The Consolation From Loss

On the day of Michel’s memorial of spreading his ashes in the forest in France, Joanna wonders how her beloved husband would give her a sign.

Joanna writes:
“We had just finished spreading Michel’s ashes in the woods at the same tree in France where Michel’s brothers ashes are. I had been asking for a sign from Michel that day but had no idea what he could scare up in the middle of the forest. But he delivered!”



“Michel loved dogs. He owned many throughout his life, including his favorite breeds of German Shepherd and Golden Retriever. Michel even had a picture of his favorite German Shepherd, Princess, in his wallet while he was alive.”

“As I started to spread Michel’s ashes, a pack of 20 or so dogs came down the trail. There were several Golden Retrievers and German Shepherds in the group. One of the German Shepherds came up to me to sniff and touch my hand. Next, the same dog went to our daughter, Angelique, for acknowledgement. That was right before going to sniff the tree where Michel’s ashes were freshly spread. As this dog lifted his leg to urinate on the ashes, the dog was shoed away by someone in our group. But before running off, I got one last chance to pet this dog. As he ran off, we all sat there stunned. Michel is amazingly resourceful and creative, wouldn’t you say? It was a tough morning, but that made it all worth it!”

“Also, on the way to the Memorial and the spreading of the ashes, Eye of The Tiger came on the radio. This song is significant because Michel used to love Rocky and once took his 6 year-old son, Pascal, to see it with him so many years ago. When this song came on, Michel’s son, Pascal, was in the car at the time.”

Commentary- When asking for a sign, it is always important that we do so with an open mind… because we never know how one might show up. In Joanna’s case, she did not know how it would happen, but still she asked with an open mind. Imagine her difficult day made much lighter when Michel came through! Not only once, but twice!

When Michel manifested the familiar and significant song, Eye of the Tiger, he was giving the sign that he was already with them. I’m sure this particular song was mostly directed at acknowledging his son, Pascal, first. 

Then, shortly after, Michel showed up in the middle of the forest as one of his favorite type dogs that ran down the trail to directly acknowledge Joanna, and then, their daughter, Angelique. Everybody in the group knew this was Michel making a dramatic appearance.

And just to be funny, and to make light of such a solemn event, like Michel would do, this dog actually had the audacity to raise his leg to pee on Michel’s freshly spread ashes. Joanna says this was just his humor. Apparently, Michel was trying to tell his family not to take this whole “death” thing too seriously.

But Michel’s humor is not lost on me. I have seen this nonchalant way of coming through to the bereaved in after-death communications, more than I can say. While we are bawling our eyes out in our grief, sometimes our departed show up to us with humor like Michel did. Sometimes it’s with complete peacefulness, but rarely they are emoting like we are. Although they may experience this originally, when they become aware that they are no longer here, their acclimation from shock and grief to peacefulness, happens relatively quickly. As they gain a greater perspective, illumination sets in and often, when they appear, it’s like they wonder why we are so sad and we wonder why they aren’t. In their new environment of illumination, the weight of the worries of this world are lifted, they are free in a completely peaceful place, while we remain stuck and mired in the thick messiness of human emotions.


photo credit- cocoparisienne/pixabay

But whatever way they show up, it seems to be in an enlightened way. They seem to be much more grounded, much more peaceful and much more wise. I always chalk this up to their new heavenly perspective as opposed to the sometimes, very painful worldly perspective we have, when we think all has been lost in our separation from them.

To our departed loved ones with a greater perspective now, they know full well that they are never without us. But to us… and with our limited view, although we try, although we want to, we don’t always believe that. Far too often, we only believe what we experience with our own 5 physical senses and rule out anything beyond. But, being able to be aware of signs and after-death communications require a certain kind of faith and practice beyond those physical senses. And even a risk, too. As with Joanna’s request of Michel to give her a sign on that special day, it takes an open mind to notice. It also takes an open mind to ask, even risking that nothing happens.

Hopefully, knowing that our loved ones responses to their separation from us is not as devastating as our grief about it, should tell us something important. Remember. They have been enlightened, at least this is what Michel has told me while writing this. Because this is them telling us that whatever we are telling ourselves about our separation and loss… it’s just not true. They are not lost. And we are not really separated. Our departed ones exist just outside our vibrational field now, but they are still around.

I know this idea may seem to be a small consolation compared to the reality of having them physically here with us in the physical realm right now. I know it’s hard and hurts like hell. Though we resist, protest and despise what is so truly devastating to us now, this is our new reality. Eventually we will get there (acclimate) without thinking we are giving up any part of our love for them.

Given time, healing and perspective, the knowledge from this conceptual consolation grows like a seed into experiential knowing. Then, there is an inner-knowing, that despite our limited view that rarely goes beyond the 5 physical senses, somehow we know that our beloveds are with us… always and forever.


photo credit- cocparisienne/pixabay

When we finally know this… the darkness is gone as the light begins to permeate our existence, then… we smile… because, for every moment we know this, we are now enlightened, too.

5 thoughts on “The Consolation From Loss

  1. Hello Jade,

    Thank you for this post. It was very well said by you that we should be open minded to receive the messages from our loved ones.

    I did have a similar experiance, 2days ago. Last week I was missing my boy friend, Raj . So I started asking him to showup in my dream. I was pretty disappointed as I couldn’t see any signs. Last night, while meditating before going to bed, I told him how badly I need him. Around 2 am, there is a song started playing on my mobile. Few things that caught my attention:
    a) Head phones are connected to my mobile. But the song started playing on speaker.
    b) The mobile screen lock is still on.
    c) The song has my boy friend’s name, Raj in its lyrics.
    d) The most interesting fact is about the lyrics:. It says “Raj’s happiness lies in the smiles of his love”

    What else is needed to believe that this is a communication from my sweetheart 😗.

    • Wow! That is awesome. Yeah, what more do you need to believe? 🙂 I’m so happy this happened. It’s so true. Our loved ones are always with us. I know that this is true. And thank goodness we don’t have to go through this world alone. Our angels love and support us. Thanks for sharing, dear. So inspiring! xo

  2. Thanks for sharing your story. I was thinking while reading it that it was funny that the dog was going to pee on the tree with your husband’s ashes. How can we take things so seriously then?
    Thanks Jade for your commentary too. This is a good reminder to those in grief that things do get better.
    I appreciate you both.

  3. Amazing what happens when you are.opening your mind to the possibilities. Thank you Jade for the continued reminder of that. And thank you Joanna for sharing Michel’s communication and way of lightening things up.

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