Last weekend, my friend shared with me a story from his past. As I thought about it later that day, I realized his story had some important insights to distinguish about awareness.
Back in the eastern states, where heating oil is routinely delivered to homes for winter warmth, the driver of an oil truck accidentally hit a dog in the street one day. You see, the dog ran through the same routine every time. The dog would run behind the truck, then, when the driver stopped the truck to make his delivery, the dog would run around to the front of the truck. The driver, who knew this dog’s routine of running to the front of the truck, would then, drive slowly and carefully away, in order to avoid the dog. My friend, who I will call Sam, wondered back then, how the driver, who always drove the same route, could have possibly hit the dog. “Wasn’t he paying attention?”
There are times in our lives when we want or need to talk to a particular person in order to complete something of importance, BUT, actually doing so… may seem too difficult for us, if even impossible. Reasons for this lack of communication may include:
Not knowing the person well enough, so approaching them could be awkward or even embarrassing.
We speak different languages.
We’ve lost contact, with no way of locating them.
This person may live too far away, and maybe, even so far away that they are no longer on this planet.
The person we want or need to speak to isn’t in a good position to be contacted by us, or… if we did contact them, perhaps they would refuse to speak to us, or hear our message.
Or maybe… it is even our own pride that prevents us from speaking with them.
The one we want to speak to is an animal.
But, it’s possible that this is the most difficult one of all…
It could be that the issues between the two are so sticky, that every attempt to sort things through leaves those involved with an attitude of defensiveness and frustration, causing both to walk away while throwing their arms up in the air in sheer resignation!
You may have experienced this before. Completely discouraged by the many attempts to communicate, but to no avail, and now… you’ve finally given up the thought and hope that this issue between the two of you could ever be rectified.
But… whatever the circumstances are, it ends the same; you are left with the sense of the incompletion that continually hangs over your head, just begging to be resolved and put to rest.
More than likely, what you really wanted or needed to tell this person was something that you never got a chance to say; for example: to give an apology, to ask or accept forgiveness, to straighten something out, to make a request or to give them your love and/or blessings? Or maybe, you just wanted to be heard and were uncertain that you ever were in the past.
“Grief” and “mourning” are words that have been used interchangeably to mean the same thing. But, the fact is, there really is a very important difference between them.
Grief is an emotional reaction/response to loss. Grief tends to follow a common pattern of emotional states, such as shock, confusion, denial, anger, sadness, rage, depression, isolation, to name a few, and…not always in that order. If grief is experienced fully and allowed to unfold naturally, the process gradually leads one to some sort of acceptance and peace with the matter. The grief process is the brain’s way of dealing with a matter it can’t completely comprehend in the moment; so it takes time to sort through it all, be patient with yourself. If a death has been sudden or completely unexpected, comprehension is even more of a struggle, for we operate as if death is somewhere, clear out there, far off on the horizon. The truth is… we really don’t know how far or close death is to us.
Loss is not just about losing someone we love, to death. We may experience intense loss from losing a relationship, our sense of self, our job, our home, our freedom, our health, our dreams or a limb, among many other things that we hold precious and important. Whether great or small losses to us, these examples can seem like a death, that will require a certain amount of grief and mourning, to be determined by the individual who is experiencing the loss. But whatever the loss, remember to give yourself some space to heal properly. Many emotions will surface, to be explored. From my experience, feeling these emotions is much easier than trying to survive them by pushing them under. Buried emotions never rest in peace; like zombies, waiting quietly and thought dead, they will raise themselves up again at the first chance of provocation.
Around 2 months ago when I was looking through my gmail, I noticed something strange about my thumbnail picture on the left hand-side of the screen. It wasn’t my picture anymore! As I put my cursor on it, it expanded … Read the rest
Choosing love doesn’t mean we won’t ever be hurt, disappointed or angry with someone. To ignore our feelings in the face of an upset would be inauthentic, since feelings are a natural part of being human. Choosing love only means that after we have fully acknowledged and experienced our feelings, that we allow the painful emotional energy to move quickly through us. This completion process is what makes healing possible, so we can get back to the business of experiencing our feelings of love again.
Choosing love doesn’t mean we have to share the same beliefs and values as another. It doesn’t mean we have to agree or have the same opinion either. In a world with so much diversity as ours, how could we all see things from exactly the same point of view? Choosing love only means that we allow another to have his or her perspective, as well.
Choosing love doesn’t mean we have to like the choices people make or actions that they take. Many times we won’t. But, who are we to think someone should live his or her life according to all our expectations anyway? Choosing love only means that we still love them, even if we don’t approve.
Choosing love doesn’t mean you have to forget that someone hurt or violated you or someone you love, although you probably wish you could. Choosing love just means that to heal, forgiveness may be in order… not just for them, but especially for yourself; so you can find peace.
… whose life and untimely passing inspired the creation of this site. (Written in March 2013)
Christian, In my heart, I bring you flowers.
