When Heaven Comes to Us

In the last nine days of her brother, Joseph’s life, Marijo and her mother experience a preview of the heaven that awaited their loved one.

Marijo writes:
I was very blessed to experience a beautiful shared-death experience with my younger brother in July of 2021.

Just 8 days prior, he made the decision to pass peacefully in a hospice facility. His body had completely been wrecked by his progressive auto-immune disease and a pathogen found in his lungs after a bout of Covid. His physical body was in failure and he was working with a body that could no longer fight.

For nine days, my mother, Toni, and I sat with him. My mother’s worst fear was he would die alone. My fear was she would be alone to watch him pass. As other family came in and out, we left the room for brief periods to eat, rest, shower, and pray.

First Occurrence
As luck would have it, it was a beautiful hospice facility and there was a walking path lined with trees and benches. The benches outside his room became like an old friend. As I was relaxing and reflecting on how my little brother went from very verbal to completely non- responsive, I heard the most beautiful soothing music my human ears had ever heard. I struggle to find the vocabulary to explain the angelic sounds I heard outside Joseph’s room.

The music started off faint but rose up as if it was choir in a marching band, it got louder and louder. It was obvious that the beautiful choral of voices and soft instruments was coming closer and closer. This was the first of three experiences I believe to be shared-death experiences.

The Second Occurrence
The second occurrence happened that same night when my mother and I were both sitting bedside. For two days we watched Joseph experience what the hospice team defined as “the death stare”. However, his most dedicated and very lovey nurse explained, “he is just looking at the angels.” What happened next solidified this point for me.

As we sat quietly, an extremely bright, warm, and pure light projected across his room. My mother and I were speechless. When we were able to converse, we both confirmed the pure light. Once again, human language would not be sufficient to describe the beauty and love that filled his room.

Dragonflies

Dragonfly

The Third Occurrence
On day 9, my last shared-death experience occurred. It was the night when my little brother left this Earth. After his death, I went back to the bench outside. I was needing to be alone for a moment. I sat in peace knowing he was experiencing true beauty. Suddenly I was surrounded by dragonflies. They were everywhere in the dark night.

 

If the other two signs did not confirm his soul was at peace, this last shared experience was unmistakable. The beauty I witnessed through the sounds of the music, the peacefulness of the bright light, and the glory of the dragonflies, constantly fill my heart. I have zero doubts about the magnificence of an afterlife now.

The Power of an Afterlife Perspective
I won’t say my grief was lighten but I will say my perspective was drastically changed. Death is not something I fear after sharing in the beauty of these moments. I can only dream of the experiences now and know they were not of this world. They were supernatural statements of a world much more splendid and amazing than this one.

Commentary- When we are young, we live our whole lives thinking that death is clear out there, far away from us. As we grow, being “old” becomes somewhat relative.

But as we come closer to the end of our lives, whether faced with an illness or old age, many don’t know what to expect as we near the mysterious door that we are told, opens before us.

When one is about to pass, it’s not uncommon for that one who is being gently lifted from this Earthly vibration to begin to experience these heavenly things of which Marijo speaks.

For us on the outside, it can look like something other than it actually is. One might observe their loved one staring off into space, trying to make out something with their eyes as their new home slowly begins to materialize. Sometimes, there is some talking to unseen beings or even exhibiting a careful listening to something from beyond.

What is so different about this case is that Marijo and her mother had the amazing gift of being privy to Joseph’s transition. Although at first, even one of these miraculous experiences would be enough. However, added together they gave Marijo a full understanding of what was occurring, specifically that Joseph, her younger brother, would be in great hands as he left his weary body to cross over.

Marijo and her mother experienced some pieces of Heaven. You know when it happens because you can’t explain it or describe it. As Marijo recalls, they were speechless and even with speech, there were no words to adequately describe their experience.

In the garden, Marijo heard the beautiful music appear to grow louder. This was to gently prepare her for what was soon to come. The light spread across the room was to comfort those therein. Lastly, the dragonflies (a spiritual symbol of an angel) were sent to say, “I made it into the beautiful light and now I’m free to fly.!” Btw, because of predators it is unusual to see dragonflies flying around in the dark unless they absolutely have to. Dragonflies are known to hide from predators at night and fly by day.

For Marijo and her mother, through these shared-death experiences, they don’t have to wonder if Joseph is okay and has made it to his destination in the light. They know he has.

Moving forward
Of course, knowing this, we are happy for our loved ones. Even so, we do still miss them in our physical world. It takes something to walk the path of the grief process. It is winding with ups and downs. We will feel a plethora of emotions as we go forth.

Photo credit: Jill Wellington of Pixabay

Photo credit: Jill Wellington of Pixabay

But as we go forth grieving our loss, please remember that every step forward in this process, is one step closer to reuniting with them again. And, when we do meet again, imagine what joy there will be.

For more shared-death experiences, read here.

“Shedding Light on Trauma”

A Tribute to Beloved Christian, New personal challenges on the horizon and the “Shedding Light on Trauma” modality, all tied together in one post
Our Beloved Christian

It was on March 31, 2010, that Christian suddenly left this plane. When I think back now, I remember the severe pain and trauma created from his death and what it brought up for me.

At one point, the pain was too deep to describe. My grief had no language yet, to express what I had suddenly been bombarded with. This is a thing, for sure. With so much bombardment, the brain gets scrambled in many different directions. These are some very challenging times without the words. But eventually we do find them again.

Using the light of the Sun/Son to heal
Sun shining through the trees

Photo credit: MGLife/Pixabay

In dealing with this trauma back then, I accidentally discovered a healing tool/modality that helped immensely. I call it, “The Shedding of Light.” For those who prefer a trendier name to the modality, I recommend, “Getting Lit.” It just popped into my head just now.

In deep despair, I would go outside and sit with my face toward the direction of the sun. While gently closing my eyes, I would seek the light of God there; the father of my soul. Surely, If anywhere, I would find comfort there.

Well, the modality worked well. In the light, I would come away enlightened, if even for a moment, I experienced a reprieve. I did this often as I spoke to my Heavenly Father seeking guidance, insight, comfort and peace.

One could use this same modality to seek Divinity, Higher Self or just the healing, life-giving rays of the sun shedding its light. Whatever you choose will work because all light shows us the way in the darkness.

New Developments

It’s just over a month from Christian’s 12 year anniversary now. There have been some new big developments on the horizon. On his life celebration anniversary, I had just been released from the hospital after having had major surgery for Ovarian Cancer. Although, my official story is that I was attacked by a Grizzly bear and won. I crawled off to live another day and tell my tale. I’m not going to say it was easy, however, I was victorious!

I have the mutated BRCA gene which puts me in a high risk category. The serous cancer is a fast and aggressive moving cancer that was running rampant in my body. I inherited this gene from my mother who died of breast cancer at age 44. I was but a child, so I admit that I do have some old baggage with watching her go through all this, and watching her die anyway. So, I have the opportunity to work through this.

Even though I am diagnosed in the beginning of Stage 3, I am fortunate that I even caught this in the first place. It’s a wonder that I even had a single sign to warn me as many do not find out until it’s too late. I am grateful for my body that has always seemed to tell me when something is not right so I can address it. It’s important to tune in and listen to your body. It is the sacred vessel that carries you through life.

The Stages

To get a thorough examination, I was cut open for a good look. They found additional areas of cancer outside of the ovaries/fallopian tubes. Small spots on the pelvis and abdomen were also detected and removed. That is considered 3 different areas or stages of spread. Over the past 5 weeks I have healed well. The body is amazingly resilient.

Systemic Therapy/Systemic Spa Day. Yay!

Today, May 2nd, I have begun Chemotherapy to kill any remaining microscopic cancer cells. Here at the Huntsman Cancer Institute, they are beginning to call this a more transformed name, Systemic Therapy. I have re-labeled my upcoming treatments as my Systemic Spa Day and I hold the IV bags to my body to prepare them and then bless them before they enter my bloodstream.

I’m hoping I’m not being too unrealistic and that the systemic spa part of it holds true throughout this process. Nevertheless, I am calm and peaceful about my choice to do this. It will save my life as without it, my chances of getting cancer again are 100%.

Remembering the Healing Light

On Christian’s life celebration day and while I was freshly home from the hospital, in a weakened state, with eyes closed, the sun shone upon me at that very moment. I instantly remembered the power that, “The Shedding of Light” had on a previously bereaved me. How that light supported and sustained me in my earthly challenges. I actually rediscovered it and realized once again how this simple modality really does work so well. So I used it and immediately felt relief. I will continue to use this in my journey now. I hope you adopt this as well.

