Germany 2008

Since I get asked so many of the same questions all of the time, I have added the most frequently asked questions here, along with my answers.

May you find peace and healing on your journey.

How long will I grieve?
The length of the grief process can vary from person to person. It really depends on what happened, your relationship to and with the person who has passed and how you process your loss. Grieving is a cycle. It has a beginning and an ending. Oh sure, after our grieving process has lessened or come to an end, we may still feel sad at times. That’s understandable since we miss them in our lives and may wonder how things might have been, had they continued to live.

Will I ever “get over” him or her?
While you may never completely “get over” the loss of you loved one, more than likely you will heal completely. And if you do, please make sure you don’t feel bad about it. Again, this really depends on what happened, your relationship to and with the person who passed on, and how well you process your loss. I’m sure your loved one wants you to spend your remaining time on Earth as happy and peaceful.

Does grieving my loved one a lifetime mean I will never stop loving them?
Grieving a lifetime does not mean you love them more, or if you stop grieving, that you don’t still love them, it just means that somewhere along the way, you got stuck in your process. It is okay to heal. You will love them even more.

Can my painful loss ever be healed?
Yes. This is the amazing purpose of the grief process! There is a set amount of time it takes for a person to grieve a loss. This amount of time varies from person to person. If you allow it to unfold naturally, without resisting it or making this process “wrong” or yourself “wrong” for experiencing it the way you are, then you will get through it at some point. The only way to impede the grief process is to stop the flow of it in some way.

Is my loved one okay, happy, at peace?
More than likely, this is true. Some souls go straight to “The Light.” Some souls hang out in other realms between our Earth realm and “The Light.” And some souls hang out in the Earth realm. The post, Dawn’s Deceased Neighbor goes into that in detail in the commentary.

I haven’t had an after-death communication yet, is my loved one mad at me?
No. Your loved one is not mad at or disappointed in you, but you wouldn’t believe how many times people think this thought because, many people think what happened to their loved one is partly their fault. When someone passes on, and goes to “The Light”, they tend to soften, to become who they are at the level of their soul. Many personality traits are actually defense mechanisms devised by the brain for Earthly survival. Think EGO! Where we are going, there is no need to survive. We are infinite beings!

How do I get over the grief of losing someone?
Grief is not something you “get over.” It is something you go through. Straight through without any pit stops of resistance, if you really want to get through it the quickest. Like any cycle, there is a beginning, middle and end. In other words… the ride lasts as long as it does, until it stops and then, you can exit it. There are no short cuts to grief. There is nothing to fix. It is a natural process for healing a painful loss. This is a sacred time for you to think and feel your deepest thoughts and feelings; what your loved one means and meant to you, and what you have learned from them. Although it is very painful, it is important to go through this amazing process to the end. You will heal fully and become a greater person in doing so.

What does the grieving process entail?
See, Stages of Grief and I Didn’t See That Coming and Coping with Death and Grieving… How to grieve the sudden and unexpected loss of a loved one.

What is the difference between grieving and mourning?
See, Grief and Mourning.

Why did my loved one suffer so much in this life?
People suffer in life from two things: Circumstances beyond own our choices, and consequences from our own choices. Both are valid since this life, being the realm of opposition, is not about us having constant control of every situation, it is more about seeing who we really are in the face of it and the growth we can take from it, for ourselves.

Is my loved one still suffering now?
This is doubtful. We who suffer, might think our deceased loved ones are suffering too, when really… they are no longer in the world where suffering is even possible.

What constitutes an After-death communication?
After-death communication signs, After-Death Communication Signs.
Examples of After-death communications, After-death Communication.

Was my dream an After-death communication?
If it seems more real than life is, is lucid, or turns lucid from a regular dream and you are aware you are thinking in it when you are with your deceased loved one, then it is probably an after-death communication! You start to get a feeling for it. It just feels different than a dream and usually you remember it with great clarity.

Can my loved one hear my thoughts?
Although they don’t have physical ears anymore to hear your thoughts, they can perceive them, along with your feelings.

How can I communicate with my loved one? There is so much I didn’t get to say.
You can get their attention by calling their name, either out loud or in your mind, then you can talk to them. Say those things you never got to say. Just knowing they can receive your communication can make you feel better. Remember to listen when you are done. Many times you can hear them communicate back. It may be the voice in your head that you think is your voice, but what other voice do they have to use for now?

Also see, Higher-Self Communication. It’s for communicating with all people- those who have gone on and those difficult ones still with us.

Do people deal with loss differently?
Yes. Two members of the same family will react to and process loss so much differently. This does not mean anything is wrong. It’s all in the processing.

Can our dogs and cats see spirits?
Yes! They are very sensitive to those who have passed on. When your pet is staring at something that you can’t see, or following its movement, unless it’s a flying insect, this could be a spirit. Sometimes these images of spirits can be caught on camera when it is invisible to the naked eye.

Are our loved ones from the “Other Side” still aware of us?
More than ever! They are no longer confined to limited conditions.

Why hasn’t my loved one who has passed, communicated or visited me yet?
Sometimes they visit right away. Sometimes it takes some time. Just because they haven’t visited you yet, it doesn’t mean they don’t love or care about you. Perhaps there is a very good reason for this. Perhaps the time is not right yet. Perhaps they have visited you but you didn’t recognize them. Sometimes these visits come through other people. Keep an open and grateful mind and be patient. It will happen when the time is right.

Are children more sensitive to seeing spirits than adults?
While it’s true that children have the capability to see more spirits than adults, it’s mainly because they don’t yet think they can’t. They haven’t been tainted by the resignation of the world’s nay-sayers. Many children who have imaginary friends are actually seeing spirits.