Category Archives: Grief and Mourning

Grief and Mourning is a natural result from the loss of something or someone, known as part of the grief process or cycle.

“The Mix” by J.V.

Posted on by
2

It was just another weekend up at the cabin that Pam and Joe planned to entertain their friends. But because of a fluke allergic reaction to an antibiotic, Pam was unable to attend, so Joe went ahead instead. Also… not so coincidentally, Justin, Pam’s son, being blown off by his friends, was left at home as well. Nevertheless, the circumstances of events enabled mother and son to spend one last precious weekend on Earth together.

The date was Saturday, August 28, 2010, when Pam noticed an infected cut from a skateboard injury on Justin’s leg. It was when Pam attempted to doctor her son’s wounds, over Justin’s adamant objections, that the following conversation took place…

Justin, who was just a few weeks from his 22nd birthday, teased his mother, “You don’t think I’m going to get out of here without a few bumps and scrapes, do you?” To that, Pam replied, “Justin! The 30-year-old version of you wants you to take care of yourself!”

“Mom?” Seeming to somehow know he needed to deliver this message, Justin said, “When I die… I want you to donate my organs.” “Well, when I die”, Pam chuckled, “I want you to donate my body to a cadaver lab and save some money!” Pam’s doctoring never happened that day, but an important conversation had.

JustinIt was 4:30 pm the next day, Sunday, August 29, 2010, that Justin handed his mother a Cd he made for her, entitled “The Mix” by J.V., Sweetness for Peace of Mind.” (The songs were a mix of Justin’s favorite tunes; a Cd that would become a most precious gift to a grieving, but grateful mother.)

Shortly after giving his mother this gift, Justin left the house to literally go – head-on into the skateboarding accident that would eventually claim his life.
Continue reading →

Signaling the End of Grief

Posted on by
5

In an after-death communication, Christian sends a clear signal that it’s time for me to move on with my life.

It was in the wee hours of the morning, on June 9th, 2013, that a strange noise sounded in my house! Wondering what it could possibly be, it was discovered to be the ringtone on my phone! But… what a horrible sound it was that had replaced the beautiful ringtone that was Christian, playing guitar on one of the songs he had created, and played so well.

Confused by what had happened, I grabbed my phone to change the annoying ringtone back to “Skies”, the peaceful melody that reminded me of Christian, every time my phone rang.

I admit, I felt a little hurt and insulted to think that Christian would just remove his ringtone from my phone, as if to say… “Get on with your life, already!!”

Okay… so it had already been 3 years and 70 days since Christian’s death, but I was still experiencing grief. Not painful grief, at this point, but grief, nonetheless. Since Christian’s death had been such a big deal to me, deep sorrow was something I had expected to feel over the loss of him, until the day I died.

My phone rang again. It was the same annoying ringtone that woke me up, just hours earlier that day. Patiently, I changed it back again. I tested the “Skies” ringtone, but it was nowhere to be found. NOWHERE!!! I wondered why…
Continue reading →

Love Continues On…

Posted on by
4

After the tragic accident and eventual passing of her beloved boyfriend, Ardit, 19-year-old Albana, is comforted when she receives several messages from Ardit, in a dream.

It was mid August when Albana contacted me with her dream visitation and a question. The email read in part: “I saw a dream last night. I was in my grandparents’ room with my mum. In the bed, there was a little baby of 3 months. The baby was talking to us, and said our name.” Surprised by this, Albana suddenly asked, “Who are you?” The baby answered, saying, “I am Ardit!” (Ardit was her boyfriend who died 3 weeks earlier!)

Then, Albana asked me, “Is this a dream or real sign from him? During the time since his death, I have seen him in other dreams, saying to me that he loves me, he is fine, and begged me to forgive him. Help me to understand please.”