My Point

Besides honoring Christian’s life celebration and letting you know about what I’m up to these days, there is something I want to express to you in this post. Through any challenge you may face, as you walk your particular path in life, remember the light that outshines the darkness.  Let it gloriously shine upon you in which ever way you choose. Let it shed its healing, loving and nurturing rays upon you.

While I also am a Hypnotherapist and use the helpful imagination of light penetrating the body and space around a person all the time, I love using the actual brightness and warmth of the sun to achieve this bliss, if even momentarily. I escape the human struggle for a while. It’s great to be in the light’s presence.

I use “The Shedding of the Light” as communion with God. Closed eyes are absolutely for protection from the actual burning-star sun, but also represents a holy and sacred moment with the Divine. Please don’t look at the sun. Thank you.

The Road Ahead…

I’ve got a long road ahead of me. Six treatments every 3 weeks followed by 2 years of immunotherapy. However, I know that this is a part of my path in life and the lessons I can learn, the compassion I can expand in myself for me and others. I think about all the ways I can use this experience to grow and develop in this school of life.

Christian’s Light

I also know that graduating from this school early was Christian’s path. I was told this several times but it didn’t make sense then. I once thought that a huge light was taken from the earth when he left. But now, more than ever, I know that his beautiful light is shining down too, guiding the way through the darkness. Thank you for this, Christian. He would do nothing less for the people on this planet.

Facing challenges on your path? Who are you going to be in the matter?

No matter whatever challenges befall you on your path in life, please know that it is these most fearful experiences, such as, grief, trauma and pain that have the best possibility of bringing the most growth. All challenges like these build courage and greatness. That is… if we bravely and powerfully step into them and do not run away .

Again, these teaching moments are designed to overcome fear and to show you who you are… and even extend the possibility of becoming your new level of greatness. Through these challenges, are you going to be your weakest self (Victim), or your strongest self (Victor)?

I see it as a marker for how far one has come and reveals what is left to transform. Transforming these challenges is where the treasure is. This path leads to achieving personal growth by stretching oneself and a more fulfilling and consistent path of peacefulness and faith.

In the end…

Although you may go through trauma, in the face of it, you get to choose in each moment who you want to be. Sometimes you will forget, and then you will remember again. It’s all about who you are going to be in the matter. Life confronts us with challenges. We must use them for good. To grow, develop and overcome. This is life’s process.

I always see myself as a flower growing toward the sun. Ever-growing, for the sun is my source and provides me with energy. When I don’t feel well, whether in brain, body or spirit, I know I need to go to the source of light. It just works. And sometimes part of our path is to actually go to the light, the ultimate source.

In the end, I have learned from my own spiritual experiences as well as others, that whatever happens, as an infinite soul, we can never really die. In that, I have peace and assurance.

Woman healing by the rays of the sun

Photo credit: Jill Wellington/Pixabay

A Spiritual Intervention

In a near-death experience, an impending death is interrupted when Ryan’s deceased Grandpa comes in an after-death communication, for the ultimate intervention.

Ryan’s experience

Since the age of 13, Ryan had used some sort of drug or another. He used them for fun or as an escape. By the time he was 33 years old, he had been through drug rehab five times. However, right before having one of the most life-altering experiences one could ever have, Ryan was into one of the most addictive drugs, Heroin.

Ryan lived with his girlfriend and their two small children in his mother’s house. One day, when Ryan’s girlfriend and children were gone visiting relatives and his mom was out of town, Ryan had a profound experience.

Having been overworked, stressed and overwhelmed by life at the time, Ryan felt the need to escape for a while. Without fear of getting caught, the opportunity was there. The moment was right and he was going to seize it… just one more time.

Craving the sense of relief that only heroin could provide at the time, after doing some gaming, Ryan shot up and zoned out.

As Ryan entered this expected world of bliss, Ryan was met by his Grandpa… his mother’s father. He was a good man who Ryan, as a child, loved and admired. He was a positive influence and an active part of Ryan’s young life. Then, when Ryan was 8 years old, Grandpa passed away, leaving Ryan to miss him dearly.

In their spiritual reunion together, Grandpa talked to Ryan about many things. Things that he still can’t recall to this day, but knows are embedded in his psyche. But what Ryan could remember… is the message of how important it was for him to stay alive in this realm. Grandpa told him that his family needed him and depended on him to get this right. Ryan was told that his time on Earth was not yet finished and that he still had important things to do before he could come back to his heavenly home.

When Ryan returned from his visit with his Grandpa, he was struggling to breathe as he was gasping for air. Ryan says this is the way many heroin users die. They just stop breathing and never wake up in this life again.

What Ryan’s story tells me is that Ryan was going to be one of those people who never woke up. He would have been found by his family and their pain would have been devastating. Their lives would have never been the same.

Grandpa intervened as Ryan was playing with fire and may not have realized the grave danger he was in. This was a wake up call for Ryan. In this intervention, Ryan learned that he was needed in the world, that he had a purpose to fulfill. It was not yet time to drift off into the great slumber that leads us away from this realm and into the next.

With Grandpa’s intervention and basically, having been startled and shaken back to life, Ryan would go through his drug detox over the next week. His family would feel some mix of betrayal, anger, gratitude, love and concern for Ryan. However, as Ryan made it through one week of pure hell, as he would call it, things would begin to shift in his life.

Somewhere between Ryan’s escape, the intervention with Grandpa, then back to his loved ones, something profound occurred. Whatever was said in that pivotal conversation with his Grandpa was profoundly life-altering. Ryan, an already good soul, was converted furthermore into the man he would become along the path of his spiritual progression.

Almost 4 years later, Ryan shares with me his story. His life has been transformed immensely. Remarkably, he no longer has the urge to use. His family is everything to him. I used the word “converted” to describe his progress, which means a change in function, because he has successfully re-routed his direction. Ryan says he now sees his world in color and meaning, where before it was not so sharp and bright, just dull. This is common for near-death experiencers, as life for them often takes on a new dimension as a new sense of purpose is realized.

Something happened in Ryan’s soul that day. Was he shown his full life? Did Grandpa reveal to Ryan his ultimate purpose? Whatever it was, Ryan remembered something important enough to get back on track with his life. Perhaps getting off track was even a part of his track too. Whatever it was, it made the difference between Ryan being here or not, as he was quickly on his way out on that day, it was just a matter of one breath.

Although you could say that Ryan had an after-death communication, you could say it was a near-death experience as well. One day, probably in this lifetime, Ryan may begin to remember even more parts of his Grandpa’s message. He says he gets bits and pieces even now. Often, the information given is so much that it is revealed on a need to know basis. When it is the right time, Ryan will comprehend more of the content, its meaning and get a fuller picture.

A heavenly intervention is an approach designed by heavenly beings to change someone’s mind or trajectory. It can influence will through necessary information or cause one to remember something that they have long since forgotten, something that would make a big difference for them if they were to act. In other words, encouraging and inspiring someone’s will to make a choice that gets them back on track. In this case, it was not Ryan’s time to go. Nevertheless, he might have died had he not used his will to choose to live. Grandpa’s job was to influence and be persuasive. Ryan’s job was to chose his life through sheer will, and bring himself back. We are glad that he did.

What Ryan experienced that day was a miracle on so many levels. Here are just a few.

  • Ryan’s saw his Grandpa again
  • He received his message and was likely shown his life and purpose
  • Ryan’s life was saved when all was lost
  • Something in Ryan was so altered that he never looked back
  • Ryan knows for a fact now that there is more than just this life

What Ryan can be sure of is this- His Grandpa’s intervention showed him that he is in great hands with his Grandpa’s love shining upon him. Although out of sight, even for many years, Ryan can still be sure that his Grandpa watches out for him with great care.

Heaven- Gerd Altmann / Pixabay

Heaven- Gerd Altmann / Pixabay

 

The Beauty of a Spiritual Practice

One morning while Jennifer meditates, she is privy to an extraordinary event- her brother’s release from this world and his transition to the next

Jennifer writes:
“On the morning March 31st, I had returned to my bed to meditate quietly as my husband had not yet awakened. I was in a quiet place with my thoughts subsiding and a beautiful indigo blue vision appeared in front of me. Awake but with closed eyes I was overwhelmed with deep calm peacefulness, joy and bliss.”

“The vision was like a balloon inflating and deflating …very deep dark edges and lighter fading into a centre of almost white. It was a light dimming and glowing before me. I felt if I reached my hand out I would feel it but did not want it to go away so I enjoyed the bliss while it lasted, which felt like 2-4 minutes.”

