Moving Forward After Loss

In a moment of deep sorrow, Lynda’s departed husband, Jason, compassionately reminds his beloved wife, that he is not his ashes. 

Lynda writes:
“Last summer, I went to my cabin where I left Jason’s ashes. That’s where he loved to be. I had not seen them since I put them in the box the year before. I usually just hug the box they are in, but this time, I had a desperate need to see and feel his ashes through the plastic. I was hoping it would give me some closure. I miss him very much.”

“The first night, I sat and watched a movie with the bag on my lap. It was very comforting. The next day, I found myself hugging the bag of Jason’s ashes and crying. I kept telling myself, “It’s not him” and that I needed to let go of his physical remains. Then, I heard a voice in my head repeating, “It’s not ME!” This seemed odd, as I had ME, telling myself that it was not HIM. It was so clear that I immediately felt it was Jason, and he was with me, and affirming all this, which was very comforting. I still can’t bring myself to spread Jason’s ashes yet, but have been thinking about it.”

“I’ve also spent a lot of time clearing out my garage and basement. I kept getting a tingling on the back of my neck that makes me shiver really hard. I have never experienced that before. I talk to him a lot there, and it is a comforting feeling.”

Commentary- It’s coming up on two years since Lynda’s beloved husband, Jason, crossed over from this world to the next. Although she’s spent time grieving, Lynda’s pain is still fresh, as she continues to work her way through the many layers of loss and grief.

Although she somehow manages to carry on, her life is much different now. She spends her days keeping busy, as this staves off the relentless pain still lying beneath the surface. She misses Jason deeply, as he will always have a special place in her heart, mind and soul.

Having the need for some closure, Lynda went to her cabin to hold Jason’s ashes. There… she put them on her lap, she held them, she hugged them as she cried and expressed to him her feelings of love and loss. So, it is no surprise that, upon perceiving this, Jason compassionately chimed right in, to remind his beloved that the ashes she was focusing on, were neither him, nor where he resides. For sure, Jason was with his wife in her struggle that day, and for sure, he heard her pleas and tried to comfort her.

Although we may have physical remains to hold, whether they be ashes, clothes or other material remnants once owned by the departed, and they provide some comfort, to have and hold for a while, there is also something very sad about having these remains, while knowing they can never replace what was lost. But we hold them nonetheless.

Lynda still holds onto Jason’s remains, that’s okay, there’s no rush. When the time is right to let go of his remains, she will know and it is only for her to say. When one is in the midst of a grief cycle, there is no such thing as just being able to move on. That would imply skipping the vitally important steps that could get one over the bridge of chaos and upheaval to one’s eventual healing. There is no moving on, there is only moving forward. And sometimes, it’s one step forward, two steps back. But nevertheless, go through the steps with grace, whatever they are for each individual, and only move to the next step when completely ready. If this step of the process is pushed too fast, the result might be adding additional emotional grief, such as guilt and regret, unnecessarily heaped on an already painful set of emotions to work through. 

 Lynda mentioned experiencing a tingling feeling of being touched while she worked in her garage and basement. This was not Lynda’s imagination and is something commonly felt, if one is attuned to feeling it. When a spirit touches you, it is their actual energy field that is making contact with yours. When this happens, there is no mistaking it, as it is strong enough to get your attention. It could feel like a bug is on your skin, that you may try to brush away, yet, there is no bug in sight. The spirit touch has the sensation of a soft energetic electrical field, hence the tingling. You can even stare at it while it is happening and see nothing, but the feeling of this amazing contact of warmth and love is definitely prominent. This type of spirit touch is to inform you that your loved one is with you. 

For a few days, while I was corresponding with Lynda about some of the details of her post, she informed me that, after all this time being reluctant about spreading Jason’s ashes, just yesterday morning, she started to get the strong feeling that she would be able to do it soon. Her intuition showed her a particular time and place and the people who would be gathered. As it would happen, family will be in town at such a time. If Lynda is indeed ready at this time, it would be a great time, for those who love him, to celebrate the life and afterlife of Jason. If she’s not ready yet… then, she can always change her mind.

