They Really Do Hear Us!

A few days after posting Karen’s latest after-death communication from Marcus, Messages Through Meditation, she phoned me to report an interesting development.

Before leaving for work that morning, Karen and Marcus’s Aunt were texting back and forth about the story, Messages Through Meditation, I recently posted on this site. This was only a precursor for what was to soon come.

Marcus

Marcus

May is Marcus’s birthday month. It will be the second year since his untimely passing that Karen will not be able to celebrate his birthday with him. Back in October of 2015, sadly, Marcus ended up taking his life when he lost his battle with bipolar depression. Although Karen has forgiven him, of course, her loss is still difficult.

On her way to work this particular morning, Karen was talking to Marcus in the car. More specifically, Karen was stating her displeasure of having to live her life without him in it. Well, she told me, she might have actually been yelling a little bit too, as she asked “Why?” You see… Marcus was the love of Karen’s life. Continue reading

Knock It Off!

Cassie’s Grandfather shows up in many small ways to say he is with her and supports her from beyond, but says, “Knock it off with the family fighting!”

Cassie's Grandfather

Cassie’s Grandfather

Cassie writes:
“I recently lost my Grandfather in October of 2016. But, the last time I spoke to my Grandfather was June 19th, 2016, which was the day after my wedding. He stood up for my father, who abused all of his children. I tried to reach out to him during the summer and he refused to talk to me.” Continue reading

Grieving in Secret

After Elisa’s secret lover, Eric, suddenly and unexpectedly passes away, she faces the pain, guilt and grief of her loss, alone. 

When Elisa contacted me for help after “her friend”, Eric, unexpectedly passed, like so many other people, in my years of advising people, she didn’t quite give me the full story. What I mean is… she gave me the “safe” story first, while she tested the waters. It wasn’t until she could gauge my response and if she could trust me in not judging her, that she felt safe enough to share the whole story of what happened and why she was so deeply grieved in more ways than usual.

You see, like anyone who fears being judged by others, and the added pain it can bring to an already difficult situation, Elisa was hesitant to tell me that Eric was not just her friend. But after a few emails back and forth, she finally told me that he was her boss, and married boyfriend, too, and that, for many years, she and Eric were involved in a secret relationship.

In her own words, and with Elisa’s permission, I share parts of her emails.
“I am a divorcee, and was pretty happy with my life before him, but he won me over with his charm, his wit, his words and his intelligence. As a busy CEO of many offices, I did not see him everyday, only once a week when he came to his office at my workplace. But, we spoke on the phone every work day! Not long, maybe half and hour, sometimes more. The best thing, which I miss so much are those calls. We sure talked A LOT!” Continue reading

Stuck in His Own Private Hell

When Laura happens onto an after-death communication gathering, through a psychic medium, Laura’s father attempts to claim his mistakes and begs her forgiveness.

Laura writes:
“My dad took his life 8 years ago. When he was living, we did not have much of a relationship. He was a mean alcoholic and a son of a bitch. He was an OBGYN as well. I survived a lot of trauma from him through my years; physical and mental abuse.”

“As I grew up and moved away, I really didn’t have much to do with him. I always, though, had a feeling I was molested somehow or that he “did” something to me. But, because I had no memory of it, I could not be sure.”

“At age 48, I went to a ADC gathering with a very powerful medium, named Celena. At this gathering, as she got to me, she gave me a lot of great guidance from my angels/guides. But then she said that my dad needed to say something. I told her “no.” And then my grandmother came through (my dad’s mom), and I asked her to tell me. She said, “It is not to be said in this room of people.” Yikes! I thought!” Continue reading

50 Shades of Grief (Process)

“50 Shade of Grief (Process)” shows the gradual evolution of the many emotional and mental states we have the possibility of passing through, as we travel on the road to grief recovery. Keep in mind, no two grievers are the same; some will visit all of these stops, while other grievers will experience just some.

Grieving is a very personal journey. It is also wise to mention, that although there is an order of emotional and mental states to experience, grief can happen in any order. What is common though, is that the first part of this chart is experienced before the last part of the chart. 