“I got up feeling incredible. I was still in a pure state of joy, I sat with my iPad researching such things as archangel Michael, the throat chakra, blue visions and I was convinced from the feelings of comfort and peace I had felt a blessing of sorts.”

“I sat talking to my husband of the wonderful peacefulness that I felt. As we were talking, my MSN chimed and on my brother’s message his wife asked if I could call her. I rang her. She said my brother had gone. Confused, I asked, “Where has he gone?” Tearfully, she explained that she had found him. He had died by suicide that morning.”

“Of course, grief struck me immediately but after some tears had subsided I came to the realization that my vision had occurred during my brother’s transition. I naturally felt he had peace and comfort after the turmoil that had been facing him here in this world. I felt an enormous comfort from this.”

“The deep blue seemed so significant to me that I put a blue bottle out on a ledge near my kitchen window. That evening I was listening to music, reflecting on our lives and remembering my brother with his big beautiful smile. My house was all closed up bar one door to the entry courtyard area. I had a dim lamp so the room was quite dark.”

“Outside, it was night and there wasn’t much moonlight so it was very dark. Just then, a bird flew into the room. It landed on the blue bottle I had out for my brother. I was thrilled, overjoyed, in fact, then it found it’s way back out through the courtyard. My husband saw it leave. I was sad it had gone but not even two minutes later, this bird returned and sat looking at me. I felt so calm after a couple of minutes, I picked it up, opened my kitchen window and set it free. This bird did not fly away but perched itself just beyond the window on a chain that hung to the window sill.”

“As I closed the window, it flew away. There was so much peace in my heart, I felt my brother near me again. We used to rehabilitate birds. It was our thing.”

“I went to bed in comfort, knowing he was in a good place. Over the next few days I received many signs. One morning I was lucid dreaming and could hear my phone buzzing but in my dream, I looked at the screen and there were constellations, black and white, of course, as that’s how the sky looks at night. When I woke up I had 3 messages on my phone. My daughter-in-law had sent pictures of my brother at her wedding to my son. The pictures were in black and white which is quite unusual these days and the wedding was last year. Most of the pictures taken were in color.”

“On a site I always look up for my morning quote, it read, “I took the road less travelled” by Robert Frost. This made perfect sense to me. A little while later, I was listening to a talk by a fellow I listen to who had the same Christian name as my brother, Neville, and of all the random talks I happened to pick, within the first few minutes of a 40 minute talk, he spoke of Robert Frost. Everything was connecting!

Neville’s birth year

Then, of all things, my husband got dressed and on his shirt was a Roman numeral, MCMLX5. This was the year my brother was born.”

 

 

“Everything, all these signs and synchronicities have given me courage, strength, faith and reassurance. Lots of evidence that God is always in/with us, eternally. Things keep happening and I am so comforted. Blessings to everyone and love to all.”

“I live In Australia. I looked to see which bird breed it was. It was a Graceful Honeyeater.”

Commentary- When Jennifer heard the tragic news about her dear brother, Neville, she already had a deeply spiritual foundation in place through her practice of meditation. Without it, she may have missed this amazing experience as well as the spiritual understanding of what it all meant. Grieving would have been much more painful and difficult without her spiritually grounded foundation.

What Jennifer experienced is also called a “Shared Death Experience” where, like her brother, Neville, she was privy to the actual moment of his release from this world and his transition to the next. The beautiful thing about this is that Jennifer was a witness to Neville’s sudden peacefulness. She can be comforted that he safely made it back home to all that is love and understanding.

chakras

chakras Kirtlane/Pixabay

The Indigo color that Jennifer experienced is the color of the spiritual third eye chakra. This is the seat of intuition and spiritual sight/vision according to yoga traditions. It is characterized by a deep blue with deep purple mixed in, so the color is very rich. The third eye chakra is just below the crown chakra which is a vibrant violet. This Chakra is considered to be the highest chakra and access to the Divine and Universal consciousness.

So, it makes sense why Jennifer was easily able to witness this, as she was already in sync with its vibrational frequency. It would appear that Neville was reaching out from a spiritual context and in her peaceful meditation she was there at the perfect moment and state of mind to receive his communication to her, as well as his communion with God.

The spiritual signs and synchronicities that Jennifer received are very obvious. Recognizing that the blue she saw was significant, she left a blue bottle on the ledge. This indicated that she got Neville’s spiritual communication on a spiritual level. When he flew in her home as a bird to land on the blue bottle, he verified that this profound experience was real. This was no coincidence. But please tell me. How many birds do you see flying at night, no less inside your home to land on the very thing you put out for them to land on?

But, just ignoring that, how often will a bird in the wild allow you to pick it up to hold for a bit before sending it on its way? And then it flies in once more? What are the odds? There is no doubt that this was Neville celebrating his flight of release with his sister who, having worked with wounded animals, would understand this so well.

Lastly, it would seem that Neville had chosen to be a bird for a bit. Perhaps this was because he and his sister spent time rehabilitating birds when they were younger. This would allow Jennifer, if she had any doubt whatsoever, to know for certain Neville was communicating that he is good, happy and free from the wounds that plagued him in his life. And, although he dearly loved those he left behind, he felt his wounds were far too great to be mended and had to fly to the world beyond. His sign to Jennifer said it all. This bird had now been rehabilitated.

Even though, to our physical senses, we may think of our departed loved ones as gone, from a higher perspective, they are always here with us, guiding and loving us from beyond. This is why a deep spiritual foundation is so helpful. With it, we are more sensitive to our spiritual side and journey. We are more calm and peaceful in general.

But, when a tragedy strikes, we have a greater understanding, and even knowledge that this life is just a pit stop in the whole scheme of things. That maybe, there is a larger chain of events to look at- a much larger perspective that we don’t always understand in the moment. Until we do. And often, it is trust and faith that does the heavy lifting. But like the physical eyes from which we see, trust and faith become our spiritual eyes when all seems so dim. 

Path: Ben Kerckx/Pixabay

Path: Ben Kerckx/Pixabay

What I know is that our departed loved ones are still with and very much aware of us. That’s what love would do. And often, in their pure spiritual form it is far easier for them to help us with our worldly needs, as well as the spiritual things that really matter in the end, as we travel the path that we are meant to take. All paths lead to our spiritual blossoming and evolution as we grow ever closer to the source of our existence.

May you always have comfort, peace and joy on that journey.

A Poem written by Jennifer to her beloved brother, Neville.

My brother was small in stature but his heart was as big as the sky,
We so wanted him to stay here.. but ours is not to question Why?
Our hearts felt so torn that day ..we didn’t get to say goodbye
As he freed himself from this world and finally, found a way to fly.

We still feel his gentle spirit …. yet his soul has found embrace.
May he always be at peace as he moves on to a brighter place.
We may not understand, as our tears are overflowing …
Yet none of us could realize just how much his pain was growing.

When we were young together, we found beauty in simple things
,
Rescuing birds, insects, tiny bats, trying to repair their broken wings.
Sometimes we would see that their journey here had ended,
 and that, Not everything you SEE or HOLD can easily be mended.
As we laid those fragile creatures down, we hugged each other tight,
 and although their lives were cut short, we knew everything was alright.

I imagine that there is a Heaven, maybe you mend the Angel’s wings?
I can see you there, you’ve grown your hair,
there is beauty in such things.
……

Shortly after you departed …a bird flew into my room ,
It sat with me for a moment, it seemed to take away my gloom ..
It flew outside again so I thought that it had gone ,
but it returned a moment later which gave me strength to carry on .

I understood at that moment that even though you’d left our lives,
you’ll remain in our hearts forever ….it helped me to realize ..
The people who we love ……they really Never go away.
They just slip inside our hearts and help us ,each and every day.

When I think of you …THE OCEAN ,THE SKY ,they always come to mind,
The peace they gave …as you were engulfed in BLUE
Was where you could leave your worries behind.
In my dreams I watch you sail away …..and I see you soaring free,
throughout the skies and up to the stars as you leave that wondrous sea.

Now at this moment as we are those …that are all engulfed in blue,
we can picture your kite sailing freely, Soaring ….as you were meant to do.
So, as the pain arises and tears flow SALTY from our eyes,
We can smile and remember you flying freely… with your heart as big as the SKY.

Forever in our hearts, Jenni

Death From a Scientific Perspective

An interesting scientific article, about the death of a loved one, offers a surprisingly encouraging and comforting perspective about afterlife existence.

Several years ago while grieving the loss of her husband, Jason, Lynda stumbled upon this NPR interview. She found it extremely comforting in a very fundamental way. Recently, Lynda shared this article with me. I found it so clear and amazing that I wanted to share it forward to those it might help to show that, in some ways, science and faith can interface in the best of ways. Hopefully, this interview will somehow assist in the comfort and healing of your loss.

