Keisha shares the last terrifying days of her mother’s life and the comfort she received along the way.
Keisha writes:
“Hi jade, this is my experience with my mom. Sorry it’s so long, but it tells the whole story of the terrifying last 18 days of her life. Since I wrote this, I also have been experiencing repeating numbers such as 1:11, 11:11, 4:44 and I even unplugged my ihome and the screen was blank all except “11” blinking. When I plugged it back in it went away.”
“My mom passed away on June 29th, 2015. This is by far the worst heartache I have ever experienced. It was a long journey; 18 days in critical care, ups and downs, a complete roller coaster ride of pure hell and emotions that I have never felt in my life before. If you’ve ever been there, you will know exactly what I’m talking about.”
Choosing love doesn’t mean we won’t ever be hurt, disappointed or angry with someone. To ignore our feelings in the face of an upset would be inauthentic, since feelings are a natural part of being human. Choosing love only means that after we have fully acknowledged and experienced our feelings, that we allow the painful emotional energy to move quickly through us. This completion process is what makes healing possible, so we can get back to the business of experiencing our feelings of love again.
Choosing love doesn’t mean we have to share the same beliefs and values as another. It doesn’t mean we have to agree or have the same opinion either. In a world with so much diversity as ours, how could we all see things from exactly the same point of view? Choosing love only means that we allow another to have his or her perspective, as well.
Choosing love doesn’t mean we have to like the choices people make or actions that they take. Many times we won’t. But, who are we to think someone should live his or her life according to all our expectations anyway? Choosing love only means that we still love them, even if we don’t approve.
Choosing love doesn’t mean you have to forget that someone hurt or violated you or someone you love, although you probably wish you could. Choosing love just means that to heal, forgiveness may be in order… not just for them, but especially for yourself; so you can find peace.
They’re Ba-ack! I thought I’d already sent them packing once and for all, but apparently they didn’t listen very well. One thing is for sure; they expect you to listen perfectly to them! That’s why they come to catch you in a weak moment… and cornering you within the confines of your own head, relentlessly recite your past mistakes to you; like you somehow weren’t already aware of them! They tell you why you should or shouldn’t have done what you did, followed by a judgment… or five about it! You know, those errors you made in the past when you were young and less experienced. Or… even just yesterday, when you were unaware and didn’t consider every other possible choice than the one you did, and because you didn’t, this left you in a bad spot.
Maybe you’ve noticed them before… those critical voices in your head, that, like the mob coming to extort, yet, another payment from you, badger you, sometimes in a soft and subtle way, and sometimes in a loud and abrupt one. But either way, it all ends the same… they want you to pay for something. Even if you have already paid before, they forget… or don’t care… and come back for more! Their favorite currency is in the form of your guilt, shame and regret. So, unless you are blissfully unaware, conscience-less and don’t care, or have already learned the secret to making them stop, then… welcome to this awesome human experience! (kidding off course)
Throughout time, these disparaging voices have been referred to as, “the critical parent”, “the judge and jury”, “the committee”, or “inner demons”, just to name a few. And because they can be so damn mean, leave some convinced that these “mental tormentors” are really “outer demons”… as who would really do this to oneself?
Far too often, clients coming for massage therapy complain of all the aches and pain stored within their bodies. Laying themselves upon my soft padded massage table, they begin to unwind and breathe deeper as I work out the stored energy pent up in their muscle tissue. With every breath of relief, and every trigger point released, deeper relaxation sets in, as the body returns more to its natural state of peacefulness.
In my experience, I’ve discovered that, for many people, stress seems to originate at work; the problem being… they are always at work, 24/7! So wrapped up in their work life; trying to do a good job, earning a living, trying to get along with all the different personalities, or working for that promotion, they forget about any life outside of work! The bigger problem in all of this is the mistake of bringing work home. Some people aren’t even aware they are doing this, until the moment they are, and believe me… I have seen some shocked faces when they get it!
