Category Archives: Grief and Mourning

Grief and Mourning is a natural result from the loss of something or someone, known as part of the grief process or cycle.

Never Alone

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Ariel View at Burning Man

Ariel View at Burning Man

With a full heart and exhausted body, I recently returned home from my ten-year anniversary trip to the Black Rock desert, where over 60,000 people from all over the world made their pilgrimage this year to be “welcomed home” to Black Rock City. Grateful was I because of the love, beauty and transformation I experienced there. Exhausted, because I didn’t want to close my eyes for one second, for fear I might have missed something completely amazing.

The fun on the Burning Man playa- people having fun

The fun on the Burning Man playa

Burning Man… a dusty desert and magical land of radical self-expression, self-reliance and inclusiveness is where I sojourned for eight days of unbelievable adventure. Within this amazing city, the pouring out of love could be witnessed almost everywhere as fun-loving citizens contributed their time, talents, wisdom and creativity to the mix. The results? An experience of synchronistic magic, miracles and fun, where wide-eyed participants ventured off onto the playa with all the innocence of little children.
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“I Didn’t See That Coming!”

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“I didn’t see that coming” is a common phrase said by someone who has been completely blind-sided by the unexpected. In this case, the unanticipated loss of something cherished. It is the mental, psychological and emotional energy created from this loss that forcefully thrusts us into a tailspin of thoughts and emotions we would rather not think and feel!

As humans, we operate as though life is predicable, never thinking that at any moment there could be a huge interruption in it that informs us otherwise. But, what’s really so is this; life is made up of a series of many random events that we have very little conscious control over. Sometimes we go for long periods of time without one unpleasant experience, then… something happens… and maybe we experience a long string of them.
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Dennis Returns to Say “Hi”

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In an interesting after-death communication, Dennis returns to say “hi” to Susan.

A few years after her boyfriend, Dennis’ death, Susan’s father was in the hospital preparing to die. Susan, sitting with her father in his last moments before death, asked her father, “When you die, go tell Dennis to come and say hi to me so I know he is still alive… somewhere out there.” Not long after, Susan’s father passed away.

With Susan’s father’s death, there was a funeral to plan and attend, and busy with life, Susan forgot all about the request she made of her father.

About two weeks later, Susan had a dream. In her dream, Susan was driving her car down a familiar road when she saw Dennis, who was the driver in another car passing her in the opposite direction. Excited by seeing him, she said, “That looks just like Dennis!” But after having passed each other so quickly, she looked in her rear view mirror to continue her view. There Dennis was, looking back in his rear view mirror and waving “hi” to Susan as he drove down the road.
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Adversity… Susan’s Growth through Tragedy

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Susan’s story of losing her partner, the love of her life, to death in a brutal explosion and her victory over adversity.

At 47, Susan had finally found the love of her life in Dennis, and he with Susan too. Strongly committed to their relationship, they expected to spend the rest of their lives together. But 4 1/2 years into their relationship together, the day came when Dennis and Susan’s world would tragically change.

Dennis was a painter by trade. He owned his own business and just happened to employ Susan’s former husband, Neil. At work, on this one fateful day, Dennis had a small oil-based paint job to finish. Dennis, having some other things to do, asked Neil to finish the job. But Neil, not wanting to use the oil-based paint, declined and went outside to eat his lunch instead. So needing to get the job done, Dennis decided to go ahead with it. After all, someone had to do it.

As Dennis began to spray, and being too close to a furnace, within minutes, an explosion occurred.  Badly burned and injured, but still alive, Dennis was rushed to the hospital in an attempt to save his life.
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Coping with Death

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…and the road ahead.

A lone road

The Road Ahead

I heard the shocking news last week; Randy, a long-time friend of mine had suffered a fatal heart attack. Grateful that a mutual friend remembered to notify me, I was able to attend the “life celebration” held in his honor.

As I listened to the sentimental stories people shared from the microphone, I couldn’t help but hear the other side of this, and how much his physical presence would be missed in the every day lives of others, especially, those closest to him.
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Prayer for the Dying…

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Beautiful Stairway to Heaven

Beautiful Stairway to Heaven

In his beautifully written book, titled “Home with God… In a Life That Never Ends“, a comforting perspective is offered for your consideration.

Author and minister, Neale Donald Walsch, asks God, “What can I say to those who are dying? Until now this has always been a tough one for me. For most of us, I would imagine. What comfort can I offer them?”