Source:  NPR All Things Considered- 2015.
Host, Michele Norris and Guest, Commentator- Aaron Freeman, have the following conversation.

MICHELE NORRIS, host: Introduction of her guest:
“Commentator Aaron Freeman isn’t a person who does much planning ahead. However, if you like to look ahead to the future, he has some advice for you, advice on planning your funeral.”
AARON FREEMAN, guest:
“You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.”

“And at one point you’d hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.”

“And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives.”

“And you’ll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they’ll be comforted to know your energy’s still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you’re just less orderly. Amen.”

Commentary- When I think of science in general, I think of sterile environments, serious people in white lab coats and protective gloves and eyewear. When I think of physics, I think of mathematical formulas and the mechanics of matter and energy and remember that I was never great at math. Having lumped my sciences together, I imagined laboratory/clinical testing that is rather cold and impersonal. The process of hypothesis, evidence gathering, testing, measuring and observing, in an effort of proving a scientific theory, seemed stark and unfriendly to me. 

So for me, having personally experienced before, how very deep and devastating the grief of losing a loved one goes, I found this article’s perspective to be interesting and unusually reassuring in every way possible. I also found myself realizing that, on some level, my version of hard cold science and warm and fuzzy faith could possibly be describing some of the same things, just from different perspectives. Or… at the very least, they, in each of their viewpoints, form a simple foundation for science and faith to share in exploring existential questions of life, death and afterlife. The subject of matter and energy? Definitely more interesting to me now.

When confronted with a death of a loved one. By far, the deepest concern, even among people of faith, is whether their departed loved one still exist after their death. I mean, it’s natural that this question would begin to creep in. It’s a different world now. To go from being accustomed to experiencing our loved one with our usual physical senses for so long in the physical realm and then, suddenly, they are gone- no more to be seen, heard, felt or experienced in that same way is jarring. Without an after-death sign anywhere is sight, this might make one wonder about things that were previously just accepted and taken for granted.

It’s mind boggling to suddenly be forced to experience a departed loved one in a much different way, such as a spirit or an energy field… the subtle form of who they once were. In those who are abruptly thrust into facing such an existential crisis as a death, the survivors are forced into finding a deeper understanding and meaning for themselves. Of course, there are always some painfully nagging questions I  am asked about. Here are some of them-

  • I know what I’ve been taught, but does my loved one still exist? Really?
  • Is my departed loved one around me now?
  • Does my departed loved one remember me now? Care for me? Love me still? Am I important enough to be remembered?
  • Does my departed loved one know how I feel and what I’m thinking? I wish they knew. I wish I could tell them.
  • Can/will my departed loved one visit me at times or send signs for me?
  • Will my departed loved one guide my path and protect me throughout the days of my life?
  • Is my departed loved one happy and free?
  • Does my departed loved one want me to be happy and free?
  • Can my grief ever be healed? Will I ever smile again?
  • Will my departed loved one be there when I need them the most?

By the way, for anyone who might wonder about some of these same questions as well, my knowledge and experience informs me that the answer to all of these questions is yes, Absolutely.

So, where can science and faith possibly meet? Energy is the foundation we can build upon.

“The first law of thermodynamics, also known as Law of Conservation of Energy, states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed; energy can only be transferred or changed from one form to another. … In other words, energy cannot be created or destroyed.” What this means is that everything has always existed and can never not exist. It’s just that it can existed in one form or another.

The end is not really the end. There is no end. Even science, The Law of Conservation of Energy agrees. Not one bit of you (the foundational part of you) is gone. Like water, ice and condensation is the same just a different consistency, the form is another form now. Physical is now subtle energy. And, at some point, that can change form, too.

We are still together. Although we can’t explain exactly what that looks like, because we can’t comprehend that far outside of what our brains can think, we are made from the same energy fabric, always and forever. How could we not be together- always and forever? 

“You need not have faith; indeed, you should not have faith.” Because science knows what we’ve previously just had faith about. “They can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they’ll be comforted to know your energy’s still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you’re just less orderly. Amen.”

In other words, a departed loved one may not have a physical body at this time, but it doesn’t mean they no longer exist. They are just subtle energy now. It’s all energy though. We are all nothing but energy. We are one, together, always and forever.

They are a part of you, too. Even now, you influence them and they influence you. Energetically, they might even visit or give you a sign of their continued existence. They are still here, warming the way for us, through us and being our light as we wade through a chaotic world. Yet, with all these possibilities, many times, the saddest part of us falls prey to the belief that our departed loved one is far from us. Out there. Over there, somewhere… as if there were such a thing. What if they are over here, with us, within us, always and forever. What if that was not just a belief but an absolute knowing, instead? Without a sure knowledge, why would we choose to have the sad belief over the comforting one?

The author writes about what to tell the grieving widow, “All the photons that bounced from you (deceased husband) were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.”

There is a lasting impression left on each of us, by us. In the physical realm, and in an energetic way, we recognize and bear witness of one another and our experiences, always to be remembered. And even… until the point at which we may be re-membered to each other- in another form. How exciting it is that we have the possibility of being together, forever with our beloved ones while we experience them in different ways.

A Physicist many not say it like this, like a person of faith would, that the distillation of a departed person’s energy is also known as spirit, and some might, but to me, what both are saying is basically the same thing. One is stated from more of a clinical and impersonal perspective, while the other explanation of faith may occur as a more warm, fuzzy, personally meaningful way. What if both ways of discovery were legitimate? And not, one perspective is valid and the other is not.

spirit: photo credit pixabay

spirit photo credit: pixabay

If we still exist in some form or another aspect of that form, what else are we without a physical shell, if we are not spirit energy? I never realized that science could be so reassuring when it came to death and an afterlife. But in allowing the perspectives of science and faith to interface, I take it as further evidence of what I’ve always known spirituality to be. Both perspectives working together can give us reassurance, comfort and hope. In the end, we never die. All is well.

energy photo credit: pixabay

energy photo credit: pixabay

 

“Other Worldly” Experiences

“Other Worldly” experiences include spiritual manifestations such as Out of Body, Shared-death and Near-death experiences. Here is an awesome one from Terry.

Terry

Terry

Kim writes:
“It’s been 26 years since my mother passed away. On the night of her passing, Terry witnessed an incredible event. My husband and I were asleep in bed and Terry sat up like a BOLT and told me of his experience. He had just been flying at an incredible speed (he felt warm and no pain from his Rheumatoid Arthritis) down a hallway with doors on either side.”

“He came to a door that was open and saw my Mother laying in bed. He said she looked younger. She had a blanket made of a material that he couldn’t describe, it was sort of glowing and sparkly, like the opal gem. He got the impression that they were preparing her for something. He said she (nor he) never actually spoke but he understood from her that she was saying, “Everything is fine, everything is fine.”

“Terry said he was angry (I think because he knew how sad I was that she had died) and that he SLAMMED his hand down on a table near her bed, which held more of that fabric that was covering her up to her neck. Suddenly, he found himself flying down that same hallway again and was SLAMMED back into our bed.”

“Terry said he saw me laying there, sleeping. So obviously, he had an out of body experience. His hand actually HURT from slamming it on that table! This was after he was back with me, the hand still hurt!  I was crying and asked why my Mother didn’t come to me like that, he said he thought that maybe she thought it would upset or scare me, so she sent the message to me, through Terry.”

“My point in telling you this is, since he had the experience with my Mom, he said he had no fear about dying, because, from his heavenly experience, he knew it was a good place to go.”

Commentary- As I read this simple yet amazing “other world” experience, I found such eye-opening, clear cut clues embedded in this account that I was excited to interpret them. These experiences are so familiar to me, so I will begin to shed some light. 

Terry described his mode of transportation as flying… at an incredible speed no less. Obviously, he was in his spirit form which was not constrained by the weight of the physical body, nor was he operating by the same laws of the physical plane. He had greater freedom of motion, even to the point of being free from his pain. A clear sign he was out of body.

On his flight, Terry flew passed many doors to the one that was open. The open door represented an invitation for him to come in. In other words, what or who he would find in there would be relevant to him in some way. The other closed doors were not his business. What comes to my mind is some sort of hospital for spirits who have recently left their bodies. Perhaps they needed extra care during their transition process.

Through the open door, Terry saw Kim’s mother who had long since passed away. She looked younger. Looking younger is a common description noted when a deceased loved one has been seen by those still in this plane of existence. Many times older people’s spirits will choose to look the way they did in the prime of their lives. There are few exceptions that I’m aware of.

