“I Didn’t See That Coming!”

“I didn’t see that coming” is a common phrase said by someone who has been completely blind-sided by the unexpected, in this case, the unanticipated loss of something cherished. It is the mental, psychological and emotional energy created from this loss that forcefully thrusts us into a tailspin of thoughts and emotions we would rather not think and feel!

As humans, we operate as though life is predicable, never thinking that at any moment there could be a huge interruption in it that informs us otherwise. But, what’s really so is this; life is made up of a series of many random events that we have very little conscious control over. Sometimes we go for long periods of time without one unpleasant experience, then… something happens… and maybe we experience a long string of them.
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Coping with Death

…and the road ahead.

I heard the shocking news last week; Randy, a long-time friend of mine had suffered a fatal heart attack. Grateful that a mutual friend remembered to notify me, I was able to attend the “life celebration” held in his honor.

As I listened to the sentimental stories people shared from the microphone, I couldn’t help but hear the other side of this, and how much his physical presence would be missed in the every day lives of others, especially, those closest to him.
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Grief and Mourning… What’s the Difference?

What is Grief?
Grief is the normal and natural reaction to loss. The grieving process may be set into motion anytime one experiences any form of loss, whether it seems significant or not.

This grief reaction can range from the loss of an item to the loss of a dream, the death of a bad relationship to the death of a great relationship. One may grieve a person they loved and knew well, while another may grieve someone they never met. Celebrity deaths, missing children and abductee deaths, featured on the news, are examples of this. Some people, who seem depressed in life, may actually be grieving the current condition of our world and planet. Continue reading

Be Here Now!

With the two year anniversary of Christian’s passing quickly approaching tomorrow, March 31st, I’ve had a lot of heaven on my mind.

I’ve been thinking about my loved ones that have gone before me, and how much I’ve missed them from my life.

I’ve been remembering the short visits to heaven I’ve had during dreams, near-death, and out of body experiences, where I felt God’s full presence and the pure love that exists there. And, although I am extremely grateful for the knowledge these experiences have brought me, the downside is that many times, I experience an intense longing to be there, rather than here.
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Stages of Grief

Grief is a normal response to a painful loss. Made up of many emotional states, the grief process is the inward journey we must take if we are to heal the pain associated with our loss.

Although this article is geared toward grief over the death of a loved one, the grief cycle is relevant for any loss. The grief process provides a natural way for us to recover from our loss and move forward.

Generally the grief cycle includes: shock and denial, bargaining, pain, anger, depression and finally, acceptance. However, depending on the individual and the circumstances involved, navigating this terrain can be much more complicated.
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Alchemy of Loss

lostA marriage ends after thirty years. The kids are all grown, but still….

A breadwinner in a small town loses his job and with it, the means to support his family. He feels like a failure. He looks at the trusting faces of his wife and children and feels helpless. He doesn’t want to let them down.

Upon examination, the doctor tells her, “There’s a serious problem. Get your life in order…. You have no more than six months to live.” Shock and disbelief set in. The clock starts ticking…
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Death’s Painful Sting

I wrote this poem in two stages. The first part is about the horrific emotions I felt, and the state of mind I was in, almost immediately. The beginnings of this poem emerged within a few weeks of Christian’s death, and for months, I felt the painful depths of each and every word I wrote.

It wasn’t until I was on the edge of life and death, or as I call it, “the living dead” that I could not hang on anymore. I begged my God to take me home. It was in God’s reply back to me that showed me a future, somewhere out there on that dark horizon. And even though, at the time, I wasn’t sure how I would emotionally arrive at it, I could, at least see where my journey was taking me. So, I wrote down the words of God. After doing so, I could see that God was making a promise to me, to hold on, in time I would be healed of the terrible grief I experienced, and even better; that a powerful transformation would occur in my life. Is all I had to do was to keep an open and loving heart, trust and follow the path and road signs (words) God laid out for me, in the second part of my poem.

By the end of it all, I could see through the illusion of death and that life just does what life does. It’s not personal. By the grace of God, I learned to have grace myself, and see that, although loss is very sad, there is no reason to fear separation from another; for in an infinite reality, we are, and always will be connected. We are infinite beings! It is just the illusion of separation of ourselves in this life, that confuses us so much.

                                 (For my Beloved Christian, who left this realm, March 31, 2010)

Death’s Painful Sting by Jade  

How cold and cruel is death’s painful sting,

As tears falls from swollen eyes.

Then tales of separation,

Begin to speak their lies.

 

They tell you that you’ve lost,

The one you love so much.

Forever to be gone,

Coldly taken by death’s touch.

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