(In a reply to Albana, I write, in part)
“Hello Albana,
I’m sorry for your loss. It sounds like this is a sign. There may be some symbolism involved also. I would need more background information to determine what symbolism was being used. Like for example, the 3-month-old baby saying he was your boyfriend that died 3 weeks ago. If the death time would have been longer than 3 weeks, I would consider reincarnation, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.
Continue reading →

The Mysterious Singing Bird

Posted on by
19

In an after-death communication, I am comforted when a mysterious bird lands on my front porch to serenade me with its beautiful songs.

It was Friday, May 28th, 2010, a day I remember well. It was two month after Christian’s death and I was still very raw with emotion from his shocking and untimely departure. I was alone in the house at the time, sitting on the couch… just crying my eyes out. My grief was so severe, I thought I might have been having a nervous breakdown at the time. I remember wondering if I would have to be hospitalized for my despondency and suicidal thoughts. The pain was exhausting.

Suddenly, without any explanation, a calm stillness fell over me. It was very noticeable. I stopped crying, and for that brief time, I felt no pain whatsoever. Taking advantage of this blessed reprieve, I laid my head down to get some much needed peaceful rest.

As I drifted off into the stillness, I could tell that I was neither asleep, nor awake… but very conscious still. I could feel Christian trying to communicate with me. His presence was strong. I know he was trying to comfort me, but I couldn’t tell what he was saying. Concentrating hard to discern his message to me, I listened intently. And, as I listened, I was brought out of this twilight state and into the awakening awareness of an unusual, but sweet sound of a bird singing. Perplexed at what I was hearing, for it was so close to me, I got up to see what it was.

The Mysterious Singing Bird and my cat

The Mysterious Singing Bird and my cat

Just outside my glass storm door, a beautiful bird sang to me as he sat on my front porch! It was amazing! This bird just sat there, while me and my cat looked and listened to its lovely songs. He even let me get some close-up pictures! He stayed for about 2 hours, just looking cute, while singing away. Then, without further ado, this beautiful sweet bird flew up to the roof, then off to the side of my yard and out of sight.

Grateful for this Godsend, I smiled.

Ceramic Bird Gift from Christian

Ceramic Bird Gift from Christian

As I sat on my couch, scratching my head about what had just happened, and how this was even possible, my eyes were directed to the fireplace. There, inconspicuously positioned, a ceramic bird sat, perched upon the mantle’s ledge. Confused, I thought, “What a coincidence!”

Then, I remembered… just one month before his death, Christian gave me this ceramic bird for a gift!!!

Commentary- Christian, trying to communicate and comfort me, put the symbol of the ceramic bird he had just given me, to good use. Tying the ceramic bird together with the real bird was a very nice touch on his part. It is true; the singing bird did comfort me by getting my mind off of my grief for a while. But… perhaps even more of a comfort to me was to know that Christian was alive and well, and had just come for one of his reassuring visits!

This serenading bird has never returned, but it made me smile that day. Even now, whenever I think about this mysterious bird, it still makes me smile, as, 3 years later, smiling has become much easier for me. 

More Pictures-

My cat watching the audacity of that bird

My cat watching the audacity of that bird

singing bird

The singing bird

Singing Bird

The singing bird

Higher-Self Communication

Posted on by
6

There are times in our lives when we want or need to talk to a particular person in order to complete something of importance, BUT, actually doing so… may seem too difficult for us, if even impossible. Reasons for this lack of communication may include:

  • Not knowing the person well enough, so approaching them could be awkward or even embarrassing.
  • We speak different languages.
  • We’ve lost contact, with no way of locating them.
  • This person may live too far away, and maybe, even so far away that they are no longer on this planet.
  • The person we want or need to speak to isn’t in a good position to be contacted by us, or… if we did contact them, perhaps they would refuse to speak to us, or hear our message.
  • Or maybe… it is even our own pride that prevents us from speaking with them.
  • The one we want to speak to is an animal.