Kim’s mother was resting from/for something with this mysterious blanket over her while lying on a bed. This curious blanket was made of indescribable material, meaning, “other worldly.” It was glowing and sparkly, like an opal gem. But what was its purpose? “To prepare” Terry thought. To prepare means to make ready or make someone able to deal with something. This miraculous “other world” blanket is about healing in some way. Like the hospitals in the physical realm, there are many therapies used on us to prepare/get us ready, to transition us back into our world after we have had some sort of crisis. Perhaps she was being prepared to go into a dramatically different and new plane of existence.

In my profound past life regression by Dr. Weiss, turned instead, end-of-this-life experience, The End Is Only The Beginning, I too witnessed an interesting hospital experience. I was being healed and watched over by heavenly beings on a glowing, opal like or crystalline bed, while my consciousness went through the process of coming to. In my experience, my body had already died but my consciousness had not yet realized it. This is common among people who die in their sleep or die so abruptly that they are not even aware of their death.

 Terry and Kim’s mom spoke telepathically– the language medium used on the “other side.” She indicated through her thoughts that she was in good hands and that she was not only fine, but had made it to safety. Her message in a nutshell, “There is no need to worry about me. I am good. I am still alive.”

When Terry slammed his fist on the table next to his mother-in-law’s bed, he might have thought he was in a dream. The fact that Terry’s fist still hurt when he landed back in bed is evidence to him that his experience was real. There was no doubt, with a still painful fist. And now that he was back in the physical realm where pain can be felt, you bet it hurt.

Another classic Out Of Body Experience sign is that, upon his return, Terry saw Kim sound asleep in their bed. Terry was so aware that when he landed in his body, he bounced right back up to recall his experience and give Kim’s mother’s message in living color.

People, like Terry, who have such a real and profound experience of visiting the “other side” realize that, although they don’t understand everything that happens and why, there is nothing after our death to be afraid of. We are just born into a new understanding of existence, where we are young, happy, pain-free to live on from there.

The last thing I want to add is this- it is common to feel bad when someone else gets an experience/message that you think you should have gotten. It hurts and only adds to the insecurity that arises after the death of a loved one. If this should happen to any of you reading this, please consider there was a message given on your behalf- even if it didn’t come through you. In this case, Terry happened to be the access for this message. And… thank goodness! There was a lot of information given in his “other worldly” visit and a very important message for Kim in there.

In the next post, I will use another example in regard to Terry, to show why some people may be more susceptible to being an access point for spiritual experiences rather than others.

Sadly, Terry passed away in May of 2020. Because of this experience, he had some amount of comfort because he knew that this life isn’t the end of life or our relationships. Huge hugs to Kim for sharing this and much love and comfort on her healing path.

Other Worldly

Other Worldly

Stress and the Grief Process

Understanding how stress plays a sizable part in the Grief Process and ways to decrease it to make grieving easier.

At one time or another, we’ve all experienced periods of intense stress in our lives. Some of these stressors might include: food, housing and job insecurity, political unrest, family issues, enduring abusive relationships, trouble with or losing a relationship, being in poor health or losing a loved one through death.

Unlike short bouts of stress involving just one or two stressors, trying to survive a world pandemic is a huge sustained stressor that includes many of these factors at the same time. Think of the ramifications of all this. There is nothing greater than trying to survive so much of this at once. Although it doesn’t make it any easier, the insane amount of stress you may be feeling is being felt by many, worldwide.

Who knows when it will end? How many more will this pandemic claim to itself? When will the consequences of it play out? Will we find our way through this in one piece? So many questions up in the air with so few answers. So much doubt and fear. So many feelings of helplessness. So many subtle, and even outright threats of violence, too. You can feel the deep rumble of fear and uncertainty. With emotions high, it can feel like we are living in a powder keg on the verge of a spark. We are really living through something quite extraordinary… and something so very serious.

Our lives have been changed forevermore. With all this rapid change coming at us, with so much loss, many of us will need to work our way through some version of a grief process – just to get to the other side of this darkness. We may already feel the tremendous weight of this now, if not later. The intense stress we may experience, added to our loss, has the capacity to make things even worse. You see, grief and stress have a lot in common.

Just a reminder that the grief process has several identifiable steps, depending on which version you read. To make it easy, I will go with the most tried and true steps. They don’t always go in order and some of them are more prominent than others.

  • shock, denial and disbelief
  • bargaining, feelings of helplessness
  • sadness and/or anxiousness
  • anger and/or rage
  • coming to terms with what’s so
  • acceptance

If you find yourself in the Grief Process, you might be experiencing one or more of these steps. That’s perfectly normal. How long it takes to heal, depends on how long it takes to get through the steps of the process, without trying to resist going through them. There is no set time frame. Every person is different. But, almost every one of these steps in the grief process, except the last two, happens to come along with a great amount of stress. Hence, it is possible to add even more stress on top of the already existing stress that naturally comes with grieving a loss, or several of them at the same time. Not surprisingly, feeling these human emotions can be extremely stressful. It’s no wonder at all why people try to deny feeling them in the first place. But… the only way out is through. So, a word to the wise… go through with as little resistance as possible.

Just remember a few simple things that everyone already knows, but forgets to use, especially when stressed.

  • Be kind to yourself and others. In times of crisis, it is common to see people either being their weakest self or their greatest self. The power comes with choosing which one you will be in any moment. Here’s a hint. Being your greatest self is more empowering and really makes a big difference in the world around you.
  • Remember to breathe. You hear it all the time as some sort of cliche, but breathing really does regulate stress levels and is such an easy thing to do. Do it by breathing deeply and it will relax your brain and body. It will give some temporary relief… at least until the next time you breathe deeply.
  • Look for ways to empower yourself. When it seems that things are going the wrong way, the human default is likely to feel victimized. However, no matter how bad it may be, feelings of helplessness and hopelessness are of no help. Instead of being on the defensive because something is happening to you, realize that it is happening to many of us. Be on the offensive and take control, wherever you can find ways to be helpful and move hope forward. It may be small, but you will not stay frozen and numb as you will be in motion.
  • Move your body. Take a walk, run or bike ride. Exercising your body is a great stress and anxiety reliever. Walk in place if you can’t go outside.
  • Feed your spirit. Meditate, pray or listen to/watch whatever will relax your brain and body. Make it something that will nurture, recharge and feed your spirit.
  • Practice gratitude. Appreciating what you do have is so much more powerful than focusing on what is missing. Experiencing the “glass half full” rather than the “glass half empty” is always more empowering.
  • Surrender to the process. The grief process is an amazing healing process that, if not resisted, has the ability to completely cleanse and mend. It is our brain’s natural process to follow so our brains can heal from the trauma and turmoil that has been inflicted. Not surrendering to what is in our best interest, which is our healing, creates even more stress than the stress that already exists. Surrendering to “what is” – IS NOT weak, it is smart, as we will get through our pain, way quicker, and… will heal much deeper.

In this world, there is no way to get around stressful situations, or the grief that contributes to them, as this is just a part of our human experience. As you go through your grief process, remember that – although painful, each of the steps can be very therapeutic, as going through many of these steps is so necessary for us to heal and be refreshed.

And remember, many people fall into a “stress trap.” If you didn’t get it the first time, a “stress trap” is when you keep adding stress on top of already existing stress. The simple exercises above can help greatly. You just have to do them.

There will be plenty of grief in the times ahead of us. We will not soon forget the pain and stress this pandemic has caused, but let’s do whatever we can to hold on, and however we can, get each other through this truly extraordinary challenging time. Hopefully, before to long, we will find ourselves out of this darkness and into the light of a new day.

Understanding Shared-Death Phenomena

Experiencing a spiritual phenomenon is amazing but can occur as jarring, as it calls the true nature of reality into question. Trust your spiritual senses.

Jay writes:
“It was January 1985. My mother, Ethel, was feeling very weak. She visited her doctor who said her heartbeat had become irregular and that she should be admitted to Maimonides Hospital in Brooklyn, New York, ASAP.”

“At the hospital, the doctor said that she needed a pacemaker. After receiving the pacemaker, she seemed well. They said they wanted to monitor her for a day or two before releasing her.”

“However, the second night she was in the hospital, I received a call from one of the doctors at about 3 AM, saying she had had a difficult night and was not doing well. They recommended that I come to the hospital immediately.”

“When I got to her room, one of the doctors said they almost lost her earlier but she was doing better. I went to her bedside. She was on a ventilator and seemed in distress. Because she was on a ventilator, she could not speak to me. She was in and out of consciousness but clearly upset when awake.”

