Category Archives: Healing

Like metal forged in the hot flames to become renewed and stronger, we too can be forged to be renewed and stronger in the hot flames of tribulation.

Going Rouge

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Chris’s transformational journey from being an addict… to his eventually  recovery. 

Chris was a nice church-going youth when he took his first drink at 18. It wouldn’t be long before he found himself in a downward spiral of substance abuse, just a few years later.

Right from the start, Chris’s father was an angry dad. Far too many times, Chris and his brother took the brunt of his anger with his bullying and physical abuse. Complaining of their aches and pains, it was common for Chris to see his parents going for the pain pills to take away their misery. But after years of neglect and abuse at the hands of his father, Chris had his own suffering to relieve.

Chris moved quickly through the drugs; trying whatever was available to him at the time. To spite his parents, he departed from the straight and narrow life they had planned for him. He was on crank by the time he was 20. He liked the speedy feeling it gave him. Sometimes, needing a quick fix that he was unable to get other places, Chris dared to sneak some of his parent’s pills, or his grandparents pills; popping Lortab and snorting Oxycontin. By the time Chris was 23, he was addicted to meth. High on meth, he would go 3 to 4 days without sleep. He took drugs because he didn’t like who he was while sober. Whatever he used, he always used it with alcohol. Time would eventually reveal that no matter what substances were involved, alcohol was his true drug of choice!
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“I’m Not So Far Away!”

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In an after-death-communication, Justin magically says, “Hello” to his mother from the world beyond.

For fifteen years, of Justin’s almost 22 years of life, Justin enjoyed playing “Magic” card
games with his two brothers, Cameron, Daeton, and his father, Paul. After his death, Justin’s mother, Pam, began driving his car. Over a three-year period, she has cleaned out his car repeatedly. Just when she thought she had cleaned it out completely, a “Magic” card would mysteriously show up. Sometimes they have been found in a place she had just cleaned! One another occasion, a “Magic” card dropped on Pam from someplace above her. Pam can’t imagine there could be another card to find, but a few months go by and one shows up again! Pam is elated each time she finds something which reminds her of Justin. She knows it is his way of saying, “Hello! I’m not so far away.”

The last time she cleaned out the car, she found one of his guitar pics!

Commentary- Many times, tangible objects, having to do with the deceased will show up as a reminder of them. Sometimes it is clear that what is being experienced is an after-death-communication. Sometimes… it’s subtle, and therefore; not so clear… so we chalk it up to our imagination or wishful thinking. We may be afraid to believe, for fear we had just been fooling ourselves with such notions. 

The brain is a physical organ that only knows of a finite existence, ending in the death of the body. Why would a brain believe anything outside of its experience, without having an open mind? It most likely wouldn’t, hence the disbelievers. But for those who have experienced themselves beyond brains and bodies, a continuation of life after death is a “No Brainer!” Pardon the pun!
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Signaling the End of Grief

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In an after-death communication, Christian sends a clear signal that it’s time for me to move on with my life.

It was in the wee hours of the morning, on June 9th, 2013, that a strange noise sounded in my house! Wondering what it could possibly be, it was discovered to be the ringtone on my phone! But… what a horrible sound it was that had replaced the beautiful ringtone that was Christian, playing guitar on one of the songs he had created, and played so well.

Confused by what had happened, I grabbed my phone to change the annoying ringtone back to “Skies”, the peaceful melody that reminded me of Christian, every time my phone rang.

I admit, I felt a little hurt and insulted to think that Christian would just remove his ringtone from my phone, as if to say… “Get on with your life, already!!”

Okay… so it had already been 3 years and 70 days since Christian’s death, but I was still experiencing grief. Not painful grief, at this point, but grief, nonetheless. Since Christian’s death had been such a big deal to me, deep sorrow was something I had expected to feel over the loss of him, until the day I died.

My phone rang again. It was the same annoying ringtone that woke me up, just hours earlier that day. Patiently, I changed it back again. I tested the “Skies” ringtone, but it was nowhere to be found. NOWHERE!!! I wondered why…
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Love Continues On…

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After the tragic accident and eventual passing of her beloved boyfriend, Ardit, 19-year-old Albana, is comforted when she receives several messages from Ardit, in a dream.

