In Memoriam Of Christian

… whose life and untimely passing inspired the creation of this site.

In my heart, I bring you flowers.

In my heart, I bring you flowers.

It was three years ago to this day that Christian, just twenty-five years of age, suddenly and unexpectedly passed away from a hemorrhaged arterial vascular mass in his brain. Fortunately for him, the painful process that led to his death was short-lived, as the time from onset to his passing only lasted approximately 45 minutes.

Although the process of Christian’s painful death was quick, for the loved ones left behind, our painful experience of losing him was just beginning. Even though we were still alive, it was a kind of death for us made manifest in our attempts to live on without him.

Christian was an amazing contribution to this planet. His countenance radiated acceptance, patience and unconditional love. Whenever I got impatient or offended by someone’s words or actions, with the utmost of wisdom and compassion Christian would turn to me and say, “Choose love.” It was a bumper sticker he was referring to, one I picked up for him when I visited a Hindu Ashram in Taos, New Mexico, just 6 months earlier. But it was also who he was and how he lived his life.

Christian’s death was shocking to those who knew and loved him. The impact of this loss left many to wonder why this amazing light upon the Earth, would be taken at a time when the world needed light the most.

Christian had a brilliant mind. He was talented and skilled, well beyond his years. He was continually in the process of improving himself, and developing the deepest part of his soul. He was a conscious being who strived diligently for perfection. Christian was of service to all around him. But the best thing about Christian… was his big and beautiful heart!

So, it is for me, that who Christian was in life, and the following symbolism surrounding his death, would forever be tied to Easter.

It was on a Wednesday morning, March 31, 2010, that Christian’s body would pass away. I watched through tears of shock and horror as they loaded him into the ambulance that was headed for the hospital. By the time we arrived, and the paramedics were unloading him, I could tell by looking at their faces that it was bad news. Christian was no longer with us.

After admitting and processing Christian into the hospital, even though he had already passed away, his body remained on life support, waiting for his family to learn of his fate and to arrive in the States from another country.

Meanwhile, in another hospital, not too far away… for days, a large family has been gathered around their sick and dying loved one. He is a patient, badly in need of a heart, whose life precariously dangles at the brink of death. He is a father, a son, a husband and a friend. His family shuffles in and out from his bedside, bracing themselves for the worst. And with the many prayers offered up in his behalf, they hope for the miracle that will give him back his life.
The days following Christian’s death had quickly passed by. By some miracle too difficult to explain here, his family had effortlessly been located on vacation in a foreign country, clear across the world and was able to arrive in the States, later the next day. Arrangements concerning his body and remains had all been made and now, having spent time mourning by his side, we said our last goodbyes to him.

Soon, his body would be taken for the purpose of harvesting his organs; a desire Christian conveyed just months before. Not being a blood relative, I was not privy to the information of who might receive Christian’s organs, only that most of them would be transplanted into patients living in Utah. However, I did know that whoever these people were, they would be supremely blessed to receive them.

The next morning had arrived. It was April 4, 2010 and Easter Sunday. My friend, Laney, had been admitted as a patient to the cardiac unit in that other hospital, the one I spoke about earlier; not so far from us. Having had a heart scare, Laney had been there since Friday and with her laptop in full use, was following the updates I posted to our group of loved ones, concerning Christian.

On Saturday, April 3, 2010, the update read in part,
…“Yesterday, after the last test on Good Friday, Christian was confirmed to have no brain activity whatsoever. So, this part is over. We have to accept this, even though it is hard for us and we don’t want to. We have all done our very best.

The good news- Please know that our prayers for a miracle have been heard.
Last night I was awakened to the miracle surrounding him. In fact, there were many of them about to spring forth. Because Christian was young and of such great health, his organs will be donated to many people in great need. Almost everything can be given, so you can imagine the tremendous gifts he leaves behind for so many.

It is interesting to me that this Easter, many people will be receiving the call they have been waiting for; to come to the hospital for the organ transplant that will literally give them a NEW LIFE, ironically, this is the gift of Easter too. Christian would not have had it any other way….”