In the end… this chart represents a successfully completed, grief recovery journey; starting from entering into the long tunnel of darkness… and exiting out the other end;  into the light.

Blessings on your sacred journey. May you find peace and complete healing at the end of your tunnel.

(Dedicated to the memory of Christian who crossed over on, March 31, 2010, just six years ago today. We love and miss you dearly.)

Companion to- 50 Shade of Grief (Process) Explained    (Click image to enlarge)

A meme which documents the grief process from Shock to Rebirth

A meme which documents the grief process from Shock to Rebirth

Messages From the Moth

In a series of after-death communications, Lucas visits his grieving mother in a variety of different ways – letting her know that her son is still around, being his usual self.

Lillie writes:

lucas

Lucas

“I was reading an after-death communication article on your website; specifically physical phenomena. My son, Lucas, died in his bedroom on August 1st, 2015. He was 26 years old. Unfortunately, he died of a drug overdose – he supposedly bought heroin but it was fentanyl and procaine mixed together instead.”

“I was totally shocked when I read it on his cell phone in a text message, because he didn’t do heroin. His friends were shocked too. I guess he was really struggling. His girlfriend broke up with him in June. He became very depressed over that and started acting very strange in July. The doctor had put him on an anti-depressant called Paxil. I thought that was what was making him so strange. I don’t know if the Paxil gave him suicidal thoughts – he was only on it for a month.” Continue reading

What is it Like to Lose a Child?

In this heart-wrenching post, Rebecca answers this unthinkable question, What is it like to lose a child? After having him for 23 years, Rebecca lost Kenny on July 6, 2012. She has been working through her grief ever since. One day last summer, she found the website, Quora, and saw, of all questions in front of her… this one. There it was… Rebecca’s invitation to share her most private and deepest thoughts and feelings with all the world. 

Quora asks: What is it like to lose a child?

Rebecca’s reply:
“This is a tough question to answer as it brings all the pain I try to push back (he’s just on a long vacation; he’s busy with work, etc., AKA denial) with as much force as I can muster, until I’m lying in bed alone with my thoughts, trying to hold on to every detail I can about him. The fear of forgetting his voice one day drives me insane.” 

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The Train

This was sent in by Pat, who recently lost her son, Dustin. I think it’s a great perspective. When you are in the deepest pain of your grief, it is hard to see that death is every bit a part of life, as life is. And, they are still living… just beyond our awareness. And one day… we will live with them again. 

The Train

Passenger_TrainAt birth we boarded the train and met our parents, and we believe they will always travel on our side.
However, at some station our parents will step down from the train, leaving us on this journey alone.

As time goes by, other people will board the train; and they will be significant i.e. our siblings, friends, children, and even the love of your life.  Many will step down and leave a permanent vacuum. Others will go so unnoticed that we don’t realize they vacated their seats.
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Hope After Suicide

Wendy shares about a painful time in her life; the time her mother ended her own life. Wendy was only twelve and the oldest of five children.

It was an early morning on April 16, 1975, when Wally found his beloved 31 year-old wife, Linda, dead in a pool of her own blood. He screamed, then closed and locked the bathroom door behind him, trying to hide the scene from their young five children. Frantically pacing the floor, Wally asked his daughter, Wendy, to watch the kids and not to let anyone, under any conditions, open the bathroom door. While in his pajamas, Wally ran quickly to his Bishops house down the street to get help.

Shortly, after Wally and his Bishop returned, Marjean, the Bishop’s wife, swooped up the children to take them safely to her home. Wendy was just twelve years old. She was her mother’s right arm in taking care of her ten year-old brother, Cary, seven year-old sister, Marie, four year-old brother, Drew, and her baby sister, Annie, barely one year old.