It was mid August when Albana contacted me with her dream visitation and a question. The email read in part: “I saw a dream last night. I was in my grandparents’ room with my mum. In the bed, there was a little baby of 3 months. The baby was talking to us, and said our name.” Surprised by this, Albana suddenly asked, “Who are you?” The baby answered, saying, “I am Ardit!” (Ardit was her boyfriend who died 3 weeks earlier!)

Then, Albana asked me, “Is this a dream or real sign from him? During the time since his death, I have seen him in other dreams, saying to me that he loves me, he is fine, and begged me to forgive him. Help me to understand please.”

(In a reply to Albana, I write, in part)
“Hello Albana,
I’m sorry for your loss. It sounds like this is a sign. There may be some symbolism involved also. I would need more background information to determine what symbolism was being used. Like for example, the 3-month-old baby saying he was your boyfriend that died 3 weeks ago. If the death time would have been longer than 3 weeks, I would consider reincarnation, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.
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The Beauty of Brain Patterns

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In my last post, Running With The Bulls, I mentioned how a once alive, beautiful 3D experience, given time, eventually integrates and turns into nothing more than a mere memory of something we already know. For example, the birth of a newborn baby. When my first baby was born, I had to take a million pictures of this amazing little, pink creature. My husband and I captured every possible expression that that kid made! We were so enthralled with the creation of our little miracle, that suddenly existed.

Then… there was the second child. Not that we loved her any less, but, you see… we already knew what a miracle looked like. Still… we took a lot of pictures of this adorable little one, but we didn’t quite capture every expression, like we did with the first one! You see, we had already started to become accustomed to the idea of this type of miracle, for we had experienced it once before. And… because of this… we didn’t need to be so present and amazed anymore.

When I thought about how an actual, real live 3D miracle was destined to become part of a person’s brain pattern, this used to really bother me. “How sad.” I’d think. “Why were we created this way? Where is the wisdom in this? Why can’t we be present to such miraculousness all of the time?”
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Higher-Self Communication

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There are times in our lives when we want or need to talk to a particular person in order to complete something of importance, BUT, actually doing so… may seem too difficult for us, if even impossible. Reasons for this lack of communication may include:

  • Not knowing the person well enough, so approaching them could be awkward or even embarrassing.
  • We speak different languages.
  • We’ve lost contact, with no way of locating them.
  • This person may live too far away, and maybe, even so far away that they are no longer on this planet.
  • The person we want or need to speak to isn’t in a good position to be contacted by us, or… if we did contact them, perhaps they would refuse to speak to us, or hear our message.
  • Or maybe… it is even our own pride that prevents us from speaking with them.
  • The one we want to speak to is an animal.

But, it’s possible that this is the most difficult one of all…

  • It could be that the issues between the two are so sticky, that every attempt to sort things through leaves those involved with an attitude of defensiveness and frustration, causing both to walk away while throwing their arms up in the air in sheer resignation!

You may have experienced this before. Completely discouraged by the many attempts to communicate, but to no avail, and now… you’ve finally given up the thought and hope that this issue between the two of you could ever be rectified.

But… whatever the circumstances are, it ends the same; you are left with the sense of the incompletion that continually hangs over your head, just begging to be resolved and put to rest.

More than likely, what you really wanted or needed to tell this person was something that you never got a chance to say; for example: to give an apology, to ask or accept forgiveness, to straighten something out, to make a request or to give them your love and/or blessings? Or maybe, you just wanted to be heard and were uncertain that you ever were in the past.
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Grief and Mourning Distinguished

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Grieving statue

Grieving statue -Photo credit: unknown

“Grief” and “mourning” are words that have been used interchangeably to mean the same thing. But, the fact is, there really is a very important difference between them.

Grief is an emotional reaction/response to loss. Grief tends to follow a common pattern of emotional states, such as shock, confusion, denial, anger, sadness, rage, depression, isolation, to name a few, and…not always in that order. If grief is experienced fully and allowed to unfold naturally, the process gradually leads one to some sort of acceptance and peace with the matter. The grief process is the brain’s way of dealing with a matter it can’t completely comprehend in the moment; so it takes time to sort through it all, be patient with yourself. If a death has been sudden or completely unexpected, comprehension is even more of a struggle, for we operate as if death is somewhere, clear out there, far off on the horizon. The truth is… we really don’t know how far or close death is to us.