Hmm, though, it does seem that Jason could be involved with this inspired thought, and prompting Lynda. I’m certain of this, because… also in our correspondence, I was telling Lynda that when I work on a post, I am so focused on that departed loved one, Jason, in this case, that many times, they will show up in some way, shape or form, by giving me a direct empathic experience, an insight of understanding or even direct messages channeled through me for the bereaved.

So… later, when I wrote about the part where Jason repeatedly told Lynda in her head, “The ashes are not ME”… surprisingly it happened. A message in the form of a Valentine’s Day poem from Jason came through my mind and hands as I typed it out. As it turns out… Jason is a poet. For Lynda, he writes…

“I am not my ashes, they are no longer me.
I am much more now, than I could ever be.
I’m not confined to places, as I am all around.
But, always in your heart, dear, is where I can be found.”

One of life’s greatest miracles is that it is possible for us to eventually and completely heal from the deepest devastating pain that can so brutally upended our lives. It’s miraculous that we can move forward from our losses with our love for each other, intact; Lynda on the physical side, Jason on the spiritual. They still continue to have the bond of love for each other, as death has not upended that.

And although the remains of our departed are important for a time, the greater version of them is boundless and can never die. In this world of short-term pain and tears from our losses, it is the long-term view of hope and strength that will take us through to the rest of our lives, until through tears of joy, our love will reunite us once again.

Heart

Heart Image:Pixabay

Transforming Tragedy

Good and bad things happen in this dualistic world. Having an enlightened perspective can make all the difference in healing the wounds from these nightmares.

Bridgette writes:
“Both of my children were bi-racial. But this had nothing to do with their murders, it just made it difficult in their lives, as well as mine. I met their dad in High School when I was 15. At 16, I became pregnant with Tim and my parents sent me to a Catholic maternity home in New Orleans, when I was 4 months pregnant. They literally dropped me off. I was there through all the holidays and had no communication with them whatsoever. It was already decided for me, that I would give my baby up for adoption.”

“I can’t remember when my due date was, but the doctor said the baby was so big that he needed to induce labor and perform a c-section. At that time, I decided to call my parents to tell them that I would be keeping my baby. I was told I couldn’t come home if I kept that ‘nigger’ baby.” Continue reading

Spiritual Guidance

In this after-death communication, Bonnie receives validation that her departed father watches over his family… even still.

Bonnie writes:
“I believe in life after death 100%. My dad once gave me a message in my dream to bail my son, Robert, out of jail who was in lockup for driving without a license. And sure enough… when I woke up, there was a message saying to come & bail my son out from Fairfax County lockup. This message was left two o’clock in the morning when I was asleep. My dad was very close to my son and me. Our parents watch over us.”

Commentary- Our departed loved ones watch over us from beyond, even when we think they might be doing something else. Their love, care and concern for us does not diminish, even if we think they are far removed from us. This is clear from Bonnie’s example. Continue reading

Life’s Unusual Circumstances

When Elisa and Nancy separately make investments in the same stock, at around the same time, Elisa suspects that Eric is guiding them from beyond.

Elisa writes:
“I dreamt of Eric last night, after so long. It was in an office setting, but not my old office. When I arrived, I saw that he was in his office and I went to mine, waiting for him to call, as I saw that he was busy writing. But he looked at me and his face was so clear and vivid.”

“Then, he came to my office, kissed my head and left.” Continue reading

The Consolation From Loss

On the day of Michel’s memorial of spreading his ashes in the forest in France, Joanna wonders how her beloved husband would give her a sign.

Joanna writes:
“We had just finished spreading Michel’s ashes in the woods at the same tree in France where Michel’s brothers ashes are. I had been asking for a sign from Michel that day but had no idea what he could scare up in the middle of the forest. But he delivered!” Continue reading

Heavenly Signs

When Liz gets an after-death communication from her father to reveal his presence, she usually sees it in the sky.