Just six months earlier, Linda had suffered cardiac arrest and had been recovering from it ever since. At first, it was easy to infer that their mother died of a heart attack, certainly it was more humane to those who could not understand. But it wasn’t too long before one of the kids, the Police chief’s son, told Wendy what really happened. “She shot herself,” Brad said authoritatively, to which Wendy angrily countered, “No, she had a heart attack!” Then, Wendy went home to find out the painful truth.
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Signaling the End of Grief

In an after-death communication, Christian sends a clear signal that it’s time for me to move on with my life.

It was in the wee hours of the morning, on June 9th, 2013, that a strange noise sounded in my house! Wondering what it could possibly be, it was discovered to be the ringtone on my phone! But… what a horrible sound it was that had replaced the beautiful ringtone that was Christian, playing guitar on one of the songs he had created, and played so well.

Confused by what had happened, I grabbed my phone to change the annoying ringtone back to “Skies”, the peaceful melody that reminded me of Christian, every time my phone rang.

I admit, I felt a little hurt and insulted to think that Christian would just remove his ringtone from my phone, as if to say… “Get on with your life, already!!”

Okay… so it had already been 3 years and 70 days since Christian’s death, but I was still experiencing grief. Not painful grief, at this point, but grief, nonetheless. Since Christian’s death had been such a big deal to me, deep sorrow was something I had expected to feel over the loss of him, until the day I died.

My phone rang again. It was the same annoying ringtone that woke me up, just hours earlier that day. Patiently, I changed it back again. I tested the “Skies” ringtone, but it was nowhere to be found. NOWHERE!!! I wondered why…
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Higher-Self Communication

There are times in our lives when we want or need to talk to a particular person, in order to complete something of importance, BUT, actually doing so… may seem too difficult for us, if even impossible. Reasons for this lack of communication may include:

  • Not knowing the person well enough, so approaching them could be awkward or even embarrassing.
  • We’ve lost contact, with no way of locating them.
  • This person may live too far away, and maybe, even so far away that they are no longer on this planet.
  • The person we want or need to speak to isn’t in a good position to be contacted by us, or… if we did contact them, perhaps they would refuse to speak to us, or hear our message.
  • Or maybe… it is even our own pride that prevents us from speaking with them.

But, it’s possible that this is the most difficult one of all…

  • It could be that the issues between the two are so sticky, that every attempt to sort things through leaves those involved with an attitude of defensiveness and frustration, causing both to walk away while throwing their arms up in the air in sheer resignation!

You may have experienced this before. Completely discouraged by the many attempts to communicate, but to no avail, and now… you’ve finally given up the thought and hope that this issue between the two of you, could ever be rectified.

But… whatever the circumstances are, it ends the same; you are left with the sense of the incompletion that continually hangs over your head, just begging to be resolved and put to rest.

More than likely, what you really wanted or needed to tell this person was something that you never got a chance to say; for example: to give an apology, to ask or accept forgiveness, to straighten something out, to make a request or to give them your love and/or blessings? Or maybe, you just wanted to be heard and were uncertain that you ever were in the past.
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Choosing Love

choosing loveChoosing love doesn’t mean we won’t ever be hurt, disappointed or angry with someone. To ignore our feelings in the face of an upset would be inauthentic, since feelings are a natural part of being human. Choosing love only means that after we have fully acknowledged and experienced our feelings, that we allow the painful emotional energy to move quickly through us. This completion process is what makes healing possible, so we can get back to the business of experiencing our feelings of love again.

Choosing love doesn’t mean we have to share the same beliefs and values as another. It doesn’t mean we have to agree or have the same opinion either. In a world with so much diversity as ours, how could we all see things from exactly the same point of view?
Choosing love only means that we allow another to have his or her perspective, as well.

Choosing love doesn’t mean we have to like the choices people make or actions that they take. Many times we won’t. But, who are we to think someone should live his or her life according to all our expectations anyway? Choosing love only means that we still love them, even if we don’t approve.

Choosing love doesn’t mean you have to forget that someone hurt or violated you or someone you love, although you probably wish you could. Choosing love just means that to heal, forgiveness may be in order… not just for them, but especially for yourself; so you can find peace.
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