Loss is not just about losing someone we love, to death. We may experience intense loss from losing a relationship, our sense of self, our job, our home, our freedom, our health, our dreams or a limb, among many other things that we hold precious and important. Whether great or small losses to us, these examples can seem like a death, that will require a certain amount of grief and mourning, to be determined by the individual who is experiencing the loss. But whatever the loss, remember to give yourself some space to heal properly. Many emotions will surface, to be explored. From my experience, feeling these emotions is much easier than trying to survive them by pushing them under. Buried emotions never rest in peace; like zombies, waiting quietly and thought dead, they will raise themselves up again at the first chance of provocation.
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Choosing Love

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"choosing love" meme

“Keep choosing love” meme

Choosing love doesn’t mean we won’t ever be hurt, disappointed or angry with someone. To ignore our feelings in the face of an upset would be inauthentic, since feelings are a natural part of being human. Choosing love only means that after we have fully acknowledged and experienced our feelings, that we allow the painful emotional energy to move quickly through us. This completion process is what makes healing possible, so we can get back to the business of experiencing our feelings of love again.

Choosing love doesn’t mean we have to share the same beliefs and values as another. It doesn’t mean we have to agree or have the same opinion either. In a world with so much diversity as ours, how could we all see things from exactly the same point of view?
Choosing love only means that we allow another to have his or her perspective, as well.

Choosing love doesn’t mean we have to like the choices people make or actions that they take. Many times we won’t. But, who are we to think someone should live his or her life according to all our expectations anyway? Choosing love only means that we still love them, even if we don’t approve.

Choosing love doesn’t mean you have to forget that someone hurt or violated you or someone you love, although you probably wish you could. Choosing love just means that to heal, forgiveness may be in order… not just for them, but especially for yourself; so you can find peace.
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In Memoriam Of Christian

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… whose life and untimely passing inspired the creation of this site. (Written in March 2013)

Christian, In my heart, I bring you flowers.

Christian, In my heart, I bring you flowers.

It was three years ago to this day that Christian, just twenty-five years of age, suddenly and unexpectedly passed away from a hemorrhaged arterial vascular mass in his brain. Fortunately for him, the painful process that led to his death was short-lived, as the time from onset to his passing only lasted approximately 45 minutes.

Although the process of Christian’s painful death was quick for the loved ones left behind, our painful experience of losing him was just beginning. Even though we were still alive, it was a kind of death for us made manifest in our attempts to live on without him.

Christian was an amazing contribution to this planet. His countenance radiated acceptance, patience and unconditional love. Whenever I got impatient or offended by someone’s words or actions, with the utmost of wisdom and compassion Christian would turn to me and say, “Choose love.” It was a bumper sticker he was referring to- one I picked up for him when I visited a Hindu Ashram in Taos, New Mexico, just 6 months earlier. But… it was also who he was and how he lived his life.

Christian’s death was shocking to those who knew and loved him. The impact of this loss left many to wonder why this amazing light upon the Earth would be taken at a time when the world needed light the most.
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Overcoming Fear- Facing Inner Demons

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Cartoon about comparing Inner Demons

Cartoon about comparing Inner Demons

They’re Ba-ack! I thought I’d already sent them packing once and for all, but apparently they didn’t listen very well. One thing is for sure; they expect you to listen perfectly to them! That’s why they come to catch you in a weak moment… and cornering you within the confines of your own head, relentlessly recite your past mistakes to you; like you somehow weren’t already aware of them! They tell you why you should or shouldn’t have done what you did, followed by a judgment… or five about it! You know, those errors you made in the past when you were young and less experienced. Or… even just yesterday, when you were unaware and didn’t consider every other possible choice than the one you did, and because you didn’t, this left you in a bad spot.

Maybe you’ve noticed them before… those critical voices in your head, that, like the mob coming to extort, yet, another payment from you, badger you, sometimes in a soft and subtle way, and sometimes in a loud and abrupt one. But either way, it all ends the same… they want you to pay for something. Even if you have already paid before, they forget… or don’t care… and come back for more! Their favorite currency is in the form of your guilt, shame and regret. So, unless you are blissfully unaware, conscience-less and don’t care, or have already learned the secret to making them stop, then… welcome to this awesome human experience! (kidding off course)

Throughout time, these disparaging voices have been referred to as, “the critical parent”, “the judge and jury”, “the committee”, or “inner demons”, just to name a few. And because they can be so damn mean, leave some convinced that these “mental tormentors” are really “outer demons”… as who would really do this to oneself?
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The End Is Only The Beginning

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My incredible out-of-body experience while attending a past-life regression seminar in 2010, in Denver, Colorado, as published in Dr. Brian Weiss’s new book, Miracles Happen.

