A Tribute to Beloved Christian, New personal challenges on the horizon and the “Shedding Light on Trauma” modality, all tied together in one post

Our Beloved Christian

It was on March 31, 2010, that Christian suddenly left this plane. When I think back now, I remember the severe pain and trauma created from his death and what it brought up for me.

At one point, the pain was too deep to describe. My grief had no language yet, to express what I had suddenly been bombarded with. This is a thing, for sure. With so much bombardment, the brain gets scrambled in many different directions. These are some very challenging times without the words. But eventually we do find them again.

Using the light of the Sun/Son to heal

Photo credit: MGLife/Pixabay

In dealing with this trauma back then, I accidentally discovered a healing tool/modality that helped immensely. I call it, “The Shedding of Light.” For those who prefer a trendier name to the modality, I recommend, “Getting Lit.” It just popped into my head just now.

In deep despair, I would go outside and sit with my face toward the direction of the sun. While gently closing my eyes, I would seek the light of God there; the father of my soul. Surely, If anywhere, I would find comfort there.

Well, the modality worked well. In the light, I would come away enlightened, if even for a moment, I experienced a reprieve. I did this often as I spoke to my Heavenly Father seeking guidance, insight, comfort and peace.

One could use this same modality to seek Divinity, Higher Self or just the healing, life-giving rays of the sun shedding its light. Whatever you choose will work because all light shows us the way in the darkness.

New Developments

It’s just over a month from Christian’s 12 year anniversary now. There have been some new big developments on the horizon. On his life celebration anniversary, I had just been released from the hospital after having had major surgery for Ovarian Cancer. Although, my official story is that I was attacked by a Grizzly bear and won. I crawled off to live another day and tell my tale. I’m not going to say it was easy, however, I was victorious!

I have the mutated BRCA gene which puts me in a high risk category. The serous cancer is a fast and aggressive moving cancer that was running rampant in my body. I inherited this gene from my mother who died of breast cancer at age 44. I was but a child, so I admit that I do have some old baggage with watching her go through all this, and watching her die anyway. So, I have the opportunity to work through this.

Even though I am diagnosed in the beginning of Stage 3, I am fortunate that I even caught this in the first place. It’s a wonder that I even had a single sign to warn me as many do not find out until it’s too late. I am grateful for my body that has always seemed to tell me when something is not right so I can address it. It’s important to tune in and listen to your body. It is the sacred vessel that carries you through life.

The Stages

To get a thorough examination, I was cut open for a good look. They found additional areas of cancer outside of the ovaries/fallopian tubes. Small spots on the pelvis and abdomen were also detected and removed. That is considered 3 different areas or stages of spread. Over the past 5 weeks I have healed well. The body is amazingly resilient.

Systemic Therapy/Systemic Spa Day. Yay!

Today, May 2nd, I have begun Chemotherapy to kill any remaining microscopic cancer cells. Here at the Huntsman Cancer Institute, they are beginning to call this a more transformed name, Systemic Therapy. I have re-labeled my upcoming treatments as my Systemic Spa Day and I hold the IV bags to my body to prepare them and then bless them before they enter my bloodstream.

I’m hoping I’m not being too unrealistic and that the systemic spa part of it holds true throughout this process. Nevertheless, I am calm and peaceful about my choice to do this. It will save my life as without it, my chances of getting cancer again are 100%.

Remembering the Healing Light

On Christian’s life celebration day and while I was freshly home from the hospital, in a weakened state, with eyes closed, the sun shone upon me at that very moment. I instantly remembered the power that, “The Shedding of Light” had on a previously bereaved me. How that light supported and sustained me in my earthly challenges. I actually rediscovered it and realized once again how this simple modality really does work so well. So I used it and immediately felt relief. I will continue to use this in my journey now. I hope you adopt this as well.

My Point

Besides honoring Christian’s life celebration and letting you know about what I’m up to these days, there is something I want to express to you in this post. Through any challenge you may face, as you walk your particular path in life, remember the light that outshines the darkness.  Let it gloriously shine upon you in which ever way you choose. Let it shed its healing, loving and nurturing rays upon you.

While I also am a Hypnotherapist and use the helpful imagination of light penetrating the body and space around a person all the time, I love using the actual brightness and warmth of the sun to achieve this bliss, if even momentarily. I escape the human struggle for a while. It’s great to be in the light’s presence.

I use “The Shedding of the Light” as communion with God. Closed eyes are absolutely for protection from the actual burning-star sun, but also represents a holy and sacred moment with the Divine. Please don’t look at the sun. Thank you.

The Road Ahead…

I’ve got a long road ahead of me. Six treatments every 3 weeks followed by 2 years of immunotherapy. However, I know that this is a part of my path in life and the lessons I can learn, the compassion I can expand in myself for me and others. I think about all the ways I can use this experience to grow and develop in this school of life.

Christian’s Light

I also know that graduating from this school early was Christian’s path. I was told this several times but it didn’t make sense then. I once thought that a huge light was taken from the earth when he left. But now, more than ever, I know that his beautiful light is shining down too, guiding the way through the darkness. Thank you for this, Christian. He would do nothing less for the people on this planet.

Facing challenges on your path? Who are you going to be in the matter?

No matter whatever challenges befall you on your path in life, please know that it is these most fearful experiences, such as, grief, trauma and pain that have the best possibility of bringing the most growth. All challenges like these build courage and greatness. That is… if we bravely and powerfully step into them and do not run away .

Again, these teaching moments are designed to overcome fear and to show you who you are… and even extend the possibility of becoming your new level of greatness. Through these challenges, are you going to be your weakest self (Victim), or your strongest self (Victor)?

I see it as a marker for how far one has come and reveals what is left to transform. Transforming these challenges is where the treasure is. This path leads to achieving personal growth by stretching oneself and a more fulfilling and consistent path of peacefulness and faith.

In the end…

Although you may go through trauma, in the face of it, you get to choose in each moment who you want to be. Sometimes you will forget, and then you will remember again. It’s all about who you are going to be in the matter. Life confronts us with challenges. We must use them for good. To grow, develop and overcome. This is life’s process.

I always see myself as a flower growing toward the sun. Ever-growing, for the sun is my source and provides me with energy. When I don’t feel well, whether in brain, body or spirit, I know I need to go to the source of light. It just works. And sometimes part of our path is to actually go to the light, the ultimate source.

In the end, I have learned from my own spiritual experiences as well as others, that whatever happens, as an infinite soul, we can never really die. In that, I have peace and assurance.

Photo credit: Jill Wellington/Pixabay