But, it’s possible that this is the most difficult one of all…

  • It could be that the issues between the two are so sticky, that every attempt to sort things through leaves those involved with an attitude of defensiveness and frustration, causing both to walk away while throwing their arms up in the air in sheer resignation!

You may have experienced this before. Completely discouraged by the many attempts to communicate, but to no avail, and now… you’ve finally given up the thought and hope that this issue between the two of you could ever be rectified.

But… whatever the circumstances are, it ends the same; you are left with the sense of the incompletion that continually hangs over your head, just begging to be resolved and put to rest.

More than likely, what you really wanted or needed to tell this person was something that you never got a chance to say; for example: to give an apology, to ask or accept forgiveness, to straighten something out, to make a request or to give them your love and/or blessings? Or maybe, you just wanted to be heard and were uncertain that you ever were in the past.
Continue reading →

Grief and Mourning Distinguished

Posted on by
30
Grieving statue

Grieving statue -Photo credit: unknown

“Grief” and “mourning” are words that have been used interchangeably to mean the same thing. But, the fact is, there really is a very important difference between them.

Grief is an emotional reaction/response to loss. Grief tends to follow a common pattern of emotional states, such as shock, confusion, denial, anger, sadness, rage, depression, isolation, to name a few, and…not always in that order. If grief is experienced fully and allowed to unfold naturally, the process gradually leads one to some sort of acceptance and peace with the matter. The grief process is the brain’s way of dealing with a matter it can’t completely comprehend in the moment; so it takes time to sort through it all, be patient with yourself. If a death has been sudden or completely unexpected, comprehension is even more of a struggle, for we operate as if death is somewhere, clear out there, far off on the horizon. The truth is… we really don’t know how far or close death is to us.

Loss is not just about losing someone we love, to death. We may experience intense loss from losing a relationship, our sense of self, our job, our home, our freedom, our health, our dreams or a limb, among many other things that we hold precious and important. Whether great or small losses to us, these examples can seem like a death, that will require a certain amount of grief and mourning, to be determined by the individual who is experiencing the loss. But whatever the loss, remember to give yourself some space to heal properly. Many emotions will surface, to be explored. From my experience, feeling these emotions is much easier than trying to survive them by pushing them under. Buried emotions never rest in peace; like zombies, waiting quietly and thought dead, they will raise themselves up again at the first chance of provocation.
Continue reading →

In Memoriam Of Christian

Posted on by
24

… whose life and untimely passing inspired the creation of this site. (Written in March 2013)

Christian, In my heart, I bring you flowers.

Christian, In my heart, I bring you flowers.

It was three years ago to this day that Christian, just twenty-five years of age, suddenly and unexpectedly passed away from a hemorrhaged arterial vascular mass in his brain. Fortunately for him, the painful process that led to his death was short-lived, as the time from onset to his passing only lasted approximately 45 minutes.

Although the process of Christian’s painful death was quick for the loved ones left behind, our painful experience of losing him was just beginning. Even though we were still alive, it was a kind of death for us made manifest in our attempts to live on without him.

Christian was an amazing contribution to this planet. His countenance radiated acceptance, patience and unconditional love. Whenever I got impatient or offended by someone’s words or actions, with the utmost of wisdom and compassion Christian would turn to me and say, “Choose love.” It was a bumper sticker he was referring to- one I picked up for him when I visited a Hindu Ashram in Taos, New Mexico, just 6 months earlier. But… it was also who he was and how he lived his life.

Christian’s death was shocking to those who knew and loved him. The impact of this loss left many to wonder why this amazing light upon the Earth would be taken at a time when the world needed light the most.
Continue reading →

The End Is Only The Beginning

Posted on by
4

My incredible out-of-body experience while attending a past-life regression seminar in 2010, in Denver, Colorado, as published in Dr. Brian Weiss’s new book, Miracles Happen.