“An alarm went off and the doctor and a nurse went to my mother’s bedside and began giving her CPR. As they worked on her, classical music played in the background. I do not recall a radio being in the room, but I recall thinking that the doctor must have put that music on to keep him relaxed while he was giving CPR.”

“As I stood there watching the scene of the doctor and nurse giving CPR to my mother, I saw a shadow slowly rise up from my mother’s body; a shadow that was clearly her. In the shadow, she was still in a hospital gown. Her face and body were quite clear. She appeared to look down at the scene of the doctor and nurse working on her body and me standing nearby. On her face, she had an expression of total shock and confusion, as if she was trying to understand what was happening.”

“After a while, the shadow seemed to return to her body. I assumed the doctor and nurse saw her image rise up as well, and would explain this phenomenon to me when they finished giving CPR.  However, they never said a word about it. If they did see it, they didn’t say, and I never asked about it. My mother died a few hours later.”

“I have been haunted by this experience my entire life. Was it my imagination?  What happened that night? What I witnessed seemed quite clear to me at the time. I was quite awake. It seemed more than real.”

“I think about this experience often, even to this day. I often search to see if others have had similar experiences. It is only because of the internet that I have learned about the concept of Shared Death Experiences. I believe that this experience was an SDE. I have never had another experience like this.”

Commentary- Shared-death experiences are not as well known as after-death communications, but they are happening with increasing frequency as this spiritual reality begins to permeate everyday consciousness. That is, in general, when we know a possibility exists, we are more open and available to experiencing it for ourselves. 

Although in Jay’s case, he was completely caught off guard as his brain struggled to make sense of the inexplicable at the time. Our brains take in a lot of information in each moment. Much of this information focuses on an estimation of navigating and surviving our environment in all areas of life, in the best way possible. It’s not that we are always conscious of this, but if you purposely tune into to even a small area of your life, you can see that your brain has some sort of a plan to succeed at its intended goals. 

A simple example of this would be to do something or be a certain way as to avoid pain or trouble. The human brain is always making calculations. Since the brain is so busy with every second of life, it screens out excess, irrelevant material. One’s brain may operate within a particular bandwidth, thereby eliminating what it considers NOT important to one’s immediate physical, emotional, mental survival and may discount the “on the fringes” spiritual aspect.

So, you can imagine the surprise when Jay experienced what he did. His thoughts, then focused on the very survival of his mother, most unexpectedly led him into the “spiritual fringes” as his mother’s life hung in the balance. He heard classical music playing as a background soundtrack as the doctor and nurse worked furiously to revive her. Surely there must have been a logical explanation for this. Jay’s brain was trying to make sense of this spiritual episode. Well, at least his logical left brain side was.

To top that off, Jay witnesses his mother’s spirit rising from her body. Seeing her expression clearly, it was most apparent that she, too, was struggling with the whole event. Between Jay and his mother, they were experiencing a similar form of denial; one of the brain and the other of the mind. These levels of consciousness can appear as the same until the spirit is further away from its physical body, at which point a greater consciousness takes over.

Interestingly, the vision of his mother was so obvious to Jay that he was sure the nurse and doctor could have seen it. The thing is, while they were busy focusing on the physical survival of Jay’s mother, he was able to catch a glimpse of her spirit.

I wrote about Shared-death experience many years ago, after I went to a lecture given by Psychiatrist, Dr. Raymond Moody. He recorded an enormous collection of people’s after-death communications. In all his writings, he would never settle on the validity of these after-death communications. But finally, after many years, he did finally come out, in that lecture, for the reality of these other-worldly experiences, as he bore his first-hand witness account of the shared-death experience he experienced with his mother’s passing. You can read this account at, Shared-Death Experience.

Jay talks about the haunting that comes from not understanding what happened or how it was even possible. While the left side of our brain often questions spiritual events as illogical, to the right brain, spiritual phenomena is especially logical and makes perfect sense. It’s that simple. Jay existed in that spiritual world for a time. He experienced what he experienced in the spiritual realm, before he was released back into the physical realm.

A common hallmark of Jay’s experience in the spiritual world is found in what Jay mentioned. He said his experience seemed more real than the reality of this life, or the reality of what we are used to. Spiritual experiences demonstrate that there is more to this physical reality than we know and the spiritual realm can seem considerably more real than the physical one. Since we dwell in this physical realm, it may not be our usual experience to constantly perceive our lives through a spiritual lens. Some will more than others. But, although we do at times, it’s an amazing thing when we witness a spiritual event. Jay was given something very special. Besides being physically present when his mother passed, he was spiritually present enough to witness it. For sure, Jay must be pleased to know his mother still exists beyond the body..

For those who believe in an afterlife, we know that at our core, we are spiritual beings, first, experiencing a physical experience. We know that spiritual experiences, however fleeting, they are real. However, having dwelled in the physical dimension for some time, we become accustomed to forgetting our original selves, while thinking that our physical senses rule.

But, being a multi-dimensional being in the physical realm, it’s important that we remember that we are actually both. 

We Are Always Connected

Without our departed loved ones, we often feel alone. We often feel unheard. What if we are not only heard, but connected in ways that we could never be apart?

Many years ago, a few months after Christian died, I was outside crying again. It was unusually cold that day, even though it was summer. I was bundled up in a blanket while reading on the front porch. I liked sitting out there when the wind blew because the sound of the wind chimes I had placed around the porch, gave me a certain amount of comfort and peace… maybe like heaven was not so far away.

I remember thinking how cold it was. Although the weather that day was most unseasonable, it sort of matched the cold harsh dread of grief that I felt inside. When it finally got too cold for me, I went inside and started to work around the house. It wasn’t too long before I noticed that the house was particularly hot. Thinking to myself that I was not working that hard to experience that much heat, I noticed the heater was not only on, but up really high. The only thing is… that no one turned the thermostat to heat. It was previously set to air conditioner since it was summertime.

When I noticed this strange happening, and turned the heat off, I noticed that the fan was turned on as well. This does not ever happen. Christian must have heard my thoughts about being cold and tried to lighten my sad mood by letting me know he was around, doing what he could. Also, assuring that I would be warm.

Although it might seem implausible to some, I have found through the experience of others and that of my own, that our loved ones do, in fact, have a way of hearing our words and thoughts. It’s called perception through consciousness and it’s really very simple for them to be aware of us and our thoughts and feelings. Although it might seem not to be the case since their passing, we are always connected, but our physical senses so often deceive us.

If we try to understand the afterlife through the template of what we think we know about this world, we will never even begin to understand or know anything different than what we already do. When it comes to explaining things in the afterlife, I have often said that this life is like a cheap imitation to the world beyond. That place is limitless and abundant. If we don’t allow ourselves to be patiently open to the Spirit, the after-death communications of others and all spiritual things in nature, we just might miss a lot.

Sure, many times it’s easy to over-look something spiritual as a coincidence. Some people even think of a sign or after-death communication as one’s imagination. I’ve got good news for the imaginative. Just because you think you’ve imagined something, it doesn’t mean it didn’t actually happen. For the greater part, I’ve found that after-death communication’s main access occurs precisely through that sort of brain wonderment state.

Too often, our departed loved ones are the unseen force that mysteriously cause unexplainable things to happen that don’t get acknowledged enough. Christian had to somehow push both buttons in opposite directions to turn the heat on, so, as a sign, I would know he was with me.

I did believe that then. Today?

Willgard from Pixabay

Heaven – image Willgard/Pixabay

I don’t even bother to question anymore. I don’t believe in the afterlife. With the many, many after-death communications that I have received personally, I have a sure knowledge that there’s an afterlife. And now, with all my experience, as well as the experiences that others have sent my way, I don’t need wind chimes to feel close to heaven, my knowledge in the afterlife gives me more peace and comfort than I ever had before.

I also know our departed loved ones are aware enough to perceive our thoughts and feelings. They hear us. They love us, and do things for us, too. We never have to go on without them when they are with us all the time. We are always connected in some way we don’t always understand.

Many blessing for a New Year of peace, love, hope and healing!
Jade xo

It’s About Time… (Heavenly time, that is)

The last post was of Pat’s experience with the passing of her friend, Abe. Since that short time, Pat has received an after-death communication from him.

Pat writes:
“Well…this is interesting. For 8 months my watch had stopped at 20 minutes to 4:00. My last conversation with Abe was about whether there is time in the next life. We made a pact that, whoever died first would let the other know.”

“I have not replaced the battery, hoping Abe would fix it as a sign given to me. I just looked at my watch and it now says 10 minutes to 3:00. Abe died around 3 am.”

“My watch is still not working but this makes me smile. I know this is a sign from Abe. He is letting me know he is still with us. Now, I definitely will not put a new battery in it. Every time I look at my watch, I will think of our previous conversation and this new sign from him, and smile.”

