Going Rouge

Chris’s transformational journey from being an addict… to his eventually  recovery. 

Chris was a nice church-going youth when he took his first drink at 18. It wouldn’t be long before he found himself in a downward spiral of substance abuse, just a few years later.

Right from the start, Chris’s father was an angry dad. Far too many times, Chris and his brother took the brunt of his anger with his bullying and physical abuse. Complaining of their aches and pains, it was common for Chris to see his parents going for the pain pills to take away their misery. But after years of neglect and abuse at the hands of his father, Chris had his own suffering to relieve.

Chris moved quickly through the drugs; trying whatever was available to him at the time. To spite his parents, he departed from the straight and narrow life they had planned for him. He was on crank by the time he was 20. He liked the speedy feeling it gave him. Sometimes, needing a quick fix that he was unable to get other places, Chris dared to sneak some of his parent’s pills, or his grandparents pills; popping Lortab and snorting Oxycontin. By the time Chris was 23, he was addicted to meth. High on meth, he would go 3 to 4 days without sleep. He took drugs because he didn’t like who he was while sober. Whatever he used, he always used it with alcohol. Time would eventually reveal that no matter what substances were involved, alcohol was his true drug of choice!
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Choosing Love

"choosing love" meme

“Keep choosing love” meme

Choosing love doesn’t mean we won’t ever be hurt, disappointed or angry with someone. To ignore our feelings in the face of an upset would be inauthentic, since feelings are a natural part of being human. Choosing love only means that after we have fully acknowledged and experienced our feelings, that we allow the painful emotional energy to move quickly through us. This completion process is what makes healing possible, so we can get back to the business of experiencing our feelings of love again.

Choosing love doesn’t mean we have to share the same beliefs and values as another. It doesn’t mean we have to agree or have the same opinion either. In a world with so much diversity as ours, how could we all see things from exactly the same point of view?
Choosing love only means that we allow another to have his or her perspective, as well.

Choosing love doesn’t mean we have to like the choices people make or actions that they take. Many times we won’t. But, who are we to think someone should live his or her life according to all our expectations anyway? Choosing love only means that we still love them, even if we don’t approve.

Choosing love doesn’t mean you have to forget that someone hurt or violated you or someone you love, although you probably wish you could. Choosing love just means that to heal, forgiveness may be in order… not just for them, but especially for yourself; so you can find peace.
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Overcoming Fear- Facing Inner Demons

Cartoon about comparing Inner Demons

Cartoon about comparing Inner Demons

They’re Ba-ack! I thought I’d already sent them packing once and for all, but apparently they didn’t listen very well. One thing is for sure; they expect you to listen perfectly to them! That’s why they come to catch you in a weak moment… and cornering you within the confines of your own head, relentlessly recite your past mistakes to you; like you somehow weren’t already aware of them! They tell you why you should or shouldn’t have done what you did, followed by a judgment… or five about it! You know, those errors you made in the past when you were young and less experienced. Or… even just yesterday, when you were unaware and didn’t consider every other possible choice than the one you did, and because you didn’t, this left you in a bad spot.

Maybe you’ve noticed them before… those critical voices in your head, that, like the mob coming to extort, yet, another payment from you, badger you, sometimes in a soft and subtle way, and sometimes in a loud and abrupt one. But either way, it all ends the same… they want you to pay for something. Even if you have already paid before, they forget… or don’t care… and come back for more! Their favorite currency is in the form of your guilt, shame and regret. So, unless you are blissfully unaware, conscience-less and don’t care, or have already learned the secret to making them stop, then… welcome to this awesome human experience! (kidding off course)

Throughout time, these disparaging voices have been referred to as, “the critical parent”, “the judge and jury”, “the committee”, or “inner demons”, just to name a few. And because they can be so damn mean, leave some convinced that these “mental tormentors” are really “outer demons”… as who would really do this to oneself?
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Adversity… Susan’s Growth through Tragedy

Susan’s story of losing her partner, the love of her life, to death in a brutal explosion and her victory over adversity.

