Sometimes we get to the point when we realize that death is not what we fear the most. Rather, what we fear the most is living our lives unapologetically on our own terms!
This made me smile.
In an after-death communication Melanie received thirty years ago, Millie, Melanie’s mother-in-law, appears to comfort and relieve Melanie of her regret and guilt.
Melanie had always been very close to her mother-in-law, Millie. She loved her dearly. So when Ronald, Melanie’s husband at the time, got into a nasty fight with his mother and forbade Melanie from speaking to her, although it was emotionally painful to both her and Millie, Melanie supported her husband’s side of the argument.
Six months passed until Melanie was able to see Millie again. Unfortunately, it was at the hospital, after Millie had already passed. Now, what was left of Millie’s warmth and aliveness was her lifeless body lying in the hospital bed she had recently left. This was difficult for Melanie who had many regrets. During that six month of silence, how could Melanie know she would never see Millie alive again? In light of the new situation, Melanie thought about all that wasted time on something so pointless as this feud. Melanie was sorry to have been apart of it all.
Sarah shares a recent phone call after-death communication from her father, who passed exactly 5 years to the day.
“Last night we received a phone call from my dad who passed away exactly 5 years ago. Our television, phone, and internet are all connected through the same cable service provider. So, anytime we receive a phone call, the phone will ring and the name of the person calling will appear on TV. At 5:40 pm last night the phone started ringing and on the TV the caller ID said: call from [my dad’s name]. The odd thing was that the number that the call was coming from was our own phone number. It’s not possible to actually call our own number. I was shocked and a little frightened so I didn’t pick up the phone. I let it go to voicemail. I waited fearfully for what I might hear. Then after our greeting and the tone, there was nothing – just silence.”
“What’s extremely odd is that the day and time of his call would mark the 5 year anniversary of his death. What is also odd is that he passed away at 5:40 am. The call came in at 5:40 pm. I wish I would have picked up the phone. I was just too shocked though. I wonder if I would have actually heard his voice.”
I once heard someone say that the dash between the date you were born and the date of your death IS your life. Looking at it from this perspective reveals a few things. For one, the dash is brief. Life may seem long when you are young, but the older you get, the faster it goes… and the more you understand how short it really is… and precious too.
Another thing – there is no information about the dash. It’s just a dash. However long we have inside this dash and what we do with it… is up to us. What will we do with the area between our birth and death that is our life?
Because lastly, when one has passed and the physical body is gone, the whole life of that person is distilled down to our memories of them. You see, the last physical evidence that we once existed IS what we leave in our place. It is the family with our DNA, the people we loved, knew and affected, our beloved pets, the things we owned, the photos we were captured in, the mark we made on the world, a grave marker with the date we were born, the date that we died and a dash in between… AND… hopefully some kind words to sum up how we and our whole life are remembered. This is what your dash is all about.
You see, being remembered is just that. Being RE-MEMBERED. Or in other words… being reconstituted in someone’s memory of you – who you were, how you lived your life and what you contributed to the world in which you lived. This is your legacy.
How will you be remembered? What will be said about your life? Did you make the world a better place in your stead?
It’s up to YOU! It’s your dash!
Something to think about.
Note: For a preview of how your final dash might be re-membered, see The Exit Interview