It was three years ago to this day that Christian, just twenty-five years of age, suddenly and unexpectedly passed away from a hemorrhaged arterial vascular mass in his brain. Fortunately for him, the painful process that led to his death was short-lived, as the time from onset to his passing only lasted approximately 45 minutes.
Although the process of Christian’s painful death was quick for the loved ones left behind, our painful experience of losing him was just beginning. Even though we were still alive, it was a kind of death for us made manifest in our attempts to live on without him.
Christian was an amazing contribution to this planet. His countenance radiated acceptance, patience and unconditional love. Whenever I got impatient or offended by someone’s words or actions, with the utmost of wisdom and compassion Christian would turn to me and say, “Choose love.” It was a bumper sticker he was referring to- one I picked up for him when I visited a Hindu Ashram in Taos, New Mexico, just 6 months earlier. But… it was also who he was and how he lived his life.
Christian’s death was shocking to those who knew and loved him. The impact of this loss left many to wonder why this amazing light upon the Earth would be taken at a time when the world needed light the most.
They’re Ba-ack! I thought I’d already sent them packing once and for all, but apparently they didn’t listen very well. One thing is for sure; they expect you to listen perfectly to them! That’s why they come to catch you in a weak moment… and cornering you within the confines of your own head, relentlessly recite your past mistakes to you; like you somehow weren’t already aware of them! They tell you why you should or shouldn’t have done what you did, followed by a judgment… or five about it! You know, those errors you made in the past when you were young and less experienced. Or… even just yesterday, when you were unaware and didn’t consider every other possible choice than the one you did, and because you didn’t, this left you in a bad spot.
Maybe you’ve noticed them before… those critical voices in your head, that, like the mob coming to extort, yet, another payment from you, badger you, sometimes in a soft and subtle way, and sometimes in a loud and abrupt one. But either way, it all ends the same… they want you to pay for something. Even if you have already paid before, they forget… or don’t care… and come back for more! Their favorite currency is in the form of your guilt, shame and regret. So, unless you are blissfully unaware, conscience-less and don’t care, or have already learned the secret to making them stop, then… welcome to this awesome human experience! (kidding off course)
Throughout time, these disparaging voices have been referred to as, “the critical parent”, “the judge and jury”, “the committee”, or “inner demons”, just to name a few. And because they can be so damn mean, leave some convinced that these “mental tormentors” are really “outer demons”… as who would really do this to oneself?
… a message from geese about how people can practice working together.
As each bird flaps it’s wings, it creates an uplift for others behind him. There is 71% more flying range in V-formation than flying alone. Lesson: People who … Read the rest
My incredible out-of-body experience while attending a past-life regression seminar in 2010, in Denver, Colorado, as published in Dr. Brian Weiss’s new book, Miracles Happen.
Dr. Brian Weiss at a conference I attended
Preface-
I attended one of Dr. Weiss’s past-life regression seminars in 2010 in Denver, Colorado. Only seven months prior to this event, I lost my dear Christian to a sudden and unexpected death. It was the worst thing I had ever experienced and it left me a basket case, with so many painful thoughts and questions. At the same time, I had also spontaneously remembered a tragic past life with Christian, that had ended in a similar fashion, which left me feeling even worse.
Because I was so distraught about these losses, Christian’s aunt told me about Dr. Weiss and recommended that I go to an event, saying that maybe I would find some answers or at least feel better. I looked him up and read his books, and they gave me some peace of mind. But when I found out that he was going to be as close as Colorado, I took the opportunity to travel and attend his event. My experience there has helped me so much by changing my perspective.
Past life regression consciousness
My Actual Experience-
It was the first regression of the day after Dr. Weiss had introduced himself and prepared us for what might be expected and experienced within the context of our time with him. When he put us into a deep state of hypnotic regression, of course I expected to go into a past life, just as I had done times before while listening to his regression CD.
I remember that he had just come to the part where he gives the suggestion to go back to the earliest childhood memory, which I did. Like a child, I found myself in wonder and anticipation of the adventure I would soon discover when he took me back to a previous life. What past-life clues and remnants would I uncover? What would they teach me about my life and myself?
Have you ever had a dream so real that you thought you were actually there? Have you ever felt a tingling feeling or vibration, followed by a sensation of floating out of your body as you drifted off for a nap? Have you ever found yourself consciously aware and interacting inside a dream, as opposed to watching the usual non-sensical images flash by behind your eyelids? If so, you may have had an out-of-body experience!
It is said that 1 out of 10 people have had, at least one OBE in their lifetime, while others in that same group have experienced this phenomenon many times. The truth is, although waking OBE’s are more rare, compared to those occurring in a sleep state, it is quite common for anyone to experience an OBE in a sleep state, it’s just that, 1) we don’t always remember them, and 2) if we do, we often pass the OBE off as a really clear and vivid dream, if left undistinguished.