Cross in the sky

Cross in the sky

Liz writes:
“My partner and I were on holiday. On our last afternoon we were having a few drinks in a pub and when I looked into the sky, I saw a cloud formation in the shape of a cross. To be perfectly honest, I was thinking nothing profound. Although I do spend a lot of time thinking about my Dad, and talking to God, at this moment we were just sitting there.”

“But this time, I was quick enough to take a picture, unlike the last time. My partner saw it too, unlike the last time. I believe it was something, but why, who, what?” Continue reading

Eclipsing Life

As the moon passed over the sun in August’s eclipse, my cousin, Craig, peacefully eclipsed this life.

Throughout his adult life, my cousin, Craig, had his share of health issues, stemming from Cancer, to Lyme’s disease, to Multiple Sclerosis. Being a Scientist, whether it was a macrobiotic diet or something else he tried, he always found ways to either heal, or at least keep these diseases at bay. But, later on in his life, Craig came to experience complications from some of these debilitating diseases that left him struggling and unable to overcome.

It was February of 2017 when things took a turn for the worse. Craig came down with an infection that he couldn’t shake. The writing was on the wall. His loved ones knew his inevitable passing was closing in on both, him and them. Continue reading

Death… Our Greatest Adventure Yet!

Although 80 miles away, Jo experiences the final moments of her father’s transition from life to death in an extraordinary send off.

Jo writes: “On the night of 29 September 2013, I was asleep in my bed in north London (England), and my father was over 80 miles distant, in a dementia nursing home on the south coast.  I was jolted awake at around 1:30am, and sat up in the darkness.  A tremendous, intense, unworldly, rushing energy had filled the room.  I couldn’t see it, but I could sense it, and it was ‘sparkling’.  “Dad!” I exclaimed.  I knew it was him.  And I knew that he was dying, and that had come to me to help him push over.  And somehow I knew what he needed, and what I had to do.  I concentrated all my energy, and wished him all the peace and love and energy that I had in me – and forgiveness – and it felt both personal and universal.  I do not know how long this went on for as time stood still.  And then I lay back down and I looked through the portal in the back of my eyes* and I saw a vision of the light – that clichéd image – a giant door-shaped hole in the darkness, and silhouetted against it were countless figures, outlined by the light, all slowly streaming toward it.  And I felt very great peace, and I drifted from this vision back into sleep.” Continue reading

Shedding a Tear

As Shenique and her son say goodbye to their beloved husband and father at his viewing, he says goodbye back to them in the most unexpected way.

Shenique writes:
“Have you ever heard of a dead man crying for real? Well, it has been 8 years since my husband was killed. At his viewing, when my son and I said our last goodbyes, a tear came from my husband’s left eye. It was clear as day! Would you happen to know the meaning or what he was telling us?”

Commentary- Although it would seem unusual for a tear to fall from a departed loved one’s eye, stranger things have happened. The tear drop is a symbol of emotional expression. In this case, some messages of expression could be, “I’m sad my life ended so soon.” “This wasn’t supposed to happen this way.”  “I’m sorry you will have to go through the pain of this.” “I’m Sorry to Leave You.” “I’ll miss you and the life we had together, dearly.” and ” Goodbye for now.” Continue reading

Music As a Medium

Music is a common message medium from beyond. As Kathy looks for a sign, she receives these after-death transmissions from her beloved husband, Rich.

Kathy writes:
“In October of 2016 I was taking a class offered by Jade on “Becoming Your Own Medium”. The course was on a Friday night via conference call. I was sitting in bed with candles, phone, and ready for the class call. I remember one of the class participants saying that once in awhile she would ask for a sign from her loved one. So I thought, why not, and asked Rich, my deceased husband, to join us, as I had not received a sign in awhile. I fell asleep during the end of the class hypnosis.” Continue reading

Feathers From Our Angels

Three different women each receive the sign of a feather from the angel they love, who loves them too, and is watching over them from beyond. 

