Signaling the End of Grief

In an after-death communication, Christian sends a clear signal that it’s time for me to move on with my life.

It was in the wee hours of the morning, on June 9th, 2013, that a strange noise sounded in my house! Wondering what it could possibly be, it was discovered to be the ringtone on my phone! But… what a horrible sound it was that had replaced the beautiful ringtone that was Christian, playing guitar on one of the songs he had created, and played so well.

Confused by what had happened, I grabbed my phone to change the annoying ringtone back to “Skies”, the peaceful melody that reminded me of Christian, every time my phone rang.

I admit, I felt a little hurt and insulted to think that Christian would just remove his ringtone from my phone, as if to say… “Get on with your life, already!!”

Okay… so it had already been 3 years and 70 days since Christian’s death, but I was still experiencing grief. Not painful grief, at this point, but grief, nonetheless. Since Christian’s death had been such a big deal to me, deep sorrow was something I had expected to feel over the loss of him, until the day I died.

My phone rang again. It was the same annoying ringtone that woke me up, just hours earlier that day. Patiently, I changed it back again. I tested the “Skies” ringtone, but it was nowhere to be found. NOWHERE!!! I wondered why…

Later on that day…

Later, that same day, I was visiting with a friend in the park, as I was listening to her talk to me, the strangest thing happened. It was as if an urgent memo was immediately sent into my conscious awareness, that said, “You’re done grieving!” I even heard the words speak this to me! Surprised by this new information, I interrupted my friend to say with excitement, “I’m done grieving!” We looked at each other with joy, for we both knew in that moment, I had been healed and released from my pain.

From that moment on...

I never actually thought my grief cycle would or could have had such a precise ending as this, but it did. I had honestly come to accept the fact that I would grieve Christian’s death for the rest of my life. I thought that my grief would eventually trail off, leaving me with less and less pain, until one day… I would be released from this life… and… my sorrows too.

Everyone experiences grief differently. Some grief cycles may drag out and end slowly. Some may never seem to end. While other grief cycles end precisely and abruptly, at the very moment that they do. It all depends on the healing time needed to complete the cycle.

The beauty of the grief cycle is this… if we allow our grief to follow it’s own path to healing, without getting too stuck in some of the cycles challenging areas: shock, denial, sadness, depression, isolation, non-forgiveness, anger, rage, fear and bitterness, proper healing will occur in it’s own due course and time. The grief cycle is an actual cycle. It has a clear beginning and ending that, if we let it… eventually heals and releases us from our pain.

One day, we will remember the loss of our loved one(s) without tears of sorrow, and smile; for we will only be grateful for the time we once had them in our lives.

In an after-death communication, my ringtone changing was quite literally signaling something. It was a signal that something was about to change, involving Christian and myself. It was a clear sign that, instead of constantly being reminded of the loss of Christian, every time my phone rang, Christian was telling me that I was healed, and he wanted me to move ahead with my life, in peace and joy.

Although I love and miss Christian very much, I have finally healed, and my grieving for him has ended, and did so from the moment I was informed in the park. Now, when I remember Christian each day, I smile, as I think about the love and joy he once brought into my life… and still does in every moment!

Please remember this. Those we love… are never far away! They love us, and want our lives to be filled with happiness, peace and joy! If we allow ourselves to move freely through the grief cycle, we will eventually arrive at the sweet space of loving acceptance and peace of mind.


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