Dr. Brian Weiss at a conference I attended

Dr. Brian Weiss at a conference I attended

Preface-
I attended one of Dr. Weiss’s past-life regression seminars in 2010 in Denver, Colorado. Only seven months prior to this event, I lost my dear Christian to a sudden and unexpected death. It was the worst thing I had ever experienced and it left me a basket case, with so many painful thoughts and questions. At the same time, I had also spontaneously remembered a tragic past life with Christian, that had ended in a similar fashion, which left me feeling even worse.

Because I was so distraught about these losses, Christian’s aunt told me about Dr. Weiss and recommended that I go to an event, saying that maybe I would find some answers or at least feel better. I looked him up and read his books, and they gave me some peace of mind. But when I found out that he was going to be as close as Colorado, I took the opportunity to travel and attend his event. My experience there has helped me so much by changing my perspective.

A face in the clouds of consciousness

Past life regression consciousness

My Actual Experience-
It was the first regression of the day after Dr. Weiss had introduced himself and prepared us for what might be expected and experienced within the context of our time with him. When he put us into a deep state of hypnotic regression, of course I expected to go into a past life, just as I had done times before while listening to his regression CD.

I remember that he had just come to the part where he gives the suggestion to go back to the earliest childhood memory, which I did. Like a child, I found myself in wonder and anticipation of the adventure I would soon discover when he took me back to a previous life. What past-life clues and remnants would I uncover? What would they teach me about my life and myself?
Continue reading →

Simple Pleasures

Posted on by
Reply

In this after-death communication, Elizabeth gets a surprise visitation when she wakes from her nap on one unsuspecting day,  .

Materializing Spirit

Materializing Spirit

One late afternoon while watching the television in her study, 88-year-old Elizabeth drifted off for a nap. Later, when waking up, but still in that fuzzy state of mind that exists between dreams and wakening, she opened her eyes to see the solid full-body profile of a man facing the dimming light still shining through her living room window. In the next room, only 15 feet away from her, she could hardly believe what she was seeing! Looking closer, she realized that the man her eyes were now sharply fixed upon, was her late husband, Robert, who had died just a few years earlier.

There he was, smiling, as he proudly put on that old favorite jacket he had always worn and loved, but had left behind, along with his body. Elizabeth, seeing the joy in Robert’s face as he donned his old favorite rag, and how fondly he remembered it, was glad that she hadn’t given it away to the thrift shop after his death. Then, within seconds, Robert began to fade, until he disappeared completely.

Commentary- The hypnogogic state is that hazy fuzzy state that is experienced just between sleep and waking. It is rather like the portal that connects this world with the next. Because of the blended realities in this portal, this is a prime time for visions and visitations from another world.

It was appropriate that Robert was facing away from Elizabeth, as not to scare her to death by looking directly at her. But it is possible, because of his lack of attention, that Robert wasn’t aware that Elizabeth was awake and watching him, or even there, for that matter, as his focus was solely on his old favorite jacket.

Although this after-dead communication was short and sweet, it was enough to let Elizabeth know that her beloved husband, was existing somewhere, just beyond this realm, and still enjoying the simple pleasures that this life provided.

The Exit Interview

Posted on by
5

Normally, when you hear the words, “exit Interview” you think of the final survey conducted when one is leaving a job or organization… but this “exit interview” is something quite different.

“The Exit Interview” is a excellent personal inventory tool that assists two main groups of people; those nearing the end of life’s journey who are preparing themselves for the afterlife, AND… those intending to leave their past behind who are preparing themselves for starting of a brand new life – while still in this life! Although the destinations may be a little different, the process of leaving the past behind through completion is exactly the same.

When seriously reflected on and completed in it’s entirety, “The Exit Interview” is a powerful process that allows one to consciously face their past by way of observation, assessment and realization. This new awareness leads to the discovery of what, if anything, needs to be handled, settled and/or restored, before one is completely satisfied in moving forward.