On Easter Sunday, April 4, 2010, the update read,
“Dear loved ones,
Today, 7 grateful beings will have received the gift of a new life- and many others will benefit by the donation of his tissues at some later date. This is the blessing and generous Easter gift that Christian brings. 
I wonder how their lives will now change. The joy that life will now bring them and their loved ones, to have a second chance with life. But mostly, I wonder how greatly their lives will change, specifically, having Christian’s organs. They simply have no idea of the high frequency that is being added to them… 
…Though Christian has died in one way, he has risen today in so many others. May we all find peace and comfort in this miracle.
Have a meaningful Easter today- whatever that means for you. Perhaps today is a day for new beginnings for each one of us, a day to rise to a higher frequency. If we make it so, it will be.” 

After following the updates on Christian and being in the hospital herself, Laney felt directly and personally connected to something very sacred. It was only moments later that her nurse, having been delayed from checking in on her, came bustling through the door with excitement. Trying to explain his delay, in so many words, he said, “We’ve had an emergency to take care of. We just got word that a heart is on its way and we’ve had to prep that man across the hallway for immediate surgery to receive it!”

With shock on her face at the realization of what was happening; the tragedy with Christian, connected to the family across the hall from her, she shared with the nurse about Christian’s death and the giving of his organs. And, with shock on his face, with the realization of what she had just shared, he declared it as much as an Easter miracle!

Truly, Easter on April 4th, was a day representing miracles for many around the world. But for we who loved Christian, for the man whose life hung in the balance, only to receive Christian’s big and beautiful heart at the very last minute, and for the grateful family whose prayers had been answered, it was especially up close and personal, in a poignant but sweet sort of way. Very soon, a father, son, husband and friend would be brought back, for a chance at a new life.

Now, three years later, and still mourning the loss of Christian, I know that if he had anything to say about his death… and I believe he did, it would be that he was able to leave traces of his light, love and life behind for those he loved. And, that his essence would be reflected in his words, deeds, organs, and our hearts and minds.

I’m still learning from Christian’s Christ-like example everyday; to be patient and kind, to live with compassion, to be of service, and to always, always, and in all ways… “choose love.”

I once thought with Christian’s death, a great light had been taken from the Earth. Now I see that it’s just shining down on it, more clearly illuminating the way.
That’s just who he was.
That’s just who he is still.
Thank you Christian! We love and miss you.

And now in parting, I leave you with these same words once spoken before,
Have a meaningful Easter today, and everyday- whatever that means for you. Perhaps today is a day for new beginnings for each one of us, a day to rise to a higher frequency. If we make it so, it will be.” 

(Thanks to Laney for sharing this story from the unique and amazing perspective, that only she could provide. Since Laney’s original scare turned out, not to be serious, Laney feels that the whole reason she was in the hospital at the time, was to be a witness to, and tell about this miracle.)

21 thoughts on “In Memoriam Of Christian

  1. This is so beautiful. I hope everyone gets a chance to read it. It brings tears to my eyes. I am so sorry for your loss. I love you much

  2. Dearest Jade,
    Thank you for sharing such a touching story of Christians huge heart and the miraculous gift it was and still is. What a beautiful, wise, kind, brilliant man…I am so grateful that I got to know such a loving angel! I love you Christian! Thank you for all the love you’ve given me~I choose love, always…

  3. There is still a hole in the lives of those who knew Christian, three years later. But let us also remember all the gifts and contributions that he made to our lives. The music alone is an amazing gift, though I would have liked to learn more from him regarding website creation.
    As always he holds a special place in my heart and his presence is missed.
    I wish you all a happy Easter and encourage everyone (and myself) to always “Choose Love.”

  4. Jade,
    You express his light and your path in such a beautiful way. Have you ever read “The Heart’s Code?” It talks of how the heart contains memory and how people that have received heart transplants have memories they could not possibly have had personally. Clearly, Christian’s heart lives on and what a gift that must be.

    • No, I’ve never heard of it, but thank you for mentioning it. I will have to read it and add it to my resource list. Thank you for your loving comments! Love you! xo

  5. Jade!!!! WHAT a Generous gift you are to Many…..
    And WHAT Honor You Give to Christian, A Man I know the same as you. An Angel on Earth….. and in Heaven!!
    Thank You for Sharing Sistah!!