Dr. Brian Weiss at a conference I attended

Dr. Brian Weiss at a conference I attended

Preface-
I attended one of Dr. Weiss’s past-life regression seminars in 2010 in Denver, Colorado. Only seven months prior to this event, I lost my dear Christian to a sudden and unexpected death. It was the worst thing I had ever experienced and it left me a basket case, with so many painful thoughts and questions. At the same time, I had also spontaneously remembered a tragic past life with Christian, that had ended in a similar fashion, which left me feeling even worse.

Because I was so distraught about these losses, Christian’s aunt told me about Dr. Weiss and recommended that I go to an event, saying that maybe I would find some answers or at least feel better. I looked him up and read his books, and they gave me some peace of mind. But when I found out that he was going to be as close as Colorado, I took the opportunity to travel and attend his event. My experience there has helped me so much by changing my perspective.

A face in the clouds of consciousness

Past life regression consciousness

My Actual Experience-
It was the first regression of the day after Dr. Weiss had introduced himself and prepared us for what might be expected and experienced within the context of our time with him. When he put us into a deep state of hypnotic regression, of course I expected to go into a past life, just as I had done times before while listening to his regression CD.

I remember that he had just come to the part where he gives the suggestion to go back to the earliest childhood memory, which I did. Like a child, I found myself in wonder and anticipation of the adventure I would soon discover when he took me back to a previous life. What past-life clues and remnants would I uncover? What would they teach me about my life and myself?
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Out of Body Experiences

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out of body experience

out of body experience

Have you ever had a dream so real that you thought you were actually there? Have you ever felt a tingling feeling or vibration, followed by a sensation of floating out of your body as you drifted off for a nap? Have you ever found yourself consciously aware and interacting inside a dream, as opposed to watching the usual non-sensical images flash by behind your eyelids? If so, you may have had an out-of-body experience!

It is said that 1 out of 10 people have had, at least one OBE in their lifetime, while others in that same group have experienced this phenomenon many times. The truth is, although waking OBE’s are more rare, compared to those occurring in a sleep state, it is quite common for anyone to experience an OBE in a sleep state, it’s just that, 1) we don’t always remember them, and 2) if we do, we often pass the OBE off as a really clear and vivid dream, if left undistinguished.
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Simple Pleasures

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In this after-death communication, Elizabeth gets a surprise visitation when she wakes from her nap on one unsuspecting day,  .

Materializing Spirit

Materializing Spirit

One late afternoon while watching the television in her study, 88-year-old Elizabeth drifted off for a nap. Later, when waking up, but still in that fuzzy state of mind that exists between dreams and wakening, she opened her eyes to see the solid full-body profile of a man facing the dimming light still shining through her living room window. In the next room, only 15 feet away from her, she could hardly believe what she was seeing! Looking closer, she realized that the man her eyes were now sharply fixed upon, was her late husband, Robert, who had died just a few years earlier.

There he was, smiling, as he proudly put on that old favorite jacket he had always worn and loved, but had left behind, along with his body. Elizabeth, seeing the joy in Robert’s face as he donned his old favorite rag, and how fondly he remembered it, was glad that she hadn’t given it away to the thrift shop after his death. Then, within seconds, Robert began to fade, until he disappeared completely.

Commentary- The hypnogogic state is that hazy fuzzy state that is experienced just between sleep and waking. It is rather like the portal that connects this world with the next. Because of the blended realities in this portal, this is a prime time for visions and visitations from another world.

It was appropriate that Robert was facing away from Elizabeth, as not to scare her to death by looking directly at her. But it is possible, because of his lack of attention, that Robert wasn’t aware that Elizabeth was awake and watching him, or even there, for that matter, as his focus was solely on his old favorite jacket.

Although this after-dead communication was short and sweet, it was enough to let Elizabeth know that her beloved husband, was existing somewhere, just beyond this realm, and still enjoying the simple pleasures that this life provided.