Sanjita writes:

Sanjita's Feather

Sanjita’s Feather

“Early on one Sunday morning, I found a little feather where I take shower everyday. It looks so awkward for the feather to be there because I live alone in my house. Secondly, the bathroom doesn’t have a window. Thirdly, the bathroom door is always closed after I use it and this is my first time seeing a little feather sticking on the bathroom wall.”

“The day before this happened, I was thinking about and talking to my departed best friend, Sadgunnan, because for so long there was no contact. I got busy with life and also, was traveling. As I spoke, I told him that I’m not sure where he is. Deep in my heart I was thinking if there is another moment, I wish I can see him or be with him just for a little while. I knew I was missing him and I told him to show me some signs that if he’s still around me. Usually he will come in my dreams, but to my surprise I saw a tiny feather at the bathroom the next morning. It’s impossible for any birds to fly in because there is no window in the bathroom.”

Soul Mates

Lee loses her closest friend and soul mate, Mike, through suicide. However, despite her great loss, Lee is comforted to know that they are still connected.

Lee writes:
“I had only one friend I was very close to growing up. The way we met made me know right from the start that he was going to be important to me.”

“The night before I met Mike, I felt done, and just couldn’t go on anymore. I talked myself down and told myself to go one more day, that maybe it would get better. The next day was the school dance. I walked into the cafeteria to get a drink and everything in the room stopped. At the time it really freaked me out. I couldn’t hear anything… everything had just stopped! I looked across the room and there he was waving to me. We didn’t say a word to each other; no names, nothing until the next day. We both talked about how everything had stopped and talked about how weird it all was. We were inseparable from that point on. We were very close without trying.” Continue reading

The Wonder of It All

In this after-death communication, as Reyna wonders… baby Connor lets his mother know that he is still around.

On June 1, 2015, Reyna lost her son, Connor. That was two years ago to the day. He was only 9 months old when SIDS tragically claimed his life. Reyna was 7 months pregnant with his baby sister at the time.

Image: Pixabay

lost pacifier (Image: Pixabay)

About 8 months after Connor’s passing, his “it’s a boy” pacifier that Reyna previously got at a baby shower for his, then, upcoming birth, disappeared and went missing for 4 months.

Finally, on the morning of June 1, 2016, while Reyna was sitting on the bed, Connor’s blue pacifier all of the sudden resurfaced right in front of her. This was an important day, as it was the one year anniversary of Connor’s passing!

“It was weird though,” Reyna explains, “because I had lost this plastic blue pacifier from Connor’s baby shower and I was wondering where it was.”
Continue reading

They Really Do Hear Us!

A few days after posting Karen’s latest after-death communication from Marcus, Messages Through Meditation, she phoned me to report an interesting development.

Before leaving for work that morning, Karen and Marcus’s Aunt were texting back and forth about the story, Messages Through Meditation, I recently posted on this site. This was only a precursor for what was to soon come.

Marcus

Marcus

May is Marcus’s birthday month. It will be the second year since his untimely passing that Karen will not be able to celebrate his birthday with him. Back in October of 2015, sadly, Marcus ended up taking his life when he lost his battle with bipolar depression. Although Karen has forgiven him, of course, her loss is still difficult.

On her way to work this particular morning, Karen was talking to Marcus in the car. More specifically, Karen was stating her displeasure of having to live her life without him in it. Well, she told me, she might have actually been yelling a little bit too, as she asked “Why?” You see… Marcus was the love of Karen’s life. Continue reading

Still Here… 40 Years Later!

In this after-death communication, Kathi receives an auditory visit from her beloved brother, Kenny, who passed away 40 years prior. 

Kathi writes:
“My brother passed away in 1977 of a very rare disease. We were very close. After his death, I had many dreams of swimming in the ocean together, birds sitting and watching me, and twice of being escorted into a room somewhere in the heavens, where he was sitting in a chair waiting. I saw only from the waist up. We talked about family, life etc.” Continue reading