“Thank you, Abe!”

Commentary- In my last post, I Didn’t Get a Chance to say Goodbye, Pat shared her last experience with her friend, Abe, and his passing. Well, it’s hardly been two weeks since that post, which focused on departed Abe, when lo and behold, Abe comes forth to remember the promise of a pact made, since Abe was the first to cross over to the other side.

The existence of time

The existence of time

The subject of their pact was whether time, as we know it in the physical world, exists in the heavenly one as well. And not even the last part of this sentence is accurate, as some of the brightest minds in mathematics and science do not know for sure if time exists at all.

For sure, scientists have been trying to understand the nature of “time” for a long time. Given time’s invisible nature, it doesn’t help them much.  However, the more physicists study time, the more time seems to not exist, not even in this realm, although that might have not been something the average person has really given much thought to. Our world may be less solid and static than we might think.

Time is really like a fence that appears solid from a distance. You get closer and you begin to notice the many fibers that make up that fence and the many vulnerabilities. But, looking deeply into a microscope, these fibers seem to separate as our vision peers through them, giving way to the molecules and someday, the atoms from which they are made. 

The conundrum to explain time’s existence and what time is, among physicists is called, the “problem of time.” You can read more about this here.

Time may actually just be a concept to document our experiences in some way. Have you ever noticed how time can seem to go so fast, while other times, so slow. Have you ever just lost track of time? Where did it go?

Eternity NOW

Eternity NOW

In many after-death experiences, time seems to be, at the very least, distorted from our place of existence, if not timeless. Loved ones appear as their youthful selves. Many times, lucid dream visits with our departed loved ones take place in another realm with time distortion.

My point is that even the smartest of the smartest physicists and mathematicians do not understand the nature of time and can’t even say if time exists in this realm or another. Perhaps it will be possible for us to understand the nature of time in the next life, but it could remain a mystery as well. I mean, having thought we have been experiencing time up to this point, how would we explain no time?

I think what Abe was saying with his sign to Pat about her watch, was not necessarily a booming answer from the universe, (and maybe it was) but rather… that he remembers their pact together and is with her at THIS time and always.

And… Pat smiled.

I Didn’t Get a Chance to Say Goodbye

Many people don’t get the chance to say goodbye when a loved one has passed, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still say goodbye. This post explores how you can.

 

Abe

Abe

Pat writes:
Last January, I lost a good friend, Abe, at the nursing home. He was dying. I planned to go see him that Monday but my autistic son, Aaron, had a 24 hour meltdown, so that kept me busy on Skype and the phone, on the Sunday before. Aaron called me at 1:30 am on the phone Monday and I finally told group home to give him some meds so he could settle down. He went to sleep at 3 am.”

“Meanwhile, while I was trying to get back to sleep, I had a vision of Abe looking at me with his big puppy dog eyes. I could not get him out of my mind. Wondering if this was the end for Abe, I asked my departed son, Dustin, to meet him when he crossed over…and told him to bring Kenny with him. Kenny was Abe’s former room mate who passed in 2017.”

“I did not go visit Abe the next day because I was going on 3 hours of sleep, so I slept most of the day. When I did go in on Tuesday, I found out that Abe had passed away early (3 am) Tuesday morning.  I felt bad because I missed saying goodbye to him on Monday, due to no sleep.”

Crossing over

Crossing over

Commentary- Having the opportunity to say goodbye to a loved one is an important part of healing. Being able to say goodbye brings a certain amount of eventual closure to the grief process.

Many times we get that precious chance to be person to person, while we say our very last words to one another, but unfortunately, sometimes we do not. And… often times, this disappointing reality is met by feeling some version of “bad” about the fact that we were not there.

However, we shouldn’t add regret, guilt, shame and even more sadness to an, already, sorrowful situation. It’s not helpful to anyone. When a loved one passes and we didn’t get a chance to be there to say goodbye, we often start thinking in terms of should of, could of and would of, derailing everything that we actually did while our loved one was alive. Being kind and reasonable to yourself is a good way to honor your departed loved one. They wouldn’t want you to beat yourself up over it.

In situations like this, the best perspective to have is that… life is not that simple. 

As we go about the details of our day-to-day lives, which takes a certain amount of self-absorption, we have no idea what is going to happen, when and to whom. We certainly don’t know the exact time that death with come for any one of us next. It is what it is, so it’s important that we be objectively reasonable.

The amazing thing about Pat’s experience is that she did get a chance to say goodbye when Abe came to visit her. Although it wasn’t a physical one, it surely was a spiritual goodbye, which, in my opinion, is way more meaningful and miraculous. What a gift he gave his dear friend.

However, if you did not have a spiritual manifestation from a departing/departed loved one, before or after death, you can still say goodbye! There are two main ways to do this. One is super easy. The other is a little harder, but you might need this one to feel like you have actually made contact. (Both are really easy)

  1. The super easy one. Although our departed loved ones no longer have the physical ears with which to hear our words, NOW, they are empowered with consciousness in which to perceive our thoughts and feelings. Write down what there is to say to them, what you would have said if you were there in those last final moments, then simply say it to them. Out loud or in the privacy of your own thoughts.
  2. The harder one. Follow #1 but do something special in a special setting. In other words, some people do much better when they set up some sort of ritual. They tend to believe it more. Some rituals include, going to their gravesite with flowers and a poignant letter to read. Perhaps you gather special items belonging to your loved one to put on an altar of some sort, like a gravesite. This is a place to go to visit them, in your thoughts and express your thoughts and feelings.
  3. And… another bonus one. There are so many ways to say goodbye, or even not say goodbye if you’re not ready. But, I just thought of another one that is on my website called, Higher Self Communication. Higher Self Communication can be used to communicate with beings on Earth or in Heaven.

The goal here is to make it easier to deal with a loved one’s passing and the process that entails. The grief process in general, is a healing process of getting complete with one’s losses. It takes time to heal these injuries, as there are many layers to work through.

Within the larger perspective, although we never actually say goodbye to our loved ones, saying goodbye after an Earthy passing is just one way to acknowledge our loss of them in the Earthly realm, allowing us to get complete with what happened. This is what happens in our brain’s healing process and is a must if we are to move forward.

But… just because you may say goodbye in this life, it doesn’t mean you don’t say hello in the next. Love is the bond that binds us together. We are always connected.

Saying Goodbye for now

Saying Goodbye for now

Celebrity After-Death Communications

Is it possible to experience an after-death communication from an adored deceased celebrity? Why not?

Picture of Singer, David Bowie

Picture of Singer, David Bowie

Liz writes:
“I was on the sofa on my laptop and Billy, my partner, was putting a towel in the laundry when we heard a noise of something falling in our sun-room. We looked in and found the big picture we have on the wall in there, which is a sketching of David Bowie, had fallen off the wall and slipped behind the chair it sits above. It’s held up by 4 of those heavy duty sticky hooks, and has a cord which sits on the hooks.”

“I have often thought that if the hooks fail, the picture would fall and smash on the floor, that’s why we put the extra support of a couple more hooks behind it. It’s a treasured picture I bought for Billy years ago, being a big Bowie fan for years.”

“Strangely, when if fell, it must have just dropped down and slipped behind the chair, so there was no damage. In the unlikely event of all hooks failing together, you’d imagine the picture to fall forward and break on the floor, but not one of the hooks had come unstuck. All 4 hooks were firmly stuck to the wall, meaning that the cord must have snapped or broken – but it hadn’t, it was fully intact! We hung it back up.”

“How could a picture that size and weight launch itself off the 4 hooks on it’s own when nothing had come unstuck or the cord broken?”

“I have a feeling we’ve had a visit from Stevie, Billy’s friend who passed after a brain hemorrhage 2 years ago on Christmas Eve. They’d been best mates since they were in their teens, and Stevie knew how much Billy loved David Bowie … unless we’ve had a visit from David himself!
LOL!”

Commentary- I would have chalked up this after-death communication as just another visit from deceased best friend, Stevie, who knew of Billy’s love for, also deceased singer, David Bowie. However, it was Liz’s afterthought that caught my attention. 

I’ve found that so many times, afterthoughts, even those that seem to be far-fetched or said in jest, are actually something to consider as subconscious material rising to the surface. And, more than often, I’ve found subconscious material to be a clue leading to previously untapped truth.

Liz laughs, but no joke, I’ve heard this happen before. I started hearing about this early on when GriefandMourning.com first began. Although I did hear out the people who wrote to tell me about their experiences with dead celebrities back then, I might have wondered about their imaginations or wishful thinking. You know, similar to the “I was Cleopatra in another life” sort of thing. But after hearing enough of these celebrity after-death visits, I realized that just like our deceased loved ones, for whom we care so much about, beloved celebrities also fall into the mix.

