In an after-death communication Melanie received thirty years ago, Millie, Melanie’s mother-in-law, appears to comfort and relieve Melanie of her regret and guilt.

Melanie had always been very close to her mother-in-law, Millie. She loved her dearly. So when Ronald, Melanie’s husband at the time, got into a nasty fight with his mother and forbade Melanie from speaking to her, although it was emotionally painful to both her and Millie, Melanie supported her husband’s side of the argument.

Six months passed until Melanie was able to see Millie again. Unfortunately, it was at the hospital, after Millie had already passed. Now, what was left of Millie’s warmth and aliveness was her lifeless body lying in the hospital bed she had recently left. This was difficult for Melanie who had many regrets. During that six month of silence, how could Melanie know she would never see Millie alive again? In light of the new situation, Melanie thought about all that wasted time on something so pointless as this feud. Melanie was sorry to have been apart of it all.

A day or so after attending Millie’s funeral, something woke Melanie up from a deep sleep in the middle of the night. As she sat up in her bed, there was Millie standing at the foot of her bed! Clear as can be, she just stood there quietly! Without the use of any physical words, Millie communicated this powerful, but simple message to Melanie’s mind, “Everything’s okay.” Soon after, Millie vanished into thin air, giving Melanie some well-needed relief.

Commentary- When these types of after-death communications happen, it is common for the deceased loved one to appear in some way to inform their loved one of their well-being. Many times their message will be, “I’m okay.” This is to communicate that they are no longer in pain or discomfort, and/or that they are checking in to let us know they still exist, and safely made it to the “other side.” Either way, this is to put our mind at rest.

Note: If this has not happened with you and your loved one who has passed, please do not assume your loved one is still in pain, does not exist, is in a bad place, or does not care enough to communicate with you. There are many things we don’t understand about the “how’s” and “why’s” of after-death communications. For example, some might wonder, “Why did they come to that person and not me?” “Why did they come in that way and not another way?” “Why did they not come at all?” I will attempt to cover this subject in one of my future posts.

In Melanie’s case, Millie was appearing to comfort and relieve Melanie’s guilt and regret for not speaking to her in those last six months of her life. Millie wanted to be clear that everything was still okay between them; there was nothing to forgive and that, although they were living in two different worlds now, their relationship was still intact. This was a tremendous gift given to Melanie. 

Much of the time, guilt and regret are a normal part of the grief cycle until we work through these painful emotions. It seems that – if we are not blaming someone else for what happened, then, we are blaming ourselves. It’s human nature to imagine that we, or some other human being, should have been much more than human at the time. As humans, we do imperfectly human things. For example, not paying enough attention to our loved one while alive, absent-mindedly or even intentionally ignoring them for whatever reason, being outright mad and rude at them previous to their death… If you are a human, you’re going to do this human stuff – you can’t get around it. But, once this happens to you, it’s a lot easier to be more aware not to get caught in this again. That’s for sure!

During this time of grief, it’s easy to reflect on what you might of done differently. Grief gives us a chance to take a deep look at ourselves. And sometimes, it can seem… almost too deep. Be fair with yourself and others. Be compassionate and objective. But most of all… forgive. No matter who there is to forgive, yourself or others, when you do… your healing increases greatly… and you evolve as a human being, too.