Full completion of “The Exit Interview” acts like a reset button in ways, by allowing one to free themselves up by taking the appropriate actions to tie up the loose ends that have been left undone, making those areas of your life complete. Carrying out the last words and actions directed at restoring what has been found missing and/or straightening what has been messed up, goes a long way in cleaning and clearing up the past.
Continue reading →

Never Far From Home

Posted on by
2
Out of Body Experience

Out of Body Experience

In what seemed to be a very strange dream, I was standing on the top of a very tall building, on the top of a very tall mountain, and looking down… I saw a mighty fall below me.

There were two of me there. There was the one who was just about to dive off the edge into the dark abyss, and… there was the other – very concerned me, warning me, if I took the plunge, it would be suicide, and I would surely die. And… to that, a smiling me shouted out, “Oh, no I won’t, ’cause I can fly!” just before diving off the edge into the deep night!

Flying in an out of body experience

Flying in an out of body experience

I watched her in wonder as she fell through space, so graceful; head first with arms extended. Then, just as she’d said she could, right before hitting the ground, this spiritual Superwoman did indeed take flight in the direction of her choosing, and I became her!

 

 

 

Window to the "other side"

Window to the “other side”

Who knows all the places I flew that night, but… I do remember one place in particular. I found myself hovering before a large beautifully framed window. “How curious,” I thought, as I looked at its surface. It reminded me of the window at Wendy Darling’s old London home, where Peter Pan periodically returned fresh from an adventure in Neverland, to look in on those he loved.

When my focus shifted from the outer window pane, my awareness was now being drawn deeply through the glass. In contrast to the darkness all around me, the room inside was brightly illuminated. As I scanned the elegant room filled with, what seemed to be a modest gathering of beings, I saw Christian sitting there. I noticed how happy he was as he turned to look up at the person standing to his right; and as usual, his smiling face was equally as bright as any light could ever be!
Continue reading →

Still Rambling On…

Posted on by
1

In this after-death communication, we see how the decisions and choices of even the most stubbornly made-up minds, can be changed with the influence of a departed loved one, still existing in the realm beyond.

Home for Sale

Home for Sale

It was approximately two years before his death, that Lola’s husband, David, became preoccupied with the idea of getting a bigger and nicer, but more practical home for his family. To him, this meant purchasing a Rambler-style home, that eliminated the extra stairs of their tri-level home, with a big finished basement where his sons could spread out. But Lola, happy with the size of her current home, and the cost of the mortgage, didn’t see the need for anything more. In fact, if anything, she wanted to buy a smaller home with less of a mortgage payment.

From the time Lola met David, and all throughout the years of their marriage, she knew him as a quiet, but strong, in charge, no nonsense, macho-type man, who was insistent on getting his way. To illustrate this point, Lola shared an example. While watching television together, David had the habit of changing the channel many times, and sometimes, even within the same five minutes! Lola, having accepted the fact that rehabilitation was out of the question for her serial channel changer, learned to watch with patience, every and all the parts of the shows that David chose to watch.
Continue reading →

Hector’s Healing Dream

Posted on by
Reply

By nature, Hector had always been a skeptic of the supernatural, until his mind was changed during a profound after-death communication, that occurred in a dream, which was just as real as life itself!

While Grandma was near death in a Mexican hospital, with her husband and some of her children by her side, Hector, her grandson, was at an aunt’s home in the United States, where family had gathered together to await the impending news. It was on that summer evening, late in July of 2011, that it came. The phone rang and, through tears of sorrow, it was announced that Grandma had passed away.

The next day, Hector and his cousin arrived at the airport to board the flight that would deliver them to their destination in Mexico, where their Grandma’s funeral was to be held. The only problem was… as they were ready to board the flight, it was announced that the plane would be delayed, because it had broken down, and another flight out would not be available until the next day.

Considering the bad news, Hector and his cousin realized that even if they took that next flight offered by the airlines, they would have arrived too late to attend their Grandma’s funeral. With this in mind, two very sad grandson’s decided to turn back.
Continue reading →