  6. Dearest Jade, I am speechless to share just how deeply I feel the love and miracles you have shared here. I have tears of joy with tears of sadness for your loss. Yet I am moved so much with the incredible power of love. Your love also lives on in Christian’s heart. I feel so blessed to have you as a distant friend that shines so brightly. I was listening to “Second Hand God” the other day and listening to right now. I hope you can feel the Love that showers gently over you at this moment. From my Paradise to your beautiful heart!

    • Dear Kathi, thank you so much for your loving and supportive words. I so appreciate them, and you, for being in my life, even if it is long distance, I feel you there, and it makes me smile! 🙂 Loving you always soul sister. xo

  7. Oh so beautifully written….I wish I had had a chance to know him and
    feel the glow of his being.

    Thank you so much, dear, dear friend. AGhugs to you.

  8. Hi Jade, I’m speechless after reading your very poignant memorial to Christian, in light of my posting in the After death communication page about my dear friend Tim. They both died of the same. It will always be a deep sadness to everyone who knew him but O’h how bright this star does shine. All the gifts he gave, the lives he’s saved, his beauty, generosity and self-sacrifice. What a dear man. Love to all x

    • Thank you, Jill. It sounds like this Earth lost some of its brightness when Tim and Christian crossed over. What I was told, by angels, directly after Christian’s death is, “He’s gone to bring us into the light.” And they meant “us” as in, all of us. 🙂 Although it was extremely painful that he had to go, at least I took some solace in, that his mission had now become that much greater now. Perhaps the same is true for Tim. Both such bright lights.

      • Yes it is baffling why those two left. Whenever I’ve experienced loss of a young friend (through death), the two that spring to mind, they have been exceptionally lovely people. I lost my brother in 1997 (at the age of 39), and it has to be said it is still a mystery that perplexes. Why him? I think he’s still around at times. He was a larger than life character, very full on, packing as much in to his days, with many businesses abroad and home. He was exhausting to be around tbh. I did have a very strong sense though he warned me about my impending illness. I was putting out rubbish in the bins at night when I heard his voice say “you’re going to be very ill but you’ll survive”. I hope this isn’t making the hairs on your neck stand up. I asked him to repeat the words so that I knew it was his voice. It repeated the same words, like an automated message. A few hours later on a Sunday morning I was making a cup of tea when an explosion happened in my head. I knew exactly what it was and thought O’h God, I have to call an ambulance, but I don’t want to. I called to my daughter who was getting herself ready for swimming to come down the stairs and get me some pain relieving tablets, which I knew wasn’t the answer. But things moved on quite rapidly to needing an ambulance as I faded in and out of consciousness, then started to vomit. I was in the high dependency ward for three weeks mostly sleeping rigged up to all paraphernalia, tubes and lines. A little background; I was a nurse who had cared for people with subarachnoid haemorrhages so I knew exactly what the score was. I made a pact with God/spiritual source, that if I survived I would not waste my life. The messages (wherever they were coming from) were….nothing in life is more important than to live with compassion, love and kindness, which I have never forgotten. My life nowadays is a challenge to keep to this. My daughter is coming up to 26 next week, and I’m so grateful to still be around for her. She has been my Angel. Much like Christian, she has a gentle kind approach to living. In my moments of grief or annoyance with others, she is the one who talks the greater picture – show humour, patience, kindness and care toward others. When I read about Christian I kept thinking that’s my beautiful daughter too. Earth angels abound. I bet Christian had the wittiest sense of humour too didn’t he?!

        • Yes, he was brilliant. 🙂 Thank you for sharing that. What a powerful experience and just shows us that we are not alone in our journey on this Earth. I love the warning you received. I’ve had those too, and it really lets me know that we are constantly guided and watched over, always. 🙂 I’m glad you stayed with us to help to light this planet. There are bright souls here too, and you are certainly one of them. Thanks Jill. xo

          • Thank you Jade, I needed to hear a compliment…life’s changing and the challenges are hard. I hope you are keeping strong. Always keep Hope alive, hey! xo

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