God replies, “If you find people who believe that forgiveness is what is required to make them “worthy of heaven,” offer them forgiveness – and tell them that God does so also. If you find people who believe that they will be stepping right into the arms of God and their loved ones after their death, offer them confirmation – and tell them that God does so also. If you find people who believe there is no life of any kind after death, offer them an alternative idea – and tell them that God does so also. God does so through many events of life, in a thousand different voices during a hundred different moments, heard by all those who will truly listen.”
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Forgiving the Perpetrator

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Recently, a client of mine recommended the documentary called “Forgiving Dr. Mengele.” This documentary focused on the torment victims were made to endure in the concentration camp of Auschwitz, during the time of Nazi, Germany, specifically the sets of twins whose lives were spared for the sole purpose of human experimentation by the sadistic and infamous Dr. Josef Mengele. He chose twins because with them, he had the perfect control group at his disposal. He ran experiments on one of the twins to measure the results against the other. To Dr. Mengele, these people, mainly children, were as lab rats. He was a cruel narcissist that had no regard for them as human beings. Clearly, these people experienced horrors that were unimaginable to many in the world.
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Free as a Bird

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Rose Marie was with her father at the hospital as he was about to die. But before his death, his deceased parents appeared at his hospital bed just in time to take him home. Shortly after his passing, Rose Marie received two after-death communications showing her that her father is still very much alive!

snowy christmas day

snowy christmas day

It was a snowy Christmas day when Rose Marie arrived at the hospital with a gift for her dying father. She draped the new sweater around her father’s shoulders to keep him warm as he lay in his bed. After a long struggle with lung cancer, his time on Earth was almost complete.

He looked at the foot of the bed where his deceased mother and father stood waiting for him to exit his mortal shell. Clenching tightly to his daughter’s hand, he said, “I cannot leave you here. You have to come with me. I must go soon, my mother and father are here to pick me up.”
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Sorrow and the Potter’s Oven

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A potter's kiln

The extreme heat of a potter kiln

“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?” 
–Kahlil Gibran (1883 – 1931)

Sometimes, we are called to enter into the  potter’s oven and we know not why. (metaphorical, of course!)

Yet, are we here only to experience joy? Although it sure feels better, and we may wish this were the case, we are actually here to experience all of it; the whole spectrum of human emotion, even the difficult ones.

If you are experiencing sorrow at this time, experience it fully. For when joy comes around again, you will appreciate it that much more.

Grief and Mourning… What’s the Difference?

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A Grieving Angel bowing head to cry

A Grieving Angel bowing head to cry

What is Grief?
Grief is the normal and natural reaction to loss. The grieving process may be set into motion anytime one experiences any form of loss, whether it seems significant or not.

This grief reaction can range from the loss of an item to the loss of a dream, the death of a bad relationship to the death of a great relationship. One may grieve a person they loved and knew well, while another may grieve someone they never met. Celebrity deaths, missing children and abductee deaths, featured on the news, are examples of this. Some people, who seem depressed in life, may actually be grieving the current condition of our world and planet. Continue reading →

The Wall of Mystery

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A great wall of mystery

A great wall of mystery

“There is an ancient story in the East that tells that there was a wall of mystery. Whenever anyone tried to climb up the wall to look at the other side, he smiled and jumped over, and never came back again. So the people of that country became very curious to know what mystery was behind the wall. Once when someone was climbing up the wall to see what was on the other side, they put chains on his feet, and held him so that he would not go over. When he looked at the other side, he too was delighted with what he saw and smiled; and those standing at the foot of the wall; curious to know what he had to say, pulled him back. But to their great disappointment he had lost his speech.”  (Excerpt taken from The Music of Life by Hazrat Inayat Khan)

Since the beginning of time, mystics have sought the answers to the many mysteries of life. Much of that time has been spent in endless speculation. But perhaps the greatest of all life’s mysteries is that of death.
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Christian’s Visit

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In an auditory after-death communication, Christian shows up for his 2-year anniversary.

It was March 31st all day yesterday. Christian’s death and birthday, 2 years ago. Shortly after 11 am, I looked at the place on the floor where Christian had struggled for his life, exactly 2 years earlier, while he assured a hysterical me, that he would be alright. By noon, he had left this world. The doctor said it was an arterial vascular mass that caused his brain to suddenly hemorrhage.

The day ticked by, and being an important date to those of us left on Earth, I was excited about the possibility that he would make an appearance. Surely, he would know how much that would mean to us, on this bittersweet occasion.
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Grandpa’s Three Visitors

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Anthony, age 24, recalls Grandma’s story of Grandpa’s three mysterious visitors.

Grandpa's gate by the garden

Grandpa’s gate by the garden

Years ago, when my Grandpa was still living, he had a peculiar experience. In the wee hours of morning, Grandpa sat up in bed and waking Grandma, told her of his dream. He dreamed there were three men waiting for him by the back gate, in the garden, where his rose bushes were.

But, Grandma, thinking it was just a dream, told him to go back to sleep. So, Grandpa did.
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