Always remember….. you are SO loved.
On my last blog entry, I posted an inspirational poem called “Invictus”, by William Ernest Henley. Although I have always been positively impacted by this poem, I’ve never known about the man who wrote it or his inspiration.
In my mind, and as my previous post picture suggests, I have imagined a story about a Captain with his vessel – rocking back and forth upon an angry sea. In this terrible tempest, dark and ominous skies imply a foreboding fate.
Lightening flashes briefly illuminate the scene while monstrous waves crash against this tiny ship and the great sea waits to swallow it up.
by William Ernest Henley
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole.
I thank whatever gods may be,
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance,
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeoning of chance,
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
A breadwinner in a small town loses his job and with it, the means to support his family. He feels like a failure. He looks at the trusting faces of his wife and children and feels helpless. He doesn’t want to let them down.
Upon examination, the doctor tells her, “There’s a serious problem. Get your life in order…. You have no more than six months to live.” Shock and disbelief set in. The clock starts ticking…
I wrote this poem in two stages. The first part is about the horrific emotions I felt, and the state of mind I was in, almost immediately. The beginnings of this poem emerged within a few weeks of Christian’s death, and for months, I felt the painful depths of each and every word I wrote.
It wasn’t until I was on the edge of life and death, or as I call it, “the living dead” that I could not hang on anymore. I begged my God to take me home. It was in God’s reply back to me that showed me a future, somewhere out there on that dark horizon. And even though, at the time, I wasn’t sure how I would emotionally arrive at it, I could, at least see where my journey was taking me. So, I wrote down the words of God. After doing so, I could see that God was making a promise to me, to hold on, in time I would be healed of the terrible grief I experienced, and even better; that a powerful transformation would occur in my life. Is all I had to do was to keep an open and loving heart, trust and follow the path and road signs (words) God laid out for me, in the second part of my poem.
By the end of it all, I could see through the illusion of death and that life just does what life does. It’s not personal. By the grace of God, I learned to have grace myself, and see that, although loss is very sad, there is no reason to fear separation from another; for in an infinite reality, we are, and always will be connected. We are infinite beings! It is just the illusion of separation of ourselves in this life, that confuses us so much.
(For my Beloved Christian, who left this realm, March 31, 2010)
How cold and cruel is death’s painful sting,
As tears falls from swollen eyes.
Then tales of separation,
Begin to speak their lies.
They tell you that you’ve lost,
The one you love so much.
Forever to be gone,
Coldly taken by death’s touch.
This is my experience about how I eventually transformed the terrible darkness of despair and healed, as I chose to enter into the light. How did I do it? I rose to my highest and strongest self and chose LOVE and LIGHT, rather then sinking to my lowest and weakest self, and allowing FEAR and BITTERNESS to overcome me.
Here is my story on… How to grieve the sudden and unexpected death of a loved one…
When you hear the news, you simply refuse to believe what their mouth is saying and what your ears are hearing. Perhaps all sounds will cease and you will be left with only the motion of their mouth moving as shock and denial set in.
Emotions swell quickly. You know…. the ones you would rather not feel. The ones you’ve worked so hard all your life to avoid. No one likes these ones, but nevertheless, it doesn’t stop them from coming forth with unabashed fury and intensity. Oh, this is intense! Breathe.
My name is jade.
How I came to have this website/blog was most unexpected.
A few days before Thanksgiving of 2011, I was having a phone conversation with my adult son, Chris, who lives in another state. I was discussing the challenges I was facing with writing my very first book, which is a current work in progress. I explained that my story is complex, so the compilation of it is difficult since it contains copious amounts of detailed information that has been given to me with regards to some of my more intensely profound spiritual/human experiences. These experiences that I call “Holy Moments” have spanned over the last four plus years of my book, but have actually been an occurrence throughout my whole life. If you have had them, you know what I’m taking about.