Think of it this way, the average person works 40 hours a week. Try this. Whatever amount you get paid per hour at work, instead of that, think about dividing your hourly wage into the 168 hours that make up one full week and see how much you are really getting paid for bringing your work everywhere you are! It’s hardly worth it! Not to mention the stressful impact your work-related thoughts and feelings have on your mind and body.
A few weeks ago, I joined a fitness club; I figured it was time. Concerned that if I didn’t keep moving, someday I wouldn’t be able to move at all. So faithfully I went to the gym everyday to lift some weights and get back into the swing of things.
After not belonging to a gym for, at least, a decade and a half, I was pumping iron like I was preparing for an upcoming Zombie apocalypse! It actually felt good, as I had missed the kind of energy that comes from a good workout.
So there I was, working out and enjoying some newfound energy… but… “what was the commotion going on in the room next door,” I thought to myself, where I could hear loud music and people having so much fun? With my curiosity piqued, I walked over to look through the wall of windows separating one room from the other. I pretended not to stare too obviously as I tried to figure it out.
people doing Zumba
As it turned out, Zumba, the Latin dance workout, was just ending for the hour, resulting in a bunch of sweaty, but smiling women leaving the studio. During all my years of gym inactivity, I had heard of the word, Zumba, but never actually knew what it was or seen it in action. Back at the gym now, and determined to be part of this fun, I returned later that night for a class, excited and ready to go!
Being a beginner, I cautiously took the back row. The upside was that I couldn’t be seen by all of those really experienced Zumba dancers in front of me; the downside was that I could barely see the instructor! Well, my determination and excitement was short-lived as I only lasted about 5 minutes before exiting the room… embarrassed, out of breath and clutching my side. (Gosh, did I really just admit to that?)
“I didn’t see that coming” is a common phrase said by someone who has been completely blind-sided by the unexpected. In this case, the unanticipated loss of something cherished. It is the mental, psychological and emotional energy created from this loss that forcefully thrusts us into a tailspin of thoughts and emotions we would rather not think and feel!
As humans, we operate as though life is predicable, never thinking that at any moment there could be a huge interruption in it that informs us otherwise. But, what’s really so is this; life is made up of a series of many random events that we have very little conscious control over. Sometimes we go for long periods of time without one unpleasant experience, then… something happens… and maybe we experience a long string of them.
Even applying a few of these suggestions to your everyday life will help to put you back in control of the drivers seat. Remember to be gentle, kind and loving to yourself. This will decrease stress most … Read the rest
Recently, a client of mine recommended the documentary called “Forgiving Dr. Mengele.” This documentary focused on the torment victims were made to endure in the concentration camp of Auschwitz, during the time of Nazi, Germany, specifically the sets of twins whose lives were spared for the sole purpose of human experimentation by the sadistic and infamous Dr. Josef Mengele. He chose twins because with them, he had the perfect control group at his disposal. He ran experiments on one of the twins to measure the results against the other. To Dr. Mengele, these people, mainly children, were as lab rats. He was a cruel narcissist that had no regard for them as human beings. Clearly, these people experienced horrors that were unimaginable to many in the world.
Worrying is not only unproductive, but pointless. It only serves to give us the illusion that with it, we have more control in our world. And besides that, it’s not … Read the rest
When the storms of this life become too fierce to face, when the pressures are too much to bear, when the world is dark and you think you can’t hang on for one more minute, go inside. There, sitting in … Read the rest
Grief is a normal response to a painful loss. Made up of many emotional states, the grief process is the inward journey we must take if we are to heal the pain associated with our loss.
Although this article is geared toward grief over the death of a loved one, the grief cycle is relevant for any loss. The grief process provides a natural way for us to recover from our loss and move forward.
Generally the grief cycle includes: shock and denial, bargaining, pain, anger, depression and finally, acceptance. However, depending on the individual and the circumstances involved, navigating this terrain can be much more complicated.
Below is an illustration on how stress can effect us in our daily lives. While we often experience stress as just thoughts and feelings, this diagram demonstrates the actual effects of those thoughts and feelings on all the systems of the body, having the potential power and ability to cause great damage.