It was only after learning about 1990’s pop singer, Debbie Gibson’s experience with her beloved Liberace, and the mirrored piano of his that she bought, that I began to realize this was really a thing.

Debbie received a call to be a mystery guest on a show with a Psychic Medium and wondered who he was going to even contact, but agreed to be on the show. On the way out the door she heard something fall to the floor and noticed that it was one of the mirrored parts from the piano. For some reason, she put it in her purse. 

When she got to the studio, she and the medium couldn’t see each other, as their backs were to each other. She had never heard of this medium before. When he began his reading, he stopped mid sentence to say, “I’m getting something about a piano.” Then, “Surely, you couldn’t have brought a piano with you?” “Well, actually…” and she went on to tell him that she brought a sentimental piece of a piano with her. Immediately he named Liberace and that he had a message for her. Liberace wanted her to know that he is around her and was watching over her and the piano. After that, Debbie realized his continued presence.

As people in this life may develop a meaningful relationship and affinity for a celebrity of some sort, those artists do the same for their fans as a whole. Making people smile is what they have always known and are used to. Perhaps some of them are still trying to do that. 

Although I’ve never experienced a celebrity visitation, I do believe it to be possible. After all, dead celebrities are spirits too.

And maybe this classic “picture falling off the wall” was just an after-death communication from Stevie. Maybe it was David Bowie. But, even more amazing to think about is… maybe it was both! 

My gut tells me… it was probably both! Yeah, that feels right!

 

Processing Grief Through Writing

In processing her grief over the loss of her husband, Rich, Kathy writes a book of their last and fateful trip to the Bahamas, as seen through the eyes of her cocker spaniel. 

Kathy writes:

Rich

Rich

“My husband, Rich, died 4 years ago while we were on a dream trip to the Bahamas on our Pearson 385 sailing vessel. It was to be the start of a great retirement, but our trip changed course and altered our lives forever. Rich became septic and a short 4 weeks later he was dead.”

“I had this idea in my head to write a book that chronicled our last and final trip down the west coast of Florida, the Keys, and the Bahamas. I had done a blog along the way and needed to add some more chapters and elaborate a bit on the contents. The results “CJ, BITTS, and a BOAT, An Adult Cruising Adventure.” It was published in March of 2019.”

 

CJ&Bitts Charlotte Harbor

CJ&Bitts Charlotte Harbor

“The book is written through the eyes and voice of CJ, my cocker spaniel. Bitts is her Shih Tzu sister, and of course the boat is our beloved Rikava, which was named by joining together parts of our names. The book is a dog story, a love story, and a travelogue that has humor, education, adventure, drama and tragedy.”

“First and foremost, I wanted the book to be a tribute to my wonderful Rich. Maybe I just wanted to immortalize him. I thought writing it would be cathartic, and in a way it was, but it certainly was hard to write the “Livin the Nightmare” chapter.”

 

“I truly felt like I was there on each and every entry of the blog, and it was all so very crystal clear, like it all happened just yesterday. The happy parts made me smile and the sad parts brought me right back to the reality of this nightmare. It made me shutter and wonder how I ever made it through it. Writing this showed me that I was stronger than I ever thought I was and yes, I made it through it. The Acknowledgements: gave me the opportunity to thank the multitude of family, friends, and strangers who helped me through the ordeal.”

“However, having stated all this, I never thought I would make it through the first two years of the grieving process either. I was such a mess. I swear I cried all day, each and every day. If it wasn’t for having to take care of my elderly Mom and autistic brother, I probably would not have gotten out of bed. God certainly knows what he is doing!”

“So, just like some of the rest of the grievers out there, I made it through the worst of times. I think of Rich when I wake up and before I go to bed at night. I don’t think that will ever change. However, now I do more smiling than crying, remembering his sweet soul and all the magical times we had and truly believing we will see each other again at the end of my time on Earth. And yes, I have emerged stronger than I ever thought possible.”

CJ

CJ

Commentary- I asked Kathy to share the healing process of writing her book, through the voice of her Cocker Spaniel, CJ, because I saw the tremendous value of articulating and processing grief in this very cathartic way.

In times of intense grief, the human brain is fixated in the one dimensional thinking of immediate pain, pain and more pain. It can think of nothing else. Shock and denial sets in as a form of natural anesthesia. This is the way our brain goes into survival mode in an attempt to numb us, and tamp down the full devastation of the emotional spectrum that surely will come.

With time, as we begin to process what happened and how our world has changed because of it, shock and denial fade as we begin to feel more of the full weight and consequence of our loss. And just like the feeling of anesthesia that has worn off, we begin to experience the raw pain as our new reality sets in. This is a normal part of our grief process.

In this dark unfamiliar place, we search for light. Being newly blinded, we struggle to understand what we can’t yet begin to comprehend. We try to find tools that will help us find our way out of the pit of despair in which we are now contained. We go through a confusing myriad of emotions that come, go and blend into one another. It repeats so often that we think we might not survive.

If you’ve experienced loss, all this may sound familiar, It’s a dark, lonely and devastating place. But one thing is for sure. While you are having all these thoughts and feelings, the good news is that you are on the road to begin to process them. This takes time and perspective. It also takes courage.

Writing is a deliberate way to work through the hard to face emotional blocks linked to difficult thoughts. Being able to articulate a grief process is a must, if one is to ever uncover what is actually thought and felt. Although verbal expression works too, writing is a more private option.

Using the medium of writing, through book or blog as Kathy did, is not only a great idea to face the truth of what happened, but does so in a immensely therapeutic way. This is why keeping a journal of thoughts and feelings are often recommended for the bereaved. Taking time to slow the thoughts and feelings down can be calming and peaceful. Of course it can be bittersweet, too.

Allowing CJ to tenderly tell much of the story was a brilliant way for Kathy to process her devastating loss from a multi-dimensional perspective. This is related to peripheral healing. Both she and CJ told their own story, but from different points of view. In doing so, she gave herself the opportunity to heal different layers on different levels. She told what she could tell as CJ and she told what she could tell as Kathy. 

Articulating thoughts by spoken or written word, can help to isolate the cause of particular emotions. Sometimes, it just important to know what your dealing with. Poetry is great for this and can really capture your painful world in a very deep, dramatic and creative way.

There are very good reasons for writing down your thoughts and feelings. It is possible to discover that certain painful thought-producing emotions are not even real. If you don’t consciously monitor your thoughts on a regular basis, you may have some false ones. For example. It might be something you unconsciously once heard and integrated, without any thought about it. Maybe you didn’t even know the thought was there.

When you really start to listen to your thoughts, you find they are very active. They say all sorts of things. Some things are true and some are not. Some are good and some are just plain, unfair. If you pay attention to them, you will become conscious of what is dictating your experience. Discovering your thoughts, speaking or writing about the pain of those thoughts can shed light into even the darkest of regions, thereby causing light and truth to be your healer. 

Rich

Rich

Although Kathy still misses Rich today, she has come a long way. Dealing with her loss in this profound way, she has done the hard work. She has fully processed her most painful experiences in a very creative way. Having been forged in the Refiner’s flame, she will never be the same. She is stronger and more valiant than ever before. And Rich smiles, as he muses at the absolute magnificence of the woman he still loves. 

You know what they say. “Life is short.” But… without as much as missing a beat, someday, Rich and Kathy will reunite. Their adventure will continue, doing what they love, together, they will sail the heavenly seas again with their furry friends. And this time, their voyage won’t be cut short.

For those interested in Kathy and CJ’s book adventure together, you can find it here- Amazon.comBarnesandNoble.com, and BookVenture.com.

“It is a testament to the human capacity for resilience and survival, to create memories and honor those memories that have been created. It is a lovely memoir of one’s travels through life”.
-Reviewer from “The US Review of Books”.

All proceeds go toward animal welfare.

Our Angels Watch Over Us

Cat experiences several after-death communications for a variety of reasons, but mainly to urgently warn of impending hereditary heart disease in the family.

Catherine writes:
“In 2017, my fiancee, Robert, died in my car in a tragic accident, after which I got several very clear after-death communications.” Continue reading

Survivor’s Guilt (Part Three)

In part one, Survivor’s Guilt was defined, common symptoms were discussed as well as a few examples. In Survivor’s Guilt part two, we took a closer look into the mechanics and dynamics of Survivor’s Guilt and what causes humans to become so deeply psychologically affected, along with new ways to think about it. Continue reading