencing as the previous previews from years passed, but this time with pain.

Sometimes in our lives we are given these previews to change the events of our future. Other times we are given these previews to show and prepare us for our future.

In the days immediately following his passing, I knew this picture was a premonition of his eventual looming death.
RobVolcanoDrawing

 

 

The Lens of Awareness

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Last weekend, my friend shared with me a story from his past. As I thought about it later that day, I realized his story had some important insights to distinguish about awareness.

Back in the eastern states, where heating oil is routinely delivered to homes for winter warmth, the driver of an oil truck accidentally hit a dog in the street one day. You see, the dog ran through the same routine every time. The dog would run behind the truck, then, when the driver stopped the truck to make his delivery, the dog would run around to the front of the truck. The driver, who knew this dog’s routine of running to the front of the truck, would then, drive slowly and carefully away, in order to avoid the dog. My friend, who I will call Sam, wondered back then, how the driver, who always drove the same route, could have possibly hit the dog. “Wasn’t he paying attention?” Continue reading →