At 47, Susan had finally found the love of her life in Dennis, and he with Susan too. Strongly committed to their relationship, they expected to spend the rest of their lives together. But 4 1/2 years into their relationship together, the day came when Dennis and Susan’s world would tragically change.

Dennis was a painter by trade. He owned his own business and just happened to employ Susan’s former husband, Neil. At work, on this one fateful day, Dennis had a small oil-based paint job to finish. Dennis, having some other things to do, asked Neil to finish the job. But Neil, not wanting to use the oil-based paint, declined and went outside to eat his lunch instead. So needing to get the job done, Dennis decided to go ahead with it. After all, someone had to do it.

As Dennis began to spray, and being too close to a furnace, within minutes, an explosion occurred.  Badly burned and injured, but still alive, Dennis was rushed to the hospital in an attempt to save his life.
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Surrender

Knight in Battle

Knight in Battle

It’s not always about being cowardly as you raise up the white flag in surrender. It’s not always about ending the long battle in defeat with your head hung low in shame.

Surrender may be about courageously getting off your “high horse” for the possibility of seeing another point of view.

And sometimes…  surrendering the old perception for this fresh new point of view is exactly what is needed for your greatest and highest good.

Forgiving the Perpetrator

Recently, a client of mine recommended the documentary called “Forgiving Dr. Mengele.” This documentary focused on the torment victims were made to endure in the concentration camp of Auschwitz, during the time of Nazi, Germany, specifically the sets of twins whose lives were spared for the sole purpose of human experimentation by the sadistic and infamous Dr. Josef Mengele. He chose twins because with them, he had the perfect control group at his disposal. He ran experiments on one of the twins to measure the results against the other. To Dr. Mengele, these people, mainly children, were as lab rats. He was a cruel narcissist that had no regard for them as human beings. Clearly, these people experienced horrors that were unimaginable to many in the world.
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Bridge of Forgiveness

“He who cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass…”
-George Herbert

Bridge of Forgiveness- actual bridge

Bridge of Forgiveness

It is the nature of human beings to make mistakes. We all do it.

To not forgive another for their mistakes is to condemn and imprison them in our own thinking of them.

But in this thinking, who is really the condemned prisoner? And who holds the key to our release? Them or us?

 

 

Be Here Now!

a stairway into the heavens

Stairway to heaven

With the two year anniversary of Christian’s passing quickly approaching tomorrow, March 31st, I’ve had a lot of heaven on my mind.

I’ve been thinking about my loved ones that have gone before me, and how much I’ve missed them from my life.

I’ve been remembering the short visits to heaven I’ve had during dreams, near-death, and out of body experiences, where I felt God’s full presence and the pure love that exists there. And, although I am extremely grateful for the knowledge these experiences have brought me, the downside is that many times, I experience an intense longing to be there, rather than here.
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The Beautiful Unfolding of YOU!

A blooming rose

The Blossoming of you

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
Anais Nin

Whatever you may encounter on your journey through life, face it with strength and courage.

It is often fear of the unknown that keeps us frozen and stuck in the safety of what we have already known. And ironically, being afraid to go forward, we run the risk of risking ourselves.

So, with eyes, arms, hearts and minds wide open, bravely risk unfolding to continually become the most beautiful blossom you were meant to be.

 

 

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross.. “Ask and you will be given.”

Dr. Kubler-Ross

Dr. Kubler-Ross

I’ve selected this story from Dr. Kübler-Ross because it is such an inspiring classic of a near-death experience. It illustrates an example of a man that had given up all hope. After losing his entire family all at once, this man was naturally devastated. The experience he was about to have would completely change his life forever.

If you are grieving and barely hanging on, read this story carefully. Sometimes, like the man in the story, we are called on to face great trials in our lives. But hang on, there’s often more to the picture than we can understand from our limited perpective.
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